CALDWELL'S TAKE CALDWELL'S SMACKDOWN 3/27 REVIEW: Ongoing thoughts on Smackdown before WrestleMania Mar 29, 2008 - 4:39:08 PM

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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

Check back later this weekend for the C&R audio extravaganza in the Torch VIP section previewing WrestleMania, reviewing the live Impact, and reviewing this show.

Show started with Kane. They're doing a big over-the-top rope challenge. Chavo is ringside. Coach is still annoying, and I realize I haven't missed Smackdown the last three weeks. Khali came out, then Palumbo and Henry.

(1) BATTLE ROYALE. Henry won and everyone cheered when he eliminated Khali. I'm not reading into Henry getting a positive reaction, as it was a standard crowd reaction to the sheer spectacle of a giant being eliminated. Just three minutes of basic monster mash stuff that the crowd was into.

Backstage: Teddy Long was about to announce who's eliminated from the diva contest, but a drum roll interrupted. Eve, Cherry, Michelle McCool, and Teddy looked around trying to find out where it was coming from. How cute. Teddy then announced that Eve is gone. On cue, Victoria and Maryse interrupted to make fun of Eve. Oh Maryse. I believe the Song of Songs was written with her in mind. Teddy then booked a wet and wild water fight. They didn't care for it initially. Well, after thinking about increasing their chances for Playboy next year, they all wanted it ... except for Cherry.

(2) C.M. PUNK vs. JOHN MORRISON -- MITB preview. Hot action in the second-half of the match to convey the message that all of the MITB participants badly want the briefcase with the title shot. Punk nailed the GTS in 11:00 to win the match. Cole with solid commentary on the wrestler putting their bodies on the line in MITB to get that briefcase. This was an excellent TV match to hype Mania. (**3/4)

Cole and Coach hyped Mayweather vs. Show, then they aired the video package on various boxing people talking about the match-up. ... After a break, they aired a video on the press conference from New York City earlier this week. Odd close-up shots of the wrestlers at the podium. It looks like they're standing in front of a green screen of the Mania logo.

(3) THE MIZ & CADE & MURDOCH vs. JESSE & FESTUS & KOFI KINGSTON. Cade and Murdoch were spooked by Festus's metamorphosis. The heels isolated el hijo del Gordy, and Cole filled time discussing Miz & Morrison's dirt sheet making fun of Coach in a past edition. The one on C.M. Punk a few weeks ago still takes the cake. Jesse eventually made the hot tag to Kofi, who did the boom-boom leg drop that fans are catching onto. The match broke down and Kofi nailed Miz with a roundhouse kick for the win. Nice. Solid match for seven minutes. Kofi and Jesse then got laughs doing the rising clap while Festus looked on...well, sorta. (*3/4)

Cole and Coach introduced the Gordon Solie Hall of Fame induction that aired on ECW.

(4) BATISTA vs. SNITSKY. Regal sent Snitsky over to Smackdown for him to challenge Batista before Mania, but Batista finished him off in a minute with a spinebuster and Batistabomb. That was quick. Afterward, Batista grabbed a chair and gave Snitsky a follow-up Bomb on the chair to send a message to Umaga.

(5) WET AND WILD MATCH. Eve is the special referee. Victoria came out in scuba gear because she's the weird chick these days. Maryse came out and this show gets an automatic thumbs up. Michelle and Cherry came out to face them, with Cherry playing the shy girl. The match started and Maryse went for the Candice Michelle of enjoying having water dumped on her. After a few minutes of basic diva gimmick match action, Michelle with a double underhook implant buster on Victoria for the pin and the win. Hurry, order your WWE Kids magazine now!

(6) IC champ CHRIS JERICHO vs. U.S. champ MVP -- MITB preview. After eight minutes of action, MVP tried to utilize the U.S. Title belt as a weapon, but MVP was DQ'ed and Jericho smashed MVP with the belt. Jericho then grabbed a ladder from under the ring and smashed MVP in the face. Jericho smiled and walked away with the upperhand. Fine action. Nothing memorable, but it effectively built to Mania. (**)

Final segment: Edge came out with Hawkins and Ryder. They're all wearing formal suits. Vickie and Teddy were in the ring for a funeral to celebrate the end of Undertaker's streak. Creative way to build up the Mania match with The Streak on the line. Edge listed the names of wrestlers who Taker has beaten at Mania. Crowd was quiet during his promo. Vickie then started talking and the fans booed at the very sound of her voice.

She introduced a Rated R movie trailer of Edge vs. Taker at Mania. The movie trailer guy did the voice-over to give the big hype. It was spun to present Taker as the bad guy, with Edge trying to defend the honor of his fallen woman. Edge is the "lone beacon of hope" and will become... a legend. So great. Edge played it off like he was so shocked and surprised and honored. Teddy's facial expressions are priceless.

Edge and Vickie then starting making out, but the gong hit and Taker emerged from the casket in the ring. Edge didn't see him, so Taker smashed him when Edge turned around. Taker chokeslammed Edge into the casket, then Vickie screamed in horror and bailed from the ring. Hawkins and Ryder took Tombstones, then Edge bailed. Taker and Edge had a stare down to close the show.

Overall: Basic, run-of-the-mill Smackdown to hype WrestleMania. I didn't get a sense from this show that WrestleMania is a huge deal like I did on Raw. They aired the same video packages from Raw and ECW, and didn't add a signature touch to this show - other than the final segment - to establish Smackdown's significance on the biggest show of the year.

I still replay in my head what Wade Keller wrote for his review of a Smackdown before Mania two or three years ago that one of the announcers should have walked into the crowd and taken five or ten minutes to let the fans in the arena explain why they're pumped for Mania. Something to give Smackdown a personal touch when the brand has clearly been positioned as taking a backseat to everything that's been happening on Raw.

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