KELLER'S WWE ARMAGEDDON PPV REPORT
When: November 12, 1999
Where: Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.
By Wade Keller, Torch editor
(Live from Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.): After a montage summarizing the Stephanie McMahon, Test, Triple H, Vince McMahon storyline, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the program.
(1) The Acolytes eliminated The Hardy Boys at 10:57 to win a tag team battle royal and earn a tag title shot at the Royal Rumble. Others in the match: The Mean Street Posse, The Head Bangers, Too Cool, Mark Henry & Godfather, Edge & Christian, The Dudleys. Nondescript battle royal action until the final three minutes with Acolytes vs. Hardys, which was great. (**)
(2) Kurt Angle pinned Steve Blackman at 6:42. Better than you'd expect, ending with a belly-to-back into a bridge. Blackman whacked Angle after the match. (**)
(3) Miss Kitty won a four-woman swimming pool match over Barbara Bush, Ivory, and Jacqueline at 2:53. The match took place in a swimming pool. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young were at ringside as special guest referees. Lawler remarked about Young's dress, "She got that from the original Cleopatra." The women threw each other into the pool and wrestled around in the water for a couple of minutes. Jackie was the first to be stripped of her nightgown. She left covering her breasts which were falling out of her bra. When B.B. got eliminated, Ivory tried to rip off her bra. After a long struggle, Kitty yanked Ivory back into the pool. Lawler said Kitty applied a "Greco Roman Zipper Lock" on Ivory. After Miss Kitty won, she said she didn't want to disappoint her fans, so he took off her nightgown. Then she took off her bra revealing her naked breasts for two seconds before Sgt. Slaughter covered her with a towel. Mae Young then got on the stage and said she didn't want to disappoint her fans. She then took off her nightgown revealing her bra and panties. Sarge covered her up quickly with a towel and whisked her away before she cleared the building by showing more skin. As sexist and degrading as this type of match is, the women seemed to have more fun than most WWF and WCW wrestlers do during their matches. [NR]
(4) The Hollys beat Viscera & Rikishi Phatu when Hardcore pinned Phatu at 4:23. Viscera and Phatu didn't get along during the match and fought afterward. Rikishi had Crash down, but Viscera accidentally kicked him. Hardcore then scored the quick pin. Actually okay action. (*1/2)
(5) Val Venis defeated British Bulldog and D-Lo Brown at 9:15 to win a three-way match and win the European Title. The ref ordered the Mean Street Posse to the back before the match. Some mistimed moves and no heat hurt an otherwise cleverly structured match. The finish was unique. D-Lo hit the frog splash on Bulldog, but then Val hit both with the Money Shot. He shoved D-Lo off of Bulldog and scored the pin himself. (*)
(6) Kane beat X-Pac in a cage match at 9:00. Lawler said when Tori first saw Kane naked, she said, "Well I guess I'm the early bird." They worked hard, but there were spots in the match that didn't get the expected pops. At 3:15 X-Pac DDT'd Kane, but the crowd didn't react much. There was only a small pop for Kane catching X-Pac by the throat as he came off the ropes. At 4:00 the Outlaws ran to ringside and cut off the chain locking the door. Then they opened the door. Kane came to the door, so they slammed the door on his face. X-Pac then hit Kane with the X-Factor and then handcuffed him to the cage. The crowd got really into the match at this point with a huge "X-Pac sucks" chant. At 7:00 Kane broke the chain just in time to stop X-Pac from climbing over the top of the cage to win the match. He actually left the cage and caught X-Pac on his shoulders as X-Pac was about to drop to the floor. He then carried him back into the ring and climbed to the top of the cage. He then leaped off the top of the cage with a clothesline onto X-Pac, then followed up with a tombstone piledriver and scored the pin. (***1/4)
(7) Chris Jericho beat Chyna with the Walls of Jericho at 10:19 to capture the WWF Intercontinental Title. Early in the match Jericho suplexed Chyna onto a table at ringside. Chyna dropkicked a chair into Jericho's face. Jericho whipped Chyna into the ringside stairs. Chyna took a hard bump. Jericho then forced a kiss onto Miss Kitty (right in front of real-life squeeze Lawler). Chyna low-blowed Jericho to take control, then hit her signature handspring elbow followed by a DDT (which Jericho didn't take well). A minute later Chyna got caught in the ropes. Jericho beat her up, but he hot-dogged long enough for Chyna to break free. Chyna lifted her knees on a Jericho flip splash attempt. Chyna catapulted Jericho into the exposed turnbuckle in the corner and scored a two count. Jericho set up a top rope move, but Chyna fell on top of him and scored a convincing near fall. At 9:40 Jericho applied the Walls of Jericho. Chyna struggled to reach the ropes, which she was able to last month, but this time she couldn't reach them, so she tapped out. After the match Chyna congratulated Jericho on the win. There seemed to be mutual respect. Good match. Shorter than last month, but that worked in favor of the match. Much better timing, fewer missed moves, and better pacing than last month's match. (***)
(8) Rock & Mankind beat The New Age Outlaws via DQ at 16:00 when Al Snow interfered so the Outlaws retained the WWF Tag Team Titles. The match was sluggish and the crowd wasn't into it. At 9:25 Gunn applied a sleeper on Rock. There was a faint chant of "Rocky, Rocky." At 11:20 there were two hot tags with Road Dogg and Mankind entering. At 12:00 Mankind bumped into the ref. He then applied Mr. Socko. Al Snow came out and nailed Mankind with Head. Road Dogg covered Mankind, but Rock stopped the count. Rock then clotheslined Snow. Gunn KO'd Mankind with the bell, but Mankind kicked out of the pin attempt. At 15:20 Mankind hot-tagged Rock who worked over Gunn. Snow returned to interfere, this time in front of the ref, prompting the DQ. Rock appeared to have a sure three count on Gunn after hitting Rock Bottom when Snow interfered. Rock gave Snow the Rock Bottom in retaliation (but the elbow looked really light). The first 10 minutes dragged. (*3/4)
(9) Big Show pinned Big Bossman (w/Prince Albert) at 3:00 to retain the WWF Title. Big Show charged the ring and dominated the match from the start. When Albert tried to interfere, Show chokeslammed him through the Spanish announcing table. Bossman hit Show from behind with the steel steps. Bossman dragged Show into the ring and scored a two count. Show then nipped up (with help from of the second rope). He then hit a chokeslam for the pin. Good for what it was. (*)
(10) Triple H beat Vince McMahon at 29:45 thanks in part to Stephanie McMahon. Half way into the match, Mankind rolled a shopping cart full of weapons to the ring. Late in the match, Triple H knocked McMahon off of a scaffolding and McMahon bumped flat on his back about 20 feet below onto a well-padded part of the Armageddon Set (which included a helicopter). McMahon came up bleeding. In the end, Triple H was going to hit McMahon with his sledgehammer, but took too long playing to the crowd and McMahon low-blowed him. McMahon was going to hit a defenseless Triple H with the sledgehammer, but Stephanie jumped into the ring and begged her father to let her hit her husband. She paused and couldn't get herself to do it. When she turned around to apologize to Vince, Triple H snatched the sledgehammer out of her hands and hit McMahon twice and scored the pin. After the match Stephanie cried over her KO'd father's body. Triple H was about to hit Stephanie with the hammer when she turned around. Triple H dropped the hammer. They both cracked a smile and embraced. Steph held Triple H's arm in the air in victory as the PPV faded to black. (***1/2)
***
WWF Armageddon Roundtable Reviews (12-12-99)
WWE ARMAGEDDON PPV
When: December 12, 1999
Where: Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.
Wade Keller, Torch editor (5.5)
A lot of people were predicting Stephanie McMahon would turn heel, and because she did, they may judge the angle as being "too predictable." I disagree with that train of thought. If an angle is predictable, that can mean that good clues were laid out and the finish to the angle or storyline will be logical. The angles that come out of the blue without any set-up are like a who-dun-it mystery novel where the killer turned out to be someone not introduced until the last chapter.
The Stephanie-Triple H angle played out well. I was pretty convinced by the time the match had ended that the WWF decided to go a different direction and Stephanie wasn't going to turn heel. So, even though going into the show I thought she was going to turn heel, by the time she did I was actually surprised. Everyone played his or her part well in the angle and the timing was right on.
Another successful element to the finish of the PPV is that we could not wait see how Vince McMahon reacted on Raw. Plus, how would Stephanie explain herself? How would Shane respond? When you can't wait to see follow-up, it's a sign of a good storyline.
Overall, though, the PPV showed the WWF's lack of depth when it comes to quality match-ups. The only match that was shorter than it should have been was X-Pac vs. Kane. Every other match - even the very short ones - should have been as short as they were. The WWF needs to find on their roster or elsewhere some good, young, singles wrestlers to help carry their PPVs.
Big Show vs. Big Bossman got a lot of votes for worst match, but I didn't have a problem with it at all. I would have preferred a longer match because a lot of what I wrote last week about Goldberg applied to Big Show - he needs some good, memorable matches to move to the next level. As a giant, he isn't expected to reach Steve Austin level, but short squashes don't mean today what they meant 20 years ago to a wrestler's image… Vince McMahon vs. Triple H would have been much better if it was 10 or 15 minutes shorter… How about establishing a real-life tag feud between the Hardys and Acolytes? The WWF needs to get the Hardys and Edge & Christian away from each other for them to grow to the next level and develop their own identities…
Bruce Mitchell, Torch columnist
While this was a one angle show, the highlight was this historic changing of the guard in women's wrestling, with longtime champion Fabulous Moolah along to witness the passing of the title to Miss Kitty's Tities. Finally, the WWF cut the crap and gave the belt to the first woman willing to top out on purpose. The logic of starting with Miss Kitty's little Tities to give the fans the idea that one day they'll get a chance to see B(ig) B(oobs) is canny marketing. I know some kids who definitely got the idea.
And speaking of "women," it's good to know that, in the end, the virginal Stephanie is a back-stabbing bitch just like all females. You know, in wrestling. They should have revealed this at the wedding, since having a comatose lady get married at the drive-thru seemed a mite far fetched, as did the reactions of the family. Triple H has been hilarious during the whole angle, though. The match between VKM and HHH had too many of those interminable walks backstage that pass for brawling these days. Still it seemed a little ill-advised to have the CEO of a billion dollar company do those two stunts. If I were a stock-holder I would've been hacked off.
As for the rest, Bulldog was awful and screwed up the three-way. The Big Show championship reign can't end soon enough. There hasn't been a good battle royal in 20 years, but Jeff Hardy pulled off a great spot to end the thing. Rikishi ought to stick to dancing. You got me what Viscera should do. And J.R. and J.L. got along for an entire pay-per-view for a change…
Jason Powell, Torch assistant editor (6.0)
The WWF pulled out all of the stops and a pair of breasts to boot, in order to prove once again that "anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation." While many of the holier-than-thou-types will complain about nudity affecting little Johnny, I thought it was fun and made the show memorable. Forget saving our nation's children from Vince "Beelzebub" McMahon. For those who have bashed the WWF because of the content on Smackdown and Raw, you got what you asked for - both shows are cleaned up (and will continue to be as long as you keep an eye on things). Your children are safe, now run off and save the world from some other form of nasty entertainment. Leave the PPV's in the hands of those who pay for them: adults. I'm not endorsing nudity, nor do I think it is necessary, but if the WWF decides to add some to their product, that is their prerogative. It might not be wholesome family entertainment like it was 25 years ago when names like Crusher and Mad Dog Vachon were blading and bleeding buckets full of blood while the whole family gathered 'round the old black-n-white TV set, but hey, times change. In a weird way, the recent controversy has set things straight. Pay-per-view buyers will finally be given things that regular TV viewers won't. It's about time. A viewer should walk away from the PPV feeling as though he saw something his cheapskate buddy who only watches the free TV wrestling didn't. Sure, the WWF may lose some buyers because of the nudity, but my bet is they'll gain many more to take their place. For instance, what do you think was the subject of conversation at the office water cooler on Monday? The forty minute Vince vs. Triple H match? Or Miss Kitty serving up her saucers of milk? WWF PPV's just became can't miss to a lot of people.
I got a kick out of all of the knuckle-headed over-analyzers who thought Jericho's career was "severely damaged" by doing a job to Chyna at the last PPV. Get real. Jericho used to do jobs for Dean Malenko. Forget workrate and skill, who do mainstream fans take more seriously, Malenko or Chyna? Six months from now, the only fans who will believe Jericho's career was damaged by Chyna are the same people who at this minute believe Triple H's career was damaged by jobbing to Chyna (You remember, just a week or so before he won the WWF Title).
***
WWF Armageddon Reader Reax (12-12-99)
WWE ARMAGEDDON PPV
When: December 12, 1999
Where: Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.
Chris Clark (6.0): The biggest problem occurred halfway though the main event when I realized that I had to cheer either Vince or Triple H. Both options sucked. Neither one should be in the main event. Stephanie's turn was the only saving grace, but where can that go? Mae "Brawler of the Year" Young still has those rippling abs. Did I really see British Bulldog engage in a resthold with the ring apron? As D-Lo said, "Davey, you really suck, you know that?" The best move of the night was Big Slow's nip-up which was the best big man move since Vader's moonsault. Finally, I would rather see Mick Foley retire than lay on a chinlock in a tag match.
Hunter Johnston (4.5): Best: Kane vs. X-Pac. Worst: Ivory vs. B.B. vs. Jackie vs. Kitty. Stephanie McMahon's turn will probably have something to do with the Greater Power angle and how Vince used her. The Triple H vs. Vince McMahon match went way too long. If it had been trimmed I would have picked it for best match.
Chris DiRese (6.0): Best: Rock & Sock vs. Outlaws. Worst: Blackman vs. Angle. This was a good show considering the main event had the boss instead of a wrestler, but everyone ate up Stephanie's heel turn. Miss Kitty is truly the most hardcore female in the business and I hope ECW tries to top her in January. Jeff Hardy is the first wrestler who can be described as the next Shawn Michaels, especially if he learns to talk. I think Blackman's charisma is worse than Helen Keller's with a gag ball in her mouth.
Tom Ferreira (8.0): Best: Vince vs. Triple H. Worst: Ivory vs. B.B. vs. Jackie vs. Kitty. The WWF pulled out a good effort, for the most part. Vince worked hard and it showed. Why must they continue to embarrass themselves with trash TV? I hope Jerry Lawler is really proud of Stacy (Kitty) for taking her top off. I'm still trying to figure out why Moolah needs money so badly that she's a willing participant in this sleaze.
Joe Eckl (9.0): One of the best PPV's of the year. An excellent show which featured several very good matches (notably Kane vs. X-Pac and Chyna vs. Jericho) and protecting most of the lesser workers (see Viscera and Rikishi). But, with two talented wrestlers in there, why can't there be more of a storyline than the state of Kane's schlong? In fact, there was only one really unwatchable match (Bossman vs. "Big Bastard") and even that was kept short. The main event was a hell of an effort by both men and you have to give Vince credit (almost forty minutes long). I'm just glad he was able to pull off the timing on that unnecessarily risky car spot. I'm embarrassed to admit how much I enjoy babyface Vince. A great show.
Mike James: Best: Jericho vs. Chyna. Worst: Tag Battle Royal. This was a very good show. I, for one, hope it starts a trend for the big two. We shouldn't feel as if we are paying thirty bucks for a commercial free Monday night show. These events should show things and say things you know you won't get for free. Vince didn't push the envelope… he burned it, and I applaud him.
David Shipley (8.0): Best: Jericho vs. Chyna. Worst: Big Show vs. Bossman. A really good show from start to finish and much better than the last few. Although there weren't any four or five star matches, there were a bunch of two and threes that moved the show along well.Even Blackman vs. Angle was a good wrestling match. I wanted Stephanie to turn heel, but I was still surprised that they did it. Kane's leap from the top of the cage was amazing. Vince's fall from the tower was unbelievable.
Ivan Trembow (8.0): Best: Vince vs. Triple H. Worst: Blackman vs. Angle. This show wasn't as good as ECW's November to Remember, but it was still a solid PPV. It was certainly better than Survivor Series. It was nice to see Chris Jericho get a clean win over Chyna in another very good match, even if it wasn't quite as good as their first. The WWF Title match was a mercifully short squash that did nothing but kill the Bossman's already weak credibility as a main eventer. The main event served its purpose as a wild and entertaining brawl with a nice sense of chaos throughout. Overall, the show didn't disappoint. There was a lot to like about it, both from a storyline perspective as well as a wrestling perspective.
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