By Lee Stevens, PWTorch specialist

Thank you for joining me as put Raw "Under The Microscope." This is not a complete recap of the show, instead it's a closer look at what happened, what was said or anything else that crossed my mind during the broadcast.

Signs, signs, everywhere signs

Congratulations to the Texas faithful in producing several candidates for "Sign of the night."

"RKO Me, It's My Birthday" isn't just a signal that something is askew with your wish list, it's also surprisingly appropriate, considering that Randy Orton is also celebrating a birthday this week. Orton will turn 29 on April 1 and luckily he finished his promo just in time to celebrate.

"Cena owns Dwayne Johnson" could be true if John Cena is playing in a fantasy actor game, otherwise you can give the advantage to the man formerly known as "The Rock."

Johnson has nine World Championships to Cena's four and the box office advantage also smells what The Rock is cooking. Granted, you can't go by simply the number of movies since Cena is just starting in Hollywood, but taking averages, The Rock's eleven movies before this year grossed an average of $120,922,080, with "The Mummy Returns" pulling in the high number of more than $433,000,000 worldwide.

As for Cena, "The Marine" brought in $22,000,000 worldwide. More recently, The Rock's "Race to Witch Mountain" earned $24,402,214 in its opening weekend, while Cena's latest, "12 Rounds" started with $5,329,240.

All is not lost for Cena. He appeared as a guest judge on "Nashville Star" in 2006, something Dwayne Johnson has never accomplished. Owned!

"I skipped school for WWE" (Live)
"Eugene is in my class" (Footage from WM XI)
I'm sure he'll let you borrow his work. He's very nice.

Suddenly, I'm a Mavericks fan

Thank you to Kelly Kelly for doing more for a Dirk Nowitzki jersey than he's ever done for it. The 2007 NBA Most Valuable Player provided the ring attire for her during the Divas Tag Team match. Although Nowitzki has always played for Dallas since being drafted, the Mavs weren't the team to pick him. The man who now wears #41 was actually picked by Milwaukee and traded to Dallas for Robert "Tractor" Traylor.

Hello and goodbye

If you thought that the ring introductions for all 18 Divas would take longer than the actual match, you aren't the only one. We will never officially know since one half of the participants started in the ring without intros, but 18 Divas competed in a match which took roughly two minutes. At 120 seconds, that works out to roughly 6.6 seconds of ring action per Diva, assuming all of them would have actually entered the ring.

Santino

A man who can mix Jack Tunney, Gloria Steinem, and Davey Crockett in a matter of seconds is welcome at The Microscope. Jack Tunney was the on-air President of the WWF in the 1980s and into the '90s, ruling on such issues as Ted DiBiase buying the title from Andre The Giant and Ric Flair bringing the "real" World Championship to the WWF. Before a time when the on-air authority figures would jump right into the drama inside the ring, Tunney generally made his announcements via video before being replaced on-air by Gorilla Monsoon. Away from the WWF, he was a promoter in Canada and passed away in 2004.

When Santino claimed to be an "equal-rights pioneer," he picked a good role model. Steinem led the charge for women's rights throughout the 1960s and into the '70s, supporting the Equal Rights Amendment. Crockett satisfies the pioneer portion of the nickname as he explored deep in the heart of Texas, eventually meeting his demise at The Alamo. Just a reminder, there's no basement at The Alamo.

As for Santino's wardrobe for the evening, it was referred to as a "mankini," which should have looked familiar to anyone who is a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen. In the movie, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," he models the stylish swimwear.

Fans of "The Soup" on E! will also know that "Mankini" is the name of one of the recurring characters, a rather hairy gentleman who wears a bikini, although not the same style as the one modeled by Santino and Borat. Comedian Jim Carrey has also been photographed on the beach wearing a mankini. I decided to not post the picture here. You're welcome.

Long live The King

I've received e-mails complaining about the use of Jerry Lawler on Monday. If you're complaining that they should have used him sooner, I will agree with that. If you're insisting that he should have been a more formidable opponent for Chris Jericho, I will respectively disagree. Jerry Lawler is a deserving member of the WWE Hall of Fame. He's also going to be 60 years old this November. The full-time announcer got in his share of clean shots to Jericho, but I appreciated the quick tapout. It seemed to be an appropriate time considering one of the participants qualified for the American Association of Retired Persons nearly a decade ago.

For me, the biggest surprise was no appearance from Stone Cold Steve Austin in regards to the Jericho vs. The Legends match. I know he won't actually wrestle, but I assumed we would at least have a Stone Cold moment before the weekend.

What?

Apparently sound doesn't travel well when you've been in a casket. Credit to the WWE for replaying the footage of Shawn Michaels appearing in the coffin headed into a commercial break. If you missed the replay, he said "You were expecting someone else?" I appreciated the twist, but it did seem to echo his Smackdown surprise. Obviously, it wasn't exactly the same in content, but it continued the theme of outsmarting The Undertaker.

I was surprised to see Michaels get in another superkick on The Dead Man as I guessed The Undertaker would earn a measure of revenge on Monday. This could still happen on Smackdown, but as of right now, Michaels has mocked the graveyard, the funerals and shared a few well-placed boots, while The Undertaker still seeks revenge.

1st and 11

The ghost of WrestleMania past brought us footage of WM XI which featured an NFL-inspired Main Event. Lawrence Taylor defeated Bam Bam Bigelow in front of several of his football friends, including Carl Banks, Chris Spielman, and Rickey Jackson. LT wasn't the only former gridiron great to enter the ring from that night as Reggie White and Steve McMichael also joined him at ringside at WM XI. Most remember "Mongo" McMichael's work in WCW with The Four Horseman and as an announcer. White fought McMichael at Slamboree in 1997.

As for the wrestlers from that night who are still active in the WWE, The Undertaker defeated King Kong Bundy and Shawn Michaels lost to Diesel.

Finally

"So, you'd like to work security?"

"Yes, it's always been a dream of mine."

"Can you stand up?"

"Yes."

"Can you stand up with your arms folded?"

"Absolutely."

"How do you feel about wearing matching shirts?"

"I love it."

"Okay, what would you do if someone attacked you?"

"I don't understand."

"What if someone confronted you and tried to punch you?"

"Who is it?"

"Hypothetically, it's a guy in his late thirties who is in charge of our Global Media Division, plus he's probably with his 65-year-old dad."

"Do they sneak up on me?"

"No, they'll probably play music for a bit and then stand in front of you"

"Wow. This is tough."

"So, if you they attacked you, what would you do?"

"I guess I would let them."

"You're hired."

Lee Stevens goes "Under The Microscope" for Raw and Smackdown. You can leave comments below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt