Everyone here at The Microscope would like to wish you a Happy Veteran's Day. The sacrifices they made give us the freedom to worry about silly things like someone missing a clothesline or "why aren't they pushing Colt Cabana?" If you see a veteran today, thank them. If you see a veteran tomorrow, feel free to do the same thing.
As for Raw, we're headed to England, where the Microscope still works; it's just used on the opposite side of the street. Please remember that this is not a recap. Wade and James do that better than anyone. This is not a wine cooler. Bartles and Jaymes do that better than anyone. Bring your passport and let's take a closer look at Raw from across the pond.
No, you can have it
I loved that Batista came out and quickly asked for a rematch. This is not going to spin downward into a "what the WWE should do" lesson, but the best way to increase the value of a title is to have the person who lost it quickly demand a rematch. Usually, that happens, but it should happen all of the time. Then, it's up to whatever authority figure you have in place to decide whether or not they get it. That one small sentence immediately gives that belt more prestige. If the wrestler/entertainer/performer/court jester doesn't care about it, why should I?
Keep talking
A very heartfelt, dramatic, and completely appropriate celebration speech from William Regal. I hope that they won't reserve those declarations only for European tours. Surprisingly, it was from someone who the general public is supposed to hate. I'm sure Regal will quickly revert to his negative behavior when Raw returns Stateside.
Cancel the Honk-a-Tito-Perfect-Razor-Muraco-Mountie Meter sign
The Microscope essentially predicted the outcome of the Intercontinental title match last week by pointing out that Santino Marella the belt for the first time when WWE was in Italy last year. They gave the fans something to cheer about with William Regal getting the victory in a very short match. It actually fits with Marella's obsession with The Honky Tonk Man. HTM lost his belt in just 29 seconds to The Ultimate Warrior. Marella finishes this title reign tied with Roddy Piper and he would have passed Eddie Guerrero, Goldust and The Texas Tornado during the next week. Since this is the second day as champion, Regal is now tied with The Mountie. Tomorrow he will tie Razor Ramon. I'm quite sure that Ramon is up for a celebration of that event.
Just take a left, go straight, and you can't miss it
The new IC champ is announced as coming from Black Pool, England, which sounds menacing enough for someone who is trying to be feared. It's also a bit more imposing than his actual birthplace, which is Codsall Wood in Staffordshire. His "special something" Layla is from The Notting Hill section of London, which was also the name of a 1999 movie featuring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. Not nearly as imposing.
I'll help you pack
To continue our theme of hometowns, perhaps Mike Knox needs to relocate. I like his new look and he looks almost crazy enough to compete with Monday Night Football's offering of 49ers head coach Mike Singletary. The only thing missing? "His opponent, from Phoenix, Arizona." They must mean the bad area of Phoenix. I'm sure every town has a neighborhood where you casually reach over and lock the door if you're at a stop light too long, but I don't suddenly worry when I hear that someone grew up on the mean streets of Phoenix. Think of the great hometowns in wrestling: The Red Hook Section of Brooklyn, Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, The Double Cross Ranch, or even From Parts Unknown. They have a different feel than if someone is billed as coming from Burbank or West Palm Beach. Mike Knox needs to be from the abandoned saw mill in Montana.
Who is this John Cena fellow?
You can't accuse the WWE of failing to get the word out about Cena's return. It was interesting to see some of the opponents featured in his video. Kurt Angle, Tyson Tomko, and assorted Spirit Squad members were showcased, as well as Edge, a small reminder that the Rated-R superstar hasn't been seen on WWE television lately. Will he get the same return footage as Cena?
Yeah, but that was LAST week
Chris Jericho gets The Microscope Seal of Approval this week for saying what we thought last week. He referred to Shawn Michaels and the upcoming Last Man Standing match and the fun-loving nature of The Heartbreak Kid just seven days ago. "I punched his wife in the mouth, an action he makes light of now, but it still eats him up alive." Many people though the DX segment ranged from hysterical to mildly funny to a waste of time. I just thought it was out of place. Parts of it were very humorous, but when Michaels joked that you could hit my wife, insult my kids, but don't ever make fun of my hairline, that totally sucked the tension out of the feud with Jericho. That would be fine if you weren't going back to close out the feud the following week, but suddenly after joking that it's okay to drill your wife in the face, I'm supposed to feel strongly about you getting revenge on the guy who did it to her? I guess it depends on which t-shirt he's wearing. If he's wearing the DX shirt, punch his wife. If he's not wearing the DX shirt, don't punch his wife. A good rule for most people.
