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By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

RAW
September 1, 2008

Randy Orton, The Protector Of Raw

WWE are very big into hometowns. Kind of surprising that Randy Orton came out and basically tell the sad story that Raw is not so good these days. All of the champions (except for C.M. Punk) suck? Yeah, they kind of do. I think you might see your Wrestlemania match with Punk and Orton. I especially loved the use of Orton with the tag team champs of Dibase-Rhodes. They got some much needed love, but still no place in the PPV lineup during the video bits. We do not want to hype them up that much. I am interested to see how much time their tag team match gets at the PPV. It has been quite awhile since I have been looking forward to a tag team match at a WWE PPV.

The Dilemma Of Shawn Michael's Injury

The HBK-Y2J video package was cheesier than a bag of cheesy poofs. I did like what they did with the contract signing, treating it as a professional deal. It was realistic that WWE would not want to get sued by more wrestlers. WWE also got to hype up the brutality of the match. Michaels had one of those freak occurrences where he injured his arm. Which brings me to my question: if you ran WWE, what would you do? If HBK was subject to further injury if he was to wrestle on the PPV, would you have him wrestle or would you pull him out? Obviously this match is the safest bet for all of WWE fans. Would you continue to hype up that Michaels would appear when you knew that he was not cleared to wrestle? Should wrestling companies be honest with fans concerning situations like these? Or is getting PPV buys (after all, this is a business) more important than what the fans think?

I love this feud and have enjoyed riding along with it, but I am of the opinion that no feud or angle is more important than the health of the wrestler. While it is true that fans would be angry that the match would not take place, they would get over it. If you check out WWE.com, they have done a nice job of letting fans know that Michaels is medically cleared to wrestle (of course, that might just be their spin on the story). Of course, there is nothing stopping WWE for creating a skit where HBK gets run over before the match by Rikishi or something and not have him wrestle at all. That is why wrestlers are tougher than football players. People say that they will sacrifice their bodies for the Super Bowl, but would they sacrifice their bodies for a match?

The Clint Eastwood Example For Batista & Joe

Here is an exclusive look in our loner, pissed off badasses in WWE and TNA:

Batista: "My gameplan? Destroy everyone."

Joe: "I am such an angry bad ass. I am the world champion, and you know Tenay, to be the top dog in this business you have to take on all challengers. Did I stutter? I should be making people tap and laying down the muscle buster. But instead I am placed in this Mentor Nash angle and I am screaming at the rafters at somebody who just punked me out. The more I keep talking, the more it will get me over. Because that is how all world champions do it. Do I need to repeat myself? Do I?"

Batista says four words the entire show and is more of a badass than Joe is. There are some wrestlers you figure you can take on. Joe is not one of those people. His moves in the ring look painful, and he is the last guy I would want to be in the ring with. So I do not know why TNA figures that the more they have Joe sing the same song the more it will get him over. Even Clint Eastwood once confessed that he was much better at squinting than speaking lines.

Raw Sure Loves Them Some Quick Matches

What I liked about Raw is that all of the promos from everyone had a purpose in hyping or teasing something. The matches of Raw were not so great. Probably the shortest battle royal matches you would ever see. The ECW Battle Royal was pointless, and Unforgiven looks less appeasing every moment. Hey, there is an 80% chance I will not be buying what you are selling. Mid-card? Lower-card? Raw even had to get some ECW help. Could of had something with Regal and Noble (Liked the fact that the announcers forgot that Regal kicked Noble's ass in 4 minutes). This could at least been a PPV match, but given the Raw treatment, more focus will be put on the main event. This show was sort of a train wreck. This is what happens when you let every division but the main event go to hell. Seems fans are always waiting for them to rebuild the rest of the show.

A Robot Can Give More Emotion Than Mike Adalme

You have to wonder what sort of dirt Adalme has on WWE. Does he have incriminating photos? It is September and this no talent hack still has a job in WWE. Is Adalme a robot? Because I do not think that general managers of wrestling shows should be drab. Even Tiffany looks to be more in place in the wrestling world than Adalme. Of course, Kane barges in to save the day. No, I wanted some more Adalme Awkardness. Nothing personal with Adalme, but he just does not belong there. Has WWE been watching this show? There has been not one iota of improvement from Adalme at all. Fast forwarding to the bit where WWE gets all political (I still remember the Obama vs. Hilliary match) and there is Mr. Kennedy, who looks to be very depressed and angry at the same time. I can only dream that one day perhaps Mr. Kennedy will be general manager of Raw, but it looks like WWE is committed to the contract of Adalme.

