By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

After a disastrous Scummy Series, I tuned into Raw tonight to see what would happen. Maybe even perhaps a semi-apology for the rotten "Jeff Injury" crud. Yeah, right. There were exciting bits but some very odd choices as well.

Like how much plugging of WWE products could Raw fit into one show.

It's all about the money. (credit to img.skysports.com for pic)

How cool is Shane-o? He doesn't have that stigma of "Daddy's son," so the crowd likes him. His tendency of taking sick bumps on PPV also helped. The jacket bit with Dolph Ziggler did make me laugh.

As it turns out, it could be a heel GM Stephanie vs. the face GM Shane. Bits of Stephanie getting chummy with heel Jericho and giving the psychotic baddy Kane a match against Cena might signify it. Shane could swoop in and align himself with the face wrestlers.

And that was the big thing coming out of tonight: the common man vs. the elitist man. More on that later.

The whole brother-sister rivalry does sort of remind some of the failed "Invasion" storyline (when Shane owned WCW and Stephanie owned ECW), but it is a heck of a lot less cluttered. After the junk that was the "GM Mike Adamle" bit that was going on in Raw for months, this rivalry is intriguing to tune into.

Usually you can catch when WWE feels that the current match needs outside distraction in order to keep viewers. Cue up Pat Patterson plugging the IC DVD during the Kofi vs. Kane match. Cue up William Regal announcing during the C.M. Punk vs. Snitksy match. But I was a bit surprised that JBL came down to the ring in his limo. I would have thought that JoMizzy vs. HBK/Mysterio didn't need that tactic of "please stick around to watch this match, because we have shown that somebody will come in." It does distract a bit.

Only thing worth mentioning here was that Mysterio had some nice moves. John Morrison quickly regains some lost mojo in beating up Rey and HBK. Nothing special about JBL attacking John Morrison instead of HBK, even if the announcers over-sold that angle. JBL made an offer for HBK and that was a sign of good faith. Yet another intriguing angle: Is HBK possibly dirty? Has he joined forces with JBL? And why in good gravy did WWE have Finlay try to embarrass Vince McMahon by having his son Hornswoggle pretend he was Vince's son?

Mr. Kennedy shows up to plug his movie. WWE at least here acknowledged the Presidential election. Like true chumps they asked an absurd question that would pump up WWE: "What WWE superstar reminds you of Obama?" This bit was somewhat odd, but it was good to see Mr. Kennedy back.

WWE sure pulled out all of the stops in having nearly every bit "attention grabbing."

Batista loves Cena so much! Kiss kiss kiss! Smooch smooch smooch! Man is that getting hold. Batista is apparently driving the Cena bandwagon. A bit sad to see Batista try to piggy back on the Cena hype.

The Slammy Awards! All right!

Another 3 hour special! No!

Like Raw, now it is time in this absurd report to do some plugging! In the month of December, prepare for "The Absurd Awards of 2008!" It's action-packed! It's entertaining! And it's totally free!

The Intercontinental Title Tournament? I am going to go out on a limb here and say that:

- Punk will defeat his punching bag buddy Kofi in a match.
- Punk will square off against Regal for the IC title. Layla will throw a shoe.
- Punk will win the IC title.

Maybe Raw shouldn't highlight Regal vs. Punk before their IC match even starts. You know. Regal costs Punk his lumberjack match with Punk. Camera shots of Regal and Punk in Scummy Series. Regal losing in 15 seconds to Punk.

Man. Punk was ECW champion and World Heavyweight Champion. Now he's tag team champion (though he never defends it) and now has the possibility of winning the IC Champion. That's regressing somewhat.

Pat Patterson, absurdly in a tux (I'm telling you, WWE was begging for your attention tonight) plugs the IC DVD.

Kane uses the steel steps as a weapon against Kofi. Wow they are actually trying. Kind of unnerving comparing what they did for the past month. At a preview standpoint, at least they are trying to make it "must-see TV" again. Last month Raw was generic and bland.

By the way, the IC title doesn't mean anything. WWE is at fault here for putting the IC title on Santino and those awful IC defenses he had after he won by pretty much landing no offense at all.

Dave is looking to have a feud with Randy, and they are tagging their kids along (Cody and Manu). It would be nice if Batista could be portrayed more than just a replica of Cena.

Orton looks good. Dear Lord, what a spear. I have a problem with Jericho being portrayed as a sneaky champion, but that's because I have a man-crush on Jericho. Understandably, Jericho needs to be portrayed as a sniveling heel who takes shortcuts against the wholesome and always honest John Cena.

And John Cena wants to tell the WWE Universe that the Absurd Awards are coming!

