Select Next Article by Category
WE ARE A PROUD UGO AFFILIATE SINCE 1999
|
The Specialists
A WWS exclusive: TRANSCRIPT OF THIS MORNING'S MILLION DOLLAR CREATIVE MEETING WITH VINCE MCMAHON!
May 27, 2008 - 5:05:50 PM |
|
WWS Editor Marc R. Warzecha
WWS has aquired an exclusive audio recording of a WWE Creative meeting headed by WWE chairman Vince McMahon. A transcript follows:
VINCE MCMAHON
My announcement last night on RAW took unmitigated testicular fortitude. I’m doing something that’s never been done before in the history of television: giving away one million dollars!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #1
Mr. McMahon? I’m...ah...so sorry to have to tell you this but...ah...this is NOT the first time one million dollars has been given away on television.
VINCE MCMAHON
What? YOU’RE FIRED!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #1
Nice working with you all.
VINCE MCMAHON
How could this happen? We built the entire show toward my huge ‘never before done on television” announcement.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #2
Well sir, you didn’t tell any of us what it was going to be.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #2
Nice working with you all this week.
VINCE MCMAHON
You’re telling me that a million dollars has been given away on television before?
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #3
Many times sir. On Deal or No Deal, The Price is Right Million Dollar Challenge, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire...
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #3
It’s been a pleasant three days working here.
VINCE MCMAHON
I look like an ass. Now I have to come up with a new “never before done television” idea. Lucky for everyone here, I’m a genius.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #4
Yes, you are sir.
VINCE MCMAHON
I like you. When did you start?
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #4
This morning, sir.
VINCE MCMAHON
Watch out, Brisco. This one’s breathing down your neck.
GERALD BRISCO
He sure is, sir.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #4
Mr. Brisco, aren’t you going to leave?
GERALD BRISCO
He fires me all the time. I just don’t go. I haven’t been paid since ‘92.
VINCE MCMAHON
I’ve been kicking this idea around: What if we sent a group of WWE Superstars to an island. Each week they have a challenge to see who gets eliminated. The survivor gets the million dollars.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #4
Been done, sir. It’s called Survivor.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #4
It’s been an amazing day working with you all.
VINCE MCMAHON
Forget the million! Its a show about six WWE superstars who hang out in a coffee house and are all great friends...
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #5
Been done. It’s called Friends.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #5
I technically haven’t been hired yet. I just started filling out my W2 and they were going to photocopy my Driver's License and Social Security Card. They told me to jump into this meeting and...
VINCE MCMAHON
You’re hired.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #5
Thank you.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #5
Of course.
VINCE MCMAHON
How about this one? There’s a group of WWE Superstars all playing New Yorkers who go on and on about nothing.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #6
That’s Seinfeld.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! So, we re-sign Scott Hall and Cristy Hemme. He plays a Cuban bandleader and she’s the red-headed wife who always wants to be in the show.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #7
I Love Lucy.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! So it’s Matt Striker as a compassionate teacher returning to his inner city high school.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #8
Welcome Back Kotter.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! Here it is: John Cena is a normal guy living in Chicago. Suddenly his long lost cousin Umaga shows up and moves in with him even though they’re strangers. It’s perfect.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #9
Perfect Strangers.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! I was thinking, what if JBL got shot...
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #10
Dallas.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! How about we have camera crews follow WWE Superstars around and wait for them to get arrested. Then we...
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #11
Cops.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! It’s Pat Patterson as a lawyer...
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #12
Will and Grace.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! Booker T and Sharmell open a chain of laundromats and get rich.
MICHAEL HAYES
I hate it.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE...suspended. How about a show with Michael Hayes starring as basically himself.
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #13
All in the Family.
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! Somebody in this room toss out an idea!
RANDOM-YOUNG-JUST-HIRED WRITER #14
Sir? How about...ah...a pro wresting show with great matches, compelling episodic storylines, and intriguing characters?
VINCE MCMAHON
YOU’RE FIRED! No one would watch that crap.
Email WWS editor Marc R. Warzecha at: TorchWarz@yahoo.com
For more BREAKING NEWS on WWE, TNA, ROH
visit our affiliate: JASON POWELL'S PROWRESTLING.NET
For UFC AND MMA NEWS & BLOGS
visit our affiliate: MMATORCH.COM - now featuring Jamie Penick's MMATorch Daily Audio Updates!
