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KELLER'S NWA-TNA PPV REPORT
SEPTEMBER 3, 2003
TAPED 9/3 IN NASHVILLE, TENN.

Since this is a pretaped event, its a rare case where the TNA wrestlers can read this "virtual time" report on their own match as it airs on PPV! I'm looking forward to this event because the line-up is strong, I managed to avoid hearing the results ahead of time so it's all new to me, and they've had a week to clean it up through post-production so it should be a smooth event in terms of production values and pacing.

-A video package aired to start the show followed by Mike Tenay introducing the show.

1 -- MAD MIKEY vs. LAZZ

Lazz came out looking like he was three parts Darth Maul, one part Goldust, and one part Rico, and two parts Lodi. Tenay said Mad Mikey is mad about the ridiculous opponent he has to wrestle tonight. Tenay pointed out that Lazz wrestles regularly for the Georgia-based Wildside promotion. Don West said he thinks Lazz's in-ring style isn't just mindgames, it's a lifestyle. Lazz tried to hump Mikey missionary style and Norman Smiley style in the opening minute. Lazz then kissed Mikey on the lips, which caused West to say unlike the MTV Awards kiss, that kiss is going to give him nightmares. Mikey got made and put Lazz away shortly thereafter.

WINNER: Mikey at 1:45.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- All silliness, not much actual ring work.

-Tenay talked about the Super X bracketing featuring Juventud Guerrera vs. Nosawa, Jonny Storm vs. Teddy Hart, Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin, and Michael Shane vs. Kazarian. That first round, plus the second round and finals, will all air tonight, announced Tenay. West then went crazy yelling about how they were taking War Games to the next level.

-Terry Taylor interviewed Dusty Rhodes backstage. Dusty said there have been a lot of cage matches over the years, but none as violent and crazy as tonight's. "This is blood, guts, and battle," he said. "It's going to be Wednesday Bloody Wednesday." He said it will remind him of how many times he's kicked Arn Anderson's ass.

2 -- JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. NOSAWA

Tenay pointed out that Nosawa is the champion of the ICW wrestling group promoted by the Insane Clown Posse.

WINNER: Juventud at 4:32.

STAR RATING: ** -- Nice short highspot match. Nothing memorable, but solid work.

-Taylor interviewed James Mitchell, who's doing some of the best "character-driven" promos in the industry in years. You believe he lives and breaths his character to the point that his demeanor doesn't change much when the camera doesn't change. He talked about taking Raven's self-image away from him. Glenn Gilberti interrupted and asked Mitchell if he understands that they need to work together and get on the same page because he doesn't want his guys getting hurt in the match. "Do I make myself clear," asked Gilberti. "Crystaaaal," said Mitchell. Good segment.

3 -- TEDDY "I'LL DO STEROIDS IF I HAVE TO" HART vs. JONNY STORM

Tenay said Hart is the nephew of Bret and Owen Hart and the first third generation Hart to appear on national TV. Storm nipped up from a dropkick and then leaped onto the second and top ropes to springboard onto Hart at ringside with a solid landing. He followed up with a dive off the top rope, but Hart caught him with a Stunner in mid-air to take over the match. Tenay compared Teddy to a young, pre-WWE Owen Hart. Hart hit a nice top rope Asai moonsault onto Storm and followed up by working the crowd by pounding his chest. The crowd chanted "Holy Sh--." Storm surprised Hart with a cool twisting slam for a two count. Hart came off the top rope with a DDT onto Storm, prompting another "Holy sh--" chant. Hart followed up with a Shooting Star Press for the win.

WINNER: Teddy Hart at 2:51.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- As good as a highspot-oriented three minute spotfest match gets.

-Sonny Siaki got into a verbal spat with teammates Johnny Swinger and Simon Diamond backstage. Shane Douglas entered the picture and screamed and spit about them needing to get their gamefaces on because their opponents will be trying to maim them. Another good backstage segment. Douglas is a caricature these days, but to the point now that it's kind of endearing. Swinger's reaction to Douglas's spitting all over him when he first started talking was one of those subtle things that helped put over the dynamic between the wrestlers.

