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KELLER'S TNA REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (7-16-03): Russo vs. D-Lo main events show, plus Raven, Sabin, Jarrett, Justin, Kaz, Sting
Jul 17, 2008 - 9:40:48 AM |
KELLER'S NWA-TNA PPV REPORT
JULY 16, 2003
LIVE FROM NASHVILLE, TENN.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
-D-Lo Brown beat Sonny Siaki, and thus earned five minutes with Vince Russo in the TV main event. Russo had A.J. Styles, Legend, Siaki, and Trinity help him attack D-Lo come match time. The show ended with a beatdown to set up next week's best of three falls Style vs. D-Lo NWA Title match.
-Chris Sabin beat Frankie Kazarian to retain the X Title on a reversed decision DQ.
-There were no matches that reached the three star range as most were shorter than necessary to fully develop, but most of the action was really solid.
-Raven returned and saved America's Most Wanted from an attack by Glenn Gilbertti, Simon Diamond, and Johnny Swinger. Raven then called out James Mitchell and Shane Douglas. Brian Lee and Slash returned to help beat down Raven.
-Amazing Red returned to beat Elix Skipper.
DETAILED RESULTS AND ANALYSIS OF THE SHOW
-The show opened with a brawl in progress between Jeff Jarrett and Joe E. Legend at ringside. Mike Tenay and Don West screamed about how it started off-air. Security broke them up.
-Tenay and West previewed tonight's show and announced the signing of a three fall match next week with D-Lo Brown challenging A.J. Styles for the NWA World Title - the first fall you must win by pinfall, the second fall you must win by submission, and the third fall if necessary will be a ladder match.
-D-Lo Brown came out to the ring and talked about how excited he was that his lobbying for the title shot next week paid off. He said he had a plan to get rid of those who might interfere on Styles's behalf. He said he had Sonny Siaki in the ring this week, and he got a stipulation added that if he beats Siaki, he gets five minutes in the ring with Russo. Tenay and West reacted as if they had won the lottery, although the crowd seemed a bit mixed as far as their interest level in Russo.
1 -- D-LO BROWN vs. SONNY SIAKI (w/Trinity)
D-Lo fended off interference from Trinity a couple of times and won with a bridge. After scoring the pin, D-Lo yelled for Russo's men to get him ready for a beating later.
WINNER: D-Lo at 3:00.
STAR RATING: *
-A video feature aired with comments from Justin Credible and Jerry Lynn on their feud.
2 -- JERRY LYNN vs. JUSTIN CREDIBLE - Last Man Standing match
They began with intense brawling. Lynn's face was covered in blood by the 2:00 mark. Lynn, though took control of the offense and catapulted Lynn into the ringpost, although it showed some light. Justin had bladed right before the catapult, so when the camera zoomed in on him after the catapult, he was already bleeding pretty heavily. Tenay said both are now going to have to fight through lost vision and diminished strength due to blood loss. Lynn gave Justin a huracanrana off the rope through a table at ringside. Justin came back a minute later with a superkick followed by a twisting tombstone piledriver and scored a three count at 6:52. Lynn had a ten count to rise, and he did stand at the eight count. They began trading pinfalls over the next five minutes. Eventually, Justin was counted down when Lynn stood up before he did during a simultaneous ten count.
WINNER: Lynn at 11:27.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Good, dramatic, brutal brawl, but short of three stars because it did get a bit one dimensional at the end with one pinfall and near-ten-count after another. Nothing wrong with the way the match played out, it just wasn't designed to be more than what it turned out to be.
-Ron Killings, B.G. James, and Konnan interviewed random people at a county fair. they showed cattle pooping. Killings had fake rotting front teeth in his mouth. They talked street to what they perceived to be Southern hicks. They played banjo music in the background to demean the people they were talking to. I hope they've got some idea of how to turn this into a money angle in the ring because in and of itself, these skits are okay, but not funny enough to justify the time spent on them.
-Back live Jarrett and Legend were brawling again at ringside. Security broke them up. Jarrett encouraged cheers from the crowd by clapping over his head. Fans chanted "TNA." Tenay and West plugged that Jarrett and Legend would get to brawl without interference by security later in an official match.
