THE SPECIALISTS UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 11/21 WWE SMACKDOWN: I thought it was a Basket Match, The R-Truth hurts, Big Red Koslov
Nov 24, 2008 - 2:37:37 PM
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By Lee Stevens, PWTorch Specialist
My name is Lee Stevens and for several months I have been taking a closer look at Raw with "Under The Microscope." With the brand separation as weak as ever, I'm joining Friday nights. Yes, I'm now part of the talent exchange. Just a friendly reminder that this is not a complete recap. You'll find an excellent recap of Smackdown on the front page. This will be a closer look at things you may have missed, some things you may not have known, and some things you were probably better off not knowing. I encourage your comments either in the comment section below or you can e-mail me. If you live close enough, you could just yell really loud.
Riot it is!
Just seconds into the show and we enjoy our sign of the week. "Bring back Gangrel or we will riot!" Although I don't believe the vampire is coming back soon, his loyal Brood could be reuniting. Many fans will remember Gangrel as the man with fangs, Luna Vachon, and a goblet of blood. As if that wasn't enough to make him happy, he was also known to travel in the same circles as "The Brood," two men who would later achieve fame on their own. Edge should be returning from well-deserved time off, while Christian appears to be jumping from TNA. While it's not a given that the two would form a tag team again, it seems that there's a better chance of Christian entering a WWE ring than Gangrel. If those are our two choices, I suppose the Manchester fans should prepare for the Gangrel-inspired riot. I hope he gets proper credit on the BBC.
The Truth Hurts
Jim Ross made an effort to mention that R-Truth is "very unique in his ring attire." To see someone else wrestling in stylish painted jeans, you only had to look as far as his tag team partner Matt Hardy. However, his point was not lost if you looked closely during one of the headlocks. Ron Killings is sporting gloves which feature silver metal rings. I'm sure he's quite careful in the ring, but I can't imagine that they would feel the least bit comfortable if they would meet his opponent with any force. What would have been considered a foreign object 20 years ago is now a fashion statement.
Your lucky numbers
The final "John Cena Returns!" video brings us more testimonials from family and friends. I would never question why the WWE included his brother, old coaches and current wrestlers, but I'm not sure Carl Edwards and Marc Ecko were the way to go. How do you keep the anticipation high for a returning former champion? You could talk to former champions. He's in the movies, so you could talk to famous action heroes. What if we talk to a NASCAR driver and a fashion designer? Perfect.
Also, if you're more of a numbers person, Cena is pictured wearing #53 and #54 from his football days and #44, #13, #33, and #54 on his way to the ring. It's unknown whether or not Marc Ecko designed his jerseys or if Carl Edwards drove him to the arena.
Maryse, can I borrow your mascara?
Jeff Hardy has always featured a different look in regards to ring attire, carefully manicured beard and multi-colored hair, but now he's ensuring that the makeup crew earns their money too. Last week, he proudly displayed the full coverage, looking like either Jigsaw from The Saw movie series, or some people felt it was a tribute to The Joker. Regardless, this week he went with the painted on sunglasses which calls to mind Jim Carrey's version of The Riddler. I believe that there is nothing wrong with your men's champion wearing as much makeup as your women's champ. I believe in equality. I also believe that Marc Ecko is hardcore, so perhaps I'm the wrong person to ask.
The Red Scare
Continuing with appearances, it's refreshing to see Vladimir Kozlov's look as he heads into Survivor Series. In many ways, Kozlov is a reminder of bad guys from long ago, as he is the classic Russian brute who brutalizes his opponents. This Russian bear is one of the few to not wear red tights to remind people he's from the former Soviet Union. Ivan Koloff, Nikita Koloff, Nikolai Volkoff and even Krusher Kruschev all wore red outfits, many featuring the hammer and sickle. Kozlov prefers a lighter approach with the white tights. Not exactly the typical look of a feared man from a land far away. Plus, a scary beard wouldn't be too much to ask, would it?
How much?
Although MVP's opponent didn't too much to impress in the ring, he provided a glimpse into our home for Smackdown this week. He was introduced as weighing 16 stone. If you're from New England, you probably don't know what that means. If you're from "Old" England, you know that the stone is a unit of measurement roughly equivalent to 14 pounds. So, James Mason weighs approximately 224 pounds. The stone around MVP's neck which is keeping him down weighs much more.
By the way, if you thought you've heard the name James Mason before, you may have, just not in the ring. James Mason was a three-time Academy Award-nominated actor. He was featured in such movies as "The Verdict," "North By Northwest," and "Heaven Can Wait." More recently, he was the inspiration for the chimpanzee in "Madagascar," appropriately named "Mason." Too close of a look? Perhaps. Let's move on.
I thought you said it was a BASKET match
With The Undertaker's overwhelming success in casket matches, it's amazing that the WWE could come up with reasonable explanations as to why an opponent would ever agree to one. In the preview for the Survivor Series match with The Big Show, we see several of the people who shrugged their shoulders and thought "why not?" Among them - Shawn Michaels, Yokozuna, Kamala, and more recently, Mark Henry and Chavo Guerrero. I hope you noticed one other competitor. Kama Mustafa was also pictured. If the name doesn't ring a bell, he wrestled as Kama, Papa Shango, and The Godfather. One of the all-time great transformations with one wrestler. From a voodoo man to an ultimate fighting champion to an ultimate pimp daddy. Well done, Charles Wright. The Microscope salutes you. Sorry about the casket.
Finally, we also saw a classic look at The Phenom when he was flanked by Viscera and his always-stylish mohawk. Yes, he was also on the losing end of a Casket Match earlier in his career before The Ministry was formed. Plus, The Acolytes - Ron Simmons and a younger Bradshaw - were nearby. Simmons looked essentially the same, minus his catch T-shirt, but Bradshaw comes complete with a goatee and several nifty designs painted on his chest. I know JBL is a big Wall Street expert and I'm not one to tell you what to do, but if you take financial advice from a man with markings painted on his chest, you're on your own.
Who was your favorite casket match opponent? What's your favorite gimmick match? What's your favorite James Mason movie? Comment below!
Lee Stevens thinks Kizarny should be managed by Snoop Dogg, Fo' Shizzle. He goes "Under The Microscope" for Raw and Smackdown, plus recaps Hulk Hogan's CCW. You can e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com
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