Torch Flashbacks
KELLER'S TNA PPV REPORT 5 YRS. AGO (9-24-03): Sitdown interview with Roddy Piper, Terry Taylor vs. Kid Kash, Jeff Jarrett vs. Christopher Daniels,
Sep 25, 2008 - 11:32:45 AM |
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
NWA-TNA PPV
SEPTEMBER 24, 2003
LIVE FROM NASHVILLE, TENN.
-Erik Watts argued with Don Callis about favoring Vince Russo over a legend such as Roddy Piper. Don Callis said Erik Watts is in charge of what goes on in the ring, he's in charge of everything else. That's the first I've heard of that differentiation. It's nice they've finally decided to clarify that, although it doesn't really jell with Callis's suspension of Jerry Lynn for his in-ring actions in the past.
-Jeremy Borash introduced a live performance of 3 Live Krew. They came out and did a rap routine with a live band on stage. Konnan wore a Washington Bullets retro jersey. Glenn Gilberti, Simon Diamond, and David Young, apparently in an attempt to turn babyface, attacked 3 Live Krew, interrupting their performance. They threw them off the stage and then entered the ring.
-Diamond mocked Konnan's mic work. Diamond is really good on the mic imitating others. Gilberti said their scheduled opponents, 3LK, are obviously in no condition to wrestle. Then Raven, with his head covered in stubble, C.M. Punk, and Julio Deniro attacked Gilberti, Diamond, and Young. No explanation was given for the absence of Johnny Swinger yet. Raven said every time he looks in the mirror, he is disgusted. He said most matches, even I Quit grudge matches, are embarrassing, but they don't change "your essential self." He said: "You hurt me, and I didn't think I could be hurt." He said he's been diagnosed my medical professionals as paranoid schizophrenic, clinically depressed, manic depressive, and all points in between. "You talk to anybody in the locker room and I'm not real popular because I'm not real stable and I'm about to lose it in a real dangerous way," he said. They zoomed in on his face as he told Jim Mitchell, Shane Douglas, and Vampiro, "may god have mercy on your soul."
-Mike Tenay and Don West formally introduced the show. West talked about blood oozing out of Raven's scalp last week. Kid Kash interrupted as Tenay was plugging his sitdown Piper interviewed. Kash said he will not be responsible for what happens to Terry Taylor later.
-A vignette aired on the X Division contenders match.
-Scott Hudson interviewed Jerry Lynn who said he's glad Watts respects wrestling unlike Callis, "who doesn't even think wrestling is a word." Lynn said some people "in the sheets and on the internet" are suggesting he may not have what it takes to keep up with the young guys. Actually, the only people I've heard draw attention to that possibility are the TNA announcers. He then ended by turning his back to the camera, showing off his concert t-shirt slogan on the back that said, "Destroy the Competition," and then he said in a grovely heavy metal voice: "Destroy the Competition." I bet there was some eye-rolling backstage after that utterance by Lynn.
1 -- JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. JERRY LYNN vs. NOSAWA vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. FRANKIE KAZARIAN
Kazarian spent time during ring introductions flirting with the woman dancing in cages on the stage. West wondered if he was focused enough to the match to do well. They are definitely creating a persona for Kazarian now. Fans chanted "ICP" at Nosawa, recognizing his background with the Insane Clown Posse. Shortly thereafter he was eliminated at 3:45 with a Juvidriver. You know in these five-person matches that whoever gets in all "their spots" in the first couple minutes is going to be the first eliminated because nobody drives eight hours or is flown in to just tag in and get pinned without showing off their spots. Sabin put Kazarian away with the Cradle Shock finisher at 8:30. Lynn and Juvi hit a nice series of near falls with Lynn coming out on top, eliminating Juvi at 11:40 with a move Tenay didn't even attempt to give a name to. That left Lynn vs. Sabin as the final two. Tenay pointed out Lynn is the most experienced with 15 years and Sabin the last with two years. They showed Michael Shane stepping out to watch the match from the stage with his X Division belt over his shoulder. Lynn hit a superplex on Sabin at 13:15. Sabin came back with a boot to Lynn's face. Sabin followed up with a suplex for a near fall. Lynn blocked Sabin's attempt at a piledriver,l then shoved Sabin into the ref. Shane entered the ring and went to hit Lynn, but Lynn ducked and the belt KO'd Sabin. Lynn then kicked Shane out of the ring. He followed up with his cradle piledriver and scored the pin.
WINNER: Lynn at 15:08 to become no. 1 X Division contender.
STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Decent spotfest at first and a good final two minutes once it was Lynn vs. Sabin. I'm not a fan of the five-person matches because there's just no way for there to be consequences to the big spots that the wrestlers do because there's always a fresh person in the ring, and the pins coming so much quicker than usual also undercuts the internal logic of matches.
