ECW: September 09, 2008

Matt Hardy Reigns Supreme In ECW

Did anyone watch that opening video package? I do not know why video directors think that "quality" equals "have camera shake a lot and lots of flashing lights". There is a reason why I did not go to see the movie Cloverfield, because I frankly did not want to throw up over my nice shoes. Speaking about nice I wish that the announcers could have been at least more honest. I know that they are WWE announcers and they are not going to bash their own product, but the scramble matches were not the most entertaining and best match fans have seen ever. Big ups for Tony Atlas and his cutoff dress shirts. Did I hear Todd Grisham tell fans that Mike Knox was in the scramble match at the PPV? Hopefully that was just a mistake. Cannot say I really paid much attention during the main event. ECW will probably have a weight lifting contest between Matt Hardy and Mark Henry next week. Or another arm wrestling contest. Oh, the drama!

The WWE Chinlock And How Painful It Is For Fans

Evan Bourne once again hits that hurricana outside and the crowd pops. For fans of Lucha Libre, cruiserweights, or even the X division this sort of move is not unique, but the WWE audience is craving something new.

I understand that John Morrison is not the one to deliver the most offense. To hype up Bourne, JoMo is going to do a lot of holds to make the crowd hate him. I love submission holds in wrestling and frankly think there should be more. However there are submission holds and then there is the "WWE Chinlock". The type of submission that nobody ever submits to or ever will. The type of submission hold that looks more relaxing than painful. The type that has both wrestlers facing the hard camera, their faces etched in "riveting" pain. The crowd claps and the face comes back. Pretty standard stuff. The problem I felt with JoMo is that he did about 7 of these WWE chinlocks in a short span. Not only was it going to the well too often, but I lost all connection with the match. I stopped believing that JoMo was trying to win and groaned when yet another WWE chinlock was slapped on.

In these type of situations I would have like to seen JoMo have more offense. Suplex, Miz involvement, anything. And if you say that doing a lot of holds reduces the risk of injury, I disagree with that when Evan Bourne damn near breaks his neck at the end of the match. It was a stupid move. Sometimes you look back at these things and you wonder how exactly the wrestler was supposed to land safely. You can chalk that up to the effects of adrenaline clouding good judgment or maybe just being careless. I like to be entertained but it does nobody any good if a wrestler does a stupid move and gets themselves injured. It is like when a quarterback on the run tries to take on a defender instead of sliding.

So there is something to build here. I like what Morrison can do in the ring and obviously Bourne is a hot ticket. I would like to see more of an actual contest between these two, because I think with more finesse and planning put into their matches WWE can have a fast-paced match that they are often not known for nowadays. Will WWE love JoMo once again?

The Name Jack Slater Was Already Taken

Ok. We need a name for this guy coming in. Something that signifies that he is cocky (hint: a good portion of new guys are given the label "cocky"), tough, and rugged. Max Power? John McClane? Jack Bauer? John Kruger? Nacho Man? How about Jack Swagger? Sure, whatever. Jack Swagger looks to be a mini-Brock Lesnar. Not quite as buff, but just as easy to hate. He already has that piss-poor attitude and the knack for getting the crowd to boo him no matter what he does. Did like the Gut wrench Suplex he did. He sort of reminded me of Biff, the heel from the Back To The Future movies: "now make like a tree and get out of here". How about a heel who says dumb quotes but think they are witty? Or does every young heel have to be an "angry loner"? At least fans in the audience have a easy term to call Jack Swagger every time he comes out. He is the swaggiest wrestler of all time.

ECW'S FINAL VERIDCT: Very Absurd

Meh. Not a whole lot going on tonight. Standard opening, decent match, heel squash, and generic main event. ECW is once again given the task of making Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry interesting again. JoMo and Evan Bourne do their thing, even though it was a slight preview of what they could do given more planning. Mike "Snugglebunny" Knox looks odd. He has got that crazy beard and whatnot, but he looks more scared that pissed off. Mr. Swagger vs. Ricky Ortiz next week?

LEAVING YOU WITH MY ABSURD THOUGHT: Well, the reviews are in for TNA's wrestling videogame, and the general consensus is that it has great things to build on (graphics, fighting system) but is lacking in many features and feels shallow. Repeated moves, lack of features, and the sense that once you played through story mode, you have seen everything that there is in the game. If they decide to make a sequel it would be something for fans to be interested in since there are some tangible things in the game. However this game is not worth $60. It is worth a rental. Check out www.ign.com for their review of the game for your respective system.

Meanwhile, I wrote an editorial a few months back criticizing THQ for getting sloppy with their Smackdown vs. Raw series. Early impressions of the latest game look very promising. The revamped tag team match does not look to be anything special, but compare this to the awful tag team match in TNA's Impact videogame and it could be something. I first thought that the create-a-finisher mode would be clunky and something of a tack-on, but early previews of the mode actually look good. The commentary has been revamped (even though Jonathan Coachman is on it) so that it makes more sparse but significant points instead of going on rants like in previous titles. The story mode has six specific and unique storylines ranging from Triple H, John Cena, Undertaker, C.M. Punk, Chris Jericho, and the tag team of Batista and Rey Mysterio. Not only does this add depth to the game as fans will be tempted to try all of the storylines, but you could play as Triple H and defeat all the members of ECW all by yourself. Hold down other wrestlers. Get hit with a thousand steel chair shots and receive no damage. Do promos that make people want to throw up. Oh yeah. Although some models so far look the same as previous titles (HBK, Mark Henry have not changed) and the sound effects are still not quite to my liking, SvR 2009 looks to be more deeper and fuller. I am hearing people saying that they will buy TNA's Impact because they want to need to cure their wrestling videogame fix or that they want to support TNA and Midway for the sequel, but this is foolish.

My email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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