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The Specialists
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 9/1 RAW: What I noticed that you might have missed Sep 1, 2008 - 10:40:55 PM
Tonight we salute all of the hard working people of this great country. The plumbers, the accountants, the sanitation workers. So, to T.L. Hopper, Irwin R. Schyster and Duke "The Dumpster" Droese, Happy Labor Day! Let's take a closer look at Raw as we go "Under The Microscope".
We're off to a great start!
It may have just been a local problem, but after the tribute graphic to "Killer" Kowalski, the broadcast didn't go into the usual Raw open, but into a Bowflex commercial. I wasn't in the meeting, but I can't imagine that was how it was planned.
Yes, but at least you're THE BEST of the worst
When Randy Orton called out Santino Marella as "the weakest Intercontinental Champ in the history of the WWE" he certainly made his point, but if you look closer, he overlooked guys like Dean Douglas, Albert and Test.
A chip off the old ouch
I couldn't have been more pleased to see Randy Orton in the middle of the ring with a sling. I can only hope he keeps it for the rest of his run in the WWE. For those new to the WWE experience, Randy's father, Cowboy Bob Orton was notorious for wearing a cast on his forearm and frequently used it as his weapon of choice.
Stock up/Stock down
As JBL walks to the ring, several "stocks" scroll by under his video entrance. Among the companies that are doing well, PYRO is up and so is JBL. BSHO is also doing well, which should mean good things for "Big Show". For the record, GFX and TRI are down, at least according to his numbers. Sell, sell, sell.
Come for the clotheslines, stay for the brimstone
"I've been to hell and I didn't see your clothesline anywhere." It's always in the last place you look. Great line from Kane, although I'm not sure if I like my Big Red Monsters to be that witty.
The sincerest form of flattery
We will link Charlie Haas, Kane, Mark Henry and D-Lo Brown this week. All four were on the show and all have played a part in on-air imitations. Charlie added John Cena to his Carlito imitation of last week. Kane helped with the fake Diesel fiasco several years ago. Although Henry and D-Lo didn't actually perform the imitation, both were mocked by D-X as the Road Dogg portrayed D-Lo and Six-pac/X-pac put on the big suit as Mizark Henry in a skit also featuring Billy Gunn and HHH poking fun at the Nation of Domination. Of course, that's only if you truly smelled what The Rock was cooking at the time.
Santino, this is Mr. Pitt
Microscope sign of the week: Glamarella > Brangelina. WWE fans know Glamazon + Marella = Glamarell. Perhaps you don't know that Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = Brangelina. For bonus points, we have a Jon Voight sighting during the video of the WWE at the Republican National Convention. Why do we give bonus points for this? Jon Voight is Jolie's father. He's also the reason George Constanza purchased a certain car, but that's a different story.
I'm cool, I'm cocky, I'm bad
I'm looking forward to the pursuit of greatness known as the "Honk-a-meter". For the record, the Honky Tonk Man just beats out Pedro Morales as the longest Intercontinental champ by 29 days.
Mr. Punk, would you like a coaster?
If you're scoring at home, C.M. Punk tossed water at Randy Orton and alcohol at JBL. If he offers you a drink, make sure he puts it down first.
Unforgiven, unsanctioned and unavailable
The microscope will probably lead to an x-ray for Shawn Michaels. When he lunges over Lance Cade and goes for Chris Jericho, he clearly lands badly on his arm. It's amazing when you look at the high-flying, death-defying stunts that the WWE performers execute flawlessly, yet simply reaching for someone can cause so much damage to the card at Unforgiven and, of course, the health of Michaels. It will be very interesting to see what the WWE writers can salvage out of the best feud of 2008. www.pwtorch.com will have updates throughout the week and I will be back here next Monday for a closer look at the post-ppv Raw.
Lee Stevens looks closely, but he certainly doesn't know everything. Tonight he was confused by Axe Body Spray sponsoring Raw. If Axe can sponsor a segment, certainly Smash and Crush could pick up the tab for a portion of the show. You can e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com.
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