By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

"The problems of the world today are bigger than life
You have recessions and depressions...
It's called survival and only the strong can survive"
- "The Message II (Survival)" by Grandmaster Flash And The Furious Five

The Royal Rumble comes your way this Sunday. Who will survive the Rumble match? Will Swagger survive with his ECW championship? Will HBK's integrity survive? Will Jeff Hardy be able to survive his mysterious attacks? And will you be able to survive the absurd use of the word survive? Read on and find out.

Matt Hardy vs. Eric Bischoff Jack Swagger for ECW Championship

Rumblings have started that Swagger's ECW championship reign was too soon. That being said, look for Swagger to get the convincing win here. Matt Hardy can seemingly have a really good match with nearly anybody (Kozlov comes to mind).

VERDICT: A Little Absurd

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina for Women's Championship

It's been a long while since there was a WWE women's PPV match worth getting interested in. I suppose WWE will be tempted to throw in Santino and Rosa, but frankly all I am looking forward to in this match is to make the women's division interesting again.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge for WWE Championship

If Christian is going to make his mark, now would be the time to do so. Smackdown as of late has been twiddling its thumbs with Jeff interviews and endless "Trips Is Superman" bits. WWE has done of good job of painting Edge as "middle of the road." Viewers could predict Edge as the mastermind of the attacks, but viewers could also see him square off against Christian for ruining his chance to regain the title.

In that sense, the "whodunit" storyline overshadows the actual match. Because he was mostly featured in interviews and "cop footage," it hasn't been the strongest of buildups for Jeff as champion. I like what they have done with both Edge and Jeff, but for the most part the buildup to this match seemed to be dragging during this month.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

John Cena vs. JBL (w/HBK) for Heavyweight Championship

This match reminds me of the battle between Luke Skywalker and The Emperor in Star Wars "Return of The Jedi." I'm not a big Star Wars guy, but I saw some similarities. Luke keeps urging Darth Vader to do the right thing. "I sense much good in you." Meanwhile Vader is adamant in telling Luke that he cannot change his mind, and that if his own son must be killed in order for the Dark Side to grow stronger, then so be it. In the actual battle between Luke (Cena) and The Emperor (JBL), the audience awaits to see what Vader (HBK) will do.

As stated before, I'm not a big fan of Cena vs. JBL by itself in really any form, but I admit that the inclusion of HBK in the corner of JBL made this match interesting. Another reason why I like this match is that it's not a foregone conclusion (from the fans's standpoint) in what is going to happen. With this match, fans take a "wait and see" approach.

VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

ROYAL RUMBLE

The heavy favorites are Undertaker, Randy Orton, and Chris Jericho. The over-pushed would be Trips. I don't see Trips winning this thing.

VERDICT: ?

MATCHES I WOULD PAY TO SEE
-- Jeff vs. Edge

MATCHES I AM UNSURE I WOULD PAY TO SEE
-- Cena vs. JBL
-- Matt vs. Swaggah
-- Beth vs. Melina
-- Royal Rumble

MATCHES THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD PAY TO SEE
-- None, PPV is pretty solid

ROYAL RUMBLE VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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