REACT TO THIS STORY IN OUR FREE PWTORCH FORUM
PWTORCH VIP SIGN-UP INFO - NO ADS, EXCLUSIVE CONTENT
| 
| MORE "The Specialists" ARTICLES
|
| 11/18 WWE ECW Hits & Misses: Miz & Morrison, All American Challenge, 6 Man Tag |
| PARKS: The Mike Adamle Experiment - How much blame for his failure is on his shoulders? |
| UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 11/17 Raw: Clearance sale for Released Wrestlers merch, Relationship Building with Punk & Kofi, Batista vs. Ref |
| MAGIC, MEMORIES AND MANIA: Ten Step Plan for a more refreshing John Cena return |
| THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - ECW TV 11/18: The Offspring of Chris Masters and Alex Wright, The JoMizzy Fan Club, Doing The Vince Dance On Live Television |
| 11/17 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Superstar Forum, Jericho's Promo, Hardy vs. Regal, Lumberjack Match |
| THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - WWE Raw 11/17: Raw re-uses Scripts, Spoon-feeds Storylines, and Jericho Tries to convince Cena-haters |
| 11/14 WWE Smackdown Hits & Misses: Hardy vs. Benjamin, Fat Jokes, Hardy vs. Undertaker |
| FAST FORWARD 11/17: Predictions on Survivor Series, Christopher Daniels, and Please No on Jeff Hardy's deranged character |
| KEY MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Guide to the beginning, middle, and end of the Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho feud |
| THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - 11/14 WWE Smackdown: That's the Fine Art of Delivering Bad Jokes and Burying Opponents, Baby |
| 11/13 TNA Impact Hits & Misses: Young vs. Bashir, Tag Title Match, End of the Show |
| UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 11/13 TNA IMPACT: What I noticed that you might have missed |
| THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - TNA Impact 11/13: Young Dorks vs. 007 MEM, Worst Feud of 2008, Awesome Kong to Decapitate Disney Characters |
| 11/11 WWE ECW Hits & Misses: Hardy vs. Finlay |
| 11/10 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Priceless, Phoenix vs. James, Michaels vs. Jericho |
| ECW Storylines and Feuds - Analyzing everything, which would be the Hardy-Finlay and Dreamer-Swagger feuds |
| Raw Storylines and Feuds - The final week for Jericho-Michaels, Kane-Mysterio, and more |
| ABSURDITY OF IT ALL Midweek Report: ECW, Survivor Series, Randy Orton, And Them Chinlock Blues |
| Smackdown Storylines and Feuds - Complete rundown of all the rivalries on WWE's blue brand |
(c) 1999-2008 TDH Communications Inc. - All rights reserved.
|
|
ARE YOU VIP? SIGN UP NOW FOR $7.50 A MONTH FOR INSTANT ACCESS TO AD-FREE, BENEFIT-PACKED VIP VERSION OF PWTORCH.COM (see screen capture)
INFO ON SUBSCRIPTION TO AD-FREE VIP SITE
INCREDIBLE BENEFITS!
Over 50 full-length audio updates per month (iPod compatible)... New weekly award-winning Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter (text and printable pdf versions) with latest exclusive insider news, new Torch Talks, great columns, Keller's cover story, much more... Hundreds of full-length back issues of PWTorch Newsletter from late-'80s to today... Ad-free access to PWTorch.com's Main Listing... VIP Forum with interaction with other subscribers and Torch staff... Torch Talk Library with text and audio of hundreds of interview installments from last 20 years... Great layout... Deepest archives on pro wrestling history anywhere... Keller's PWTorch Today PDF Bulletins with email alerts... VIP Email reports on major PPVs and TV shows... Staff Roundtable Reviews (text and audio) followiing major events... The best staff of writers and world class reporting since 1987... We'd love for you to join us and experience the most entertaining, authoritative, experienced staff of professional reporters and commentators in the business... SIGN ME UP NOW!