Kid-friendly
There were interesting choices on the ad for wwekids.com. John Cena was featured along with Hornswoggle and Triple H. Cena has never been terribly hardcore, with the memory of him painting "JBL is poopy" on a limousine still in my brain. Hornswoggle does appeal to the kids, but was once known as Little Bastard, and Triple H has had his various brushes with not-so-family friendly material. (Katie Vick, DX, marrying a passed out Stephanie McMahon, DX, bad language, crotch chops, crude homophobic humor, and D-X.) But the biggest surprise was the mixed up face of Umaga. First, we haven't seen the Samoan Bulldozer since August. Also, I'm not sure if you want one of your most-feared bad guys to be one of the first things that pops up on your kid-focused website. Perhaps he won't be as menacing when he returns. Perhaps he'll be billed as hailing from Phoenix.
What?
There was a brief moment of confusion during the Beth Phoenix title match about what Santino Marella had yelled from ringside. It appeared as if he yelled "cover up" just as Mickie James was coming off of the ropes. Although the announcers didn't hear it clearly, Phoenix obviously did. She covered up. A small thing? Sure, but it's nice to see a manager, valet, tag team partner paying attention to the match and actually helping someone inside the ring within the progression of the match.
Hi, I'm your partner
Although C.M. Punk was not featured on the show, his match with Randy Orton next week was nicely promoted. Sadly, this will be the third straight week that he will not compete with his tag team partner Kofi Kingston. If you remember, and they've given you no reason to do so, they won the belts last month. Last week, he competed in a singles match. This week, neither wrestled. Next week, he's wrestling solo again. I hope Kingston follows him to the ring at the very least, if only to remind us that there is still a tag team division and we reward people who do well in that division with belts. Ironically, in the next segment after announcing the match, a fan walked in front of the camera carrying the flag of Jamaica. Someone remembers, Kofi. Someone remembers. Kofi Kingston is a very literal example of our hometown theme. Billed from Jamaica and named after one of its biggest cities. Nice work. Actually, he's from Ghana, but it could have been worse. They could have said he was from Phoenix.
What are some of your favorite hometowns for wrestlers? Feel free to comment below or send me an e-mail at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com
I'm sure I missed something in tonight's episode, feel free to politely remind me!
Hey, why AREN'T they pushing Colt Cabana? I mean, aside from the fact that
his clotheslines suck. They're not discriminating against people from
Phoenix, are they?
Mark Dinatale
11 Nov 2008, 20:39
I understand why Regal won, but what the heck is he going to do next week.
US fans don't like his wrestling style. He might keep the IC title until
Survivor Series, but after that he's done. I still hate the fact that Cena
gets a title shot after being gone for 4 months, why would he not want to
face Batista again? If someone broke my neck during a fight, I surely would
want to get them back when I was healthy. The belts are worthless and HBK
should be champion going into WM. for one last run. He's one of the only
guys that makes RAW and the WWE exciting.
BAMINKS
11 Nov 2008, 22:41
I agree completely about Shawn now so easily making fun of his wife getting
punched in the face. It really lessened the impact of the entire feud.
HOWEVER, it wasn't his hairline that Miz and Morrison made fun of (Triple H
did that.) Shawn was offended that M&M (not to be confused with Morrison's
old tag team MNM) made fun of his CHAPS. Just keeping the microscope on its
toes...
Lee
12 Nov 2008, 12:12
BAMINKS---
Thanks for checking in. It WAS his chaps. I should have known better. The
microscope had a few dings after going through customs. I apologize for
the mistake!
INCREDIBLE BENEFITS! Over 50 full-length audio updates per month (iPod compatible)... New weekly award-winning Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter (text and printable pdf versions) with latest exclusive insider news, new Torch Talks, great columns, Keller's cover story, much more... Hundreds of full-length back issues of PWTorch Newsletter from late-'80s to today... Ad-free access to PWTorch.com's Main Listing... VIP Forum with interaction with other subscribers and Torch staff... Torch Talk Library with text and audio of hundreds of interview installments from last 20 years... Great layout... Deepest archives on pro wrestling history anywhere... Keller's PWTorch Today PDF Bulletins with email alerts... VIP Email reports on major PPVs and TV shows... Staff Roundtable Reviews (text and audio) followiing major events... The best staff of writers and world class reporting since 1987... We'd love for you to join us and experience the most entertaining, authoritative, experienced staff of professional reporters and commentators in the business...
Compare the value of four or five months of PWTorch VIP content to the price of just one PPV. Can you cut 25 cents a day from your budget to make room for PWTorch VIP?
AND NEW FOR 2009! Monthly "Vintage Audio Torch Talks." We are releasing for the first time ever audio versions of our text Torch Talk updates, the historical first series of insider interviews ever. Wade Keller's newsmaking in-depth interviews with wrestling's biggest names are now being made available exclusively to VIP members. But you must be a member each month, as these are not archived, so they are replaced with a new one each month! This debuted in January 2009 with a 68 minute interview with the late "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith. Who's next? Hulk Hogan? Eric Bischoff? The Rock? Goldberg? Jeff Hardy?