3 -- CHRIS SABIN vs. FRANKIE "THE FUTURE" KAZARIAN - X Title match
At 7:00 Sabin went for a top rope dropkick, but he hit the ref when Kazarian moved. With the ref down, Sabin powerbombed Kazarian. Since the ref was down, Sabin grabbed the X belt and swung at Kazarian. Kazarian ducked and then nailed Sabin with his Wave of the Future for the win. A second ref ran out and said that Kazarian hit the Wave of the Future on the title belt, prompting a reversal of the decision.
WINNER: Sabin via DQ at 7:58.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good X Division match, but eight minutes isn't enough time to create a buzzworthy title match. They need to give 15 minutes to X Division matches or else the division loses a lot.
-New Jack, with Shark Boy standing behind him, cut an intense promo about their match with the Harris Boys. Shark Boy presented New Jack with a Shark Boy mask. "You are like hemhoroid, you are a pain in my ass," he said. New Jack agreed to wear it if that's what it took to get his ass in the ring. I don't understand New Jack saying he'd wear the mask if that's what it took to get the Harrises in the ring since he already had a match booked against them. New Jack's forehead scars from blading make it look like he's got a second brain forming on his forehead.
4 -- DON & RON HARRIS vs. SHARK BOY & NEW JACK
Tenay called New Jack and Shark Boy "The Odd Couple." West asked for an explanation on the finish of the X Division match. West genuinely didn't understand the decision. Tenay explained. West pointed out that even though Sabin brought the belt into the ring, he benefited from it because it ultimately saved his title. It was interesting to hear West genuinely not understand the convoluted finish and then basically make a mockery of it by calling it ridiculous. It was a nonsense finish in the sense that the second ref should have known Sabin brought it in the ring, so unless he's a heel ref, he should have at the very least ordered the match to continue rather than punish Kazarian for something that Sabin initiated. Once New Jack tagged out, the Harrises manhandled Shark Boy. New Jack tagged back in at 4:00 and got in some offense in the ring on Ron as Shark continued to take a beating from Don at ringside. The Harrises double-teamed New Jack with an H-Bomb for the win. After the match the Harrises unmasked Shark Boy, but then turned their back to Shark Boy and New Jack. New Jack then took off his mask and put it on Shark Boy's head before anyone could see his face. Shark Boy slinked out of the ring, then ran back with the puffy Incredible Hulk hands and punched the Harrises. The Harrises sold for the punches and rolled out of the ring. Boy was that dumb.
WINNERS: The Harrises at 5:08.
STAR RATING: 1/2*
-Mike Tenay had a sitdown interview with Kid Kash. The Abyss walked around making trouble like a curious cat in a new room. He listed those he has defeated: Ivan Koloff, Ricky Morton, Junkyard Dog, Amazing Red, A.J. Styles, and Jerry Lynn. He said he has defeated the best and earned his stripes. he did "know or blow somebody" to get his spot. When Tenay asked Kash a question, Kash mocked him back. Funny. Kash told Tenay when he's been in the business as long as he has, then he might give him some respect. I actually think Tenay has similar tenure collecting checks from wrestling one way or another for as long as Kash. Kash took some shots at Goldy Locks. When Tenay asked why he has Abyss around to hide behind. Kash said he isn't hiding behind him. Abyss then got in Tenay's face and Tenay freaked out, but the camera angle was so out of position that we couldn't see what Abyss was doing to Tenay. They went to a close-up of Tenay's face who made a really funny face with a tightened mouth.
-Scott Hudson interviewed Erik Watts and Goldy Locks backstage. Watts said next week he'd reveal who this "Eric" is that he has talked about coming in to TNA to restore order. He and Goldy then got horny and walked away arm in arm.
-A video feature aired on Christopher Daniels again. Good production, although I'm still a bit bewildered about where he's coming from after it was over. Not bad, but a bit over my head I guess.
-Elix Skipper came to the ring with a scale. "Obviously you people must have forgotten. Not a damn thing changed," he said. "This is still the house that Prime Time built. You are looking pound for pound at the best wrestler in the world." He added "it isn't easy being me." I crack up at Skipper's mic delivery, but I'm not crazy about this "pound for pound" stuff. To me it's just a way of drawing attention to the notion that a bigger man could kick his ass. I wish instead he'd say he's the best "X Division" wrestler or best athlete and stay away from drawing attention to the size issue. It seems patronizing when announcers say that about wrestlers, and unnecessarily self-deprecating when Elix says it about himself.
