Email This Article - Contact Us - VIP Sign-Up - Back to Home Page

---

FACEBOOK TWITTER RSS APP PODCAST

---

ELIMINATE ADS AT PWTORCH.COM - GO VIP - CLICK FOR DETAILS

By Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our monthly TNA pay-per-view preview column!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Vince "0.9" Russo. Projections are not predictions. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive a supply of Sunny Delight. Sunny D comes in seven delicious flavors and contains a full day's supply of Vitamin C. Nothing delights you like Sunny Delight. The object for the players is to get three stars in a row, either across, up-and-down or diagonally. It is up to the player to determine whether a star is giving a correct answer or making one up; that's how they get the square. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had booking control over Total Nonstop Action, except for the part where I let the people who wrote the Amp Energy Drink musical commercial that aired Thursday night write the rest of the show.

Congratulations to TNA for not revealing the final three first round matches for the Deuces Wild tag team tournament, or even the teams involved, making it darn near impossible to figure out what matches are actually taking place on the program. By the way, how low do the ratings for ECW on SciFi have to drop for TNA Impact to beat them again? Inquiring minds want to know.

Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky vs. Rhaka Khan vs. Roxxi vs. Salinas vs. Christy Hemme vs. Traci Brooks vs. Jacqueline (TNA Knockout Makeover Match): TNA has access to the SHIMMER crew, the finest lady wrestlers in all North America, so a "makeover" match sounds about right. Projection? Roxxi Laveaux wins the match, to set up another chance for her to wrestle Awesome Kong. O.D.B. gets her head shaved. It's not like it would hurt her gimmick much at all.

"Black Machismo" Jay Lethal vs. Curry Man vs. Kaz vs. Alex Shelley vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Shark Boy vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed (Terrordome Cage Match): Nothing like having a bunch of X Division guys racing to escape from a hole in the ceiling. Projection? Who deserves this most? Well, in TNA storylines, Kaz is the right man for the job. He finally gets a big win without having to worry about Super Eric screwing it up.

TNA Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament (TNA World Tag Team Titles): This is the one where we first we have top guess the teams and the pairings, and then we can guess the winners. Let's do it. Projections?

Match 1: Team 3-D defeats Sting & James Storn, who can't get along.
Match 2: A.J. Styles & Super Eric defeat B.G. James & Awesome Kong when Eric pins James with a super Death Valley Driver.
Match 3: Booker T & Robert Roode defeat LAX when Booker pins Homicide.
Match 4: Christian Cage & Rhino defeat Matt Morgan & Kip James when Christian pins James.

Semifinal #1: A.J. Styles & Super Eric defeat Team 3-D when Styles pins D-Von.
Semifinal #2: Booker T & Robert Roode defeat Christian Cage and Rhino when Roode pins Rhino using the tights for leverage.

Finals: A.J. Styles & Super Eric win the tag team belts when Booker finally snaps and leaves Roode for dead.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner (TNA Heavyweight Title): Remember the fantastic buildup for tlast month's main event. This has been the opposite of that. For the past two weeks, TNA has thrown various combinations of Joe, Angle and Steiner out there on Impact for the main events, and audience members have fled Spike TV. Projection? Angle struggles with the outside interference from Rick Steiner and Rhaka Khan. Joe puts Steiner out with the Kokina Clutch to keep his title.

Aftermath: Next month is TNA Slammiversary in suburban Memphis, where TNA will celebrate its sixth anniversary with a King of the Mountain match to determine a new Number One contender featuring Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner vs. Booker T vs. Rhino vs. Christian Cage, while Samoa Joe defends the belt against the returning Travis Tomko.

***
Pat McNeill of Fairfax, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He can't believe he roots for a baseball team where Wil Nieves might be the best player. Yes, they are. His feature-length "McNeill Factor" columns appear in the Torch Newsletter.



Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.

For more BREAKING NEWS on WWE, TNA...
VISIT OUR AFFILIATE - PROWRESTLING.NET

For UFC & MMA NEWS & BLOGS:
VISIT OUR SISTER SITE - MMATORCH.COM

Upgrade to PWTorch VIP:
DETAILS & SIGN-UP INFO (rates now as low as $2.99/month)

More Recent MCNEILL'S TAKE Articles

Rise Up: McNEILL Previews WWE Elimination Chamber 2010!

To Wait For You Is All I Can Do: McNEILL previews TNA Against All Odds 2010!

There Can Be Only One: McNEILL Previews the 2010 WWE Royal Rumble!

Calling All Stations: McNEILL previews TNA Genesis 2010!

It's On, Brother: McNEILL previews TNA Final Resolution 2009!

Tables And Ladders And Chairs, Oh My!: McNEILL Previews WWE's TLC pay-per-view!

Get Thru This: McNEILL Previews WWE Survivor Series 2009!

The Night They Drove Ol' Dixie Down: McNEILL previews TNA Turning Point 2009!

McNEILL BLOG: The Big Questions About Hulk Hogan in TNA

Fight For Your Right to Bragging: McNEILL Previews WWE Bragging Rights!

Glory, Glory, Hallelujah! McNEILL Previews TNA Bound for Glory 2009

What The Hell? McNEILL Previews WWE Hell In A Cell!

The Boss Is Back: McNEILL previews TNA No Surrender 2009!

9/13 Real Deal with Pat McNeill Audio: WWE & TNA Preview, Pat's Hall of Fame, Hogan DVD & More! (36 min.)

Unforgiven By Any Other Name: McNEILL Previews WWE Breaking Point!

The Continuing WWE Main Event Crisis: McNEILL Previews WWE SummerSlam 2009!

McNEILL previews TNA Hard Justice 2009, presented by Chico's Bail Bonds.

Straight Edge And Loving It: McNEILL Previews WWE Night of Champions 2009!

Lashley, Save Us!: McNEILL previews TNA Victory Road 2009!

The Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Buyrates: McNEILL Previews WWE Bash 2009!

(c) 1999-2010 TDH Communications Inc. - All rights reserved.