-Mad Mikey, dressed up like Spongebob Squarepants, along with Shark Boy, began talking. Ekmo attacked them.
-The sitdown interview with Roddy Piper aired. He broke the news to Piper that the choice was made to "go with Vince Russo over Roddy Piper." I don't know what "go with" means and I'm still not sure why anyone even agreed with Russo's statement that there was only room for one of them to begin with. What if Lynn says that about he and Sabin? Does that mean Sabin will be sent home? Piper said the meeting where the decision was made wasn't his favorite meetings. Piper said TNA is a rocket ship ready to take off and his ego makes him want to be a big part of it. He said he has been a main eventer everywhere he's gone and there is some tremendous talent. Thankfully they spliced up the interview to try to make everything make some sense and cut out his rambling. The whole thing didn't last long and even with splicing, really didn't accomplish much of anything other than him saying he's been fired yet again.
-In the ring live, Don Callis said he chose Russo and kicked Piper out and banned him from the Asylum for life. He said even though the decision may not be popular, he didn't do it because it's what he wants, he did it because it's what all of you want. Isn't that a total contradiction. While we're at it, I think Callis really isn't a good talker, but he sure can cut a hell of a promo. He said when it comes to tough decisions, once you make one, it makes future similar decisions a lot easier to make. He started talking about Jeff Jarrett forgetting the boundaries of his job. He said Jarrett tried to hurt him last week, so he made his decision about his wrestling career that much easier. He said he could sum up his thoughts in four words: "Jeff Jarrett! You're..." Then Erik Watts interrupted by coming out to his music, and for some reason Callis felt that prohibited him from finishing his sentence. Tenay and West embarrassed themselves by asking what he was going to say. Uh, duh. He was going to say, "Jeff Jarrett, You're Cute!" Erik Watts called Don Callis "Don Call-ass!" Did TNA hire professional comedy writers away from Everybody Loves Raymond. Man, what a great play on words. Worth the price of admission alone. Watts announced Jarrett would fight Christopher Daniels later. He also announced Dusty Rhodes vs. A.J. Styles in a bunkhouse brawl tonight. He also announced Gilbert & Young & Diamond vs. 3 Live Krew in a six-man tag. They still haven't said anything about Johnny Swinger's status. Kind of strange since he and Diamond have been as inseparable in TNA so far as Dennis Condrey and Bobby Eaton. Watts announced it would be a six-man dog collar match. He concluded it was time for the red shirted security to take on the black shirted security.
2 -- CHRIS VAUGHN & RICK SANTEL (black shirts) vs. RYAN WILSON & KEVIN NORTHCUTT (red shirts)
Tenay said Vaughn and Santel were aspiring wrestlers doing everything from setting up to the ring to working indy shows to working security to earn their spots. He and West said they were outmatches both in terms of size and experience, though. Santel made a very geeky attempt on the ring apron to get the crowd into the match, slapping the top turnbuckle in some white boy beat that no metronome on this planet would recognize. He actually looked like he was a kid in grade school who had to pee. He eventually got a hot tag, but he was soon flattened by the much larger red shirted opponents. Watts entered the ring and interfered with a lame looking forearm to the back of Northcut. He followed with a chokeslam, then rolled out of the ring. Santel then covered Northcut for the "upset win."
WINNERS: Vaughn & Santel at 6:33.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Ugly as a bowling shoe.
-Hudson interviewed Taylor. He asked him what he had to prove since he's accomplished everything already (other than winning a World Title or main eventing since 1988, but that wasn't his fault). Taylor said he was a veteran, but he's now just a retired 48 year old father of two. He said he would teach Kash a lesson. He concluded that in all his years, he learned you don't go into a gun fight with a knife. I've also heard you should enter a nuclear war with a SCUD missile.
3 -- TERRY TAYLOR (w/America's Most Wanted) vs. KID KASH (w/Abyss)
Tenay said Taylor's first match was in 1979, nearly a century ago. When Taylor walked out, America's Most Wanted followed closely behind. West and Tenay said now they know what he meant when he said not to enter a gun fight with a knife. "Terry Taylor has back-up tonight," said Tenay. West agreed it was a good way to offset Abyss. Kash gave Taylor an armdrag and then did jumping backs to celebrate. Taylor walked around gingerly, more reminiscent of Ox Baker than his old self. His knees haven't held up as a well as, say, Ric Flair's, whose over years older than he is. Abyss gave AMW a shot to the back at ringside. Taylor, meanwhile, gave Kash an atomic drop in the ring. Abyss then entered the ring and charged at Taylor. Taylor moved, but Abyss gave Taylor a Blackhole. The ref didn't see the interference. James Storm beat up Abyss for his interference while Chris Harris nailed Kash in the ring. Taylor then scored the pin.
WINNER: Taylor at 6:12.