|
| Articles Grouped by Category |
 |
| Torch Today |
| TORCH STORE: Buy Two, Get One Free November Special on Back Issue Sets, Keller DVD |
| TORCH TODAY: PWTorch invading WWE Universe - join the official PWTorch.com reader group |
| THE DAILY WORD 11/17: Caldwell looks at Raw tonight, Triple H up for major movie role, NWA tapings in Hollywood, Where's Orlando Jordan? |
|
| WWE News |
| WWE News: WWE stock price takes an absolute beating on Wednesday |
| WWE News: WWE video game accessible on your Mobile phone; Video preview included |
| WWE News: WWE trying to re-energize fanbase through social networking to challenge Myspace, Facebook |
|
| TNA News |
| TNA News: Kurt Angle positioning himself as future leader of TNA; why TNA started Main Event Mafia angle |
| TNA News: Results and News from Monday's event in Nashville with the Tennessee Titans (w/VIDEO) |
| TNA News: TNA challenging WWE for market share in key region after WWE finishes European tour (w/VIDEO) |
|
| ROH News |
| ROH News: New video wire with promos for Nigel McGuinness vs. Bryan Danielson, Austin Aries vs. Jimmy Jacobs |
| ROH News: Nigel McGuinness says whether he enjoys being a wrestler; comments on C.M. Punk and Colt Cabana |
| ROH News: Replay times for Ring of Honor's "Driven" PPV featuring Steen & Generico, Nigel, Briscoes, Danielson, Jerry Lynn |
|
| Other News |
| Other News: Where is he now? "The Model" Rick Martel missing the wrestling travel schedule (w/VIDEO) |
| Hogan News: Did RVD help boost viewership for Week 5 of Hulk Hogan's CCW? Complete series ratings analysis |
| Other News: Bret Hart discusses whether his wrestling career is over; describes second book project |
|
| PPV Reports |
| RADICAN'S ROH DRIVEN PPV REPORT: Strong-McGuinness, Steen & Generico vs. Black & Jacobs |
| KELLER'S TNA TURNING POINT PPV 11/9: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Sting vs. Styles, Nash vs. Samoa Joe, Main Event Mafia |
| CALDWELL'S TNA TURNING POINT PPV REPORT 11/9: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV |
|
| TV Reports |
| 11/18 ECW on Sci-Fi Report: Mayer's "alt perspective" report including Team Hardy vs. Team Henry, dancing debut, Dreamer vs. Swagger |
| CALDWELL'S ECW TV REPORT 11/18: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of WWE's Sci-Fi show featuring Matt Hardy, Finlay, Miz & Morrison |
| KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 11/17: Ongoing coverage of live show including Santino raps for Akon, Orton-Punk |
|
| Arena Reports |
| 11/12 WWE in Newcastle, U.K.: Batista & Mysterio vs. Jericho & Orton, Shawn Michaels vs. JBL, Haas Hogan in the house |
| WWE News: Complete Smackdown tapings report for next two weeks - Jeff Hardy, Triple H, Koslov set up Survivor Series |
| WWE News: Second detailed report from England with full results of tonight's Raw telecast |
|
| MMA / UFC Coverage |
| MMATorch Briefing: Fedor wants to fight Lesnar, Filho out of WEC, Heavyweight rankings, Big announcement |
| MMA Update: New Top Ten Heavyweight Rankings by MMATorch Staff Just Released |
| UFC 91 AUDIO ROUNDTABLE (free): Pennick, Ennis, Pelkey, Bent (67 min.) |
|
| KELLER'S TAKE |
| KELLER: A look back at Mike Adamle's infamously disastrous and embarrassing debut as ECW announcer |
| KELLER: WWE addressed a lot of problems with Raw last night - a march through the eight in our reader poll |
| KELLER SHORT: What was missing from last night's celebration of 800 episodes of WWE Raw... |
|
| MITCHELL'S TAKE |
| MITCHELL SHORT: WWE Raw Wrestlers Have No Guts Part 2 |
| MITCHELL: Scott Steiner and The Main Event Mafia: The Comeback Promo |
| MOJO MITCHELL'S WWE RAW 11/10: Stream of Stephanie McMahon Gets Creative And Ends All The Bad Storylines (Okay, One of Them) |
|
| MCNEILL'S TAKE |
| McNEILL's Mailbag: On Lauren Thompson and 70's Style Booking |
| Indestructible: McNEILL previews TNA Turning Point 2008! |
| McNEILL's Mailbag: Should Michaels face 'Taker at WrestleMania? |
|
| CALDWELL'S TAKE |
| CALDWELL'S MEDIA CLUB: Eddie Guerrero DVD review Day 6 - Eddie vs. Rey Mysterio... 'Nuff Said |
| CALDWELL'S MEDIA CLUB: Eddie Guerrero DVD review Day 5 - Eddie vs. Chris Jericho; the day no one cared |
| CALDWELL'S MEDIA CLUB: Eddie Guerrero DVD review Day 4 - Eddie vs. Ric Flair; the importance of the U.S. Title |
