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WWE SMACKDOWN
JULY 24, 2003
TAPED TUESDAY IN FRESNO, CALIF.
-The Smackdown opening montage aired.
-Stephanie McMahon walked out and said her father is doing what he should be doing, which is taking care of her mom, a rare reference on Smackdown to a Raw angle. She said she was taking over Smackdown again and there would be no more lopsided main events. She announced Brock Lesnar & Kurt Angle & Zach Gowen vs. Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas & Big Show. She then turned her attention to Sable. "Watch out because this Sunday I'm going to treat you like the bitch you are," she said. John Cena's music then started and he walked out. Cena said he had a dream about her last night and had him "standing at attention." He began staring at Steph's chest and lost his concentration. He said she has made each of his five girlfriends jealous. He then went into a series of phrases that had double-entendres attached. He then offered Steph $20 to "please rip Sable's top off." He said Steph is a diva with class, unlike Sable who is a ho. Steph dared Cena to put his hands on her ass. She turned around and bent over. Cena slapped her. Sable's music then began. She came on the big screens and said what Cena just did won't compare to what she's going to do to her at Vengeance. Then they went to highlights of their food fight. It featured just Sable on offense. Steph pointed out that it ended when her on top and security having to pry her off. Sable then said after what happened to her mother on Monday, she better take good care of her. She said that she (Sable) would be taking special care of her father. Sable then asked Steph to "come get some." Steph marched to toward the back. Well, if you like Steph's character and wished there was more of her on these shows, this opening segment is for you. Her smug "Awe shucks I am sexy, aren't I?" reaction to Cena's "bought and paid for" ogling at her would be tolerable if she were actually hired and on TV for her "sex appeal" rather than her last name.
[commercial break]
-They went backstage to Steph screaming for Sable. A startled Torrie pointed Steph in the right direction.
1 -- KIDMAN & REY MYSTERIO vs. MATT HARDY & SHANNON MOORE
Matttiude Factoid: "Mattitude is Considered Sacred in Japan" and "Matt defeated Kidman & Mysterio on Consecutive PPVs." The discussion with Cole and Tazz shifted back to Steph. Cole briefly acknowledged that something bad happened to Linda McMahon on Raw on Monday without getting into details or mentioning Kane's name. Shortly after Moore tagged in at 4:30, Kidman hot-tagged Rey. Rey cleaned up on both Moore and Hardy. He was about to give Moore the 619, but Hardy interfered. Moore then kicked Rey. Hardy then gave Kidman the Side Effect. He then caught Rey in mid-air with a sitdown powerbomb at 5:45. The ref restored order and counted a near fall with Moore covering Rey. Kidman tagged in and hit Moore with a crossbody block. As the ref tried to get Rey out of the ring, Hardy legdropped a prone Kidman. The ref began to count the pin, but Rey made the save. Rey then leg scissored Hardy over the top rope. Kidman then dropkicked Moore into the ropes. Rey then nailed him with the 619. Rey then dove onto Hardy at ringside with a springboard dive. Kidman then nailed Moore with the Shooting Star Press for the win.
WINNERS: Kidman & Rey Mysterio at 7:20.
STAR RATING: ** -- Good TV tag match. The relatively complex sequences in the final few minutes were pulled off with good timing and execution leading to the finish, including some especially cool signature moves from Rey. Kidman's lost a little grace on his Shooting Star Press, but pulled it off with impact.
-Backstage Steph caught up to Sable and rammed her head into a limo. She screamed at Sable for implying she's "taking care of her dad." They got rough. Steph ripped off Sable's top, and a black bar across the screen blocked out the naughty parts. Sable then locked herself in the limo. Steph screamed, "Let me in!" Then she pounded on the door. She grabbed a pipe, but Vince McMahon stepped into the picture and stopped her. The limo drove away. Steph began crying and said he is supposed to be at home taking care of Linda. McMahon told her to concentrate on the match with Sable or else she'll end up incapacitated, "just like your mother." He walked away. Steph threw the pipe to the ground and screamed a final time. The intensity between Sable and Steph was high and will sell a PPV buys, especially with the added teases that there will be clothes ripped off.
[commercial break]
2 -- BILLY GUNN (w/Torrie Wilson) vs. JAMIE NOBLE
Before the match Noble told the crowd not to draw conclusions from the absence of Nidia from his side. He said, not so convincingly, that she was sick. He then asked what Torrie's price was. Gunn charged to the ring and aggressively defended the honor of "his girl." When Noble took control at ringside at 1:00, he chased Torrie into the ring. Gunn intercepted Noble with a Rock Bottom and scored a quick three count.
WINNER: Gunn at 1:35.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Good intensity by Gunn.
-After the match, Noble challenged Gunn to a rematch. He said he better than Gunn in the ring and even more so in bed. Torrie stopped Gunn from going after Noble again and asked for the mic. Torrie said she had a proposition for Jamie. "I'm so confident in Billy's abilities - all of them - that if you beat Billy at Vengeance, I'll sleep with you right here on Smackdown next week." Gunn didn't look thrilled with her impromptu offer. Well, I know who's winning their match at Vengeance. They're not going to pass up the chance for skits involving Torrie sleeping with Noble. You know it's going to involve Noble being "too nervous to perform" or "passing out" before consummating the night, then waking up and wondering what happened.
-Footage aired from the WWE Smackdown of the Far East. Cena made sushi for Matt Hardy. Rey said they only do it once or twice a year, but they go out there and have fun so the fans come back again. That's how it is with all house shows, or should be.
[commercial break]
-They replayed Torrie's "indecent proposal" to Noble.
-Backstage APA talked to A-Train about the Barroom Brawl. Train sounded very confident he could win. They talked about other entrants in the APA Invitational Brawl: Matt and John from Tough Enough, Doink the Clown, The Conquistadors, Brother Love, and the Easter Bunny have been added. Ron Simmons said the Easter Bunny "dissed the hood" when he was growing up. Brooklyn Brawler then entered and said he didn't get his invitation. Bradshaw said he was terrible as a wrestler. Brawler said he just wants to get his hands on Doink because he hates clowns. They said they might give him a chance but he'd have to prove he isn't a total loser first. Bradshaw also slipped in a couple plugs for his new book on investing. Bradshaw concluded with some reference to a "priest altar boy" that I didn't understand. You know, I don't hate this. I'm all for this "ha ha" comedy stuff every once in a while as a novelty, and they're playing it up as lite, stupid comedy, nothing more.
-Cole and Tazz previewed Vengeance's line-up.
-A Cena vignette aired with him standing outdoors surrounded by a burning star symbol on the ground. He said he'd go "666 on his ass."
[commercial break]
-Eddie Guerrero drove out to ringside in his Chevrolet. He noticed something wrong. He opened the trunk and revealed the hydrolics that help it bounce up and down. He began shining the chrome. He talked about facing his "best friend, Chris Benoit" at Vengeance for the U.S. Title. Benoit came out to his music. They hugged when Benoit entered the ring. Benoit then grabbed the mic and said, "Best friends? Best friends? It's been months since you've called me. Months!" He asked him how many best friends does he have. He looked at the fans. "How many best friends can someone who lies, cheats, and steals have?" Benoit asked. Cole acknowledged the crowd was mixed in their reaction to Benoit. Guerrero said he caught him lying that he is his best friend. "The truth is, I can't stand you," Guerrero said. He said everywhere he's gone, he's had to listen to people describe Benoit as the "greatest technical wrestler in the world." They exchanged a few more words, then Guerrero tried to attack Benoit from behind. They brawled to the floor where Guerrero sprayed Benoit in the eyes with car wax spray. Benoit screamed in agony. Many fans chanted, "Eddie, Eddie." Rhyno showed up for the save, and fans booed. Benoit continued to scream in agony. Does WWE expect fans to turn on Guerrero after months of glorifying that he lies, cheats, and steals? Rhyno challenged Guerrero to get in the ring "so I can beat your ass." Guerrero mocking sprayed wax at him, then began to get into his car. Rhyno said he knows he doesn't have any friends, but he never thought he'd prove to have no cajones. Guerrero took offense at that comment and began to make his way to the ring Cole wondered if they would wrestle next.
END OF FIRST HOUR
[commercial break]
3 -- RHYNO vs. EDDIE GUERRERO
The match was joined in progress. Mid-match Rhyno put Guerrero in a Crippler Crossface. At 7:00 when Rhyno was going to go for the Gore, Guerrero tossed the ref in his way. Then, with the ref disoriented, he gave Rhyno a low-blow. Guerrero then pretended he got the low-blow. Guerrero then finished off Rhyno with a dropkick and help from the ropes.
