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The Specialists
A WWS EXCLUSIVE: Transcript of Tazz and Mike Adamle preparing for the next live ECW! Apr 19, 2008 - 8:32:09 PM
Earlier today, WWS acquired a secretly recorded conversation between ECW announce team Tazz and Mike Adamle. The discussion took place in the production studios at WWE headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut.
A transcript follows:
TAZZ
Mike! I've been trying to get a hold of you for days. We're live again on Tuesday and we have a lot to go over. ECW fans were not happy with your debut performance. I'm going to prepare you for the next show.
ADAMLE
Sounds good, The Tazz.
TAZZ
It's just Tazz.
ADAMLE
I understand. We're off the air, so you're out of character. I'll save it for the next EC show.
TAZZ
It's ECW.
ADAMLE
I know. I'm going to start calling it EC. Kind of a cool nickname, you know? Like how Beverages and More goes by Bev Mo'. EC is going to be the coolest brand in the entire W.
TAZZ
You mean WWE.
ADAMLE
No I don't. Cover! Cover!
TAZZ
What?
ADAMLE
Mike the Miz just went for a cover.
TAZZ
That was days ago. Mike, have you been studying up like I asked?
ADAMLE
Please don't take that tone with me. I am a highly trained broadcaster with 30 years of experience. I'm worth every penny of the $300,000 Vince is paying me.
TAZZ
You're getting $300,000 a year!?
ADAMLE
Wow, you're scary when you scream like that. You should think about becoming a wrestler.
TAZZ
I was.
ADAMLE
Really? I'd love to commentate one of your matches; "It's The Tazz taking on Mike the Miz this Sunday at Backlashley!"
TAZZ
Look Mike, I'm going to play a thirty-second clip of a typical technical wrestling exchange. I want you to call the moves.
ADAMLE
You're Jamaican me crazy, man.
TAZZ
Go.
ADAMLE
Mike the Miz and Shel-DON lock up in the center of the ring. Oh! Mike the Miz hits a figure-four leglock. And another figure-four leglock. Shel-DON counters the figure four leglock with a reverse figure four leglock and Irish figure-four leglocks him into the corner. Shel-DON charges in, and nails a quadruple figure-four leglock! That's pain in sixty-four ways. Where's the beef!?
TAZZ
Stop! Stop. Please. None of those moves are a figure-four leglock. And why did you say, "Where's the beef?"
ADAMLE
I like to pepper in my commentary with hip catchphrases. Don't have a cow, man, I just want my MTV.
TAZZ
Look, we have a six-man tag coming up tonight. Here's a picture of every wrestler in it. I want you to name them.
ADAMLE
Sure. That's Kofi Kingston, Tommy The Dreamer, The Kane, C.M., Mark Calloway, and Jimmy…ah… Jimmy…
TAZZ
Jimmy Wang Yang.
ADAMLE
Right.
TAZZ
Say it back to me.
ADAMLE
Jimmy Yang Wang.
TAZZ
No.
ADAMLE
Jimmy Wang Tang.
TAZZ
No.
ADAMLE
Jimmy Drinks Tang.
TAZZ
No.
ADAMLE
Jimmy Yanks Wang.
TAZZ
No.
ADAMLE
Are you sure? Cause that sounds right to me.
TAZZ
I'm sure.
ADAMLE
Jimmy Tang Wang Yang.
TAZZ
No!
ADAMLE
Is the Jimmy part right? It definitely starts with Jimmy?
TAZZ
Dammit! We're going live on Tuesday!
ADAMLE
Whoooo!
TAZZ
Did you just "Whooo?"
ADAMLE
I'm excited to go live. Whooo!
TAZZ
Don't do that ever again.
ADAMLE
When that old guy did it everyone liked it.
TAZZ
That old guy is a legend in this business, Ric Flair.
ADAMLE
Yeah, him! I gotta tell you, that segment on Raw with him was one of the fakiest things I've ever seen. They C.G.I.'d those tears in, right?
TAZZ
No, that was real.
ADAMLE
Yeah right. I know that word you all use round me. Kayfed, right? Now that I work here I really want to know; how many Ultimate Warriors were there? I know there was the original one, and he was real, but then after he died of an overdose they brought in the some skinny guy to be the new Ultimate Warrior. And then he was gone and they brought in a third guy…
TAZZ
Mike, you have not listened to a word I have tried to teach you!
ADAMLE
Frankly, someone has been coaching me with a lot more experience than you. He's given me plenty of tips and he's told me that my EC debut last week was stellar.
TAZZ
Who?
ADAMLE
The Jim Ross.
Email WWS editor Marc R. Warzecha at: TorchWarz@yahoo.com
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