By Shane McKinkley, Torch specialist

"Hand over my face. I am related to my enemy...
Because my big brother don't want to just let me be"
-- "Brother" by Pearl Jam

Enjoyed the Swaggah-Hardy match. Nowadays if WWE puts a Matt Hardy match on a PPV, fans will be more motivated to buy.

The male model himself Randy Orton walks into the arena with his fashionable coat. Nobody talks to him because he happened to kick Vince in the head. There was a sign in the crowd tonight that said, "Vince = Unkillable Legend." You punted the lovable old man who gave away free money! You're evil!

I watch Melina matches with a lump in my throat because I fear that she's going to injure herself. The move of the night was Beth pulling Melina's leg and hitting her in the head with it. Beth for a little bit was going into Awesome Kong territory.

Possible Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker at WrestleMania down in Houston? Reading internet reports about the possibility of Mickey Rourke at WrestleMania 25 is interesting.

I keep seeing Under Armour's logo in WWE: On Cena's shoes, on HBK's shirt, and on Miz's gloves.

That Cena vs. JBL match was really not what fans expected. Many fans believed that it would be a well-planned match filled with HBK's interference. But in reality, this could had been a TV match, with all of the camera shots to HBK "not moving a muscle." Great. Hearing Lawler and Cole hype up that just the mere presence of HBK standing there had a huge effect on Cena. Right. The match served its part, but it wasn't really memorable.

Got the sense that the crowd was mainly pro-Edge, but after the scary Jeff plunge onto the table, that move won over many of the crowd. Jeff is truly fearless, as I get nervous myself just taking down Christmas lights at my house. (Yes, I waited this long.)

Jeff's big brother, Matt, is the main culprit. Jeff vs. Edge was the match of the night (credit to funcool.ca for pic).

For some reason I keep expecting Jericho to drop juvenile names like "assclown." Jericho really has a strong character right now. Some wrestlers keep doing their own shtick and never change.

The move is called "Skinning the cat." The move itself is used over and over. Mysterio stepping on the backs of JoMizzy to escape disqualification was interesting, but this Rumble was marked by a slow middle and a somewhat uninspiring roster.

When RVD came out, a little voice inside me screamed, "Go after Triple H! Go after Triple H!" Stars of the match were MVP, Big Show, Hacksaw, and Mysterio. (credit to anniemayhem.com for pic).

They brought out the puny comedy heels in a row (Kendrick, Ziggler, Santino). Crowd was disappointed that Santino didn't play a larger role tonight.

When Big Show came out at #30, this was the feeling that was felt: "Oh, I guess that's it." RVD was a nice surprise, but this Rumble could have done better with some truly surprise guests.

Was this PPV really worth buying? Not really. The main focus of tonight was to entice viewers into checking out WWE in the following months. The question of Orton being in WrestleMania and the story of Matt are pretty good hooks. If you got the results of the PPV, you wouldn't be very tempted to check out the PPV. (credit to i10.tinypic.com for pic).

Now, if you excuse me, I have to point at the WrestleMania star until Raw starts.

POSITIVES
-- Jeff vs. Edge (Not Christian, but Matt works just fine)
-- Matt vs. Swagger
-- Beth vs. Melina (resisted Santino, Rosa interference)

NEGATIVES
-- Rumble was not really worth watching again
-- Cena vs. JBL was a one trick pony

RUMBLE VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt