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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
MARCH 24, 2003
LIVE FROM SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

-The show opened with Steve Austin taking over the show and insisting on Rock coming to the ring. When Test came out for his match, Austin gave him a Stunner. Lance Storm got a Stunner, too. Eric Bischoff then produced a restraining order requiring Austin leave the arena. Austin posted himself outside the arena in his pick-up truck. If you watched Raw regularly the last few years, you've already seen a slightly different version of this exact angle with Austin and Vince McMahon several times.

-Rock had speakers set up outside where Austin was waiting. He played antagonziing songs aimed at Austin. Austin entered the arena in his pick-up truck, attacked Rock, and destroyed his prized Willie Nelson guitar.

-Lance Storm & William Regal were stripped of the tag team titles due to Regal's illness. Storm & Chief Morley were awarded the titles. RVD & Kane challenged them to a match at WrestleMania.

-Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels exchanged slaps after a good promo in the ring.

RUNDOWN OF THE SHOW

-Lillian Garcia sang the National Anthem to open the show.

-Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show.

-Steve Austin came out and insisted he wasn't going anywhere until he had a chance to face Rock in person in the ring. Test (w/Stacy) came out and he had a match scheduled and he just wanted to wrestle. Austin gave him the Stunner. Lance Storm ran to the ring and covered Test. Austin slipped into the ring and made a two count, then stopped. Storm, not realizing who the ref was, turned around to complain. Austin gave him the finger and a Stunner. Eric Bischoff came out to his music accompanied by 12 police officers. He said he had a court order requiring Austin to leave the arena or be arrested. Austin stared down several of the officers as Bischoff antagonized him with comments about whether he thought he could give the Stunner to 12 uniformed officers. Austin eventually walked out of the arena. Bischoff then gloated about the special Rock concert he had scheduled later. Meanwhile, they showed Austin being accompanied to the exit of the arena by the officers.

Before Austin got to the exist, he saw Rock standing off the side strumming his guitar and mocking Austin. Austin reluctantly continued his trek out of the arena, but staring down Rock in the process. Fans chanted "Rocky sucks." He responded: "Everybody in Sacramento, get ready for the Rock show! Whooo!"

[commercial break]

1 -- TRISH STRATUS & JEFF HARDY vs. VICTORIA & STEVEN RICHARDS

Richards and Jeff fought for a minute, then the women came in and finished the short match. Trish finished off Victoria with a Stratusfaction. After the match, Jazz attacked Trish. Victoria wanted to join in the fun, but Victoria kicked her, too.

WINNER: Trish & Hardy at 2:31.

STAR RATING: * -- As always, Trish and Victoria put in 100 percent energy. Jeff and Richards were fine for the little ring time they were given.

[commercial break]

-Eric Bischoff was on the phone bragging about having a "perfect Eric Bischoff moment" with Steve Austin when Johnathan Coachman entered. He told Bischoff security needed to talk to him right away. He was upset and said it better be good. Coachman said he didn't know what it was.

-Backstage Goldberg stammered through his good luck message to Booker for WrestleMania. Booker asked if Goldust felt ready to wrestle as his partner tonight.

-The head of security showed Bischoff a security monitor backstage which showed Austin standing next to his pick-up truck outside the arena. Security said there wasn't anything he could do about it because the restraining order was limited to keeping him out of the arena. Bischoff turned to Coachman and told him to go tell Austin if he doesn't leave he'll make his life a living hell. Coachman was reluctant because Austin looked really mad. Bischoff said it was a good point, but Coachman had to do it or he was fired. "What's it going to be, Coach? It's a choice, make one," Bischoff said. Coachman agreed to do as he said.

2 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. CHRISTIAN

Steiner dominated early with power moves including pressing Christian over his head three times and before dropping to his knees and flexing. Christian came back briefly, but Steiner soon reversed it again with an overhead suplex. Christian surprised Steiner with a near fall with his feet on the ropes. Steiner caught Christian on the top rope and gave him a fallaway slam to the mat for the win. Steiner did his "hook up" signature line to close out the show.

WINNER: Steiner at 4:20.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- It was what it needed to be if the intent was to put Steiner back on the map every so slightly. Christian has become a virtual jobber.

-Coachman nervously delivered Bischoff's message to Austin, who scowled at him. Coachman then left and said he'd tell Bischoff he delivered the message as asked.

[commercial break]

-Terri interviewed Chief Morley who told Lance Storm that due to William Regal's illness, he was stripping them of the tag team titles. He said Bischoff told him to appoint new champions—which he announced was Storm & himself. Rob Van Dam and Kane entered the picture and challenged Morley & Storm to defend the belts against them at WrestleMania. At first they were reluctant, until Kane said he thought they had more balls than that. Kane slapped Storm on the back of the neck and asked him how he was doing before walking away. The crowd popped for the slap.

-Ric Flair and Hunter were shown warming up backstage.

[commercial break]

-Ross plugged that Vince McMahon would be on Craig Kilborn on Wednesday night. There was once a time where McMahon could get on Letterman or Leno right before WrestleMania. Not now apparently. I wonder if he'll be the no. 1 guest on Kilborn.

3 -- BOOKER T & GOLDUST vs. RIC FLAIR & TRIPLE H

Jim Ross gave his obligatory two sentence tribute to Flair's history as a performer in the industry. How is Hunter supposed to get a "rub" from being with Flair when Flair has usually been treated no differently than J.J. Dillon, except that Dillon seemed like the "leader" of the Horsemen's business affairs, whereas Flair is most often portrayed as a merely a mute mascot for Hunter. Flair bumped around for Goldust in the opening minute. Hunter tagged in at 1:30, but Goldust went to work on him right away. When Booker tagged in against Hunter and gave him a killer glare. A minute later, Booker and Flair were in at 3:30 when Flair did his face-first flop which popped a new generation of fans in the arena. Flair came back with a vintage eye poke and tagged in Hunter. Hunter threw Booker out of the ring and they cut to a commercial.

[commercial break]

Flair applied the figure-four, but Booker T reversed it and hot-tagged out to Goldust at 9:20. Goldust backdropped Flair and butt-butted Hunter, then a double-clothesline. Hunter ducked a flying Goldust clothesline, and Goldust flew to the floor. Flair went after Goldust, but the ref got in his path. As the ref scolded Flair, Hunter rammed Goldust into the ringside stairs. Flair then nailed Goldust with a low-blow as Hunter distracted the ref. At 13:00 Goldust finally managed to hot-tag Booker, but the ref disallowed it because he didn't see it. At 13:50 Booker finally got a legal hot-tag. He showed good fire with a series of wheel kicks on Flair and Hunter. He then chopped Hunter viciously in the corner several times until Flair intervened from behind. Booker, though, fought back and whipped Hunter over the top rope to the floor. He then gave Flair the whip into the corner, which turned into the Flair flip to the floor. At ringside, Booker rammed Hunter into the stairs and Hunter came up bleeding from the forehead. In the ring Booker nailed Hunter with a flying forearm followed by chops and punches in the corner. Booker gave Flair his axe kick at 16:00, but the ref refused to count a pin because Flair wasn't legal. Hunter then blindsided Booker with a punch. He set up the Pedigree, but Booker escaped and catapulted Hunter into the ringpost. He followed with a kick to the cut, an axe kick, and the pin.

WINNER: Booker T & Goldust when Booker pinned Hunter at 16:48.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Very good TV tag match. Paint by numbers formula without any flash highspots, but it was executed well with perfect pacing. The finish was also the right thing to do headed into the PPV since the idea is to create the perception that the challenger has the champ's number.

[commercial break]

-Chris Jericho entered the ring and asked Shawn Michaels to join him. He promised no surprises, just a straight talk. Michaels came out to his music. Jericho talked in his real-life voice and talked about how Michaels inspired him to become a wrestler. He said he wanted to be just like Michaels. He showed three classic clips on a split screen. Two of Jericho in his first match ever emulating Michaels's moves. Another showed a photo of Jericho dressed like Michaels for his 8 by 10 (although Jericho looked more like Jeff Jarrett of that era with the white hair and chiseled upper body). He said eventually, though, he decided to be "the first Chris Jericho" rather than "the next HBK." He then said he hopes Michaels acknowledges that he has surpassed him after he beats him at WrestleMania. Jericho slapped Michaels. Michaels paused, then slapped him back. They cut to a commercial as they had a staredown.

[commercial break]

-Rock met up with Bischoff backstage. Rock said he knows that Austin won't leave. (I can't believe they've gone more than an hour since showing him outside the arena!) Rock said Austin is out there because he doesn't want to miss the Rock Concert. He suggested Bischoff place four speakers outside so Austin can enjoy the concert.

[commercial break]

-Ross and Lawler ran down the line-up for WrestleMania including the Smackdown matches that they usually don't talk about.

-They showed RVD & Kane and The Dudleys warming up backstage.

[commercial break… Not sure if it was a national ad, but just a few minutes after a clip aired of Shawn Michaels in his WWF Rocker days, an ad aired for the "Mullets Rock" CD and it opened with a clip from "Livin' After Midnight" which was the original theme for the Midnight Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty) in the AWA.]

4 -- ROB VAN DAM & KANE vs. THE DUDLEYS

Standard match between these four with the expected signature spots. At 5:00 Morley and Storm came to ringside. Morley distracted the ref as Storm interfered. kane gave the big boot to both Bubba and Storm, knocking them to ringside. He then chokeslammed D-Von. RVD followed with a Five-Star Frogsplash for the win. Kane & RVD signalled to Morley & Storm at ringside that they'd get the straps at WrestleMania.

WINNER: RVD & Kane when RVD pinned D-Von at 5:50.

STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Solid tag match.

-Austin got perturbed by the speakers being set up near his pick-up truck outside the arena. When told by the workers why the speakers were being set up, Austin got on his cell phone.

-Ross plugged the Rock Concert and the replay of the Smackdown Hogan-McMahon contract signing.

[commercial break]

-The Rock came to the ring with his acoustic guitar. He sat in the ring on a stool with a small table next to it. Rock began signing a song about Sacramento... well, ripping into Sacramento. He got the biggest pop from singing: "I'll be sure to come back when the Lakers beat the Kings in May." He said Shaq is his friend. So Rock is a babyface in Los Angeles? Anyway... He then turned to ripping Austin, saying "you can't mix beer with those funny cigarettes." He accused Austin of selling bootleg copies of Rock t-shirts for $5. "Whip Austin's ass again, Rock can't wait to whip you bald candy ass again," he sang Willie Nelson style. Lawler laughed and praised the concert as great. He then did some Frank Sinatra "My Way." He saw an ambulance drive up to the arena. "Who fainted," he asked. (Funny!) Then Austin followed into the arena parking garage in his pick-up. He drove all the way into the arena onto the rampway and down to the ring, but instead Hurricane got out of the truck. Rock went from scared to laughing. "Arrest the Hamburglar!" Rock said. Police grabbed him and carried him away. He sat down and said it was time for one more song. Austin popped out from underneath a black covering in the bed of the pick-up. The crowd popped. Rock thought the crowd was cheering his newest song. Then he saw Austin and tried to leave, but Austin got to him first and punched and stomped away at him. Austin grabbed the guitar and swung it toward Rock as Rock bailed out to ringside. Then Jeff Jarrett got on the big screen and said, "Hey, that's my gimmick." Okay, that part didn't happen (TM Mojo Mitchell). Austin threatened to bust the guitar (signed by Willie Nelson). Rock begged him not to. Austin dropped it to the mat. Rock tentatively made his way back to the ring, but Austin then stomped on it. Rock began to freak out as Austin broke the guitar into little pieces. It's amazing how little during this entire storyline build-up to WrestleMania involved Austin actually talking.

-They showed Vince McMahon swaggering backstage with a smug grin (TM Stephanie McMahon). Ross said he'd join them for the encore presentation of his contract signing with Hulk Hogan from last week's Smackdown.

[commercial break]

-Vince McMahon entered the ring and introduced the Hogan-Vince Smackdown segment. After it aired, McMahon said he is proud to be an American, proud to be a McMahon, and proud to have created Hulkamania. He concluded that at WrestleMania he'd be proud to destroy Hulkamania. He smiled and walked away.

-Ross then plugged more bonus coverage featuring Kurt Angle demanding an apology from Brock Lesnar. This "bonus coverage," as Ross called it, makes total sense considering how many UPN affiliates preempted Smackdown last week for network coverage of the second day of the war.

[commercial break]

-They re-aired the Angle-Brock angle to conclude the show.

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