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KELLER'S TNA PPV REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (9-17-03): Roddy Piper, Raven vs. Douglas in hair match, Styles vs. Lynn,

Sep 18, 2008 - 12:36:13 PM


By Wade Keller, Torch editor

NWA-TNA PPV
SEPTEMBER 17, 2003
LIVE FROM NASHVILLE, TENN.


-Jeremy Borash voiced over a video package previewing the four-way tag team no. 1 contender's match.

-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show.

1 -- B.G. JAMES & RON KILLINGS vs. AMERICA'S MOST WANTED vs. SIN & SLASH (w/"Father" James Mitchell) vs. KID KASH & ABYSS.

Konnan joined Tenay and West on commentary. Tenay asked Konnan about the SAP option now available for TNA viewers. Armando Contero was doing commentary alone during this match, but for the rest Konnan would be joining him. At 5:30 Kash slapped Abyss when Abyss was getting beat up, trying to encourage him to wake up and start fighting back. It worked. Abyss began cleaning house on everyone. At 7:00 Kash set up an underhook suplex on Killings, but Terry Taylor ran out and gave Kash a low blow from behind (a follow up Kash slapping him during interviews in recent weeks). Killings then gave Kash his finisher for the win.

WINNERS: James & Killings at 7:20 to earn a tag title shot.

STAR RATING: * -- Like most matches with this many wrestlers, it was a series of moves between two wrestlers, then a near fall ending with a save by someone else, then another wrestler or wrestlers in the ring to wrestle for a minute before the same thing was repeated. Not bad, but not exactly a gripping emotional storyline within the match.

-Tenay and West discussed the rest of the show.

-Roddy Piper came out. Tenay said they weren't expecting him at this time, but that's typical of the unpredictable Piper. Tenay said Piper left TNA and went to WWE, but they turned their backs on him, "so now he's back home in the NWA... NWA-TNA. In classic Piper, he said he is as real as it gets and then cited his artificial hip as proof. He said people think he's crazy and asked the crowd if they've heard any good Roddy Piper jokes. He said he says what he wants to say and that gets him into trouble sometimes. Piper said he saw the thing on the internet like everyone. He said one of his son's friends brought it up (that's what they always say; it's always the son's friend, not the actual wrestler, who spots the controversial content because it plays on sympathy and doesn't make it seem like they're obsessing about their own press coverage). He said he made WrestleMania, then said someone "dumb shit promoter" had to put that garbage out there. He said he is back to ride a rocket ship that is about to take off. I seriously have no idea what he's talking about. Piper admitted to begin a drug user on HBO, it wasn't a report on the "internet" (because everyone knows all internet reporting is all the same, done by the same group of ten 14 year olds). I couldn't really follow him at all. Vince Russo interrupted, thankfully (I can't believe I wrote that). Russo said Piper ripped his heart out last time they went face-to-face by talking about something he knew nothing about, "And you know damn well what I'm talking about." Russo added, "You are here tonight because you burned every bridge and nobody wants you." Does Russo even think about what he says? He just described TNA as the bottom of the barrel, a place people go only when all options are exhausted. Seriously, that was just dumb. Russo then snuck in some swearing, which made his promo seem "really really real." Russo said he wishes Piper wasn't there. He said TNA has a decision to make: "It's either you or me that's gonna stay here." This is absolutely terrible. First Piper talks in circles and jumps all over, then Russo comes out and talks about something that few people have a clue about (I don't remember what he's talking about). Russo asked Piper if he really cares about anybody in the back, "or is it all about Roddy Piper. Is this another selfish act?" If you didn't understand English, that would have seemed like a good segment because Piper is charismatic and Russo is passionate, but if you listen to what was said, the only thing that was clear is that NWA-TNA is a place where people go who have burned all bridges and Russo is upset at Piper for some unspecified personal reason and wants him out.

-A video package aired on D-Lo Brown and Sonny Siaki.

2 -- D-LO BROWN Vs. SONNY SIAKI - Casket Match

D-Lo hit Siaki with a poor frog splash off the top rope while Siaki was lying on the casket. The former Jamal from 3 Minute Warning ran in and attacked D-Lo. Tenay said he is the nephew of the original Wild Samoans, Afa and Sika. He nailed D-Lo with a top rope splash. Jamal threw D-Lo into the casket and Siaki closed the lid to win.

WINNER: D-Lo Brown at 5:25.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not much to it.

-Backstage Scott Hudson tried to get Don Callis to address the Russo-Piper situation Callis was on a cell phone screaming, then hung up and said if he had his way, Jerry Lynn wouldn't get a title match later. Then when he addressed Russo-Piper, Erik Watts immediately interrupted. He told Callis he has "all the power." He reached in his jacket to pull out papers that would prove it, then pulled his hand out with the middle finger raised. Ha ha ha. Hudson said, "That reads like a cheap novel." Russo walked in and yapped for about five seconds, then all three left. Ugh. At least Watts didn't talk like he was on drugs this week in that rapid-fire cocky nonsense mode.

3 -- NOSAWA & CHRIS SABIN & MICHAEL SHANE vs. "SHOWTIME" ERIC YOUNG & FRANKIE "THE FUTURE" KAZARIAN & JUVENTUD GUERERRA

Tenay said wrestling journalists and fans are still raving about the X Tournament two weeks ago. Several dives to ringside in this match, including Sabin springboarding off the top rope onto all five others at ringside. As Sabin stomped the mat HBK style to set up his superkick, Juvi yanked him the ankle out of the ring. Sabin entered the ring and hit Young with the X belt and then Shane snuck in and scored the pin. Kazarian was shown chatting it up with a woman in the front row, not caring about his team losing.

WINNERS: Sabin & Nosawa & Shane at 9:07.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Some neat highspots, but basically a half-sloppy spotfest most of the time.

-A backstage Christopher Daniels segment aired with three monk-like followers holding candles saying he is their light.

-Jeff Jarrett walked to the ring to his music. He said the show is Nonstop Total Action, so he's going to make three quick points. He said he wants his NWA Title rematch. He told TNA officials they had a big choice to make between Russo and Piper; he said it's a no brainer because Piper cares about this business and Russo doesn't. He concluded by telling Daniels that he's the hunter and Daniels is the hunted.

-Hudson interviewed Mad Mikey, who yelled as his tag partner Shark Boy for playing with a remove control blow up robot doll. He destroyed the doll and bashed the remote against the wall, then dragged Shark Boy by his mask toward the ring.

4 -- SIMON DIAMOND & JOHNNY SWINGER (w/Glenn Gilberti) vs. SHARK BOY & MAD MIKEY

Mikey in his promo said this was their chance to win the tag titles. I don't get it when they tag four legit contending teams and make them fight to earn a title shot, and then just give away a title shot to a new team that hasn't beat anyone just out of the blue. It discredits the internal logic and makes a mockery of no. 1 contender's matches. It's like having the AFC and NFC Championship games, but then having a football team out of the blue who didn't even make the playoffs step in a play in the Superbowl instead of one of the conference champions. Mikey had a cool t-shirt, a take off on the FedEx logo that said "FedUp." Tenay referred to Norman Smiley as Shark Boy's "former partner." They put an inset box on the bottom corner of the screen showing Jarrett on the hunt for Daniels as Hudson talked to him.

WINNERS: Diamond & Swinger at 3:00.

STAR RATING: *

[END OF FIRST HOUR]

-They went backstage where Jarrett was brawling with Daniels's minions. Jarrett threw one of his minions over the railing onto a table below.

-A vignette aired on A.J. Styles and Jerry Lynn. Lynn said over the past year he's seen Styles go from a young man to a little boy. Lynn bragged about pinning Styles several times. Styles bragged that he's won the NWA Title belt, Lynn hasn't, and he's never going to let Lynn win it. Lynn said it was his first NWA World Hvt. Title shot. "I may have taught you a lot of things, but I haven't shown you everything," concluded Lynn.

