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KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
JUNE 12, 2003
TAPED TUESDAY

-The show opened with a recap of last week's Cruiserweight Title change. It really was treated like a "big deal," helping cement the impact of last week's first-ever appearance of a cruiserweight match in the TV main event slot. We've got more details on the ratings for the match. Last week's Hardy-Rey match drew a 3.6 rating, and the second-highest rated segment of the show drew a 3.1, so it was a huge ratings success, which reflects well on the quality of the hype for the match and the drawing power of Rey Mysterio and Matt Hardy. The recap included Rey celebrating his win with his family.

-The Smackdown opening then aired followed by Michael Cole and Tazz introducing the program and hyped the Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show main event.

-Backstage, Hardy told Shannon Moore and Crash that they were responsible for him losing the title last week, so they wouldn't be going to the ring with him this week. He then slapped Moore and threw Crash aside.

1 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. MATT HARDY - Cruiserweight Title rematch.

Matt Fact of the Week: "Matt is too handsome to wear a mask like Rey's." Hardy attacked Mysterio before the bell, then hit Mysterio with a hard clothesline in the corner. Mysterio came back and went for an early 619. Hardy ducked and slammed Rey to the mat for a two count. Mysterio came back and bulldogged Hardy off the ropes onto the mat. Both were slow to get up. Hardy gave Mysterio a Side Effect for a two count. Rey went for a leapfrog, but pulled his injured groin in the process. Hardy went for a low blow, but Rey avoided it and then delivered his 619. He was still favoring his leg, but managed a springboard legdrop at 3:30 for a two count. Hardy executed a Splash Mountain (Razor's Edge into a sitdown powerbomb) and went for the pin, but Rey kicked out again. Cole said Hardy was getting noticeably frustrated. Hardy went for the Twist of Fate, but Rey held onto the top rope to block it. Rey then went to the top rope and hit his West Coast Pop for the win.

WINNER: Rey Mysterio at 4:52 to retain the Cruiserweight Title.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Really good five minute match. Good finishing sequence with Rey blocking Hardy's finisher right before scoring the win with his finisher.

-Cole plugged the Vince McMahon-Zach Gowen arm wrestling contest. Credit McMahon for waiting until the end of the first segment to have the announcers mention his segment.

[commercial break]

-Piper's Pit: Roddy Piper and Sean O'Haire stood in the ring in front of Mexican hats and drinks and food, plus some Japanese stuff including sushi. Piper called it an international edition of the Pit. Eddie Guerrero drove to the ring with what Tazz said was a '65 Impala. Tajiri was in the passenger seat. Eddie asked Piper if he was going to hit him over the head with a loaded burrito just like the coconut in the past. Piper asked Guerrero if he was all about lying, cheating, and stealing. Eddie said, "Yes, and at least we're honest." Piper said O'Haire is the future champion of anything he wants to be, so he asked Guerrero to let him hold the tag title. Guerrero wouldn't let him. Tajiri, though, let O'Haire hold it in exchange for getting to eat the sushi. O'Haire wouldn't give it back. Guerrero was going to fight him for it, but Tajiri stopped him and offered him a drink to calm him. Tajiri toasted Piper. Piper cringed when he drank the tequila. Tajiri then sprayed his tequila in Piper's face. Guerrero and Tajiri got the tag belt back and then spilled the table of stuff all over O'Haire and Piper, stomped on them, and left to the cheers of the fans. Okay segment. It's nice to see Piper's Pit get away from being focused on just Mr. McMahon and be utilized to get other acts over. It established that Tajiri might seem a bit naive, but he can be clever, too.

-Backstage, Stephanie walked in on her assigned assistant Sable going through her desk. Sable said she was looking for Zach Gowen's contract. She said she didn't find it, but she did see a note that she is bringing back the U.S. Hvt. Title. Steph said that's was true, and "thanks for ruining the surprise." She told Sable that she doesn't trust her. Sable claimed she was just there to help. Steph said she doesn't need or want an assistant. "If you think you can outmanipulate or outconnive me, Sable, you've got another thing coming," Steph concluded.

[commercial break]

-An ad for Confidential plugged a "Hell in the Cell" preview.

2 -- A-TRAIN vs. BILLY GUNN

-Before the match, Torrie Wilson came to the ring to be guest ring announcer. Tazz and Cole plugged a WWE contest to find a new diva. Torrie called A-Train "a dreamboat, if you a bald man with massive back hair." She then introduced Billy Gunn and said he has the best buns in the business. Gunn did his Mr. Ass gimmick complete with ass-shaking during his ring intro. Gunn is going to once again get every opportunity to move into the second tier singles position, but he's going to have to develop his character beyond just his Mr. Ass cockiness routine if he wants to connect with crowds beyond being seem as a mid-card sideshow act. After the match, Torrie slapped Gunn's ass after the match, then encouraged Gunn to slap her ass. They left the ring together.

WINNER: Gunn at 1:26 with his Fameasser.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Fine for a quick squash. A-Train's stock has obviously dropped since he was given Matt Hardy's spot against Rey Mysterio a few months back. Linking Gunn with Torrie in his return was smart because it keeps away the negative reaction guys might have to his gimmick.

-They showed Brock Lesnar earlier in the day arriving at the arena by walking through a crowd of cheering fans. Cole and Tazz again plugged the main event.

[commercial break]

3 -- UNDERTAKER vs. JOHNNY STAMBOLI (w/Chuck Palumbo, Nunzio)

Taker fended off FBI interference attempts throughout the match. After the match, Palumbo attacked him. He ducked a clothesline and then fired back with a flying clothesline of his own followed by a chokeslam. Nunzio hit Taker with a chair before he could give Palumbo the Last Ride. The FBI then fled to the back.


WINNER: Undertaker at 3:46.

STAR RATING: * -- Solid four minute TV match.

-Mr. America gave Zach Gowen a pep talk backstage.

[commercial break]

-Stephanie came to the ring and began to introduce Zach, but Sable came out instead. Steph was going to ask her how she could help her, but instead pulled the mic away from her before she could talk. She then introduced Zach. Cole talked up all Zach has been through in his life and hyped how much this arm wrestling contest meant to his future. Mr. America came out followed by Vince McMahon, who has the best upper body physique in WWE right now. America told Vince that the problem he has is with him, not Zach. He said he should arm wrestle him. McMahon said he has "billion dollar arms" but he wouldn't arm wrestle him; he said he signed on to arm wrestling "that little kid over there" (Zach). Sable whispered in McMahon's ear. McMahon then said he would arm wrestle America after all, but a Zach contract wouldn't be on the line. McMahon said if America (calling him "Hogan") lost, he'd have to leave the premises. America accepted the challenge. The contest began as a stalemate. Vince, though, was popping blood vessels while Hogan seemed calm and even had time to give McMahon the finger. Sable put her hands on their hands. McMahon then pulled away and Sable accused America of cheating. Steph said if Sable touched one of the contestants again, she would DQ McMahon and declare America the winner. They locked hands again. When America was about to win, McMahon signalled for Sable to flash America her bare breasts. America got distracted and McMahon won. Cole said America did what anyone would have. McMahon was declared the winner. America got in his face shaking. McMahon asked him to go ahead and hit him and then he'll make sure Zach never gets a contract. McMahon then asked America to live up to his word and leave so he could give Zach his chance. He asked America to take Steph with him.

That left just Vince and Zach in the ring. They arm wrestled. Vince asked Zach if he was worried that his dreams were on the line. Vince got cocky at first, then Zach's "spirit and determination" seemed to give him a chance at a major upset. Vince got so worried that Vince kicked Zach's prosthetic leg out from under him and Vince slammed his hand to the mat to win. Vince celebrated, gloated, and then asked Zach how it felt to see his dreams go up in smoke. Vince yelled that Zach should get out of the ring because he doesn't deserve to be in the ring. He called him a "freak." Zach hung his head and walked away as Vince climbed the corner turnbuckles to celebrate, then limped around the ring to mock Zach. Cole said Zach's hopes of being a WWE superstar have gone up in smoke.

[commercial break]

-After a recap aired from the previous segment, they went backstage to Zach and Mr. America. Big Show walked up to Zach and said he had two words for him, "Forget... It..." Then he walked away. Nice little spot to get Show over as a nasty, mean heel.

4 -- CHRIS BENOIT & RHYNO vs. THE BASHAMS (w/Shaniqua)

Tazz wondered what happened to Tough Enough winner Linda Miles now that she's with the Bashams and calling herself Shaniqua. Danny Basham put Rhyno in a chinlock in the opening minute, which wasn't the most exciting option. Chris Benoit tagged in shortly thereafter and picked up the pace considerably. When Benoit went for a top rope headbutt, Shaniqua distracted Benoit long enough to give Basham a chance to escape. Rhyno mistakenly hit Benoit leading to the Basham's getting the win. Benoit and Rhyno argued after the match. Cole said that was two weeks in a row.

WINNERS: Basham Brothers at 3:08.

STAR RATING: * -- Good short tag match.

[commercial break]

-Rhyno and Benoit continued to argue backstage. Rhyno told him it was a mistake and asked Benoit to look in his eyes because they've been through a lot he can trust him. Benoit didn't buy it and stormed off.

5 -- JOHN CENA vs. FUNAKI

Cole's pre-match rap accused Michael Cole of being a fan of boy bands. He also said he'd make fun of Funaki's "camel toe" and said he doesn't need to beat him because he's "choking himself with his waistband." Funaki, in response, pulled his tights down a little to loosen the crotch area. Funaki then did a rap in response calling Cena "ugly." Cena just laughed, then when the bell rang he clotheslined Funaki and stomped away at him aggressively.

WINNER: Cena at 0:35.

STAR RATING: Just a short squash. Cena looked good in his aggressiveness after the fun prematch banter. It was a good segment in that since Cena isn't in a feud right now, this short segment helped establish his character and let him "look strong" in the ring.

-They showed Kurt Angle backstage. WWE must've not been thrilled with the disappointing quarter hour rating Angle drew last week (the viewership for his segment went up, but not nearly as much as they had anticipated) because he wasn't even mentioned on this week's show until well over an hour into it.

[commercial break]

-Angle came out with a big smile on his face and told the fans it felt so good to come back last week. He said he's looking forward even more to watching the TV main event this week because he issued a challenged to the winner of the match. He then called out Team Angle, who "called in sick" last week when Kurt made his big return. Team Angle walked out with their hoods over their heads. Angle asked them where they were last week. Charlie Haas said they really were sick. Shelton Benjamin agreed, adding, "Sick of being your shadow. We're supposed to be a team, but all you can think about is yourself." He said it was their fault for losing their tag titles. He asked where Kurt was when they were fighting night after night to keep his name alive. Angle said he is sick of hearing them go from "world class athletes to world class whining little bitches." Angle said they need to sit down and have a discussion and figure out how to regain the tag titles. Haas said Angle is all talk and no action lately. He said Angle lost at WrestleMania and suffered a broken neck. He said Kurt has been a loser lately, and added that they're tired of hearing the fans chant "You suck." Angle said they don't deserve to have the fans chant that at them. "Do you know why the fans chant that at me every night? For one reason and one reason only: I earned it. For years in WWE I won title after title, I earned that right. So if you want to break up Team Angle, then..." Haas interrupted and said they don't want to break up Team Angle, they just want to become "co-captains" and become Kurt's leader. Kurt said as founder of Team Angle, he is the head of making decisions, so "on behalf of Team Angle, you're outta here!" Benjamin said he can't do that. Angle said they were both out. They threw a hissy fit as the fans chanted, "Angle, Angle." He then sang "na na na na hey hey hey goodbye" and of course the fans joined in.

[commercial break]

-They showed a clip from "during the break" of Haas & Benjamin confronting Kurt backstage, trying to keep the team together. Kurt told them they blew it, so they attacked him from behind and stomped on him.

-Big Show's ring entrance then took place.

[commercial break]

6 -- BROCK LESNAR vs. BIG SHOW - WWE Title match

Cole and Tazz mentioned that next week's Smackdown is the 200th episode. Brock charged Show with a shoulder tackle to start the match, but Show fired back immediately, knocking Brock down for a one count. I'm a big fan of one counts early in the match because it makes two counts later see a bit more serious. Show slapped Brock's chest a couple of times. The action spilled to ringside at 1:30 where Brock took over offense. Show, though, quickly reversed Brock into the ringside steps. Back in the ring Show scored a two count after a sidewalk slam. Show then applied a half Boston Crab. Lesnar crawled to the bottom rope to force a break. Brock moved out of Show's path as he charged him in the corner. Brock then back suplexed Show, an impressive looking feat. Brock then showed fire and then set up the F5, but he couldn't hold Show in the air, so he dropped show. Cole pointed out that Brock was favoring the ribs that Show worked over earlier in the match. Show fired back with a hard clothesline on Brock. Show then signalled for the chokeslam. Brock escaped the chokeslam attempt, but Show flattened Brock with a boot followed by a legdrop at 5:30. Brock kicked out at two. Show signalled for the chokeslam again. He gave Brock a big chokeslam for another two count at 6:00. Show looked bug-eyed in disbelief that he didn't score the pin. Show set up another chokeslam, but rather than slam Brock, he held Brock by the throat and then climbed to the top rope. Brock knocked Show off balance and crotched him. Brock then set up a superplex. Tazz said, "No freakin' way!" He superplexed Show, and then the ring collapsed. All four turnbuckles fell and the ring fell flat. The crowd popped, Tazz got bleeped, and the ref sat in disbelief. Both Brock and Show were KO'd on the mat and didn't move. The crowd began a "Holy sh--!" chant. EMTs ran to the ring to check on the wrestlers. They replayed the ring collapse from several angles. Cole said they were running out of time and he didn't know what to say about what just happened. The crowd got silent after a minute, beginning to wonder perhaps if the two wrestlers really were hurt. They went to a wide shot and then faded to black.

WINNER: No Decision.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Good, solid match leading up to the great, memorable finish.

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