STAR RATING: 1/4*
-Backstage Vince Russo had his weekly rage filled rant backstage in Erik Watts's face. Watts said, "You wanna play games? Games on." Russo didn't swear this week, so it must not have been "real." You'd think Russo wants to be in the Sopranos and is auditioning for a side role each week with his angry rants.
4 -- JEFF JARRETT vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (w/three Minions)
Tenay and West wondered what Callis was going to say about Jarrett. They guessed either "You're suspended" or "You're gone." I must have missed the memo that said a decision can only be announced in the ring without anyone interrupting. I mean, why doesn't Callis just say whatever he was going to say after Watts was done talking? Within the first minute they were brawling at ringside. Back in the ring, Daniels dominated early. At 4:25 Daniels hit a moonsault on Jarrett for a two count. Daniels rolled through on a crossbody by Jarrett and scored a near fall at 6:20. Jarrett blocked an enzuigiri by Daniels. Daniels small packaged Jarrett, but Jarrett reversed it for a near fall. When Daniels's Minions tried to interfere, Jarrett kicked one of them into the top rope, knocking Daniels off balance. Jarrett then pinned Daniels. After the match, Daniels whipped one of his his Minions with a belt over and over again across his back as he cried.
WINNER: Jarrett at 7:21.
STAR RATING: **
-Hudson interviewed Dusty backstage doing his Jesse Jackson cadence with "respect" and "pay window" thrown in for good measure. Dusty said he's not just a legend, he's a level higher. He's an icon, and he said there are just a handful of them. Dusty said he has several fat women outside in a pick-up truck waiting for him. Hudson gave an "aww, that good ol' Dusty" smile afterward.
5 -- SIMON DIAMOND & DAVID YOUNG & GLENN GILBERTI vs. 3 LIVE KREW (Konnan & B.G. James & Ron Killings) -- NWA Tag Team Title match.
Tenay finally acknowledged the medical situation with Swinger, saying Simon recruited David Young to fill in. 3LK attacked the heels to start the match. West acknowledged that some people might think Gilberti, Diamond, and Young were doing the world a favor by attacking 3LK during their show-opening performance. Tenay, not one to ever rock the boat, but certainly one to stir sh-- in his own special way, joked with West that he'll be sure to tell 3LK what he said. West said he specifically said, "Some people." After typical action with a number of tags for everyone, things got chaotic at 9:00 with six-way action. Gilberti hit James with a chair and Young followed up with a spinebuster and pin.
WINNERS: Gilberti & Diamond & Young at 10:02 to retain the NWA Tag Titles.
STAR RATING: *1/2
-They cut immediately outside where A.J. Styles was attacking Dusty in his pick-up truck. Dusty blocked Styles's baseball bat shot and a minute later threw him into a wooden fence. Hudson did the play-by-play with a wireless mic out back. Good thing he's here instead of Goldy Locks. They fought into the arena and into the ring. Styles yanked down his pants and tried to get Dusty to kiss hiss ass. Dusty instead yanked down Styles's underwear and spanked his bare ass. Then Jarrett brought Trinity into the ring and spanked her ass which other than a barely visible thong was also naked.
-Tenay said Dusty just humiliated Styles, Russo, and Trinity. He said the referee threw the bunkhouse match out. No decision. West plugged next week's line-up: Ekmo & Sonny Siaki vs. Mad Mikey & Shark Boy, Michael Shane vs. Jerry Lynn for the X Division Title, Kid Kash & Abyss vs. America's Most Wanted, and another part of the Roddy Piper interview. Styles interrupted and said Dusty may like spanky asses of guys, but he won't stand for it. He told him he'll wrestle him next week in an NWA Title match. Russo interrupted and told Styles not to give Dusty the title shot he wants, but instead, it should be Styles & Russo vs. Dusty & Jarrett. Styles enthusiastically agreed.
-Highlights aired of last week's Douglas vs. Raven hair vs. hair match.
-Hudson interviewed James Mitchell, who asked Raven how it felt to be the first man in the history of professional wrestling to be scalped on live TV.
6 -- SHANE DOUGLAS & SLASH & SIN vs. RAVEN & JULIO DENIRO & C.M. PUNK -- Dog Collar Chain match.
Douglas attached himself to Douglas, Slash was attached to Punk, and Deniro to Sin. By 5:00 all six were bleeding. At 7:00, all three faces mounted all three heels in various corners and punched them with chain-wrapped fists. At 7:44 Deniro pinned Sin while the camera was showing Raven and Douglas at ringside. Vampiro then attacked Raven. He then led the heels in beating up the faces after the match. The show closed with all three faces being hung by chains from the rafters. Pretty gruesome looking finishing scene.
WINNERS: Raven & Deniro & Punk when Deniro pinned Sin at 7:44.
STAR RATING: *1/4
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