5 -- A.J. STYLES (w/Vince Russo) vs. JERRY LYNN - NWA World Hvt. Title match

Russo didn't accompany Styles to the ring. Styles looks so much more like a world champion when he doesn't stand next to Russo, who towers over him. West pointed out it's been almost a year since these two have faced off. Tenay pointed out it was Nov. 27 and Lynn pinned Styles that night. At ringside, Lynn whipped Styles into the ringside barrier. Styles slid under the barrier to the other side, something I don't recall seeing before. He then leaped off the barrier onto Lynn. Styles came back with a catapult of Lynn into the ringside stairs. Lynn came up bleeding heavily. Lynn hit a cradle piledriver at 8:00 for a near fall, but Styles put his foot on the bottom rope. Trinity also yanked the ref out of the ring as he counted. Styles got up and was going to hit Lynn with a chair, but Lynn kicked him. Styles low-blowed Lynn and then dropped him on the chair head-first. He went for the cover, the ref returned to the ring, and and he scored a near fall. Styles then hit the Styles Clash on the bloodied Lynn for the win.

WINNER: Styles at 9:03 to retain the title.

STAR RATING: *** -- Good under-ten-minute-match.

-Russo came out, said "The moment of the truth has come." Then he realized he forgot about something - the freakin' title match that his man just won against his top rival over the past 18 months. So he stopped himself and briefly said congratulations to Styles, then immediately went back to his original point, which was asking for a decision about his situation with Piper. Dusty Rhodes came out. He said he it's not the decision of TNA whether he stays or not. Dusty tried to talk Styles into dropping Russo. It seemed it worked because Styles handed Dusty a bat to use against Russo. However, when Dusty turned to Russo, Styles hit Dusty from behind. Styles had Dusty down. Piper came out, but red shirted security stopped Piper and dragged him to the back.

-Vignettes aired hyping the Raven vs. Douglas main event. Then a brief Douglas promo aired.

6 -- RAVEN vs. SHANE DOUGLAS (w/Jim Mitchell) in a hair vs. hair match.

Tenay yelled, "Tonight somebody is getting their head shaved bald!" Tenay said the purpose of hair matches are to settle a blood feud and humiliate the opponent. They began with a staredown. Tenay reminisced about Destroyer beating Gorgeous George to shave George's head in the early '60s in one of George's final matches. He said he saw Konnan beat Jake Roberts in Tijuana, Mexico and shaving his head. Tenay said he was just told Don Callis challenged Jarrett to a one-on-one showdown. They began slow in the ring, and by 3:00 Raven was beating up Douglas at ringside. He threw Douglas into the crowd and they brawled among fans. Raven handed a chair to a fan and rammed Douglas into it. He did the same with another fan. Douglas made his comeback and experienced the infamous "silent heat." At 7:00 Raven threw Douglas into the ringside security railing, then into the stairs. Douglas came back again, ramming Raven into the ringside stairs at 8:45. Both Raven and Douglas were bleeding from the forehead at this point. They actually returned to the ring at 9:30 with Douglas on offense. Douglas applied an abdominal stretch. Raven quickly escaped and applied a cobra clutch. Douglas immediately elbowed out and applied another ab-stretch. Raven hiptossed out of it right away. Douglas went for another ab-stretch, but Raven reversed it. Douglas then flung Raven over the top rope to the floor. Douglas threw up in the ring at 11:15 (just liquid). Raven covered him for a two count. Ick! Raven went to ringside and grabbed a chair as Douglas pulled a chain out of his boots. He then nailed Raven for a near fall. Raven came back right away and set up a chair in center ring. He bulldogged Douglas into the chair for a two count. Raven gave Douglas a superkick for a near fall. Slash yanked the ref out of the ring during the count. Raven then went for the bulldog, but bumped into both the ref and Slash in the process in a clumsy looking spot. Sin entered the ring and superkicked Raven. Slash and Sin beat on Raven. They brought a table into the ring as Tenay and West complained about how this match was supposed to be a way for a one-on-one match to settle their feud. Douglas kicked Raven repeatedly as Sin and Slash held him. Julio Deniro and C.M. Punk ran out to make the save. Raven hit Douglas with a spike DDT for a near fall. West put over Douglas for fighting fatigue and nausea. Raven went for a superplex off the top rope onto a table, but Douglas shoved Raven off and through the table. Douglas then went for the pin, but Raven kicked out. Douglas set up another table, but Raven caught him and DDT'd him off the top rope through a table. The ref counted to three, but just as the ref hit the mat the third time, the lights went out. When the lights came back on, Vampiro was standing in center ring. He was the "mystery man" who had been attacking Raven. Vampiro DDT'd Rave. Douglas the made the cover and the ref counted to three. Douglas taunted Raven afterward by saying, "Welcome to your destiny." Mitchell then shaved, not exactly delicately, Raven's head bald. Douglas held up a mirror. Tenay said: "This sucks! I've lot my objectivity and I don't give a damn!" as the show ended.