WINNER: Guerrero in 8:00
STAR RATING: ** -- Good TV match. What you'd expect from these two.
[commercial break]
-The WrestleMania flashback featured the Andre the Giant promo where he choked Bob Euker. Cole said tickets for WM go on sale in September.
-A clip aired of the APA "in the Middle East this weekend" handing a soldier a flyer inviting Saddam Hussein to their brawl. The soldier asked for some water. APA said they had water and Gatorade, then walked away. The soldier looked frustrated.
4 -- THE APA vs. CHUCK PALUMBO & JOHNNY STAMBOLI (w/Nunzio)
WINNERS: Bradshaw & Faarooq (he's Faarooq again, by the way) at 0:30.
STAR RATING: NR -- Not long enough to generate a rating, but Bradshaw's clothesline was vicious. There are some newer viewers who are going to be surprised the APA are actually wrestlers and not just backstage skit actors.
-After the match, Brooklyn Brawler nailed the APA with chairshots. Sean O'Haire, the Bashams, A-Train, and the FBI beat up the APA. Cole said they were all invited to the Barroom Brawl on Sunday.
[commercial break]
-They showed Zach Gowen warming up backstage. Vince McMahon walked in. Zach jumped up. Vince said it's not his style to sneak up behind people. He told Zach after he's done with him Sunday fans are going to have a real reason to feel sorry for him. Zach told Vince he is a sorry excuse for a human being. Vince told Zach not to make him reconsider giving him until Sunday. Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar walked into the picture. Vince walked out.
-Cole and Tazz previewed Vengeance again. They produced a cool video with each match highlighted featuring clips of the angles building up the match.
[commercial break]
5 -- BROCK LESNAR & KURT ANGLE & ZACH GOWEN vs. CHARLIE HAAS & SHELTON BENJAMIN & BIG SHOW
Zach tagged in for the first tim,e at 3:00 when Brock threw him into Benjamin & Hass. Brock then suplexed Haas, setting up a slingshot legdrop by Zach for a cover. "This kid is amazing," proclaimed Cole. Zach then took a clothesline from Haas and took a vicious back bump. Big Show tagged ina nd began throwing Zach around the ring. It's going to be hard for people flipping channels to not stay tuned to this scene. Some people are going to think Show bit and ate Zach's leg during the match. When Show picked up Zach, Brock clipped Show from behind. Zach fell on top for a two count. Zach tagged Angle in. Show slammed Angle and then Brock, then shoved Zach off the ring apron. Angle and Brock recovered and clotheslined Show over the top rope to the floor. A four-way broke out in the ring while Vince nailed Zach's leg with a chair. Zach pounded the floor with his hand in pain. Angle gave Benjamin an Angle slam. Brock sidewalk slammed Haas. Angle went to check on Zach at ringside. Brock called for help from the back. As Zach was helped to the back, they cut to a commercial.
[commercial break]
The heels dominated Angle for a few minutes, then Brock got a hot-tag at 15:00. He suplexed and tossed around Haas and Benjamin. Show, though, blindsided Brock and went for a chokeslam. Brock escaped and vertical suplexed Show for a big crowd pop. Lesnar crawled over hot-tagged Angle at 16:45. He clotheslined Haas and Benjamin out of the ring, then applied the Anklelock on Show. Show screamed in pain. Brock fended off Haas's attempted save with an F5, but in the process Brock knocked Haas's legs into the back of Angle's head. Clever move. Benjamin knocked Lesnar out of the ring. Show then chokeslammed Angle and scored the pin. Lesnar attacked Show with a chair after the match. Angle then got in Brock's face afterward. He slapped Brock. BRock then went for an F5. Angle escaped and went for an Angle Slam. Show then caught both of them with a double chokeslam.
WINNERS: Show & Benjamin & Haas at 17:51 when Show pinned Angle.
STAR RATING: *** -- Very good six-man tag. Zach's role was handled perfectly. Good finishing sequence to the match and even better post-match action, as it planted another seed in the tension between Angle and Lesnar plus built up Show's credibility headed into the PPV.
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