4 -- JERRY LYNN vs. CHRIS SABIN

Lynn began aggressively Tenay said he wants to prove he can compete with the young lions in the X Division. It's not that Lynn shows his age (other than his taste in fashion and music, but...), so I don't know if announcers should make it seem like he's over the hill or nearly there. Tenay said Sabin is a younger mirror image of Lynn in terms of the offensive style and sizes. Lynn tossed a charging Sabin through the ropes. Sabin yanked Lynn's neck over the top rope then sunset flip back into the ring. Lynn grabbed the top rope, but the ref kicked his hand off the rope. Lynn then gave Sabin a TKO. When the ref upset Lynn, he grabbed the ref around the neck from behind. Cyrus walked out and told Lynn if he hurts the ref, he'll lose his job. Sabin low kicked Lynn from behind and scored a quick three count.

WINNER: Sabin at 3:38.

STAR RATING: * -- Another good short match. These rapid-fire first round matches aren't exactly realistic. It's not as if a match is likely to end quicker than normal just because it's the first round of a tournament, so it's hard to explain why these matches that normally last 10 minutes or longer or going only a few. If they feel the need to rush through the first round matches, they should institute a rule that the match has to end within five or eight minutes or else both men are eliminated. That would explain the great sense of urgency the wrestlers have and explain why they took more chances than normal to try to win, and thus explain why the matches were so rapid-fire and ended so quickly.

-Taylor interviewed Raven backstage, who was joined by Julio Deniro and C.M. Punk. He said if Mitchell and Douglas thought he was dangerous before, he's even more dangerous now.

5 -- FRANKIE "THE FUTURE" KAZARIAN vs. CHRIS SABIN

Good back and forth all-action quickie. Tenay talked about how this match technically didn't have implications on the X Division Title, but if Kazarian won, the championship committee would have to acknowledge it.

WINNER: Kazarian at 3:28.

STAR RATING: * -- The fourth all-too-quick first round match. It just rubs me the wrong way when matches that just happen to be first round matches last one-fourth the normal length if these two would otherwise wrestle. Good action for what it was.

-Taylor interviewed A.J. Styles and Vince Russo. Russo paced in the background, distracting from what Style was saying. After Styles complained about being singled out by being put in the cage match later, Russo poked his chest and told him as long as he's breathing, he'd never let anything bad happen to him even though he won't be in the cage with him. He then wrapped his arm over his shoulder and walked away like a little league dad after giving his son a pep talk for a little league game. He really has to stop doing that, it's so disrespectful to Styles. It's one of those little things Vince McMahon, for all of his faults and blindspots, is great at catching the first time he sees it and makes sure it never happens again.

6 -- JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. TEDDY HART

The unrealistically supershort first round matches also eliminated one of the effective storylines that makes tournaments interesting - and that is when one wrestler (usually the babyface) has a longer first round match than his opponent in a latter round, giving the babyface an extra hurdle to overcome. Lots of rapid fire highspots in the early minutes that had the crowd energized. I just don't understand where Vince McMahon thinks the stuff he's promoting as filler on Raw is more marketable than this type of athleticism. It's just baffling to me. I think the only explanation is he has been brainwashed over the years by the top heavyweight draws at the time not to do it because the top heavyweight draws know that smaller wrestlers who outdazzle the heavyweights would turn into draws, would move up on house show and PPV cards, and take some of their cut of the pay. It's our loss as fans. Hart came back with another graceful springboard moonsault off the top rope onto Juvi at the floor at 6:15. Hart came up favoring his knee, the big turning point in the match. He pulled down his knee pad. He took his time returning to the ring and went for a sunset flip on Juvi, but Juvi stopped it midstream and slammed him to the mat. Hart went for a roll-up, but Juvi escaped and dropkicked him while he was on the mat for a two count. Juvi, the crowd favorite, went for a People's Elbow, but Hart moved. Juvi then gave Hart a Rock Bottom for a near fall at 8:00. Juvi lifted Hart and gave him a powerbomb for a two count. Hart reversed Juvi with a leg scissors into a pinning position for his own two count. Hart nailed Juvi with a spike DDT off the top rope for a near fall. Hart played to the crowd and told them he was going for another top rope move - this time a Shooting Star Press. He was unable to go for the pin, though, as he got up favoring his knee. Juvi nailed Hart with the Juvidriver, but when he went for a top rope move, Hart nipped up and knocked Juvi off balance. He then set up a move off the top rope, but Juvi reversed it into a Juvidriver off the top rope for the win.

WINNER: Juventud Guerrera at 9:58.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- A dazzling spotfest. Void of any longterm selling, but it was done better than usual. It didn't feel like an indy rookie match. Everything went smoothly and they incorporated unorthodox moves well.

-In the Interrogation segment, Mike Tenay and Don West interviewed Kevin Northcutt of the Red Shirted Security. He carried himself well as a badass giving decisive answers. When asked, "Minnesota Wrecking Crew or Rock & Roll Express," Northcutt said, "Minnesota Wrecking Crew, I'll take guys over girls any day." That could be interpreted more than one way.

7 -- CHRIS SABIN vs. FRANKIE KAZARIAN

They worked in rapid fire fashion. This show more than any other TNA show has lived up to the "Total Nonstop Action" moniker. Somebody being raised on Raw and Smackdown only who had never seen another style of wrestling wouldn't even know how to comprehend what this show was presenting. Without commercials, without lumbering heavyweights, without ring entrances being portrayed as more important than the matches, without announcers and McMahons filling the TV time rather than actual athletes, it's just a different world. It's even a different world than Smackdown because there aren't so many commercial breaks and recap segment (that punish loyal viewers for being regular watchers). At 6:30 Sabin went to the top rope, but Kazarian (who resembles an athletic Mongo McMichael) met him at the top rope and suplexed him to the mat with a move I don't remember seeing before. It was more something you'd try off a diving board going into a pool, not while holding someone in your arms while flying onto a wrestling mat. Sabin scored the pin seconds later by rolled through on a Kazarian roll-up attempt. Nice finishing sequence.

WINNER: Sabin at 7:35.

STAR RATING: **3/4

-Taylor interviewed Chris Harris and James Storm backstage. Harris said they are honored to stand next to their partners in the match. Kid Kash walked into the picture with Abyss. Kash apologized to Taylor for letting his emotions getting the best of him. He promised to not let it happen again, saying he is a man of his word. He called Harris & Storm "America's Most Wannabes." He said he carries respect for them at the bottom of his shoe, something his dog left for him this morning. He then gave Taylor an uppercut slap to the chin and ran off. Taylor lunged at him, but Abyss and security intervened. Tenay said Kash and Abyss aren't even on the card, but they found a way to spit on tradition and cause problems.

-Tenay said TNA officials are considering making the Super X tournament an annual tradition. Let's hope TNA lasts long enough to make it a tradition. A lot of that is riding on next week's One Cent PPV attracting a new customer base for future weeks at $9.95.

8 -- JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. CHRIS SABIN

More of the same with these two with mostly crisp, nonstop highspots and changes of momentum. Lots of good nearfalls too. Pretty exhausting pace. Juventud dropped Sabin on his head unprotected at 11:28 with a powerbomb piledriver type move. That would have paralyzed an average person without neck strength to absorb that disturbing looking bump. At 12:00 Sabin went to the top rope, but Juvi met him with a dropkick. Juvi hit the 450 splash at 14:05, but Sabin put his foot on the bottom rope to stop an otherwise sure pin. "If you're not a fan of the X division now, you don't have a pulse," screamed Don West. Sabin then took Juvi out with a Fisherman's Suplex followed by a tight wrap-up for the pin. The ref presented Sabin with the trophy.

