By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

"Call your name every day
When I seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down
But I'll rise above this,
Rise above this doubt"
-"Rise Above This" by Seether

About Raw: they still haven't addressed actually why Randy Orton still is employed by WWE, since he has the nasty habit, of, um, injuring their top stars. "No fire" clause. Vince is his secret lover. Something.

Trips comes to save the day...and to restart the Orton-Trips feud. When a feud has home invasions and family members getting punted already, where else can you go?

In the start of this year, I was protecting Orton. Now Orton's free game. Sorry, Orton. I'm breaking up with you. You're no longer my fave. Can I get a decent Orton PPV match? Or Orton not sounding like a complete WWE tool during his promos? Randy Orton has punted everybody in the damn WWE and I'm struggling in exactly why Orton's stuff is supposed to be any better than what Jericho can do with a mic, a mask, and a mat.

So here it is. I am rooting hard for Triple H to completely dominate in this feud. Hell, give Orton 20 pedigrees in a row.




About the championship picture: they'll make up some bull story about how the title is vacant due to Batista being injured and thus next week it's Trips vs. Orton for the WWE title.

Onto Raw: That opening sure was depressing. As fun as a funeral. Damn, Batty. You were with us for a grand total of two months. Now the announcers are announcing in grave undertones just like how they did with the death of Vince McMahon and the potential death of Hornswoggle.

And how nobody bothered to help poor Batista. No, seriously dog, I was kinda expecting Brother Ray to beat up Legacy.

To lighten the mood...here comes Kofi. The big jumping fake Jamaican. I don't know. Maybe I need something more than two minute Kofi matches before I start to consider him the "future of Raw."

Okay, Stamford. Let the Hog Pen Match go. We're relieved that it wasn't as horrible as we feared. Don't go pumping it up like Santino comedy is gold.

Jamie Noble, Brian Kendrick, and Chavo Guerro are stuck losing to the weirdos? Sad. Sure glad the kids are rolling on the floor guffawing of this WWE comedy. Hell, let's just future endeavor the entire damn roster and have only John Cena, The Great Khali, and Hornswoggle on the roster.

As it is going right now, The Bash will feature Miz submitting to John Cena. The announcers have a big laugh about how Miz bit off more than he could chew ("but he did look impressive"). I can't understand why a lot of people want Miz vs. Cena at the Bash. I don't have a lot of hope that Miz will come out of this program looking good.

Tonight they trotted out the big loser Show. Come on, Show. You ain't never gonna win over Cena. Let it go. For my sake.

Is anybody reacting to the Matt's injured hand angle anymore?

Big gossip news: Edge and Vickie are getting a divorce. Awww. Apparently a new Raw GM is coming in to save Raw from itself. Ric Flair? Stephanie McMahon? Shane McMahon? Batista? (Considering how things are going, why the hell not? "Ha ha ...cough...well, I'm putting you in a triple threat match! Arghhhh! Dave smash!")

Big ups to WWE if they actually point out that "Raw has gotten stupid."

Cena does a promo claiming that Cena goodness will be laid upon Miz.

Bad show. The wrestling was weak, short, and forgettable. Hell, WWE is putting more emphasis in some throwaway Oddities match than the rest of the card. WWE is got to give me a good reason to even bother watching the rest of the show now. Holla if you hear me: you tune in for the opening, the Miz bit, and the conclusion. That's it.

The main story of the night was Batista being injured, which the Internet crowd already knew about. Triple H-Orton feud a third time around? Take a hint, WWE. The first two tries didn't work.

But seeing how you got nothing else for Raw, my only wish is that Triple H utterly and totally dominates Randy Orton. I've turned on Orton's character and in Raw in general. Won't be before long a special "Summer Draft" will happen to salvage Raw. Of course, they could take a good hard look on the putrid stinkfest that is Raw, but that isn't going to happen.

Raw's Verdict: A Huge Pile of Stinking Absurdity (NUKE)

(credit to images.icnetwork.co.uk for pic)

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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