By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Hey, I'm watching the Oscars here. This thing could be a glorified recap show.

The loveable jackasses JoMizzy cry in winning their award for best tag team. Yes you did! JoMo dropping that Chuck Norris is his idol just makes him cooler (credit to metrocolumnistsblog.dallasnews.com for pic).

"If you don't like JoMizzy, I'll kick your head in."

Lawler: "a one legged man in a certain kind of contest." Guess we can't say the word "ass" anymore on WWE programming. Maybe the time that WWE was showing Vince's ass at every conceivable opportunity sealed the deal. Nice huracanrana, and a near finish for JoMo. I really enjoyed this feud back in 2007. I still remember the match when Punk won the ECW championship for the first time.

Nice move by Cena to reference Jericho's "my son doesn't watch Raw" promo of last week. Too many times promos for an ongoing feud use the "paint by numbers" approach. Cena talks about how Jericho is a hypocrite. "Tonight I will give you a re-education of the word respect!" It is a bit odd for an office manager to duke it out with a hulking body builder wearing jeans shorts, but eh.

Mr. Knox does his trademark move (stare). Please, not a match for Bourne's Slammy Award. It would be like a bully stealing Bourne's lunch money in grade school. Mr. Fuzzy, Knox's beard, is getting crazier by the day.

Orton is Texas in the college football BCS complaining that he should be considered top talent. The Ortonholes go to Stephanie in order to change the match. It's not a bit surprising that WWE changes things around. When big time matches are announced for a TV show, you figure that you will not get "the real deal." Do I really want to see the Ortonholes vs. Dave & Trips? Not really.

Jimmy Rollins played his part well. I'm used to guys just sitting there and taking the abuse. Apparently M.V.C. won the "best impersonation award". Uh-huh. Sort of sad, but at least this MVP losing streak manages to stay somewhat fresh. MVP is now a comedy act.

Does the Kane DVD really have to be a three-disc set? A lot of these WWE DVDs feel like they are just padded. I don't want to buy three discs on the man. The main knock on WWE three-disc DVDs is that there are too many "filler matches" that aren't worth watching.

Jeff with no makeup shows up on Raw. Here you see how much gumption WWE has. When appearing in front of everybody to accept an award, you can't be "twisted" or wearing makeup. The last month of Smackdown, Jeff was losing it and giving promos like he was being tortured. I understand why they did it, but it was odd to see plain old Jeff.

The Slammy awards are just for show, but for the most part the winners are what people expected. The ECW announcing team winning the award showed that at least somebody pays attention to the reaction of the fans. WWE didn't really come off as out of touch with the fans.

Jericho's codebreaker move needed to be hyped up more. At times people forget that the move is even in Jericho's move list. Some people still think that the Walls of Jericho is his finishing move. And the codebreaker doesn't have the same "the match is over" effect like with the RKO.

Raw misses Jim Ross. Jim Ross showed that killer instinct tonight in hyping up the PPV.

Kane mentioning that he tombstone a priest made me laugh. The catchphrase of the year? "Excuse me." Just overwhelming hatred of Vickie. Not even Edge or Jericho could get that sort of reaction.

I enjoy comedy matches, and Hornswoggle and Finlay vs. Beth & Santino made me laugh. You wonder why they put the IC belt on Santino in the first place. I thought this part of the show flowed really well from one bit to the next.

Melina and Beth get it on. Santino gets taken to the hospital for severe damage to his testicles.

No DX commercial or WWE/GEICO commercial this time around. The wweshop.com commercial that had various snippets was a much better executed commercial.

Nice to see Joey Styles and C.M. Punk in Philly, but it felt a little awkward. Alicia Fox was rambling on about something when all I wanted was to hear from Styles. But sadly Styles just said his catchphrase and was shuffled back to his desk. I think for the most part the award winners could be well received, but there were some winners that are hard to swallow: Kozlov as the new breakout star? Punk's winning the World Heavyweight Championship over Cena's surprise Rumble entrance? But Punk got some air time... and he made WWE pay for it by doing a promo his way. This whole bit was somewhat uncomfortable.

Armageddon 2008: "Have fun storming the castle!"

Matt and Kennedy's suits were out of whack. It's always funny in how wrestlers wear really big suits that don't fit them.

"Please at least rent my movie! I'm Mister Kennedy! Kennedy!"

Nice touch by HBK by saying that the award will be "a wonderful reminder." Gave weight to getting an award. The big bully himself JBL comes in and tells HBK to pick up his dry cleaning.

Orton just looks better in the ring (credit to fye.com for pic).

With Orton, it is all about the little things. Cody was doing a chin lock and Orton added to it when he was on the apron. The facial expressions, the ability to convey a story in the ring... he just looks much better. He made that drabby and formulaic match worth watching. Orton is working hard so that he can be fully trusted once again. He was the star of that match.

Khali looks good in his suit. The Punjabi Playboy (credit to hindimoviesong.net for pic)

The only complaint about the whole "Damn" bit was that there weren't any midgets. To me, wrestling absurdity involves midgets. I think the waving of the American flags sealed the deal for me. It was amusing to see WWE go overbroad in just the sheer lunacy in the "Damn" bit. But it's understandable how it would make some people foam at the mouth with anger.

Dolph had to beat somebody. I don't get R-Truth. I haven't really enjoyed any of his matches. They're clunky as hell. Maybe Dolph, D.J., and Kozlov can have a triple threat match: The American, the European, and the Russian. Of course, Dolph and D.J. would get their asses kicked. I wonder how much longer this D.J. torture will continue.

Damn right it's Chris Jericho for superstar of the year. Nice move by WWE by not giving the award to Jeff, Trips, or Cena.

Nice moves leading up to the finish by Cena and Edge. Wasn't quite the all out brawl at the end, but it served its purpose.

POSITIVES

-- JoMizzy acceptance speech
-- Punk vs. John Morrison
-- Cena promo
-- MVP promo, Jimmy Rollins
-- Jeff vs. Jericho was standard
-- Heel heat on Vickie
-- Santino comedy yet again
-- Pushing Beth vs. Melina
-- Kofi vs. Mysterio
-- Some of the handling out of awards was good (Kane, HBK)
-- Randy Orton
-- "Damn" bit
-- Edge vs. John Cena
-- Was a better paced three-hour show compared to previous examples

NEGATIVES

-- Some awkwardness with some presenters handling out the awards
-- Knox loves to stare
-- Meh with the MVP vs. MVC match
-- Understandable that WWE wouldn't give away Trips vs. Dave, but was a bit cheap in changing the match
-- While it was nice to see Joey Styles, the whole thing was awkward with Punk
-- Dolph vs. R-Truth (both don't have very much substance in terms of wrestling)

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt