Well, long time no talking at you fair readers. This is Jeremy, the unfunny one of the DEJ Experience. You may also know me from such classic column titles s as “A Day With The Crippler.” Wait, can I mention the word crippler or is it too soon? Is it taboo? Well, nevermind then. You may also remember me from “Frustration Nation” a title I look back on fondly even if it pigeonholed me as the angry writer with poorly conceived ideas but with a lot of piss and vinegar. At least there was some emotion, I guess.
For those of you who are on the fence on whether or not you would like our show and columns, well, do you like to laugh? I hope so cause Dusty and Eric are funny. Kevin does his thing with cartoons and his review of the show, hence Jackie Gayda going to town on Eric Nelson with a strap-on while I sit back and listen and insert my dollar-twenty five in to the conversation and try to Keep Dusty and Eric on topic.
Anyway, seeing as how we are rededicating ourselves from the DEJ Experience to get more of our thoughts out on the Torch site I thought it would be best to cover some ground rules not just of the three of us but for the other esteemed Torch columnists going in to the New Year. Below are just a few of the things you will not see in a DEJ blog. These are things that irritate us, well me especially since I wrote this one.
Match of the Year.
Enough is enough with the constant applicable title of Match of The Year for every ROH main event or any match for that matter. There is a time and place for that and that is in the year end issue of the torch that takes an entire issue or two for the year end awards. Stop telling us something is a match of the year candidate. No one cares. Is this a ploy to get everyone to read the year end awards issue and then go back and see if the matches you call a “match of the Year candidate” show on the list? As a fan of wrestling people will make that determination ion their own. There is no need for the easier space filler of “Match of the Year candidate” over and over and over. Much like writing over and over and over all the time to fill out a paragraph. Commentary on the match should suffice. If the job to describe the action is done correctly and in a satisfying fashion people will realize the match is special and could be placed in the pantheon of matches to remember later.
Tag teams.
WWE tag team wrestling is dead. There, end of story. Please, please stop bringing up the fact that tag team wrestling used to draw money. We all know it has in the past but it is no longer an option in the WWE money making scheme. Factions have replaced tag teams and even those are far and few between. TNA doe a much better job with their tag team division and it still has gaping faults. The WWE uses tag team wrestling to fill main events on their television shows and PPV’s. Quick, name the Smackdown tags champs and then ask yourself if it matters. Even if you can’t answer ask yourself if it matters. The answer is simple. It doesn’t matter who the tag team champs are because the titles hold no value and there is little wrong with that. They are used like props and the focus is on the single belts. Just about every main event wrestler will tell you that the ultimate goal is to be the World champ or the WWE champ not the tag champs. Can tag team wrestling still draw money, yes I believe so but WWE does not utilize it and has not for quite some time.
Cruiserweights.
Yeah, yeah we get it. WWE doesn’t utilize their cruiserweight wrestlers correctly. This has been mentioned over and over and over and over and over since WCW was purchased by WWE. It isn’t going to change now so why bring it up? There will never, ever, be a Cruiserweight division in WWE. It is not in their plans nor is it in their company doctrine. Everyone works the same style no matter how big or small so there is no difference. It isn’t a fear of pigeon holing wrestlers to a certain class; it is the danger of making the slow shrinking muscle heads look like slow shrinking muscle heads who punch and kick instead of using motion in their matches. Funny thing is that people pay to see the slow shrinking muscle heads so there must be some virtue in their performances. Until this changes, the cruiserweight division in WWE is dead. It’s time to accept it and never bring it up again. Oh and save the argument that variety will help ratings and PPV buys. There are valid arguments on both sides but this isn’t the place for it. This is a call to stop bringing it up until there is a reason. Even if the WWE cruiserweight title still existed look at the contenders. Who wants to see those matches?
No more cries of racism.
Every damn time something happens between white and black, black and white, black and black, blah blah blah there is the inevitable cry of racism and intolerance. I beg and plead for this to stop. Constantly calling out things that are indeed not racist sullies acts of true racism and inevitably makes us all forget what is a truly racist act or idea. Even though they are no longer with the company Cryme Tyme was continually called out for their stereotypical gimmick. Well, have you met street hustlers? Ever seen a blacksploiatation film? Those people exist and thus, WWE turned them in to a character. Shelton Benjamin’s mama comes to mind even though that seems like eons ago. It was a lackluster and juvenile attempt at humor and it succeeded in appeasing the masses. Much like a Martin Lawrence film that WWE swiped for the gimmick. Oh and people flocked to his horrible movies as well. Neither is racist it may be lowbrow and easy but it isn’t racist. Wrestling hasn’t seen a truly racist act since Triple H and Booker T but even then the plug was pulled and quickly forgotten about because they knew the inevitable failure they were headed towards. Give me another Colonel Debeers incident and then the ban on screaming racism will be lifted.
Jeremy Maes is the "J" in the DEJ Audio Experience, found at PWTorch.com. He has been doing this for some time now, long enough that he can’t remember the start date. His famous words for all listeners have never changed “Don’t follow my path son. Don’t follow my path.” Find him on the PWTorch.com VIP Message Board, or shoot him an e-mail at theaudioexperience@gmail.com
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