By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Jazz it up or play it slow
It's still the only song I know
It's 2 a.m. and traffic's slow
Another ladies' night in Buffalo

-- "Ladies Night In Buffalo?" by David Lee Roth

WWE Armageddon comes to you live this Sunday from Buffalo, New York. The Armageddon video packages show knights storming a castle or something. Bor-ring. It should be called "Financial Armageddon" with shots of Wall Street burning. As of right now there are only six official matches listed. Word on the street is that there might be a useless "lump them all together" diva match. No thanks.

What wrestlers have hometowns in your home state? The state in which I reside in (California) typically has "Hollywood" types like John Morrison, Melina, and Dolph Zwiggler. Meanwhile, over in Texas you got Mark Henry, Shawn Michaels, and Undertaker.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry - Belfast Brawl

Finlay and Henry continue their "stellar" feud shown on ECW that nobody is watching. look for this match to have some Hornswoggle, some Tony Atlas, and trash can lids shots. Mark Henry wants to digest Hornswoggle for a snack. Perhaps a breakup in the works for Atlas-Henry? Henry eats a DDT from Hornswoggle? Most likely Hornswoggle gets squashed and Henry will go, "Muhahahaha!"

VERDICT: Very Absurd

Probably some time devoted in the PPV to plug Kennedy's movie (credit to programwitch.com for pic)

"Ah I can't take anymore of your movie plugs!"

Rey Mysterio vs. C.M. Punk - IC Title Tournament Finals

Has a lot to work to do if it will match up to Rey Mysterio vs. Evan Bourne. Can't see Rey vs. William Regal for the title. Mike Knox might show up and surprise everyone by actually not staring and doing something. Meanwhile this could be the mid-card match that is stellar.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

ECW champion Matt Hardy vs. Vladmir Kozlov (Non-title)

Consider this the real PPV tryout for Kozlov. Matt is a good choice for him. Jack Swagger could make a splash and cost Hardy the victory. But one cannot shake the feeling that a lot of these matches are not worth buying. As of right now fans haven't see much of Kozlov in the ring to justify buying a PPV match featuring him.

VERDICT: Very Absurd

Beth vs. Melina (?)

Although not listed officially on their website, this match will probably take place since Beth's hometown is Buffalo, New York. Maybe an actual PPV women's match that I care about, due mainly to the two wrestlers involved in it. If nothing else, a skit involving Santino. And perhaps Trish Stratus will come by. Along with Christian, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, The Rock, and Vince in a wheelchair. Torrie as well (credit to onlinesport.ro for pic).

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

Batista vs. Orton

Dave vs. Orton, but they are bringing some kids along. Can't imagine Legacy (Cody, Manu) getting involved in some fashion. Orton has been impressive in his showings lately, while sadly Batista is once again boring. One cannot shake the feeling that this match will probably not be "the real deal," considering how much WWE wants to push Cody and his buddy Manu. I don't know what to expect from this match. This PPV simply could have benefited more by getting more time. I'm buying this match because of Orton.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge vs. Triple H for WWE Championship

You know that you are going to get the best effort from all men in this match, but it's hard to get excited for this match in terms of storyline. "Who attacked Jeff" is an intriguing story. Most likely Jeff and Trips will self destruct in some fashion while Edge picks up the pieces. Triple Threat matches are not really WWE's specialty nowadays. Don't know the ring shape of Edge either, and Jeff vs. Trips needs to take a breather. WWE is back on the Jeff train.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho For World Heavyweight Championship

I doubt that WWE would have Cena drop the title considering the distressing ratings for the Slammy Awards show. They cannot just do the Survivor Match over again (Jericho works on the neck, Cena comes back and wins). I will say it again: this PPV could have been much stronger if it had gotten more time.

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

MATCHES I WOULD PAY TO SEE

-- Cena vs. Jericho
-- Jeff vs. Edge vs. Trips (mainly because of past work)

MATCHES I AM UNSURE I WOULD PAY TO SEE

-- Dave vs. Orton (mainly because of Orton)
-- Beth vs. Melina(?)
-- Rey Mysterio vs. C.M. Punk

MATCHES THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD PAY TO SEE

-- Matt Hardy vs. Kozlov
-- Finlay vs. Mark Henry
-- Useless Diva Match

WWE is looking to set up for Rumble. There needs to be matches that save this PPV. I wouldn't expect an all-around great PPV like No Mercy months ago. For the casual fan did WWE do enough to build up this PPV? Simply no. They ran out of time.

Cena vs. Jericho and the Triple Threat match have some doubts about them, but hopefully both matches can turn in a solid performance. For the rest of the card it is all about execution. As a fan you are unsure in how they will execute these matches.

The question remains: are WWE PPVs that feature somebody returning worth buying? This type of PPV depends on how much you trust the WWE. Typically WWE make fans feel like buying the PPV was worth it (not the Scummy Series, though). Most fans will take a "wait and see" approach.

ARMAGEDDON VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt