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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
MARCH 24, 2003
LIVE FROM SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

-Goldberg debuted. Rock announced to the crowd that he was calling it quits because the fans didn't appreciate him enough. Goldberg then came out, told Rock he was "next," and speared him, ending the show.

-Rob Van Dam & Kane won the tag team titles from Lance Storm & Chief Morley in a three-way tag match also with The Dudleys.

-An angle took place setting up Triple H & Chris Jericho vs. Booker T & Shawn Michaels as next week's Raw main event.

-Scott Steiner returned to Raw and won a squash over Christopher Nowinski.

-Maven and Jeff Hardy both won singles matches.

RUNDOWN OF THE SHOW

-The show opened with the WrestleMania Limp Bizkit video showing highlights of the awesome PPV from the night before. Great video that did a good job in two minutes creating a sense of "regret" for those who didn't see the show.

-The Raw opening montage was followed by Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introducing the show, although they didn't mention Goldberg.

-They went right backstage where Rock was looking at himself in a mirror. The make-up guy approached Rock, but he said he was perfect already. He said it was Rock Appreciation Night.

-Ross and Lawler confirmed that it was indeed Rock Appreciation Night.

-Steve Austin's music began and he walked out to the ring. He acknowledged that he lost to Rock the night before. He said the better man won the night before. He wanted Rock to come to the ring so he could shake his hand. "Basically, Stone Cold got his ass whipped. It doesn't make me happy to say that, but that's pretty much what happened," he said. Eric Bischoff's entrance music played and he came out instead of Rock.

Bischoff misconstrued Austin's words, saying he wanted to kick Rock's ass. Bischoff said Austin would not be kicking anyone's ass because he "knew his little secret." He said he's found out what Austin has been trying to hide, that the rumor was he spent the night before WrestleMania at a local hospital suffering from anxiety issues, but in reality his lawyer dug up the truth. He read a doctor's statement that said Austin has a "spinal deformity at the C6 and C7 (vertebrae)." Bischoff said the doctor wouldn't clear Austin to wrestle because of the bad condition of his neck. Austin told Bischoff to have the guts to tell him this to his face rather than from the stage. Bischoff declined. Austin said he doesn't listen to doctors, he does what he wants. Bischoff said Austin's condition forced him to fire him. Austin said: "There's a lot you can do, you son of a bitch, but you can't fire me." Bischoff said the paperwork had already been FedExed to his house.

[Commercial break]

-Austin stood backstage as Ross recapped the Bischoff decision.

1 -- TRIPLE H vs. HURRICANE HELMS - Non-Title Match

Ross mentioned that Triple H might be spent from his match the night before against Booker T. Jerry Lawler said Hunter has "never looked better," and Ross retorted bitterly, "I'm not talking about his physique." Hurricane hit chokeslam and scored a two count at 2:15. Flair intervened on Hurricane's pin attempts. Hurricane then hit a top rope crossbody block. Hurricane countered a Pedigree attempt and went for one of his own. Hunter, though, escaped and catapulted Hurricane into the corner. Hurricane came right back and slammed Hunter to the mat and scored another near fall. Hunter, though, finished off Hurricane with a Pedigree.

WINNER: Triple H at 3:55.

STAR RATING: ** -- Spirited match. Hunter gave Hurricane enough offense so that Hurricane benefited from the match. Not a squash, thankfully.

-Backstage Kane and RVD talked about their failure to win the tag team titles. Kane said he thinks it's better that they go their separate ways now. RVD seemed a bit deflated, but countered by saying he just negotiated a rematch for the tag titles with outside interference outruled. Kane said knowing Morley there must be a catch. RVD said he did negotiate a little bit, accepting a stip that if they lose they have to join the Bischoff Administration. Kane got upset and said how could he sign them up for something like that without discussing it with him first. Kane stormed off. RVD, puzzled, said, "Well, we're going to win." The crowd laughed.

-The Goldberg promo aired for the first time on TNN, the same that aired the night before at WrestleMania plugging his appearance at Backlash. They cut right back to the crowd and there was supposed to be a Goldberg chant, but it wasn't audible until about five seconds passed and even then it was faint. Ross and Lawler, though, immediately said there was a Goldberg chant.

[commercial break]

2 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI

Nowinski came out wearing a protective mask on his face. He said doctors told him he can't absorb any blows to the face and asked Steiner not to hit his face. Steiner gave Nowinski an overhead suplex and plopped Nowinski on top of his head. The ref immediately checked on Nowinski and then gave the "all clear/okay" hand signal to the back to let them know Nowinksi could finish the match. They went right to the finish with a Steiner Recliner.

WINNER: Steiner at 2:33.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Fine for a squash. The pre-match stuff gave Nowinski a chance to develop his character and gain from the loss. Steiner looked dominant.

-Terri approached Austin backstage and asked him if what Bischoff said is the truth. He said Bischoff has fired him and his neck sucks. "Is my neck a pile of trash? Yes it is. That's the truth. I'm fired, my neck sucks, Eric Bischoff fired me, my neck sucks. That's pretty much the bottom line, isn't it? Are you happy?" Terri said no and thanked him for his time. Austin and Terri both seemed very emotional.

[commercial break]

-Highlights aired of Rock's singing in recent weeks.

-Ross said as long as he lives, he'll never forget March 31, 2003. "Bischoff has done the worst thing," Ross said. "He has robbed Austin of his dreams, of his livelihood. Eric Bischoff is a no good lousy son of a bitch. How he got Austin's records, I'll never know... He ought to burn in hell for it" Lawler seemed a bit speechless and then plugged upcoming matches including Booker T vs. Chris Jericho.

-Backstage Bubba Ray paced and said he can't believe it. He told D-Von he was saving his jobs with what he did at WrestleMania. He said he would have been fired had he not interfered on behalf of Chief Morley & Lance Storm. D-Von said he doesn't like the whole situation. Bubba said he agrees it sucks, but they have to play by his rules for the time being. Morley & Storm entered the room and told them that he granted RVD & Kane a tag title match. He told them not to interfere in the match because they'd be part of the match. It would be a three team elimination match, but "in name only." He said he wanted them to help eliminate Kane & RVD, then they would have to lay flat and allow he or Storm to pin them to retain the belts. He said they would then have the honor of welcoming RVD & Kane into the Bischoff Administration.

-Flair approached Booker T backstage as trainers were heavily wrapping his leg. Flair taunting set off Booker who slammed Flair against a door. "If you ever get in my face again, I'm going to break your punk ass off, you understand me!" He then threw Flair out of the room. Lawler yelled, "Call the police!"

[commercial break]

3 -- ROSIE (w/Rico) vs. MAVEN

Ross said this match might be over quickly and it might not be pretty. Rosie dominated Maven early with chops and headbutts. Lawler began talking about being a guest photographer for Playboy. Lawler's juvenile obsession with women is three years past being the least bit funny or entertaining. He can be a good color commentator, but his current cartoon persona doesn't lend itself to enhancing the product. Maven scored a surprise roll-up two count at 1:35. Maven followed with a sunset flip for a surprise three count upset. Rico freaked out and charged into the ring, but Maven rolled out.

WINNER: Maven at 1:52.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Too short to be rated any higher, but it was well done for what it was.

-Highlights aired of Lawler interacting with nearly naked women as a photographer. He said it was a dream come true for any red-blooded American male. Ross called Lawler "the luckiest man in the world." They plugged the Torrie Playboy issue goes on sale tomorrow.

[commercial break]

4 -- BOOKER T vs. CHRIS JERICHO

Jericho came out and did his exaggerated arrogant rock star routine on his way to the ring. He then bad-mouthed Shawn Michaels. Booker T's music interrupted and he came to the ring to start the match. Ross went on record saying he thinks Booker T will be World Champion some day (not counting that "joke" WCW, of course). Booker nailed Jericho with a sidekick at 2:10. Flair then charged into the ring. Booker flattened him with chops as the bell rang signalling the DQ.

WINNER: Booker T via DQ at 2:27.

STAR RATING: * -- Very short, but good while it lasted. Hunter came out to the ring and helped Jericho and Flair beat on Booker. Hunter slapped Booker around and then gave him an awkward looking Pedigree. Michaels came out and made the save, clearing the ring of all three heels including giving Hunter an inverted atomic drop and clothesline. The crowd popped for his save. But as Michaels celebrated, Jericho blindsided him with a forearm. The heels then beat up Michaels. Jericho put Michaels in a Walls of Jericho. Hunter put Booker in an Indian Death Lock. Both writhed in pain. Eventually the heels released the holds and celebrated their deeds.

[commercial break]

5 -- JEFF HARDY vs. STEVEN RICHARDS (w/Victoria)

When Victoria kept interfering, Trish ran to ringside to fend her off. He flattened Victoria with a roundhouse kick. Hardy followed up with a Swanton Bomb off the top rope for the win. Jeff and Trish then engaged in very up-close smiles.

WINNER: Hardy at 3:39.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Good action. Victoria is always entertaining with her believable intensity.

-They showed Austin leaving the arena and shaking hands with a lot of the workers backstage who said they'd miss him. Austin then walked up the rampway out of the arena without any further commentary from the announcers.

[commercial break]

-Another Rock Appreciation Moment segment aired with Rock insulting crowds and announcers.

-Test talked on his cell phone to a woman who was presumably Stacy. He talked about how hot she looked. Stacy then walked up behind him. Test quickly hung up the phone. He got defensive when Stacy asked him who he was talking to. Test asked Goldust, who was in the background, to vouge for his story that it was a wrong number. Goldust said indeed it was a wrong number, but then began blurting out uncontrollably that it was Torrie Wilson on the phone and Test wanted to see her naked tomorrow.

-Rock went backstage yelling for Austin. He told all of the workers backstage that Austin needed to stick around to see the conclusion of Rock Appreciation Night. Rock told them not to be all sad because they still have Rock and Rock likes them. "Cheer up, Rock is here. Everything's going to be fine," he said. He told them he needs them to set up the lights and boost the audio and then after the show they're all going to a big party with "pie all night long, Seattle style." The guys began smiling. Rock told them they can't be at the party, but they can watch from the outside.

[commercial break]

6 -- CHIEF MORLEY & LANCE STORM vs. BUBBA RAY & D-VON DUDLEY vs. ROB VAN DAM & KANE -- WWE Raw Tag Team Title match

They did a good job earlier in the show setting up this tag match with various stips and dilemmas facing the wrestlers. RVD dove over the top rope onto Morley, Storm, and Bubba in the opening minutes. Kane followed with a bodyblock of his own over the top rope. RVD and Kane re-entered the ring to celebrate. RVD went for the Five-Star Frog Splash, but Bubba moved (and it's a good thing, since he's made it obvious he was repositioning himself to be in the right spot for the move). Morley entered with a chair, but D-Von yanked it away from him. Bubba wasn't happy. RVD then wheel kicked the chair into D-Von's face and pinned him to eliminate the Dudleys at 5:10. That ruined the master plan for the Dudleys to help Morley & Storm eliminate RVD & Kane first.

[commercial break]

They continued the match with just two teams. RVD took a beating for a couple of minutes and then hot-tagged Kane who got several near falls. Kane then went to the top rope and came off with a flying clothesline on Morley. Storm interrupted the ref's count. RVD then nailed Storm with a flying sidekick. Kane whipped Morley into an RVD wheel kick. Kane then signalled for the chokeslam, but Storm distracted Kane and Morley then gave Kane a low-blow from behind. Storm kicked Kane at which point Morley rolled up Kane for a two count. Kane came back with a chokeslam of both opponents at once. he showed great fire afterward and pointed TVD to the top rope. RVD hit the Five-Star Frogsplash on Morley for the win.

WINNERS: Kane & RVD at 13:01 to capture the WWE Tag Team Titles.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Really good TV tag match. The finishing sequence was well done and crisp in terms of timing and execution. They did a good job overall creating a sense that this match was important and the title change was reason for celebration. "Finally something to celebrate about on this controversial night of Raw!" Ross proclaimed.

-Backstage Eric Bischoff told an unidentified person on his cell phone that if they thought his firing Austin was a surprise, wait until they saw what else he had in store for everyone. He said the ink was still wet on the contract.

[commercial break]

-Ross announced that next week's Raw would feature Shawn Michaels & Booker T vs. Triple H & Rock. Good to see them hyping next week's show on what is surely going to be the highest rated Raw in several weeks.

-Rock came out to his music. Ross and Lawler bickered about various subjects as Rock made his way to the ring. "Finally The Rock has returned to Sea... Sea... to See all of you jabroni's pay tribute to The Great One." Fans chanted "Rocky, Rocky" which at times was interspersed by competing "sucks" chants. Rock said it sucks that Steve Austin was fired. He said he and Austin put on "a hell of a performance" last night at WrestleMania. "You gave it your all and I gave it my all. We made it a classic and I have nothing but much respect and much love for you. Thank you." He said if Austin knew it was his last match, he wouldn't have wanted to go out the way he did with three Rock Bottoms and a three count. He added, though, that if you're going to go out in defeat, who better to lose to than the greatest the industry has ever seen. He said he could go on and on talking about his accomplishments, then he spotted a fan in the crowd giving him a finger and threatened to "beat his candy ass." He told the crowd to "know your role and shut you mouth and watch the screen." A video aired with highlights of Rock's career as Rock said he has done it all. Ross narrated by talking about his college history, Hollywood success, and seven WWF Title reigns. The crowd chanted "Rocky, Rocky" at the conclusion of the video. He talked about how he went to Hollywood and then came back got booed. Fans began a "Goldberg" chant. He said, "Don't think you're cool because you know Rock's accountant, Ira Goldberg." He said he has defeated everyone so now there's nothing left for The Rock. He said at 30 years old, he has done it all, and "it's over." He said since the fans don't appreciate him, it's the last time you'll see him. It didn't help his cause that this happened to be the most pro-Rock crowd since his return from Hollywood, but he did turn the crowd against him with his comments. Goldberg's music then started. He looked at the big screen and sure enough, Goldberg walked through the back hallways in a leather Harley Davidson jacket. He walked up the stairs to the stage and came out to fireworks as the crowd popped big for him. "Goldberg on Raw!" screamed Ross as Goldberg entered the ring. He smiled as Rock and circled him.

Goldberg said: "So, Rock, you wanna know who's next? You're next!" He then speared Rock, who sold it like he was shot in the abdomen. "Goldberg may have broken The Rock in half with that spear!" Ross creamed. Fans chanted his name, and then he walked off. Rock struggled to his feet as Ross wondered aloud what would top this next week.

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