|
| RADICAN'S TAKE |
| TALES FROM THE PULPIT 11/18: Too small to be big and too big to be small: ROH's fight to get the buzz back (pt. 1) |
| RADICAN: Last Call with Raven & Sandman dissapoints despite fantastic production and high expectations |
| TALES FROM THE PULPIT 11/13: Why should you buy ROH's "Driven" PPV when it debuts tomorrow? (spoilers) |
|
| The Specialists |
| 11/18 WWE ECW Hits & Misses: Miz & Morrison, All American Challenge, 6 Man Tag |
| PARKS: The Mike Adamle Experiment - How much blame for his failure is on his shoulders? |
| UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 11/17 Raw: Clearance sale for Released Wrestlers merch, Relationship Building with Punk & Kofi, Batista vs. Ref |
|
| Guest Editorials |
| EDITORIAL: Career vs. Career - The Undertaker vs. John Cena at WrestleMania 25 |
| EDITORIAL: A plan for a dramatic make-over of WWE through massive downscaling of TV, PPVs, roster size, titles |
| EDITORIAL: Vetter examines problems with ROH product |
|
| Torch Feedback |
| ECW on Sci-Fi Reax #1: "I was waiting for someone to take a shot at Swagger's lisp, but Ricky Ortiz?" |
| WWE Raw Reax #4: "Manu came away from his match with Batista stronger than when he walked in." |
| WWE Raw Reax #3: "...Easily the coolest moment on the show besides Santino's rap." |
|
| Ask the Editor |
| Ask the Editor: Wouldn't incorporating MMA-style holds into pro wrestling matches just be trying to be something it's not? |
| ASK THE EDITOR: Have the Michaels-Batista promos crossed a line with use of insider terms, references to "jobs"? |
| ASK THE EDITOR: Why do wrestlers in WWE refer to wrestling as "the business" and not "the sport"? |
|
| DVDs - VGames - Books |
| RADICAN: Last Call with Raven & Sandman dissapoints despite fantastic production and high expectations |
| RADICAN: Hey! The Claudio Castagnoli delivers one of the best independent releases of the year |
| DVD REVIEW by Brian Hoops: Magnum T.A. and Nikita Koloff reflections |
|
| Torch Flashbacks |
| WWE News Flashback: Mike Adamle the new G.M. of Raw: Controversial announcer shifted off of ECW announcing duties |
| RADICAN'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (11-13-03): Benoit & John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar & Big Show, Vince McMahon rubs his temples, Kurt Angle |
| KELLER'S NWA-TNA PPV REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (11-12-03): Sting & A.J. Styles together vs. Lex Luger & Jeff Jarrett, Raven & The Sandman team, X Division Gauntlet |
|
| VIP Exclusive Features |
| 11/19 Daily Keller Hotline: A specific proposal to overhaul the look and feel of WWE utilizing current talent in a new way (16 min.) |
| ECW ON SCI-FI ROUNDTABLE REVIEWS 11/18: Mayer, Mezzera, Parks rate and review |
| PWTorch Newsletter #1054 (19 Pages!): Your weekly megadose of news, analysis, columns, TV reports, more |
|
| Torch Trivia |
| Torch Trivia: How much do you know about Curt Hennig? - Part Two |
| Torch Trivia: How much do you know about Curt Hennig? - Part One |
| Torch Trivia: How much do you know about Champion vs. Champion matches? |
|
| Torch Instant Polls |
| Who was the MVP of the Nov. 17 Raw if you saw the show? |
| Rate the 11/17 WWE Raw on a 0-10 scale if you saw the event |
| POLL: What's your prediction for the Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Couture fight? |
|
| PWTorch Free Podcast |
| 11/19 East Coast Audio: ECW - Miz & Morrison continue to shine, A guy debuted, Swagger punished (8 min. clip) |
| 11/17 WWE Raw post-game Show: Caldwell and Parks discuss final hype for Survivor Series, John Cena's lack of presence, beards-a-plenty (7 min. clip) |
| 11/17 VIP East Coast Audio: Smackdown - Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin, Intense debate on Jeff Hardy's character change (7 min. clip) |
|
| Annual Obituaries |
| SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 1999 - Muchnick, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Renegade... |
| SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2000 - Solie, Albright, Duncum, Tsuruta, Blue Demon, Al Costello |
| SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2001: Johnny Valentine, Terry Gordy, Chris Adams, Bertha Faye, Helen Hart |
|
|
|
