By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Survivor Series opens up with talking about...tradition. The whole "annual" thing means nothing to me. Just because something has been around for a long time does not make it automatically worth watching.

Jericho was shown here in getting dominant wins in his video package. Of course, he could have looked dominant before the PPV aired, but I digress.

The somber announcers come out and talk about the various "new sources" such as ABC, CNN, and TMZ. TMZ? Really? "It is under investigation by WWE officials." That's reassuring. They couldn't find their own ass if they were sitting on a chair.

When you are in the business of scamming people out of their money for a long time, you tend to get really good at it. Fans loved it when WWE pulled the "wool over their eyes" with the surprise 30th entry of John Cena at the Royal Rumble. When Shawn Michaels hurt his elbow months ago, people checked into WWE.com to see if his match with Jericho for the upcoming PPV. That's understandable on WWE's part for assuming that fans in this situation are worried about more about their possible enjoyment of a match than the wrestler's well being.

But having a wrestler being "unconsciousness" at 3 a.m. is more serious than an injured elbow. That's going into the "real world." That's for any wrestler. Fans care more about the wrestler in this situation than the damn PPV itself.

So with cold indifference, J.R. and Tazz make no wish for the safety of Jeff. I understand that the "Jeff Injury" happened to bring Edge back into the fold, but the whole thing came off as garbage. They should have kept in their own realm. There was no need to splash it on their website as "real news" if the whole thing was see-through.

The assumption is that WWE put out this "Jeff Injury" to get people talking about the match. It's akin to talking about the BCS. Sometimes you need controversy to make some cash. But the problem here is that the intended effect that they wanted on fans was largely different from the real impact it had. They wanted fans to think about "will Jeff show up?" and "I wondered what happened? Did he get jumped from behind? The real effect it had on fans was "Why is the ruse story so badly written and executed?" and "Does WWE give an actual damn about their wrestlers?" The whole thing left me feeling angry and frustrated. It was extremely poor work and execution.

They should have never started with "Jeff is in a coma, that's all we can tell you." They should have never leaked it out before the PPV. Looking at the discussion boards it did get people talking, but it drew huge criticism and the whole thing was sleazy. If you didn't know any better, you would have thought that somebody had hacked their way into the website and published the story. The whole thing came off as sabotage.

As a fan, I didn't want to buy the PPV just on this "ruse" principle alone. Obviously Edge needed to be in the match and Jeff out. They could have done a bit in the PPV where Jeff, walking with his brother Matt, was attacked in the parking lot by a mysterious person (on camera or off). Then they could have brought in Matt Hardy talking about the "blunt object." There has to be a way to better handle that the Jeff injury bit without going to the lengths of "Jeff might be dead, that's all we got."

Nobody was going to buy the PPV beforehand to see Triple H vs. Kozlov. Nobody was going to believe the weak "real" story that WWE cooked up.

Anyways, back to the PPV. Nice bit with JBL wanting the fan ejected from the building for touching him. For my money this was the best "elimination match" of the night, though that's not saying much.

The crowd starts chanting for Khali. Nice tag team move by Khali and Rey.

Sad to say but Matt Striker was treated like a kid tonight. Every time he tried to bring in his passionate descriptions, he was usually shot down. After Striker referred to John Morrison as a five-star tool, Tazz said, "Anytime I'm referred to as a tool, I'm not happy." The whole thing came off as a mess with all six men announcing. Striker was bringing up obscure references and 1980s bands during a typical ECW match, but on a PPV scale it was just odd.

Wouldn't it be great if there was a John Morrison vs. HBK feud down the line? JoMo could have gotten the pin here. Big story of this match was Khali getting a face rub.

Trips does a serious promo on PPV with interviewer Eve. I guess on Smackdown it's all comedy hour. You know. Staring at breasts. Burials. Bad jokes. Good stuff.

Only thing worth mentioning of the Diva match is how much in love WWE is with Beth Phoenix. It was a nice move putting her with Santino, because if she didn't have him, not a lot of people would care about her. I'm supposed to care about women's matches because of their flashy clothes.

It's understandable. They have their own niche. "Look at how beautiful they are." But no one can hide the fact that their wrestling stinks. It's the same old crud. And for the argument of "Well, we are just bringing in sex appeal, not wrestling", this is a stale and tired act. They won't do anything about the nothingness of WWE divas matches. A waste of time.

Funny, on aol.com, a "news source that reported Jeff's injury," showed no mention of Jeff. But they did have a news story that had the headline of "Astronauts Try To Repair Urine Machine." This is the stupidest and scummiest thing WWE has done in 2008.

Man, did Undertaker and Big Show just look winded. I mean, three minutes into the match and they are already staggering. Crowd was near dead. Really slow match. However, this possible stinker of a match did regain lost ground with Undertaker and Show fighting on the ramp. To their credit, they could have not brought in the second casket or have Show used the casket as a weapon. Show didn't even have to go through the table. So it still was a stinker, but the match could have been a lot worse. I wouldn't want to watch it again, though.

Triple H, dressed as a wookie, does some LARPing in the next PPV, Armageddon.

Gobbly Gooker is the Boogeyman all along. WWE's answer to their stink matches with the Divas? Twins! Pass.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy? The Muppet himself, C.M. Punk, takes out Regal quickly. Is there really going to be a Punk vs. Regal feud? And why did the IC champion have to lose so quickly? I understand that it could fall into the storyline of Regal cutting a promo on Punk that "he embarrassed him," but by far the IC and X Division belts are a joke.

You wonder if WWE regrets putting the world title on C.M. Punk. They sure don't like him now.

Who throws a shoe? Honestly? Striker tried to bring up an Austin Powers reference but the big kids told him to shut up. They could go somewhere with Layla throwing shoes in Regal matches. And yes, besides Orton and Dave, that was the biggest thing coming out of this match.

When Striker talks about the similarities of Kofi and Mark Henry, Cole chimes in, "Similarities?" Cole then gets all uppity. If you like to hear other announcers bash on another announcer, you would have liked this one. Hearing the announcing made this match unbearable. Striker is not fully WWE brainwashed yet and just didn't work well with the others. He was the only one urging wrestlers to "hook the leg on their cover." At one point, Striker begin to pump up Kofi but then J.R. cut him off and said, "Oh look who's here. Orton."

So this match was pretty much the Randy and Dave show, as not a lot of people cared about the other wrestlers. It was sort of pathetic - an effective way to keep the fires burning for Dave vs. Batista, as well as push Cody Rhodes. But the whole match was nothing special, and was the worst bit of the night.

J.R. and Tazz go into "overkill scientific wrestling mode" to try to cover up for the scientific wrestling that Trips and Kozlov were doing. It wasn't before long that the crowd was chanting "We want Hardy," "Boring," and "TNA." Fans hated what was happening in the ring, and I kind of got a kick out of it. Considering the putrid "Jeff Injury" bit, it felt good to see WWE fall on its face here.

Although, to be fair, it didn't matter what both men did in the ring. Not a lot of people felt that Kozlov was a viable threat or cared much about him. Kozlov also did not have a stellar performance here. While he handled slams just fine, he was slow, ungainly, and three sitting bear hugs signify that he didn't know what the hell he was doing. He was limited, and if any indications, he will be bumped back down to the mid-card.

I really like scientific wrestling, but it's hard to concentrate on a match when the crowd itself hates it and don't care about it at all. When the crowd is chanting "TNA," it's hard to really involve yourself in the match. The announcers tried to cover it up, but the fans were expecting Jeff Hardy. The WWE fans are conditioned to expect a certain style in matches. So when you go against that in order to protect your wrestlers and to kill time before Edge shows up, you are bound to get booed.

It would have been stupid here for both men to do dangerous moves or use weapons, because the whole point of the match was the return of Edge. Triple H was not going to dominate Kozlov because then the match would be over in two minutes. Kozlov was not going to dominate Triple H because from the crowd reaction he's just not that over. What we had here was a stalemate.