5 -- AMAZING RED vs. ELIX SKIPPER
Tenay pointed out that Skipper has not only co-held the NWA World Tag Team Titles, but he also is a former WCW Cruiserweight Champion. West said Red and Skipper have never gone one-on-one before. Skipper DDT'd Red off the ring apron onto the floor in a cool looking move at 1:25. Red scored his first near fall after a DDT off the ropes. Skipper KO'd Red with the scale he brought to the ring with him for the win.
WINNER: Skipper at 5:01.
STAR RATING: ** -- Good five minute match.
-Part three aired of Tenay's sitdown interview called "Sting - Behind the Paint." Sting asked about his first NWA Heavyweight Title win. "That was a night I'll never forget. Baltimore was always a great town to wrestle in, the fans were some of the best in the country. Ric made me look like a million dollars. I had just come off of reconstructive leg surgery." He said he trusted Ric even though he should probably taken a couple extra months off. Tenay asked him what the WCW "roller coaster ride" was like. "I always felt were always a far cry from the top organization. There was always the WWF and then WCW. We fought tooth and nail and we finally caught up." He said Nitro closed the gap and it was clear the creative juices were flowing. "We were number one, and then way up number one." Tenay asked if he had any stories about the time he spent in the rafters. "I can tell you to this day that if I had to do it tonight, I'd be nervous beyond measure," he said. They teased next week a story about being helped at a time when he was about to lose everything, including his family and his life.
-Don Callis walked to the ring with Edward Chastaine. I like the look of Chastaine as a Vader/Bam Bam Bigelow-like-big-guy wearing a suit. Callis said he is uniquely qualified to make the necessary changes in TNA to help the promotion. Tenay said Callis is against Hardcore style wrestling. Callis said his market research says Sandman attracts a drunk degenerate demographic and that the masses of fans don't want hardcore wrestling anymore. Well, I'd agree with that statement.
6 -- NORMAN SMILEY vs. EDWARD CHASTAINE (w/Don Callis)
Smiley danced to the ring and got a nice pop, instantly infuriating Jeff Jarrett who's been dreaming of fans chanting his name for months. Norman walked to the ring and immediately got a "Norman" chant. You knew the match would be over quickly when in the first minute Smiley went for his "Wiggle." Smiley went for a sunset flip, but Chastaine didn't budge. Chastaine went to sit down on Smiley, but Smiley moved. Chastaine followed up with a sideslam and a cover, but Smiley put his leg over the bottom rope. Smiley hit three consecutive clotheslines, but Chastaine wouldn't go down. He finally got Chastaine to his knees with a forearm, the gave him the "Big Wiggle." Chastaine knocked Smiley out with a big splash ("Ground Zero Splash") at 3:11. If the name of that finisher is meant to exploit 9-11, then they ought to come up with a new name.
WINNER: Chastaine at 3:15.
STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Boy, Chastaine is almost immobile in there. Not exactly someone who carries his weight well in the ring. He can barely move or sell or execute offense.
-Chris Harris called the cage match tag title win the greatest night of their careers. They said "Jackass" came to mind when asked about Glenn Gilberti. They picked R&R Express over Midnight Express. Storm added, "Best babyface tag team of all time." When asked about TNA, Harris said, "Home, and home is where the heart is." They argued over who's finisher was better - a friendly argument, though. Good, genuine promo.
-Glenn Gilberti, Simon Diamond, and Johnny Swinger complained about not getting a fair chance at the NWA Tag Team Titles last week. They called Jeremy Borash into the ring. Gilberti read a statement from Borash's weekly website report stating that AMW are highly regarded as the best tag team in the industry and earning respect behind the scenes for carrying themselves as professionals. Diamond said they should make him eat his words. Gilberti then shoved the paper in his mouth. Borash took a slam at Gilberti. Then AMW ran in to prevent Borash from getting completely whooped. They took down Diamond and Swinger, then turned to Gilberti and knocked him to ringside. Diamond came back with a stiff shot to James Storm with a chair. Swinger then KO'd Harris. Gilberti reentered the ring and grabbed the mic and sat down on the chair. He said they weren't leaving the ring until someone from the NWA promises them a tag team title match. Swinger & Diamond continued to stomp away at AMW in the ring as Gilberti issued his demands. Raven came out to a big pop, making his return after a couple weeks away, and attacked the heels. Harris and Storm helped clear the ring, then Raven grabbed the mic and addressed the crowd.