WINNER: Douglas at 17:03.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Pretty sluggish match with a nice series of believable nearfalls that saved it.


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GUEST EDITORIAL: Proposal on how to use the ECW timeslot to create innovative TV feeding Raw & Smackdown
GUEST EDITORIAL - CD REVIEW: WWE's new album features work-out quality jams, awful tracks, screeching guitar solos
Torch Feedback
TNA PPV Reax #1: "The final match and post-main event was like watching a Hornswoggle segment"
Monday Night Reax #4: "One word summarizes this week's Raw: focus"
Monday Night Reax #3: "I don't need to see The Nasty Boys or Jimmy Hart wrestling in 2010"
Monday Night Reax #2: "I want to be entertained and I want TNA to succeed, but this was bad"
WWE Raw Reax #1: "Austin showed more charisma than the rest of the roster combined before even opening his mouth"
WWE NXT Reax #2: "Slater & Christian could one day re-create the magic of Edge & Christian"
Ask the Editor
Ask the Editor: Wouldn't incorporating MMA-style holds into pro wrestling matches just be trying to be something it's not?
ASK THE EDITOR: Have the Michaels-Batista promos crossed a line with use of insider terms, references to "jobs"?
ASK THE EDITOR: Why do wrestlers in WWE refer to wrestling as "the business" and not "the sport"?
ASK THE EDITOR: Why didn't Curt Hennig get a run with the WWE World Title?
ASK THE EDITOR: Would Jesse Ventura make a good U.S. President, since he served your state as Governor?
ASK THE EDITOR: WWE excluded the Dudleys from Greatest Tag Team Ever - justified or not?
DVDs - VGames - Books
CALDWELL'S BOOK REVIEW: One of the best wrestling storytellers delivers highly entertaining history & insight in "The World According to Dutch"
RADICAN'S EVOLVE DVD REVIEW SERIES: Evolve 1 - Richards vs. Ibushi, Sawa vs. TJP
GUEST EDITORIAL - CD REVIEW: WWE's new album features work-out quality jams, awful tracks, screeching guitar solos
CALDWELL'S DVD REVIEW - "The Marine 2" strong on DiBiase's performance, weak on plot and storyline
RADICAN'S ROH DVD REVIEW SERIES: 10/9 "Clash of the Contenders" - Omega-Richards, Delirious-Aries
RADICAN'S DVD REVIEW SERIES: CHIKARA'S "Three Fisted Tales" - Castagnoli-Kingston, Colony-Portal
Torch Flashbacks
KELLER'S TNA DESTINATION X PPV REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (03-13-05): Jeff Jarrett vs. DDP, Styles vs. Daniels vs. R-Truth vs. Skipper, Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss
WWE WRESTLEMANIA COUNTDOWN - 2002 PPV Report (WM 18): Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock, Triple H vs. Chris Jericho, Undertaker vs. Flair
WWE WRESTLEMANIA COUNTDOWN - 2001 PPV Report (WM 17): Rock vs. Austin II, Undertaker vs. Triple H, TLC, Shane vs. Vince, Benoit vs. Angle
WWE WRESTLEMANIA COUNTDOWN - 2000 PPV Report (WM 16): Rock vs. Hunter vs. Foley vs. Big Show, Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho
WWE WRESTLEMANIA COUNTDOWN - 1999 PPV Report (WM 15): Steve Austin vs. The Rock, Mick Foley vs. Big Show, Brawl for All
WWE WRESTLEMANIA COUNTDOWN - 1998 PPV Report (WM 14): Steve Austin wins WWF Title, Undertaker vs. Kane, Mike Tyson, Pete Rose
VIP Exclusive Features
