By Curtis Shanks, PWTorch Specialist

Welcome to the TNA Impact edition of Under the Microscope. This is not a detailed recap of the show, but a review for those of you that saw the show but didn't actually "watch" it. We're here to point out those little tidbits you may have missed, make some random observations, or use a little research to dig deeper into what was on the show. Cue the opening pyro.

Sparkly glittery vampires

In a bit of good news this week, the Guns are back out for another round of commentary. Their humor and wit turns to the topic of vampires during the Suicide vs. Dinero match early in the show. They talk about Dinero's large DVD collection, and jokingly talk about his love for Twilight. Mike Tenay chimes in about his love for the HBO series True Blood.

This is normally the point where I segue into a bit of history or info on the aforementioned subjects, but I need to be honest. I don't know jack about Twilight - and I prefer it that way. I've heard about the premise (sparkly vampires?) and have seen how it affects people, so I decided to just take a step back on that one. I have heard positive things about True Blood, but am still awaiting the arrival of some DVD boxsets so I can judge for myself.

I'm a comedy guy, so my vampire preferences still sit with Mel Brooks and Leslie Nielsen for Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Of course, number one has still got to be The Count from Sesame Street. One children's TV show reference...ha ha ha. Yeah, probably won't see number two.

Brothers don't shake hands, brother's gotta hug

As Eric Young is backstage talking about the World Elite's attempts to persuade Hernandez to join the faction, he brings up their match at No Surrender this Sunday. Young doesn't want to fight Hernandez, and tells him "Know this. You're my brother. And I would never fight my own brother. I would never raise my hand against my own brother." EY is counting on Hernandez to have a short memory, as we saw this quote was not true just last week.

Last week, as Hernandez is baited to the ring to rescue Homicide, he is attacked by the World Elite members. Eric Young (like any good heel faction leader) bails out of the ring and lets his lackeys do the work. Young does manage to sneak up behind Hernandez and attempt a chair shot before it is thwarted, causing EY to once again bail. Guessing Hernandez didn't forget that in one week.

To shoot or not to shoot

Rhino gets some time on the mic this week, and cuts a promo about not playing politics and being passed over in TNA. It was a scripted promo, but a lot of what Rhino said resembled insider quotes, rather than quotes normally heard during a TV promo.

"TNA decided, let's give Rhino a little push."
"What do you give me TNA? You give me Jesse Neal."
"I agreed to train Jesse. TNA said, wow, we could do something with that."

TNA loves to push the envelope and try to appease the insider fans with terms and references, but it has a negative effect. Language like this all but acknowledges that what is taking place is simply a storyline. I know you want a bigger role and an increased presence on TV, but Rhino, You Can't Do That on Television. I was wrong, there's children's show reference number two.

During the Rhino promo, he brings up his former drinking problem and how TNA decided to exploit it on TV (another storyline acknowledgment). For those that don't remember, Rhino was in that program with the TNA talent most notorious for drinking, James Storm. After victories, Storm would pour his beer in the mouth of the then babyface Rhino. The feud culminated with the second ever (and apparently last) Elevation X match with Rhino defeating Storm.

The camera adds ten pounds

The Guns rejoin on commentary during the Alissa Flash and Cody Deaner lumberjill match, with Alex Shelley adding in a few unfair comments. He puts over the size of Flash compared to Deaner, and talks about how she is a "big woman." He also mentions how she is "nearly six feet tall." I describe the comments as unfair because Alissa Flash is a very attractive person in my opinion (please be reading!). Her official measurements list her at a respectable 142 lbs. with a height of 5'8". Not quite six feet tall.

Exit, stage left

As we come back from a commercial, Abyss has tracked Lauren down and voices his frustrations with how things transpired earlier with Mick Foley. If you remember, the segment right before the commercial saw Lauren interviewing Team 3D and Beer Money about the Lethal Lockdown match this Sunday. With only one commercial break separating the two segments, I have to compliment TNA for their location of the Abyss segment.

In the background of Abyss and Lauren, a mere 20 feet away, you can see the interview set from the previous segment. It's not only logical that Abyss would go to that location to find her, but it's also logical that that is where the confrontation would take place since Lauren was just conducting an interview there one segment ago. The topics column heading is children's show reference number three for you Snagglepuss fans out there.

