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LOGIC CHECK - 8/19 ECW: Keeping tabs on what made sense, what tested suspension of disbelief, and what was just ridiculous Aug 20, 2008 - 9:30:00 PM
Welcome, Torch readers, to the latest installment of the Logic Check, your one-stop shop for all things rational. Today we take a look at the 8/19 edition of ECW to see how the red-headed step child of WWE fares after the Monday Night Headache from Chicago...
Everyone's Favorite Idiot...
Matt Hardy's first ECW title opportunity, last Sunday at Summerslam, was ruined by the interference of Mark Henry's luggage carrier, Tony Atlas. So when Hardy was granted a rematch on Tuesday's ECW, the first thing he did was call his brother Jeff and ask him to back Matt up to offset Tony Atlas. Actually, he didn't. Matt Hardy decided to show up, alone, to wrestle Mark Henry, and unbelievable as it might sound, Atlas interfered and cost Hardy the ECW title.
Thoughts: In my last LC-ECW, I called Matt Hardy the latest graduate from Steve Borden's Moron Babyface Academy. I take that back because I doubt he even graduated. Apparently, Hardy thought that Atlas was just going to stand outside the ring and lead cheers. Because, you know, Atlas is such an honorable man. Anyway, to the shock of only one person, Atlas interfered in the exact same fashion he did at Summerslam and cost Matt Hardy the ECW title, again. Why didn't Matt come out with his brother Jeff or Evan Bourne or Ricky Ortiz or even the fricking Zombie? Where was his back-up? Why exactly would he expect this match to turn out any other way than it did since he has no one to offset Atlas presence? While it was nice to mention that Long had ordered the rematch, why did no one ask why he didn't ban Tony Atlas from ringside? Both men are performing well in their roles so it's too bad they are being saddled with this meandering style of booking.
The School of Hard Knox...
Finlay, and his leprechaun, decided to offer Mike Knox the chance to come out and prove that Finlay is "soft". Knox berserked his way onto the ramp and explained that fighting Finlay now would only prove his point that Finlay was soft. After making such a logical conclusion, Knox went 2 for 2 when he claimed that the man asking him to come to the ring to fight was actually scared of him. Finlay, tired of this pointless posturing, jumped out of the ring and attacked Knox, leading to a decent pull-apart brawl between the two of them.
Thoughts: Can we just get these two in the ring aleady? This feud is moving forward with all the speed of a snail covered in molasses. I'm all for cowardly heels but not when the heel, in question, is so much bigger than his rival because it looks stupid to have this giant of a man afraid to get into the ring with Finlay, who can't even look Knox square in the eye, and his midget. Seriously, if Knox is that much of a coward then why is he wrestling? I realize that he is supposed to be doing it out of respect for Finlay's reputation as a brawler but hasn't he spent the last two weeks, telling us how much he doesn't respect Finlay? And this whole "I'll fight you on my terms" bit is just ridiculous because the G.M. is the one who dictates the terms, not Knox.
The Bourne Identity(or lack thereof)...
Evan Bourne continues to be the most exciting wrestler in the WWE, be it the way he effortlessly flies around the ring, his lightning quick offense or just his overall crispness in the almost everything he does. Only problem is we still don't know that much about him, aside from a couple of meaningless two sentence promos, he really hasn't even been given a chance to speak. While he wasn't really the best talker in ROH or WSX, there's no reason why creative can't write some backstage vignettes to further illustrate his personality.
Thoughts: This actually leads into the biggest problem that I have with this "New Talent Initiative": They have yet to reveal why we should care about any of these wrestlers. And this picture in picture promo stuff just isn't going to fly. How does someone get over when all they get is a sentence or two to try and expose their personalities? Where are the video packages heralding their arrival? Where is the build-up for their debuts? It's not like they can't put together videos of these wrestlers because where do all these wrestlers come from? They have video cameras in OVW (well, had) and FSW, right? The thought of WWE creative sitting around and wondering why new talent doesn't get over just amuses the Dr. Pepper right out of me.
Logistical Ruminations:
- Teddy Long was MIA tonight which continues the strange tradition of WWE general managers not seeming to care about their product or their wrestlers. Whether it's Mike Adamle putting John Cena in a handicap match for no reason a day removed from his "epic battle" with Batista, Vicki Guerrero ignoring Smackdown to cower in her office or Long not even showing his face on camera, it just goes back to what I've said before. If these people don't care, then why should we?
- We have a Super Crazy sighting. I just don't get how, with such a thin roster on ECW, creative can't come up with something for the Extreme Luchador to do.
- The Miz needs a new finisher. First of all, if he doesn't hit it smoothly, it looks like crap. Second of all, it's a knee to the face followed by a neckbreaker. Third, and most importantly, it's a knee to the face followed by a neckbreaker that I'm pretty sure my grandmother would kick out of. Thankfully, he's changed the name from the Mizard of Oz because that was just inane.
- So Chavo shows up for ECW but not for last week's Smackdown. Nice to see family is so important to him.
- What dunce came up with the name Gavin? He's not fronting a crappy grunge rip-off band; he's a professional wrestler.
- Bam Neely has it made. He collects one paycheck from the WWE and one from Chavo, apparently.
- What sense does it make to have your one constant source of authority, the referee, look like an idiot? I like how they tried to cover it with the "Henry is so big the ref couldn't see" which is hilarious in that they want us to believe that the ref didn't see Atlas pull Hardy out but didn't the ref wonder why Hardy was no longer covering the champion? Or why Matt was all of the sudden on the outside of the ring, chasing Atlas?
The Judgement...
This show was bad, not as bad as Raw, but still not a very good effort from creative. Most of the storylines and angles are in the exact same place as they were last week which seems like a waste of an hour of wrestling to me. That's disappointing because ECW is usually the show I enjoy the most out of the four we are given every week. Hopefully, they have some twists and turns planned for next week. Yeah, I don't buy it either.
Score: 4.0
That's it for this edition of the Logic Check. After the last two nights of head-scratchingly bad WWE TV, I'm almost scared of what's going to happen when I let Jeff Jarrett and Vince Russo into my living room tomorrow night. As always though, Torch reader, I do it for you.
Got a difference of opinion? Wanna make a suggestion? Drop me a line at adunn.torch@gmail.com.
ABOUT ME
I am a wrestling fan of twenty years, I reside in Dallas, TX and I think it's time we put a wrestler in the White House. Preferably Doink the Clown.
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