WWE didn't mind this because their ace-in-the-hole was the return of the mountain man Edge. And Jeff.

Just think of all of the trouble that went into the Jeff injury bit. Somebody had to write up that AP news report. Did they at all feel like this was sleazy? That the whole thing reeked? Of course, Trips needs a chair shot by Jeff to have Edge win the title.

WWE did a good job of pushing Hardy. Edge as champion is sure to bring in viewers. But the how the Jeff injury angle was handled was garbage. Maybe they should take their head out of their asses and learn that fans, indeed, do care about wrestlers. They are not products, robots, or tools WWE uses. The main fault here is that WWE blurred the line when they presented the Jeff injury as "real." First time I heard about it, I immediately worried about the safety of Jeff. Even if it was Jamie Noble, who wasn't on the PPV. For any wrestler. I didn't give a damn about the PPV. But it didn't take very long to know that it was all a ruse. The whole thing felt callous and cold-hearted. The whole thing still angers me, because WWE thinks that is acceptable behavior.

It's not.

Usually I write these pieces like a jumping monkey on crack, but I know far too well that wrestling does indeed have a seedy side. A face that makes you want to not follow wrestling just on principle alone. The side that screams out that you treat fans like idiots and the more cash you get out of them, the better. No matter what depths you have to go to, you will pull those heartstrings and the cash flow will start. It's something that you will not forgive WWE for.

Back to the PPV. Oh, how cute. AWA Cena. Jericho looked brilliant here with working on Cena's neck. Even after all this time, Cena does not know how to sell a submission hold. He looks more constipated than in tremendous pain. The roll up at the end didn't do very much. But like classic Cena matches, this had the crowd going and at least the notion of Jericho retaining was plausible. Having Lawler say things like "Cena came back too soon" helped.

Watching Cena's selling of Jericho's submission holds was like watching a movie star badly sell. That's why there are Cena-haters out there, because still he does not get it that he takes away from the match instead of adding to it. Shout out to Verne Gagne. Now to watch other programs that don't leave me feeling depressed and sullied.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Tonight you got a full dose of the sleaziness of WWE. The Jeff Injury bit was awful. You had a nice match with Team HBK vs. Team JBL. The Divas match was a waste of time. While Undertaker vs. Big Show wasn't a complete dud, none of it was worth watching again. Team Dave vs. Team Orton was long, largely pointless, and nobody cared about the other wrestlers. For me, it was healing to hear how much the fans hated that Kozlov vs. Trips match. The return of Edge is supposed to wash all of WWE's sins away, but when it is all said and done, this "Jeff Injury" was handled nearly as horrible as the "Dead Chairman" angle. And to wrap it up, Jericho looks good while Cena looks bad, but guess who walks out with the title? I came into this PPV preparing myself for the worst. The PPV wasn't nearly as bad, but it was in large part not worth it. Sure, Edge and Cena are champions. That doesn't excuse the fact that the negatives of the PPV largely outweighed the good. Looking back on it I am sorry that I bought the PPV.

POSTIVES

-- Team HBK vs. Team JBL, Khali as face
-- Undertaker vs. Big Show did show some effort with the finish
-- Layla's possible new gimmick of throwing a shoe
-- Laughing at WWE during the miserable Triple H vs. Kozlov
-- Chris Jericho's wrestling

NEGATIVES

-- How the "Jeff Injury" angle was handled
-- Striker just doesn't gel very well with the rest of the announcers, largely horrible to listen to all six announcers at once
-- Where does JoMizzy go from here?
-- Useless divas match, bad wrestling
-- Undertaker vs. Big Show was still bad to watch, both looked worn out
-- Team Batista vs. Team Orton was long, slow, and tacked on
-- "We're waiting for Edge, so here are some dance moves" by Trips and Kozlov. You take out the Edge and Jeff part, and you would have the worst WWE match of the year
-- John Cena's wrestling

VERDICT: It's So Absurd It Makes Me Want To...Question Why I Watch Such Garbage

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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