Raven said he didn't come to the ring to whine, bitch, or complain. "I came out to demand that both of you take a guided tour through Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun," he said. James Mitchell and Shane Douglas walked out onto the stage. "Raven, Shane Douglas is going to teach you a lesson tonight in real pain." Raven ran up to the stage and attacked Mitchell and Douglas. Raven then threw Douglas into the ring and the brawl was on. Brian Lee and Slash ran to the ring to help Douglas outnumber Raven. Douglas low-blowed Raven. Slash & Lee attacked Raven as Douglas set up a chair. Mitchell told Raven his first lesson in pain was about to begin. Douglas gave Raven a drop toe hold sending Raven face-first into the chair. Mitchell shoved a mic in Raven's face and asked him if he had enough. Raven said, "Go to hell!" Mitchell ordered his men to give him another visit to the chair. Douglas again hit the drop toe hold into the chair. Mitchell said, "I won't go to hell, Raven, I brought hell to you!"
-Hudson interviewed Joe E. Legend, who said he didn't come to TNA to mess around, he came to TNA from Canada to destroy Jeff Jarrett, "a typical low-life American folk hero." He finished with his catchphrase "legends live forever."
7 -- LEGEND vs. JEFF JARRETT
They've officially complete dropped the Joe E. part of Legend's name. Jarrett attacked Legend on the stage and quickly brawled to the ring. Jeff Von Erich was wearing a wrap around his ribs. He went nuts with chairshots on security. Vince Russo entered the ring with a chair. As Jarrett turned his attention to him, Legend hit Jarrett over the back of the head with the plastic bat then scored a quick three count.
WINNER: Legend at 2:13.
STAR RATING: * -- Good brawl, but not long enough to justify it's top billing.
-Tenay said he doesn't think anything has been settled between Jarrett and Legend. West then plugged next week's line-up: AMW vs. Swinger & Diamond in a tag title match, Raven & C.M. Punk & Julio Deniro vs. Shane Douglas & Brian Lee & Slash, and Styles vs. D-Lo in a three-falls match for the NWA Hvt. Title.
-Hudson interviewed Vince Russo backstage. Russo head a hockey helmet on. Russo said Jarrett is officially out of the title picture. "Jarrett lost, now he starts at the bottom," he said. He added, "Wrestlers are stupid, don't forget that." Nice.
8 -- VINCE RUSSO vs. D-LO BROWN
D-Lo had the human-sized wooden cage in the ring next to him. Russo walked out onto the stage, then turned around to leave. The ref ordered him back to the ring. He began to walk back to the ring, putting a mouth guard in his mouth. "I ain't no wrestle," Russo said over and over again. Fans chanted "D-Lo, D-Lo." A.J. Styles entered the ring and went after D-Lo. D-Lo knocked Styles around the ring and threw him into the cage, which Russo was hiding behind. D-Lo threw Styles into the cage and locked Styles in it. Sonny Siaki then ran out and attacked D-Lo. Styles tried to handcuff D-Lo to the top rope, but D-Lo instead handcuffed Styles. Trinity then ran out, so D-Lo gave her a powerbomb. So much for the "no violence against women" edict. Legend then ran out and attacked D-Lo. D-Lo threw Legend at the cage that Styles was locked inside. A.J. then broke out of the flimsy cage. Legend and Styles stomped away at D-Lo. Styles gave D-Lo a Styles Clash in center-ring. Trinity counted D-Lo's shoulders down. Russo yapped on the house mic, encouraging the beating to continue. West and Tenay agreed that they needed to get an authority figure to restore order. All the heels raised their arms. Russo said, "That's what you call New York style; get some of it." Russo said he had the gang attack planned all night and he never sweated D-Lo. Tenay then signed off after a final plug for next week's NWA Title match.
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