Don't Hassle The Haas

I berated Charlito last week because it was lame. Charlie Haas being a copycat of John Cena was good. People must have been laughing backstage when the music hit. I would love it if The Haas were to copy Randy Orton next time. I would watch it if he could copy the promo style of each wrestler. An inside joke. Face it; all of these introductions of wrestlers have a tinge of absurdity to them. Major kudos if The Haas became Triple C and mimicked Triple H. Raw is certainly not concerned with the mid-card, so might as well have an entertaining jobber.

The Suck-O-Meter For Santino

When Santino came in as a bland babyface, people cheered when Umaga kicked his ass. For some odd reason they changed his hometown to New Jersey awhile back (now it is Italy). Now Santino comes out with his HONK-A-METER and I do not know what to think. Santino is obviously a clown in the ring. It is not his style to win in a heelish manner, so what happens is D'lo Brown misses a frog splash and Santino picks up a fluke win. Mr. Brown must suck. A lot. I have no idea why the belt is on Santino. I enjoy his comedy matches, but every week he has the title the more he will degrade the belt. Can you name any IC contenders on Raw? Kofi Kingston. Jamie Noble. William Regal. That is about it. Nobody wants to see Santino matches where Santino wins by the mistakes of the other opponents. Not only does the opponent look incredibly weak, but what is the big deal of being IC champion if you never defend it? Is not holding the IC title supposed to be a stepping stone to becoming world champion? There is a bad feeling that WWE will have Santino continue on this streak and fans will start to turn on him (and not in a good way) because IC champions cannot solely do comedy matches. Maybe Honky can stop by and bring his guitar.

Knockout Division It Is Not

Ok. This is what viewers saw on Raw in that 6 diva tag team match. We had a bad singer, a british snob, a glamazon, a cheerleader, a exhibitionist, and a porn star. No wonder why I changed the channel. Although they keep trying to build up a feud with Beth Phoenix but wrestlers got injured (Melina, Candice), it is still a joke. I do like what they have done with Beth Phoenix, but I get the feeling that the people over at Raw feel that as long as the ratings are good with these segments, why bother fixing something that is boring and not very good.

RAW'S FINAL VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Very good use of Orton and the tag team champs. Short showcase matches, Adalme, IC champion Santino and the fact that Rey "Massacred" Mysterio showed up with all of his limbs intact were not so good. Unforgiven looks to be an unsure purchase for fans.

ECW
September 2, 2008

Super Crazy Gets A TV Win!

Yes!

Mark Henry Is A Effective Champion And How Good Will Is Sometimes Better Than Buildup For PPV

I do not think Mark Henry has looked better. Henry sold Matt Hardy's Twist of Fate well. What I liked about the main event is that all everyone involved looked to be really into it. The shooting star press by Evan Bourne was big, and Tommy Dreamer doing a frog splash was big as well. I watched this sequence again because I enjoyed it very much. Everyone came out the winner in this match, but Evan Bourne and Mark Henry got over huge for me. Some fans will complain that this match did not really help hype the PPV, but at this point fans have already gotten enough hype for Unforgiven. What WWE needed to deliver right here was some good will, and every wrestler in this main event did a great job.

ECW'S FINAL VERDICT: A Little Absurd

I loved the main event. Not sure why Gavin Spears has to sell everything on oversell mode. Nor how much those Ortiz towels can be a big deal. Did I mention that John Morrison is my hero? The Dirt Sheet is perhaps the edgiest WWE will get nowadays. At least JoMo and the Miz went full blast into playing stupid idiots.

LEAVING YOU WITH MY ABSURD THOUGHT: My draft picks? Do not know. Sure, it is important to have star wrestlers, but I think at the end of the day how they are presented is key. You can have all of the star talent in the world but if you do not know how to use them, they will soon become duds. My favorite wrestler of all time was Jake "The Snake" Roberts, because I could actually believe in him (not so much with the Ultimate Warrior). So what is your opinion? Would you rather have star wrestlers but a weak crew of writers and announcers? Or would you rather have a core of standard guys but have an excellent crew of writers and announcers? What is more important to keep your wrestling company afloat?

"The Absurdity of it All" will appear every Wednesday and Saturday. Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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