I wouldn't give the Goldust thing much. I am thankful that they took the belt off of Santino, and I enjoy his comedy matches. There could be something here with Santino vs. Goldust, as Santino facing jobbers mean nothing. Maybe Goldust can shatter the dreams of Santino.

WWE Mobile ad has Kozlov beating up on Bret Haas. I wish WWE would get off this "history" trip. There's nothing wrong with it, but it seems like they rely on it way too much. It means nothing to me that it was the 22nd annual Survivor Series last night, and the character of Bret Hart for WWE Mobile is just ... weird.

The announcers pump the IC title as one of the most precious and honorable titles. Give me a break. The IC title is a joke. Just last night you had your IC champion Regal lose extremely quickly to Punk. But they got to start somewhere, I suppose.

Once I heard the opening chords of Snitksy's song, I was thankful that I could fast-forward through this thing. I stopped caring about Snitksy, Punk was obviously going to win, I didn't care about the action in the ring, and Regal announcing meant nothing.

Apparently it will be Mysterio vs. The Miz next week in the IC Title hunt. Mysterio was absurd tonight: "I watched the IC DVD. I know my history." Mysterio then proceeded to again name drop Stone Cold as a former IC champion. I proceeded to gag on all of the IC DVD plugs.

But oh no, the plugging was not over. DX, those commercial whores, have a backstage skit to shell out more crappy DX gear. Seriously, the DX gear looks like they should be sold in garage sales.

So with goofy-ass smiles on their faces, the commercial whores proceed to shuck more products.

What of the "special offer" that JBL made to HBK?

And didn't Triple H lose the title just last night to Edge?

Shouldn't he be a bit distraught?

I mean, I don't know how one goes from being robbed of the title one night and then the very next night shill some products. Isn't it wrong to be plugging something else when you should be serious?

The Absurd Awards are coming!

And yes, someone was thoughtful enough to have placed the new IC DVD along with the various WWE crap. Cue up the DX theme mixed in with Christmas music.

But money makes everything all right. That's why HBK and Trips have no qualms acting like douche bags and selling products. A bit fat paycheck erases all complaints. The DX of 1997 would probably have hated DX of 2008 for being whores. Generation Consumer. Being rebels for capitalism. We used to buck authority, now we are sell products for them.

This whole DX bit did not need to be put on the show following the PPV, considering that Trips lost his title just last night. But because Raw was so paranoid of hitting it big on this night, the DX commercial was put into place. Truth be told, this bit was pretty good. I Chuckled during HBK's "Wii box, Playstation 475," Trips's "Jingle Bells!" and HBK going "Buy! Buy! Buy!" Also good use of Kelly. Trips and HBK have to treat the whole thing ridiculously because the whole DX commercial is absurd. I would have hated it a lot more if Trips and HBK did not at least recognize that they were product whores.

Quick, kids! Get your parents' credit card! Buy! Buy! Buy! (credit to tv-wallpapers.co.uk for pic.)

So because the bit was pretty funny, I'll try to pretend that Trips didn't lose the title last night. As stated before, this DX commercial would have been better placed, say, next week, but once again Raw was paranoid about the ratings. But the combo of plugging both the IC DVD (a lot) and DX gear was simply too much.

Melina returns! Not much else here.

Damn, how smart is Chris Jericho? He brought up the Batista "eight day reign."

Ah, the man of the people, Cena. Remember when TNA tried this tactic with Joe? Didn't quite work.

Cena comes out and says that every single fan in the building "care about the WWE." Gag. "These fine people! I give it my all for these fine people! I will give my blood for the most valuable assets WWE has, the fans! And hey, what's in my pocket! Why, it's the IC DVD that will come out next week! All true passionate WWE fans will be sure to buy it!"

I'm gushing over Jericho. Three weeks. Cena portrays himself as the common man: "We are good enough." Jericho portrays himself as the elitist man, by describing Cena as a hypocrite and everyone who backs Jericho as sheep who gladly shell out their money for something that is not the truth.

"We don't need changing, we don't need saving!" So states Cena. I hope that isn't the mindset of the Raw writers. In any business, you have to adapt continuously or you will get left behind. Cena rakes in big bucks as champion, but that will not last forever.

In all, this was a great bit. The battlelines are drawn: the common man (Cena) vs. the elitist man (Jericho). I am siding with Jericho. Screw the little people. I profess no serious love for WWE and I don't really buy into all of that "Cena" hype. I think that in large part WWE is dishonest and that's why it is easy for me to side with Jericho. WWE was smart into tapping into this: the Cena lovers are those who adore WWE and crave entertainment, while Cena haters are those who are not easily impressed with WWE and crave substance rather than flash. This was really good stuff here. I was pumped up for their PPV match after this great bit.

