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CALDWELL'S TAKE
CORNER CUBE TUESDAY: Caldwell's Christmas '07 list to WWE, TNA, and ROH Dec 25, 2007 - 11:10:28 AM
Updated throughout the day from the corner cubicle, Torch columnist James Caldwell's weekday blog focuses on hot topic current events and other items of interest from around wrestling.
From under the Christmas tree: Tuesday, December 25
11:10 a.m. I certainly hope everyone enjoys a wonderful time with the family today celebrating Christmas. After receiving plenty of goodies under the tree this year, I'd like to hand out some presents of my own to the wrestling world. We're still looking for yours in the Question of the Week. So, in between naps and that second helping of turkey, send in your list! Now for mine.
To: Vince McMahon. Peace in his heart with more money to his name than Enron could ever make up.
To: Vince McMahon II. The discernment to develop the mid-card instead of booking another McMahon-Helmsley saga. OK, OK, I'll save the mid-card speech.
To: Dixie Carter. An honest right-hand man or woman to tell her what she needs to hear and not what she wants to hear.
To: Shane McMahon. A private jet for all those international scouting trips to Antarctica he'll soon to be making.
To: Triple H. What do you give the man who has everything in his given profession? I know. A pair of scissors.
To: Hornswoggle. That much-awaited family portrait. And a new green derby.
To: Hulk Hogan. Six months away from any cameras to regain control of his family. And a copy of Randy Savage's rap CD.
To: WWE. A good history teacher.
To: TNA. Jerry Jarrett's book. And figuring out who's feuding against whom. And defining babyfaces and heels. And drawing well at house shows. And the emergence of a captain to right the ship. And a nice bottle of scotch. Make it a Hennigan's.
To: ROH. A national TV deal. And the return of Kobashi.
To: Dutch Mantell, Vince Russo, and Jeff Jarrett. A time machine. So they can finally say good-bye to 1999.
To: Dr. Black, Wellness Policy administrator. A breakthrough to test for HGH. And a spine.
To: Kevin Nash. An electronic monitoring device for Scott Hall.
To: Kurt Angle. The legit toughness he lost this year.
To: Karen Angle. Um... based on her appearance at the Christmas Impact, I think she's OK.
To: Samoa Joe. A $50 gift card to Macy's.
To: Jeff Hardy. One WWE Title run. And a box of markers.
To: Matt Hardy. One U.S. Title run. And a continuous year of health.
To: Ric Flair. Confidence. And one last great wrestling match at WrestleMania 24.
To: Batista. A bottle of Pepto-Bismol for his sick stomach.
To: James Mitchell. Shh... it's a secret! Tune in next week to find out!
To: Abyss. The understanding that a whole lot of red week-after-week doesn't mean any green.
To: Judas Mesias. A crowd pop.
To: Mick Foley. A meaningful pop. And one more serious program in WWE.
To: Jay Lethal. Possession of the X Division Title. And a year's supply of hugs from Liz...er...Val.
To: Melina. A one-way pass out of the doghouse. And a reunion with John Morrison.
To: Cody Rhodes and Bob Holly. An explanation of their relationship. And Dusty Rhodes chaperoning their um... training sessions.
To: Chuck Palumbo. Anger management classes.
To: Delirious. A new, edgier character. And a copy of English for Dummies.
To: Colt Cabana. A postcard so we can all hear what you're up to. Seriously, where did you go?
To: Christopher Daniels. A tissue and a hug. Hey, no TNA storyline ever lasts more than a month.
From the Cube: Monday, December 24
2:45 p.m. The Christmas lists coming in are great so far. Keep 'em coming! I'll be posting a bunch tonight, but one of the best items I've read so far comes from Mr. Boom Boom of the "Whole Effin Show". Big Daddy V - a shirt. Simple, classy, and effective. I might have taken it a step further with a bro, but a shirt will suffice. Maybe get Matt Striker a $15 gift certificate to Supercuts or SportsClips while you're at it.
Tribute to the Troops is tonight. It's getting good buzz on the Internet from mainstream newspapers and news sites. With the Hollywood writers still on strike, WWE benefits from having some original, classy, and touching programming to offer tonight. They really know how to get those goosebumps with the video packages on the wrestlers interacting with the troops. As soon as L.T. picks up 20 yards to secure a fantasy football championship for yours truly, I'll be in a great mood to cover the show. So, check back tonight for our live coverage.
It's funny (well, maybe not) how a trip to a war zone has now become an annual Christmas tradition. As long as the U.S. is still in Iraq, the show is bound to go right up there with the 500th watching of the Griswolds in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation as an annual tradition in the Caldwell household.
Not to turn this into a political entry, but if there's a new president of a certain political affiliation in the White House in '08 with intent on pulling the troops out, WWE might have to create a war to keep the annual tradition going. Maybe that's why WWE's global expansion to take over the world (um...of wrestling) is being set in motion in '07.
***
12:30 p.m. Keep sending in those Christmas lists for the QOTW. We've got some good ones right now. We seem to be running out of personality upgrades for Randy Orton, though, as that seems to be a common request.
I watched Smackdown last night after passing over it on Friday night in favor of some WWE 24/7 programming. Whatever you do, don't watch the classic WCW '86 footage on a high-def TV. The blade marks and pasty, out-of-shape bodies aren't exactly HD-friendly. Neither is David Crocket's commentary or Tony Schiavone's moustache, but that's another story.
As for Smackdown, it was an OK show. About what you would expect. Edge and Vickie are controlling Smackdown for the time being, screwing the fans out of Batista's title reign, and the Major Brothers are still drab. You can dress 'em up in a box and a bow, but they're still the Majors.
I thought they wasted Batista's blood at the end of the show, though. If you're going to juice, the camera needs to zoom in, focus, and really get the intensity of the moment across. Otherwise, it's not worth spilling any blood.
I had pretty high expectations for Jamie Noble's date with Michelle, and the segment fell short. I laughed at some of the lines, but the writing on the "oh, it's an Italian restaurant" instead of a French restaurant was pretty weak. It read like a bad joke out of the old Freedom Fries era from a few years ago. There must have been just a little too much patriotism left over from the Iraq trip when they were putting together this show.
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