VIP - TNA ULTIMATE X PPV AUDIO ROUNDTABLE (70 min.): Keller, McNeill, Mitchell discuss one of worst booked PPVs with most ridiculous final five minutes ever
20 Years Ago PWTorch Newsletter Back Issue (2-22-90): New Format, Masa Saito beats Zbyszko for AWA Title in Tokyo, Sting injured, WCW contracts not renewed, more
20 Years Ago PWTorch Newsletter Back Issue (2-8-90): Horsemen turn on Sting, Keller's WCW Clash report, Quotebook, Columns, Comics, News, and more
3/20 Bruce Mitchell Audio Show (pt. 2): Top Ten Wrestlers of the 1970s, is Undertaker best gimmick ever, Richter-HOF, why booker recycle old ideas after they stop working, Ross, RVD-TNA, more (72 min.)
3/20 Wade Keller Hotline: Detailed Smackdown Analysis and thoughts Bischoff's reaction to ban on chairshots to the head (16 min.)
3/19 Wade Keller Hotline - The News: Ross's future, Linda McMahon campaign update, Rock vs. Austin for movie roles, Umaga, Tommy Dreamer, TNA-ECW, Impact replay rating (15 min.)
Torch Trivia
TORCH TRIVIA 2/28: Which wrestler backed out of a WWA PPV in February 2002?
TORCH TRIVIA 2/27: Who said this quote about Hulk Hogan's athleticism 11 years ago?
TORCH TRIVIA 2/25: What said this quote about WWE's mid-1990s drug testing policy?
TORCH TRIVIA 2/24: What do you remember about the World Wrestling Network promotion from 15 years ago?
TORCH TRIVIA 2/22: Answer to who defeated Paul London on a TNA PPV from February 2003
TORCH TRIVIA 2/22: Who defeated Paul London on a TNA PPV from February 2002?
Torch Instant Polls
TNA PPV POLLS: Vote on the Best Match and 0-10 PPV score
WWE & TNA POLLS: Vote on Raw vs. Impact Weeks 1 & 2, MVP of 3/15 shows
WWE SMACKDOWN MVP POLL: Who was the MVP of the 3/12 Smackdown if you saw the show?
WWE NXT POLL: Who was the MVP of the 3/9 NXT if you saw the show?
TNA IMPACT POLL: Who was the MVP of the 3/8 Impact if you saw the show?
WWE RAW MVP POLL: Who was the MVP of the 3/8 Raw if you saw the show?
PWTorch Free Podcast
FREE: Friday PWTorch Livecast (3/19) now available featuring James Caldwell & Greg Parks
FREE: Thursday PWTorch Livecast (3/18) now available featuring James Caldwell & Brian Hoops
FREE: Wednesday PWTorch Livecast (3/17) now available featuring Wade Keller & Pat McNeill
MMATorch Daily Audio News Brief (13 min.): Rapid-fire overview of the news of the day in world of UFC, Strikeforce, all MMA
FREE: Tuesday PWTorch Livecast (3/16) now available featuring Wade Keller & Bruce Mitchell
FREE: Monday PWTorch Livecast (3/15) now available featuring Wade Keller & Jason Powell
Annual Obituaries
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 1999 - Muchnick, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Renegade...
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2000 - Solie, Albright, Duncum, Tsuruta, Blue Demon, Al Costello
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2001: Johnny Valentine, Terry Gordy, Chris Adams, Bertha Faye, Helen Hart
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2002 (Wahoo, Thesz, Rocco, Mr. Wrestling)
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2002 (Wahoo, Thesz, Rocco, Mr. Wrestling)
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2003 (Hawk, Hennig, Blassie, Liz)