Where MEM vs. The Young Lions fails is that it is very narrow in scope. If you don't care about rookies or veterans, you are hard pressed to align yourself truly with a side. Thus, it's all too easy to side with MEM, as they are cooler and they don't do heel promos that lash out against the fans.

But with this "The Common Man vs. The Elitist Man" bit (just take a look in how they dress), Cena and Jericho have tapped into something that everyone can relate to. And everyone can pick a side from their own outlook of life and preferences. Nobody could blame with siding with Cena, as he has been portrayed as passionate, honest, and hardworking. Nobody could blame siding with Jericho, as indeed WWE and Cena can be viewed as hypocrites. All of that "passionate fans" is bull. Fans are fickle and they would drop Cena quickly if somebody better came along. Who gives a damn about the fans.

This Cena-Jericho bit reminds me of the James Caan quote in the Schwarzenegger film, "Eraser." In the film, Caan betrays Schwarzenegger (John Kruger) and shows himself to be the bad guy. Caan is supposed to protect witnesses but he kills them in order to silence them so that they do stop the plans of people who deal in arms trades. Caan wants John to give up the location of his witness so that he could kill her to prevent her in testifying in court. Caan is "the heel" and John is "the face," but it is all about a matter of perspective. This is from memory, so it might be a bit off:

John: Did you do this for the money? So you can start your own little dirty war somewhere?

Caan: Wars? Wars, John...Wars, they come and go. We did 'Nam, we lost. We did the Gulf, we won. Hey! What changed, John? Nothing. Nothing ever does. The only things that change John is who gets rich, and who gets dead. Me, personally, I prefer rich. Don't you?

John: You must be a very rich man by now.

Caan: You know, John. It doesn't have to be like this. You could be part of something big. All of you have to do is give up the girl.

John: Never! Hasta la vista, baby! Get to the chopper! You're fired! The Absurd Awards are coming! I'll be back!

Jericho has been shown to be a hypocrite in getting "dishonest wins," but what matters is the end result. Cena and the WWE fans can also be described as "sheep" who themselves are hypocrites as well. This could be a WrestleMania angle. I am digging it.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Well, there sure are a lot of things to be excited about from this Raw. I am looking forward to what they will do with the Brother vs. Sister angle and Cena vs. Jericho. The possible deal HBK made with JBL is an intriguing but minor bit. While there are some things that have a lot of legs, there are others that frankly you wonder how much life they will have. Wasn't a big fan of the IC tournament, as the belt itself needs a lot of work done in order to get it back up to "valuable" status. And it seems already too clear that it will be Punk vs. Regal for the IC title. Santino hams it up with Goldust, but fans have to wonder where WWE will take both men later. Melina and Mr. Kennedy returning were nice, but both of their bits were plagued by staleness or just plain weirdness. Triple threat match goodness tonight. DX were funny but I still feel that they should have waited for that DX commercial until a later date, given Trips's title loss. I am a big fan of what Jericho and Cena did in their interaction tonight, as they started something that has the potential to be very hot. Mid-card mediocrity is still a persistent problem on Raw, but there are two big angles to try to cover that up.

POSTIVES

-- Possible Heel GM Stephanie vs. Face GM Shane angle, strong showings by both somewhat purge the memory of GM Mike Adalme
-- How the JoMizzy vs. HBK/Mysterio match was handled. Not much in action, but character development was key here
-- Stephanie giving Kane a match with Cena next week showed Raw to be looser instead of the same formula week in and week out
-- Triple Threat Match fulfilled the "good wrestling" quotient of the night, saved the other bad matches
-- Goldust, Mr. Kennedy and Melina appearances
-- DX were pretty funny
-- Santino was his usual hammy self
-- Raw was trying to make every segment unlike in past months. Meaning they were actually trying to keep you entertained instead of just assuming that you were.
-- Cena and Jericho hit it off big

NEGATIVES

-- Less than stellar return for Mr. Kennedy with weird Presidential election video package
-- Batista kissing the ass of Cena
-- Overload of the plugging of the Intercontinental Title DVD
-- Kofi, a tag team champion, is still a punching bag.
-- The IC title is a joke and so is this tournament so far. CM Punk vs. Snitsky? Really?
-- Something is wrong when I am not looking forward to a 3-hour Raw
-- Trips selling products after being robbed of his title last night. DX commercial was funny, but it can make you sort of gag. Are we wrestling fans or are we just mindless consumers?

FINAL VERDICT: A Little Absurd

LEAVING YOU WITH MY ABSURD THOUGHT

The Absurd Awards are coming! Plug plug plug! Thanks, WWE. I'm not a wrestling fan; I am a mindless consumer who spends all of my Christmas money on cruddy DX gear. DX is the new Rock 'n' Roll Express.

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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