By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

John Morrison and The Miz Decide To Become Chumps

The Miz is a good dresser. Snappy hat that is sparkly. JoMizzy start off the show talking down about the "superstar initiative." Which makes sense. Kudos to WWE for bringing up the Braden Walker debacle, and Teddy Long saying that ECW has more hits and misses. Too bad that main event was a big miss. There was nothing wrong with the action. It was like two rams running into each other. Sort of ugly, but I liked it.
 
But I do not know why in the blue hell JoMizzy decided to become chumps.
 
They are forced to wrestle each other by Teddy Long, and the winner will face Ricky Ortiz, who has won a grand total of five matches. JoMizzy begins the show by talking about how they should be more respected, but when push comes to shove, they become Teddy Long's puppets by fighting each other. The announcers covered this up in a reasonable fashion. These two guys fight each other because they have "massive egos" and they want "bragging rights." Understandable. Matt Striker then goes into a spiel about how millions of WWE fans all around the world would taunt JoMizzy over the outcome of this match. Sort of absurd. The match ends in a tie and Ricky Ortiz comes out and gets his big moment in the sun beating up two men who have already been through a tough match. Yeah.
 
It is not like they gave JoMizzy a lot of time to fill. About 7 minutes were shown to the televised audience. It would have been great if JoMizzy did a "fake match." There could have been video bits of both John Morrison and The Miz talking about how they were going to beat the other guy senseless due to internal squabble. The match comes and fans are expecting that these guys are going to duke it out. JoMizzy then proceed to make a mockery of the match and do not actually fight. A lot of exaggerations. One of them lies down. Both of them applaud themselves on a "hard fought victory" to a shower of boos. They launch a verbal tirade against Teddy Long telling him that nobody tells JoMizzy what to do. Nobody would care who lost or who won because the match itself was a sham. Ricky Ortiz comes out and beats them senseless. Tosses them out of the ring. Set up for next week. JoMizzy put on frowny faces and point at Ortiz. Shawn Micheals and Triple H did a match in this fashion to piss off Sgt. Slaughter many years back. But apparently Ricky Ortiz is so over for some odd reason.
 
Like chumpy chumps John Morrison and The Miz duke it out to face some Ricky Ortiz. You know. Afro. Rip-off of Steelers' terrible towel that so far is not getting over (there were no camera shots of people waving the terrible towel). One gets the feeling that fans would not wave the towel if they were giving them away. And because of the skit between Ortiz and Tiffany implying that they got busy, one can assume that "O-ring Ortiz" has more venereal diseases than James Bond. It is all flash and no substance. One can agree with the push of Kozlov over at Smackdown. But pushing Ortiz in this fashion just reeks of desperation. People believe in Evan Bourne. Not a lot of people believe in somebody who does a finish from the 1970s (the terrible running bodysplash, ooh). I do not believe him and it is absurd to believe that Ortiz at this point should be bigger than JoMizzy.
 
Matt Striker Is Insane On The Mic and Jim Ross Makes Bold Predictions
 
Maybe just because I am conditioned to Raw and Impact announcers reading directly off a script, it is largely refreshing to hear Matt Striker do his thing on the mic. One can argue that it is worth tuning into ECW just to hear what Striker will say (after all, should not people be tuning into the announcing as well as the wrestling? I think so). Jim Ross with his "Shake and bake, brother." Wow, imagine that. Announcers actually sounding like real human beings instead of robot drones. Though it is somewhat difficult to swallow when JR tells fans that he is very impressed with Mike Knox and that Knox will be ECW champion in 2008. A large pyscho? Hmmm. Was Snitsky already fired?
 
Who impresses me more out of Mike Knox or Ricky Ortiz? Bam Neely. Both Bam and Finlay had a nice match, and a nice finish. The "Irish Jig" is a nice touch, because it portrays the WWE as personable instead of this gigantic massive corporation. I would rather see more of Bam than Ricky Ortiz. Maryse was not too bad in her match. Jack Swagger brought back power bombs to the WWE, and one could picture Chase-Dreamer vs. Mike Knox and Jack Swagger. Heck, I would be interested in Knox vs. Swagger.
 
ECW'S FINAL VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity
 
I did not like the main event, as I felt that the pushing of Ricky Ortiz over JoMizzy was just wrong and stupid. Even people who do not like John Morrison and The Miz (although they should) have a hard time writing two sentences about Ricky Ortiz. It does not matter if WWE tells fans that Ortiz is a big deal, there is simply not enough to warrant or merit Ortiz becoming bigger than JoMizzy. Nice match between Bam and Finlay. At least WWE knows that nothing really can be done for the Matt Hardy-Mark Henry feud. Swagger and Knox looks interesting, but we will see what that leads.
 
LEAVING YOU WITH MY ABSURD THOUGHT: Apparently there is hope at the end of the tunnel. Kurt Angle coming out and saying that TNA needs to get rid of run-ins and confusing gimmick matches made me feel relieved. Here is the site: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/wrestling/article1723920.ece. At times fans had to wonder if anybody in TNA knew that they had some gaping holes in their product. Although Angle sure made me laugh when he said that by God, TNA is going to go in the right direction. Hahaha. I have had more crappy storyline and character focus rather than good matches while watching TNA. TNA, in retaliation, will continue to have Angle bleed from his head. Nearly every Impact and TNA PPV I am seeing Kurt Angle getting busted open. You would think that because Angle does this so often he is trying to make it one of his trademark moves.
 
But here is the real deal, folks: Mick Foley. Fans are guessing that it would be Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle at Bound For Glory. Which would be a big match. You would get WWE fans and even non-wrestling fans interested in their match. The only highlight of TNA this year? The buildup and the match between Joe and Angle. That is it. Everything else has been soaked in chumminess or downright stupidity. Sure, Lethal and Dutt can put together a great ladder match, but the storyline leading up to it is atrocious. TNA can put together a great PPV match with nothing leading into it and nothing ultimately coming out of it. What did they do with Booker T? Put him in a feud with Robert Roode that went nowhere. Put him in some main event matches. And now he is just another one of the guys. Who does a bad accent. And has own locker room. Yawn.
 
So this is TNA's chance to redeem itself. I am hoping that TNA delivers a solid buildup to a PPV match (heck, I would just take one good buildup at this point) and that ultimately the match meets expectations. Just a PPV match that has good buildup, solid bits, a match that is not corny nor silly with gimmick crap, and a finish that does not punk out fans with run-ins or interferences. Here is TNA's chance. Can TNA deliver a storyline and match that is believable? I do not know.
 
That being said, I am looking forward to Mick Foley's debut. Well, I know that we will not actually debut. What will probably happen is that they will hype up Foley talking for two hours. Angle comes out to the ring with his suit and tells Foley to show up or he will kick his ass. Standard stuff. The "respect" angle is nice and dandy, but I am looking more of what they will do with Foley. At least he will not be wrestling Abyss. If the Mick Foley experiment falls on its face like so many of TNA's projects, then wrestling fans might as well eat pumpkin pie to drown their sorrows.
 
Extra note: Revisited "Beyond The Mat" on TV a few days back. Kind of a trip to see Jim Cornette, Vince Russo, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mick Foley, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Paul Heyman, and Jeff Jarrett back in 1999. Compare this to what they are doing now in 2008.

My email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt