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By Wade Keller, Torch editor

This begins a series of WrestleMania-related features as we count down the final days to WrestleMania 24...

WWE WRESTLEMANIA 23 REPORT - PART 1 OF 2
APRIL 1, 2007
DETROIT, MICH. AT FORD FIELD

-The show opened with footage of the various WrestleMania logos over the years, then highlights of various big WM matches.

-They cut to the inside of Ford Field and Vince McMahon introduced Aretha Franklin for the singing of "America the Beautiful." Viscera didn't hit on her, by the way. She did a very nice job with the performance.

-An "All Grown Up" video aired, then they cut to a huge pyro show on the entrance set and panned the crowd. Jim Ross and Michael Cole introduced the show. It would have been such a disrespectful move to not let Ross and Lawler introduce this show, so it's good to see they kicked it off. Michael Cole and JBL then graciously thanked Ross and Lawler for the intro, then threw to Joey Styles & Tazz. The wide angle of Ford Field was pretty awesome.

1 -- MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH: Edge vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. King Booker (w/Sharmell) vs. C.M. Punk

Order of entrance: Jeff, Booker, Finlay, Punk, Kennedy, Matt, Orton, Edge. When Kennedy stepped onto the stage, he reached up and down came a mic on a cable. He introduced himself from the stage. Finlay dove onto a crowd of everyone but Edge on the floor. Edge went for a quick win by climbing the ladder, but Matt cut him off. There were several more attempts at climbing early. Booker went for a ladder under the ring, but he pulled out the mini-ladder. He got bug-eyed and frustrated. Punk used it as a weapon. Edge then hit Punk with it, who came up bleeding. Punk suplexed Edge onto the mat in retaliation. Booker did the Spinarooni at 5:00. Matt and Jeff set up a faceplant on Edge on two ladder in the ring, but Finlay knocked Jeff off the top rope. Kennedy missed a Kenton Bomb attempt on Matt and landed on the ladder. Hardy hit a Swanton on Kennedy.

All six announcers took turns talking. Matt and Jeff held a ladder together and rammed it into various wrestlers. JBL predicted they'd turn on each other. Thhey both climbed the ladder. Jeff punched Matt; mattt fired back. Finlay knocked them both off the ladder over the top rope. Edge speared severyone except for Punk, who leapfrogg3ed him to avoid it at 8:00. Punk then helicoptered the ladder into everyone. Edge speared Punk and the way Punk's neck crunched, it might have been the most dangerous spot of the match so far. Edge climbed the giant ladder, but Orton tipped it over and Edge spilled all the way to ringside. Jeff face-planted Orton at 10:00. With the giant ladder stretched over the ring apron and ring barrier, Jeff dove off of another giant ladder with a butt splash onto Edge. The ladder broke in half and they landed with a thud.

After two excellent replays, paramedics came to ringside and tended to both of them. Edge was tenderly moved onto a back brace and he looked convincingly to be in rough shape. Orton surprised Matt with an RKO. he followed with RKOs on Finlay and Kennedy. Orton found a ladder and began climbing it. He reached up stupidly after two rungs when he was still sevferal feet away. That gave Punk a chance to hit him from behind. Edge was wheeled to the back. Orton gave Punk an RKO off of a ladder. Tazz said to bring the back brace back. Orton set up an RKO on Booker off the ropes, but Booker turned it into a Book End. Booker climbed the ladder. Matt met him on the other side. Sharmell entered the ring and yanked on Matt's leg. Ross pointed out it was a no DQ match. As Booker reached for the ladder, Matt threatened to DDT Sharmell. Booker chivalrously made the save rather than win the match. Matt climbed the ladder. Finlay tipped his ladder over. Finlay was sporting a big gash on the top of his head. Finlay, with a smile, gave a Keltic Cross to Hardy on the ladder.

Finlay set up two ladders in mid-ring next to each other. Hornswaggle ran into the ring and began climbing the ladder. When he got to the top, he still couldn't reach the ladder. Kennedy climbed the other ladder. Hornswaggle slapped Kennedy twice. Kennedy took a deep breath, then lifted him onto his shoulders and gave him his signature flip off the ladder onto the mat. As Finlay climbed the ladder, Punk dropkicked the ladder to knock Finlay down. Punk climbed to the top and touched the ladder, but Kennedy then met him at the top. A ref slipped another ladder into the ring. He grabbed the ladder with one hand, but Punk shoved him to the mat. Punk then grabbed the ladder, but Kennedy rammed Punk to the floor with a ladder (the one the ref just slipped into the ring). Kennedy climbed the ladder and grabbed the briefcase.

WINNER: Kennedy in 20:00.

STAR RATING: ***3/4 -- Just crazy mad insanity with tons of big spots. They got the injured Edge out of there early, but may have injured him in the process of getting him quickly out of the match. The match didn't overstay it's welcome, and was too dangerous to be replicated often. In fact, most everyone in it deserves a month or two off.

-Ross introduced a clip of the movie premiere of "The Condemned" on Friday night in Detroit. They showed the night vision reactions of the audience and then interviews with people leaving the theater. Austin said the response to the movie was "priceless." It's released Apr. 27.

-Todd Grisham interviewed Kennedy backstage. Kennedy interupted Grisham and said, "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." Then he said what you'd expect him to say in victory. He said to the champions, "I'm coming for ya' anytime, any place." He said good guys finish last, so thank god I'm not a nice guy. "Thank God I'm Mr. Kennedy. Thank God I'm Mr. Money in the.... Bank!"

-An "All Grown Up" video aired.

2 -- KANE vs. THE GREAT KHALI

Smart placement of this match since nothing could follow the MITB match other than the complete opposite style match. Khali out-muscled Kane to the mat in the opening minute. Ross and Lawler called this match because, apparently, Khali is officially a Raw wrestler and they got by height or something when picking announcers. After a Khali nerve hold, they exchanged some punches. Kane tied Khali into the ropes, then grabbed his chain and hook. Kane hooked the chain on the top rope, then yanked the chain between Khali's legs. Kane went for a cover, but Khali power-kicked out. They took turns trying to chokeslam each other. Khali used two arms to lift and slam Kane to the mat. Khali then stood on Kane's chest and got the clean pin. Afterward, Khali choked Kane with his own chain, then left.

WINNER: Khali in 5:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- You know, it wasn't horrible. They wrestled within their skillset. There is hope for Batista after all.

-Backstage, Cryme Tyme talked with Eugene backstage. They told him he "looks like a playa." Then the Extreme Expose team danced. Then Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young showed up in the same outfits. Eugene danced with them. Slick then made his triumphant return to WWE and did some dancing on his owwn. Everyone chanted, "Go Slick. Go Slick." Dusty Rhodes showed up and joineed the dance party. Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Harrt, I.R.S., and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat showed up and danced. Gerlad Brisco also joined in. Then Ron Simmons walked into the area. Everyone stopped in their tracks and stared. After a few seconds of silence, he said, "Damn!"

3 -- CHRIS BENOIT vs. MVP -- U.S. Title Match

After some nice early wrestling exchanges with Benoit, Cole said he didn't know MVP had that in him. Benoit hit three German suplexes at 4:00. MVP executed a superplex off the top rope at 5:00, but Benoit turned it into a small package for a near fall. MVP then threw Benoit shoulder-first into the ringpost. Cole said that could limit Benoit being able to apply his submission holds later. Benoit slipped on a Crossface, but couldn't get a solid grip because of his shoulder being damaged. MVP then danced and dropped an elbow and cradled Benoit for a near fall. Benoit came back with a series of unreleased back suplexes. Then he connected with a top rope headbutt and scored the clean pin.

WINNER: Benoit in 9:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good match. MVP showed he can look "in place" in a serious match against someone of Benoit's caliber.

-A commercial aired for WWE Shop Zone.

-Backstage, Donald Trump was on a cell phone and he said Vince McMahon is a bad man because he wasn't catered to. He was sitting next to a former Miss USA. Boogeyman's music played and the lights turned red. Boogeyman showed up behind Trump. The Miss USA lady ran away. Trump no-sold it, like he sees that sort of thing every day. He ordered a sandwich. Boogeyman laughed and said he would. He said if Boogeyman brings him a sandwich, he'll bring him some worms. Now if Trump wanted to prove he was really game, he'd have bitten into a worm sandwich.

-Hall of Fame ceremony highlights aired. Jerry Lawler said he was backstage with William Shatner and the no. 1 topic of conversation was Viagra.

-Lilian Garcia announced the official attendance was 80,103, which if accurate, beats the real attendance (78,000) for WrestleMania 3. She then introduced Howard Finkle, who then introduced the 2007 Hall of Fame Class. It would have been really funny if Mr. Fuji threw salt in the eyes of the person pushing his wheelchair.

4 -- BATISTA vs. UNDERTAKER -- World Hvt. Title Match

Teddy Long was ring announcer for this match. Batista came out first, even though he's the champion. Undertaker's ring entrance was among the most spectacular ever in WWE. The set was cool. They showed one fan holding up a "15-0" sign and another fan held up "14-1." Batista speared Taker tot he mat to open the match. There were audible boos immediately. Taker fired away with a barrage of punches. Batista switched positions and drove his shoulder into his mid-section. More boos. JBL said Batista's title reign was fed off of the energy of the fans, but tonight he wouldn't have them. Taker yanked Batista out of the ring and rammed his face into the ring barrier. He whipped him into the ringside steps. Taker was as cut and defined as ever, without looking bulky (like Batista always does). Batista climbed to the top rope and shoulder-tackled Taker. He followed up with a clothesline and some punches, then a bodyslam. More boos. At 3:00 they exchanged punches. Every time Taker threw a punch, they cheered. Every time Batista threw a punch, they booed. Taker then hit a big boot and a legdrop for a two count. Taker walked the top rope and came off with a forearm. When Taker went for a chokeslam, Batista blocked it. Taker followed with a flying shoulder and almost overshot Batista. Taker gave Batista guillotine legdrop on the ring apron. Taker then hit a running shoulder tackle over the top rope onto Batista on the floor. Nice spot. The replay made it seem like Taker had wings. Taker punched away at Batista. Batista reversed Taker into a bunch of chairs at ringside. Lilian barely got out of his way. More boos. Batista tore apart an annouce desk and gave Taker a running powerslam off of one table through another at 10:00. Back in the ring, Batista scored a near fall. A minute later he scored another two count. Batista punched away at Taker in the corner, but Taker turned it into a Last Ride. Cole declared that there would be a new champion, so of course Batista kicked out at two. JBL said this type of action is why you wait all year for WrestleMania. Batista made a comeback and shook the ropes. Taker came back with a sudden chokeslam for another two count. Batista powered out. batista slipped out of Taker's grip and hit a spear, prompting crowd boos. Batista gave Taker the Batista Bomb. Cole declared that Taker's streak was over, giving away Taker's kickout. Taker did kick out. Batista got up with a look of disbelief. Batista set up a second Batista Bomb. Taker backdropped out of it for a huge pop. Batista kicked Taker in the gut and lifted Taker. Taker slipped out and lifted Batista for a Tombstone. He dropped Batista. Cole didn't declare the match over, so of course that was the pin. Taker celebrated and made a long, slow walk to the entrance stage where flames and pyro marked his departure in dramatic fashion.

WINNER: Undertaker in 16:00 to capture the World Hvt. Title.

STAR RATING: **** -- Really good. They included moves they were capable of without any down time, filler, or overambitious spots that could lead to embarassment or disaster. Taker carried the vast majority of the action of course, but Batista gets credit for not screwing anything up and looking decent throughout. The big spots were designed well and managed to not seem anticlimactic despite the wild spots in the opener. A very well designed match.

-A "All Grown Up" video aired on Bobby Lashley.

-Stephanie McMahon rolled her baby up to grandpa Vince, who made some funny faces and noises. Steph seemed concerned when he reached out to touch the baby. There was a camera inside the baby carriage, which was entertaining and stupid at the same time. Why does everything Stephanie touch destroy any chance of suspending disbelief. Steph told Vince he was going to scare the baby as Vince began getting really intense as he talked about his battle with Trump. Vince then began noticing a bad smell. He said the baby just "took a Trump."

THIS COMPLETES PART ONE OF TWO

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