By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Rhino vs. Sting for TNA heavyweight championship? Wow. Rhino vs. Angle was actually by comparison much easier to swallow. You almost feel that Rhino should be going after Booker's Legends championship, consider how he lost the Angle match.

Didn't A.J. Styles and Sting have a feud going here? And did Booker complain about not having a belt to carry around, so they made up one? "There you go, champ! You defended that belt once! All right, champ!"

TNA: "Uh oh, you caught us! You caught us! We're just making stuff up as we go along! We don't keep track of who wins or loses! Because it doesn't matter!"

Joe is going to kill you? The deadliest move in Joe's arsenal the last few weeks was taking off his shades. To be fair, it wasn't really his fault he was a transitional champion. Except for Angle, they never gave him a truly meaningful win and just bombarded him with "controversial" PPV endings. By comparison, C.M. Punk got a much better deal during his brief reign.

TNA: "Six minutes is too long for Shelley and Dutt! Our fans can't stay with us that long! Uh, um, throw Bashir out there making a frowny face! That will keep them tuned!"

Hopefully this Sarah Palin thing will just simply go away. But leave it to TNA to drag it out to January to do some more lame skits. Pssst...TNA...you're really late on the whole Palin thing. The election is already over. Her 15 minutes of fame already dried up. Just want you to know that. Unless you feel that the Republicans haven't suffered enough.

Did MEM use the word "gangbang?"

Hey there, "free balling" Christy and trashy humor with ODB. Hey there robotic Rhaka Khan. Thanks, fake Palin. Thanks for ruining the Knockout division. I would just tune in to see ODB vs. any face. But because TNA is so smart, they matched her up with a hack named Khan. Captain James Kirk never had to face something this bad (credit to daveandthomas.net for pic)

"KHAN!"

Hey there folks, this bad tag team match will end pretty soon. Angle is coming up next! Stay tuned! You know, they could really cut time if they just had Booker and Steiner walk to the ring, say "We're the best!" and then walk out. MEM is doing a pretty good job of making fans not want to watch their weekly bore-a-thon tag team matches.

Hey look, shots of Jarrett's daughters.

Oh no, Jarrett's upset. Oh no, what will he do? Oh no, why did Jarrett agree to have those family shots used during Angle's slideshow? Angle just crossed the line!

Can you handle the sweetness of Shane Sewell the ref? Watcha gonna do, brother?

Attaboy, Foley. Your hands are tied. You can't do anything about MEM's evil actions because they are a ratings draw. What a good lesson for the young ones. Soon you know Foley will be shuffling in supermarkets, wishing to avoid any sort of responsibility and looking for half & half (credit to bp0.blogger.com for pic).

"Ok, we'll put MEM and Frontline in a cage! Because at the end we really want that "NWO beatdown" in a cage! It's so graphic and bloody! We never seen anything like it! We're serious! Uh? Actual match? Screw that! It's all about the soap opera!"

Next Impact, Foley will give an angry promo against MEM. And then join them! Oh no! Will Frontline ever look strong? Will an X Division match go seven minutes ... without outside distraction or NASCAR announcers? I know. I ask too much.

Will they simply write the fake Palin off of TV? And how will they make Rhino vs. Sting for the TNA world heavyweight championship even plausible for fans? Hint: It ain't done by beating up jobbers! "Wow, he just beat up a jobber! Next up, the world heavyweight championship!"

Maybe this year won't have another "Christmas" special. There's always next week, but you figure that they wouldn't go down that route again. You know. Have Matt Morgan and Jim Cornette do a bit where "That Christmas show got really high ratings!" Uh huh.

Due to Foley's "Hey dude, just take it easy, man" attitude and Angle's anger management issues, looks like TNA is turning Foley and Angle into The Dude and Walter from the cult film "The Big Lebowski" (credit to 50mmlosangeles.com for pic)

On the next Impact, Angle brandishes a firearm in bug-eyed Jeremy Borash's face. "I need this gun, JB. I need it to protect my brothers. I'm not safe. The MEM needs to be protected. Evil WWE people are out there. I don't get it. I'm a nice guy. Why does Jarrett want to beat me up, much less fire me? It's because I'm a ratings draw. And if you are a rating draws, well, you can get away with a whole month of hinting to visit your boss's daughters! I need this gun to protect MEM! Because we're not powerful enough! Did you say something Borash? Did you? Huh? Did you?"

IMPACT VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

On Smackdown, change is in the air. Sort of. Jeff urged fans to jump up and down on their couch. A good kind of crazy.

Speaking about change, looks like they are setting up for Helms to take the U.S. title from Benjamin. The only real feud Benjamin has had on Smackdown is with R-Truth, and that didn't really go anywhere.

I did laugh at "DX technical difficulties." Barring the Elimination Chamber commercial, these were worth chuckling at.

Prime candidates in who attacked Jeff? Cena, Christian, and Matt.

Good announcing psychology for Edge. Fans got the picture of how stressed and tense Edge was during this week.

Carlito looks more motivated in the ring. Mind you, I am comparing to the time when his claim to fame was fighting with a seagull and running into walls after Hornswoggle. Ross drops that Kendrick/Ezekiel are shooting for the Carlito/Primo tag team titles. You mean a wrestler actually has to win against credible opponents in order to become contenders? Sure easier in TNA, when guys like Rhino suddenly get a title shot.

Kozlov could become a "problem solver" for Edge. Can't imagine Trips vs. Kozlov at the Rumble one-on-one. Probably Edge vs. Jeff so that it is a true test for WWE champ Jeff.

POSITIVES

-- Opening
-- Matt vs. Edge

NEGATIVES

-- Action in-ring wasn't so hot tonight, but served its purpose.
-- Please, please not another "Mark Henry-Mae Young relationship" thing with the Great Khali.

SMACKDOWN VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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