WINNER: Sabin at 14:45.

STAR RATING: ****

-A promo aired for the return of Roddy Piper. They showed some brief footage of his Real Sports HBO interview, but it was from Piper's B-roll rather than the HBO clips that aired on TV. West and Tenay said there's no telling what Piper is going to say now that he's PO'd. West then plugged the one cent PPV next week featuring Raven vs. Jeff Jarrett, AMW vs. Triple X in the cage (a match of the year contender), and more, plus details of the Sept. 17 return to live PPVs.

9 -- WEDNESDAY BLOODY WEDNESDAY - War Games style cage match.

Before the match, special ref Erik Watts ordered everyone at ringside to go to the back, including the time keeper and Jeremy Borash and replaced them with Three Live Krew (a creative way to incorporate them into the pretaped show). The first two in the match were Jeff Jarrett and Christopher Daniels. I admit I expected to save himself for last for a number of reasons. It was nice to see him come out first. They fought at ringside at first, then entered the ring at which point the cage door was locked shut and the first three minute countdown began. Dusty Rhodes was at ringside as an enforcer of the locked door. Not only were they inside the tall TNA cage, but it was set up with Clockwork Orange House of Fun weapons everywhere including a yellow "Caution: Wet Floor" stand, a trash can, a chair, chains, tables, kendo sticks, and more. Don Callis walked to ringside at 1:30 and joined Tenay and West on commentary. Callis said he doesn't object to cage matches in principle because he smells buyrate and money. He accused Watts of abusing his authority, though, but forcing the heels into the match and then appointing himself the referee. A.J. Styles was the third entrant, revealing the heel's streak of winning the coin toss was alive for War Games style matches. Ninety seconds later, Chris Harris joined the match to even the sides. Russo then joined Callis, West, and Tenay on commentary for a few seconds. He was wearing Styles's NWA World Hvt. Title belt. Imagine J.J. Dillon wearing Flair's title during the Four Horsemen days. Wouldn't happen. Imagine Bobby Heenan wearing Nick Bockwinkel wearing the AWA World Hvt. Title belt. Wouldn't happen. Too disrespectful and fanboyish, not in a heel heat kind of way, but in a bad-for-image-of-championship kind of way. Those subtle elements are important, and Russo's never caught on to them. With Harris down in the ring, Styles lifted Jarrett in powerbomb position and then Christopher leaped off the top rope driving Jarrett through a table in center ring. Simon Diamond came out fifth. D-Lo Brown came out next, followed by Shane Douglas to give the heels the advantage again. James Stom evened the sides at four-on-one. Tenay pointed out that via process of elimination, Johnny Swinger and Raven would be the final two entrants. Jarrett began using a guitar as a weapon, nailing Daniels across the back off the ropes. It looked like a tornado tore through the ring with all the fallen bodies and strewn weapons. Russo threw a baseball bat into the cage. Swinger came out next. Raven limped to the ring as the final entrant. Russo said, "Aw, sh-- no!" on commentary as Raven headed to the ring. Raven bashed various opponent with a cookie sheet that sounded loud but didn't look all that lethal (although I'm not volunteering to be hit by one). Jarrett ran around giving everyone shots with the garbage can. Jarrett gave Styles a Stroke off the top rope followed by a top rope Frog Splash by D-Lo and top rope legdrop by Harris at the same time leading to the pin.

WINNER: Jarrett & Harris & Storm & D-Lo & Raven at 20:33.

STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- A bit hard to comprehend at times with the crowded ring, but definitely an interesting match for its genre. The two cages for War Games along the roof allows more space for innovative creativity, but the weapons added a dimension to this.

After the finish, the heels from the match joined by Legend cleared the cage and attacked Dusty Rhodes at ringside. Three Live Krew and Erik Watts made the save. Douglas, meanwhile, beat up Raven inside the cage as Mitchell, Slash, and Sin held the cage door closed.

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