I prefer sirloin

With Scott Steiner in action, it gives Taz the chance to talk about the t-bone suplex. Taz mentions how he is credited with inventing the move, but Steiner was one of the first to use it and make it famous. The t-bone suplex is also known simply as an exploder suplex. Taz did make the move his, naming it the T-Bone Tazplex during his career. Taz and Steiner are not the only two to routinely use the move, as it is a favorite of Shelton Benjamin over on ECW as well.

Calling all Angelina Love look-alikes

The tournament is nearly complete, as this week we found out it will be Taylor and Sarita vs. Love and Sky at No Surrender to crown the first ever Knockout Tag Team champions. But there is a cloud of uncertainty hanging over the match due to Love's recent and abrupt departure from TNA. This week's show was taped before her visa problems arose, but to the TV viewer Love will still be competing this Sunday in the match.

Despite TNA still presenting the match as Love and Sky vs. Taylor and Sarita, TNA has already removed Love's bio and photos from their website. It is a tough situation, but the non-insider fan must be a little confused if they notice she was on TV this week and is still being promoted for the match, but has been removed completely from the website.

A classy move

A video is shown this week about TNA and the NFL's Kyle Vanden Bosch teaming up for the Boys and Girls Club charity. Vanden Bosh is a defensive linemen playing for the Tennessee Titans. He has previously played for the Arizona Cardinals and spent his college days in corn country at the University of Nebraska. He grew up and played his high-school ball back in my old home state, Iowa, in a small town called Inwood.

Vanden Bosh has partnered with TNA before, but the first time was more of a storyline based partnership. Slammiversary 2007 saw the tag team of Jerry Lynn and then Titan's tight end Frank Wycheck team up to defeat the team of James Storm and Ron Killings. Wycheck won the match with Vanden Bosch in his corner, hitting the cradle piledriver for the victory.

Vanden Bosch is in no way a professional wrestler, but if he decided to try his hand at it he could make some history. In about as random of an observation as you could get, I can't think of any other professional wrestler who has appeared on the national scene with the first name of Kyle. It's a very common name, but aside from maybe an obscure independent wrestler and ROH announcer Kyle Durden, it's a name I can't ever remember seeing in the wrestling world.

While we're talking about random observations

For the past year, the Main Event Mafia has been dominating TNA TV. Tons of matches, promos and storylines have all been centered around the group. But TNA TV shows don't even have a main event. According to ring announcer Dave Penzer, our last match on the shows is not the main event, but is the "feature contest." Don't think Feature Contest Mafia has quite the same ring to it.

Fans of children's TV shows may appreciate the references to some shows from the past this week, but not all could be mentioned. I would like to apologize to fans of Double Dare, Hey Dude!, Wild and Crazy Kids, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Hong Kong Phooey, and Beakman's World. Better luck next week.

Numbers crunch - TV match types

When you look at all the different types of matches that can be presented in wrestling, the combinations are endless. One-on-one, tag team, triple threat, battle royal, 2-on-1, four-way - the possibilities go on and on. But how often have we seen the different styles of matches on TV this year in WWE and TNA?

TNA loves to self-promote themselves by touting their tag team division. There is some truth to their claim, as we see more tag team matches in TNA than in WWE. Before tonight, 27.1 percent of the matches shown on Impact were a standard two-on-two tag team match. Only 17.9 percent of WWE's TV matches shown this year across their four shows fit that category. Impact does have some competition if we break apart the WWE shows individually as 23.2 percent of the matches on Smackdown have been a tag team contest. ECW is the worst show for fans of tag team wrestling, as only 11.7 percent of their matches this year have been two-on-two match-ups.

TNA also loves to hype their women's division, with the numbers also backing that up. On Impact, 22.9 percent of the matches this year have featured at least one female competitor. Raw is the second best show for women's matches at 19.9 percent of the time, while ECW is dead last at only 5.0 percent. As a whole, WWE has given us a women's match 15.3 percent of the time this year.

With TNA leading the way in presenting tag team matches, that means WWE is the favorite choice to watch a standard one-on-one match. Just over half, 53.7 percent, of TNA's matches this year fit that qualification, while WWE simplifies things with a one-on-one match 69.1 percent of the time. ECW is the top show for this style of match, as we've seen it 79.8 percent of the time. In fact, after a tag team main event on the June 30 edition of ECW, we saw a string of 27 consecutive one-on-one matches presented over eight weeks until a tag team match during the main event of the August 18 show.

Curtis Shanks is a self-described wrestling nerd who, contrary to popular belief, does have a social life. Feedback is welcome as comments, suggestions and questions can be sent to Curtis at curtisshanks.torch@gmail.com.

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