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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 5 YRS AGO (5/19/03): Hunter vs. Flair, Goldberg, Stone Cold, Bischoff, Kevin Nash, Jericho, Christian
May 19, 2008 - 10:47:29 AM |
By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor
KELLER'S RAW REPORT
MAY 19, 2003
LIVE FROM GREENVILLE, S.C.
The show opening montage played. I love the smiling Steve Austin photo that mocks the Eric Bischoff smile we've seen for months. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler then introduced the show as the camera panned signs in the crowd. Ross said they are coming off a "physically intense Judgment Day." Lawler said he couldn't wait to see the condition Bischoff was in.
Steve Austin came to the ring at the start of the show. Austin said he had a couple of things to get off his chest. He said he had a hell of a great time, drank a lot of beer, ate a lot of food, and saw some great matches. He said it sucked having to share his skybox with Eric Bischoff. He said: "Eric ate a lot of food, drank a lot of beer, and he proceeded to do what he seems to always do in a situation - he made a complete jackass of himself." Footage aired of Bischoff throwing up.
He said we won't see much of Bischoff because he's hung over. He said he is the hardest working redneck in the business and it was time to start looking forward to the June PPV, titled "Stone Cold Steve Austin Presents: Badd Blood." He looked at the camera and said with his name stamped on it, it's satisfaction guaranteed. He said, "Trust in me and I will never let you down." He said it was time to look at who attempted to run down Bill Goldberg with an "automobile." (Nobody enunciates the word "auto-mo-bee-uhl" like Austin does). He said as a man of action, he will find out tonight who tried to run over Goldberg. He said when he finds out, he will put him in the ring against Goldberg in Greenville later in the night. Lawler asked, "Is that a rush to judgment?"
Austin then introduced Triple H, who walked out with Ric Flair. (Rumor has it Hunter has made it clear he wants Flair to wear suits that are at least 25 percent cheaper than his when they stand side-by-side!) Once Hunter got to the ring, Austin ordered them to "shut that stupid music down." He added, "I don't have time to watch you spray that stupid ass water at the crowd. You aren't going to spit that water and you're not going to strut around like some kind of hotshot." He told him to get into the ring because they have things to talk about. Hunter took his time as Austin said, "I'm waiting, and I'm still waiting. I'm trying extremely hard to maintain my composure." Austin asked him to do another favor for him: "Take off those rotten sunglasses so I can look at your little beady eyes." Hunter got too close.
Austin told Hunter he got his ass whipped last night. "Kevin Nash pounded your ass all over that building. You should not have that heavyweight championship on your shoulder, but you do. But you shouldn't. But you do. And you know what you did to keep that title on your shoulder?" He explained that he hit the referee with it. He said that may have made him feel like a hotshot. He added that he is going to make him wrestle tonight.
Hunter spoke up finally. "A lot of people think you're just a drunk. I think you're drunk with power." Hunter said no matter what happened last night, one fact is clear - he is still the heavyweight champion. He said that gives him some stroke. He added that he is beat up. "Tonight I am tired and I am not in the mood for any of your crap, so it goes like this: I'm not gonna wrestle tonight," said Hunter. Austin countered: "Yes you will wrestle tonight." Austin said because he feels his pain, he gets to pick his own opponent as long as that opponent is a former World Champion. So that means your options are Kane, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, or Kevin Nash.
Hunter told Austin he is on. He said he would wrestle the greatest former champion of all time. "I'll wrestle my good buddy, Ric Flair." Flair seemed confused by Hunter's choice. "Since you gave me the authority, that's the bottom line because the Game said so," concluded Austin. Ross and Lawler thought Hunter outsmarted Austin, but observed that Flair seemed confused.
[commercial break]
1 -- THREE MINUTE WARNING (w/Rico) vs. D-VON & BUBBA RAY DUDLEY
Jamal went for a splash at 2:30, but D-Von lifted his knees and then hot-tagged Bubba. Bubba went for a crossbody block off the second rope onto Rosie and seemed to refute Newton's Law in the process. Lawler speculated that maybe Bubba was the driver. "He's such a bad driver, the police issued him a season ticket," Lawler quipped. The Dudleys nailed Jamal with their What's Up headbutt. Ross said, "That'll change your dating plans." One of the things you can always count on in this world is that Ross will make reference to someone's evening plans changing when they take a headbutt in the crotch area. Jamal leaped toward D-Von on a table in the ring, but D-Von moved, so Jamal crashed though the table. The Dudleys then gave Rosie the 3D for the win. Rico sold the loss more than Kobe Bryant sold losing to the Spurs last week. "I can't take it anymore!" he shouted. "I'm have it up to here with you. I've had enough of this. I am leaving you." He then walked out without them. Jamal and Rosie were still writhing in pain on the mat.
WINNERS: Dudleys at 6:10.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- I'm not shedding any tears over the break up of Rico and 3MW. I never saw much chemistry there to begin with.
[commercial break]
Backstage Eric Bischoff was sitting in a chair looking sick. Austin said he's been drinking for years and its worked great for him. Austin opened up a beer, then let Bischoff sniff it. Bischoff threw up all over his picture on the wall. Going to the well twice on a vomit spot is pushing it.
Nash confronted Austin outside the locker room. Austin said he beat Hunter from one end of the ring to another. "Don't get worried," Austin said. "As far as I'm concerned, you're the number one contender. You, Kevin Nash, have the winner of the match between Triple H and Ric Flair. You like that?" Nash smiled, although he looked a lot more hung over than Bischoff.
Flair thanked Hunter backstage for the opportunity. "It's the best vs. the best," Flair said. Hunter told Flair he's not understanding him. "I chose you not because you're Ric Flair (the legend), I chose you because you're Ric Flair (my buddy). You'll go out there, we'll talk a little trash, you'll talk a little trash, then you'll lay down, and I'll cover you 1-2-3 and we'll go home. Don't worry about it. You just lay there and I'll do the rest." Flair didn't look thrilled. This is where the invisible camera approach really sucks. If Hunter knows a camera is filming him, he should be flaunting his plan, not plotting it as if it's a secret. By saying they were going to trash talk each other, that implied he was trying to trick Austin and the crowd into thinking they were really going to wrestle. So if that's the case, he shouldn't say that right in front of a camera! That's just an unnecessary lapse in logic that distracts from the ability to emotionally engrossed in the storyline. I do like the rest of the storyline, though, with Flair looking at this as an opportunity and creating at least the impression that he's not just going to lay down for Hunter.
[commercial break]
Chris Jericho hosted "The Highlight Reel" from center ring with his new, more elaborate set including, using his words, "a very expensive plasma TV, the Jerichtron 5000" with the logo on it. He said he wanted to interview the man who double-crossed him last week. Christian came out with a new look - shorter hair, blue jeans (I think bell bottoms), and a sleeveless black top. Jericho said Christian may be a changed man, but that doesn't change what he did to him. "After everything we've done, you slapped me in the face," Jericho said. "Only one thing comes to mind. I would have done the same thing!" Jericho's scowl turned into a smile and he said Christian is now all grown up. "I definitely couldn't have done it without all of my loyal fans," said Christian. "That's right, my heart beats for my peeps. You can forget about Clay, you can forget about Rubin, I am the real American Idol." Jericho said some people are accusing him of being a cheater. Highlight clips aired of the tainted win by Christian, with Booker winning first without the ref seeing it. Christian said Booker is a good kid with a bright future, but he's not championship material. "He doesn't have wicked cool clothes like me or a sweet haircut like this," Christian said. "He definitely doesn't have my brains. I am the new Intercontinental Champion and the referee's decision is final. The best part is I did it under both GM's noses. Say it loud, 'Christian Rules!'" Rob Van Dam's music then played and he walked to the ring.
RVD told Christian he sees what he's trying to do with his new look, but "your catchphrase is weak." He suggested: "You've got the belt and are making the big bucks, but everyone knows Christian still sucks." RVD said what people respect is a fighting champion. He told him he should defend the title against him. "First of all, that would be no," Christian said. "Second of all, I don't appreciate you interrupting my victory party." He then took a shot at RVD. Christian and Jericho stomped away at him. Kane ran out for the save and cleared the ring of the heels. Austin then appeared on the video wall and said he can appreciate that he did what he could to win. He said he would be defending the title very soon. He said he was going to have all the garbage cleared out of the ring so there could be a World Tag Team Title match between those four.
[commercial break]
2 -- ROB VAN DAM & KANE vs. CHRIS JERICHO & CHRISTIAN
Coming out of the break, they joined the match just after it got started. RVD nailed Jericho early with a split-legged moonsault on his back. Christian wrestled in his jeans and shirt. Ross and Lawler reminded viewers of the Austin investigation into who tried to run down Goldberg. Lawler speculated it could have been Kane. Kane pressed and threw Christian onto Jericho at ringside. Kane then whipped RVD over the top rope onto both heels at ringside. RVD hit Rolling Thunder on Jericho at 3:15. Christian's shed the shirt mid-way into the match. Christian went to a brief chinlock, then a neckbreaker for a two count. Lawler suggested Ross was the driver because "I've driven with you and you don't drive a car, you aim it." After some sloppy action, RVD hot-tagged in Kane at 7:40 who went to work on Christian and Jericho. Kane sideslammed Christian and followed with his clothesline off the ropes. Jericho broke up the count. RVD kicked Jericho out of the ring. Kane then chokeslammed Christian. RVD went to the top rope, but Jericho shoved him off. Kane then beat up Jericho with a tilt-a-whirl slam followed by a chokeslam attempt. Christian broke it up with a low kick from behind. Jericho hit the Lionsault and Christian made the cover, but Kane kicked out. It was actually suspenseful because Ross didn't say "It's over!" The ref finally called for the DQ when Christian and Jericho grabbed chairs as weapons. Booker T made the save. Hey, if Booker was in the building, why didn't Austin list him as one of the former World Champions that Hunter could have wrestled? Booker flattened Christian with a leaping wheel kick. The Christian and Jericho fled as Booker did the Spinarooni in the ring.
WINNERS: Kane & RVD via DQ in 11:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4 - Adequate action, but the dead crowd didn't help matters.
Ross and Lawler plugged that fans could vote for who they thought was driving the car at WWE.com.
Shawn Michaels approached Flair backstage. He told him he couldn't lay down for Hunter. Michaels said 15 years ago he walked out there and talked about being The Man, setting the standard. Flair began to well up and cry as Michaels said he strived to live up to his standards. Flair asked if he really thinks he could go out there and beat Triple H. Michaels said, "The question is do you still believe it? I know you can do it." Flair cried as they cut to the commercial.
[commercial break]
3 -- RODNEY MACK (w/Teddy Long) vs. SPIKE DUDLEY
Before the match Long said he realizes that some of the white boys whom Mack has been beating lately aren't very experienced, so they were issuing an open challenge to any white boy in the back. Spike answered the challenge. One thing is for sure, Spike is white. Very white. Long joined in on commentary and said he did a background check on Ross. He said Ross once had a black nanny. Ross denied it. What would Long's problem be with a black nanny? Long talked about his "believe-dat" catch phrase. Spike dove onto Mack at ringside off the top turnbuckle. Mack caught Spike in mid-air in the ring at 3:00. Spike surprised Mack with a roll-up, but Mack kicked out. He followed up with a small package for another near fall. Long kept complaining about the ref counting slow when Spike was the one going for the pin. I think Long got confused or else he was cheering for Mack to lose by fast count so he could complain. Mack applied the Cobra Clutch, which Long named "The Black Out." With 30 seconds left, Spike reached for the ropes. He couldn't get there, but he punched away at Mack to escape, but with two seconds left he tapped out. Lawler said Long was sweating bullets.
WINNER: Rodney Mack at 4:59.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Pretty sloppy and loose match. The finish might have been better had there been 12 seconds left when Spike tapped out. With the crowd counting down, it just didn't seem believable that Spike couldn't have held out for just one more second, especially when he was throwing punches to try to escape just five seconds before that.
[commercial break]
Ross and Lawler discussed Flair's title match against Hunter. Ross said it might be Flair' last world title shot ever.
Austin went into Bischoff's office screaming into a megaphone, then he banged a trash can lid next to his head. He said he has the real cure for his hangover. Bischoff said he was listening. Austin said women. Bischoff seemed game. Then Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah entered. Bischoff wasn't pleased and told them to get their sagging, smelly bodies away from him. Lawler said seeing them made him throw up. He made a barfing noise.
[commercial break]
They showed a close-up of Flair looking at himself in the mirror, still welled up with emotion, strutting in front of the mirror in his robe, and giving out a big smile and a "Whoo!"
Ross said over 250,000 votes were registered regarding the Goldberg controversy.
4 -- TEST (w/Stacy Keibler) & SCOTT STEINER vs. LA RESISTANCE
Steiner and Test argued over who got to start the match, which gave La Resistance a chance to take early control. Dupree whipped Steiner into the stairs at ringside. Back in the ring La Resistance double-suplexed Test. Stacy checked on Steiner at ringside. Ross said his dislike of La Resistance has to do with their arrogance, not that they're from France. Granier shoved Test into Steiner, who had made his way to the ring apron, and he rolled up Test for the win. Ross said he didn't think the Steiner-Test alliance would last. Test and Steiner shoved each other after the match. Stacy got between them and begged that they stop fighting. Steiner attempted to help Stacy out of the ring. Test grabbed Stacy. They had a tug-o-war over her. She got loose and then stormed off without either of them.
WINNERS: La Resistance at 2:10.
STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Not much to it.
Austin walked into a room with a crude hand-written sign that said "Interrogation Room." He lowered the blinds for privacy.
They showed the top ten vote getters in the on-line poll regarding Goldberg: Rock (with 18 percent), Christian, Hunter, Austin, Jericho were the top five in order. The next five with 10 percent or less of the vote were: Lance Storm, Mack, Long, Bischoff, and Flair.
[commercial break]
Austin interrogated Lance Storm under a bright light. Austin told him he found out it was his rental car. Storm refused to talk at first, but then said, "It wasn't my idea!" Austin told him to go to the ring and face Bill Goldberg and think about what he did. "You make me sick," Austin said. "Now go to the ring."
A trainer taped up Hunter's ribs backstage. Hunter was laughing at an anecdote in Freddie Blassie's book. Flair interrupted, put the book aside, and told Hunter he had something serious to talk about. Flair said Hunter told him six months ago that he wanted to see him earn the respect of the fans again. He told Hunter he is the best wrestler in the game today and he wants to find out how good he is. He screamed that he is going to lay down for anyone anymore, especially not in Greenville, S.C. He told him to be at his best. Hunter's face sold the impact of his plan backfiring.
[commercial break]
5 -- BILL GOLDBERG vs. LANCE STORM
Lance Storm's music sounds almost as much like Goldberg's old WCW music as Goldberg's new music does. Goldberg attacked storm as he entered the ring and immediately powerslammed him. Then he tossed Storm with an overhead suplex. he followed with a Spear. Storm sold it big. Goldberg concluded with a big Jackhammer for the win. Storm got zero offense.
WINNER: Goldberg at 1:15.
STAR RATING: n/a.
After the match, Goldberg grabbed Storm by the throat and asked him who put him up to it. Storm could barely talk or breath. Goldberg released his grip. "The guy who set me up, it was Jericho." Goldberg dropped the mic. There was no reaction from the crowd at all.
Ross hyped the TV main event - Hunter vs. Flair.
[commercial break]
Johnathan Coachman chased down Jericho outside the arena packing his car. Coach told him that Storm just revealed it was him who put Storm up to running down Goldberg. Jericho admitted it and said next week Goldberg will be his guest on the Highlight Reel. Ross wondered if Jericho had a death wish.
They replayed Nash powerbombing Hunter through the table at the PPV last night.
6 -- TRIPLE H vs. RIC FLAIR - World Heavyweight Title match
Ross said this is like Mickey Mantle getting one more at bat. "Ric Flair's legacy is not dead!" Flair offered a handshake, then pulled his hand away and let out a "Whoo!" Hunter fired back with a "Whoo!" Flair poked his eye and chopped his chest as the crowd came alive for the first time all night. Flair whipped Hunter into the corner. Hunter bumped over the top to the floor. Flair then suplexed Hunter on the floor. Flair chopped Hunter's chest, then threw him back into the ring. Hunter reversed Flair into a spinebuster, but he was too slowed by his sore ribs to get up quickly. Hunter choked Flair in the corner with his boot, then his hand. Flair came off the top rope with a forearm. Flair then locked on the figure-four at 4:30. Hunter sold it big. "You son of a bitch!" he yelled at Flair. The fans chanted Flair's name. Hunter managed to reach the bottom rope at 5:00. Flair applied a sleeper, but Hunter backed into the ref in the corner. Hunter came back with a facebuster. he then got the title belt. Flair poked Hunter in the eye, then gave him a blow kick. He followed up with a shot to the head with the title belt. Ross declared: "It's gonna be over! It's gonna be over!" That totally ruined it for me because without that obvious premature call by Ross, I would have actually been in suspense over a potential title change. Hunter kicked out barely. Hunter then came back and went for a Pedigree, but Flair backdropped out of it. At 7:20 Hunter hit the Pedigree out of nowhere and scored the pin.
WINNER: Triple H at 7:25.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Good seven minute match.
After the match, Nash came out to the ring. Hunter fled immediately to the back. Nash did what he does best these days, which is just stand there with a grin on his face. Hunter collapsed on the rampway. Austin stepped out and said, "Congratulations, you've got Kevin Nash, Houston, Texas, June 15, Badd Blood, Hell in a Cell." Hunter got up and shook his head in a panic.
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