By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

"I see my reflection in the window
It looks different, so different than what you see
Projecting judgment on the world
This house is clean baby...
Look out my window and see it's gone wrong
Court is in session and I slam my gavel down
I'm judge and I'm jury and I'm executioner too"
-"Dirty Window" by Metallica

WWE Smackdown 9/4 Thoughts

-We're all digging C.M. Punk right now. WWE won't go into heavy stuff. They'll stick with Punk railing against alcoholism and drug abuse. The message itself can get boring, but what really sells it is Punk himself.

Punk's character has that psychotic vibe to it. I know that WWE doesn't like small guys, but Punk right now is dangerous to be in the ring with. He's willing to sacrifice in order to put you out of commission and to prove everybody wrong.

-- Punk three months ago: "You're an enabler. You're a slave. Don't drink. Don't smoke. Blah blah blah."
-- My reaction: "Buzz off, pipsqueak".

-- Punk nowadays: "You're an enabler. You're a slave. You drink three cans of Dr. Pepper a day. And I'm going to beat the crap out of you till you stop."
-- My reaction: "I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!"

-Mike Knox would have been brought in as "Professor Pain" back in the '80s. Huge lab coat and spectacles. "This man feels no pain, and he likes to dish out pain!" They would have brought him in to face Undertaker. Knox would have stolen the magical urn...you can figure out the rest.

-Concerning the Vince McMahon and Teddy Long skit from Smackdown, if there's anything that WCW DVD will teach people, it's the fact that people will insert themselves into bits for no real good reason other than to feed their ego. No Vinnie, I've rather get incompetent guest hosts on Raw stumbling over words and shouting out that we should all buy "Leaking Joint" cuz it's gonna be like the 4th of July.

-For some odd reason, I find myself thinking that Kevin Nash was pretty cool for holding people down in WCW. To quote Nas, "Gangsters do what they want, suckers take what they can." And hey, how could you have respect for the bizness the second when you became "The Oz?"

-Concerning the Mysterio vs. John Morrison match, what can I say? It was awesome. I have felt that during **** or ***** matches, a "window" opens and I get sucked in. I get caught up with the story being told and I can't look away. Indeed, it was awesome.

Dolph Ziggler was "intently watching the match." You know how it goes. Eyes focused in like lasers beams. Rubbing his chin. Studying his match so seriously he might as well been watching the childbirth of Jesus Christ.

You know how I watch a wrestling match? Usually I pick lint out of my belly button when I'm sprawled out on the couch.

You know how DX watches a wrestling match? They watch the WCW DVD instead and think up lines about them being tigers and hanging off people's nutsacks or something.

-Mysterio's been set-up. And John Morrison is the best choice out of the young talents to have a four-star match.

See you next Smackdown, where Vince will fire Teddy Long and bring his boy Chris Masters over as a top face to feud with Punk. Very stupid, but possible. Beware!

(credit to tvtel.pt and simpsoncrazy.com for pics)

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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