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MITCHELL'S TAKE
VIP - MOJO MITCHELL'S RAW 10/29: Mojo Mitchell's Raw Stream of Small Balls, Bad Costumes, and We're Still Waiting Oct 29, 2007 - 10:50:00 PM
We start with the Halloween Diva Battle Royal. It's really stupid. I invite you to read the other Raw recaps on the site for a blow-by-blow description. Double Kelly won.
Beth Phoenix arrives. She beats up DK.
Shawn Michaels limps to the ring.
HBK is back in the saddle again. He thanks everyone for voting for him last night. He's got good news and bad news. The good new is he knocked Randy Orton out again with Sweet Chin Music. Bad news is Orton got DQ'd, so he's not the champ.
He confesses he has small balls, so that means Orton had to be aiming for them to hit them. Because Orton lost, HBK gets a rematch. He wants it now.
Ugh. Mr. McMahon's one-week sabbatical is over. He starts talking and Michaels looks tired.
Then he looks uncomfortable when McMahon quotes the Bible to him. He grits his teeth and yells his lines about going out on his terms and wanting revenge on Orton and growl...
McMahon gives him the title shot at Survivor Series. "Now, what are you going to do with it?"
Michaels superkicks McMahon, except he pulls the kick a good foot instead of the usual six inches. He points at a shaken McMahon.
By the way, McMahon is bursting out of this ugly mustard yellow sports jacket he would have worn 20 years ago when he was trying to emulate the Monday Night Football crew.
"Hardcore" Holly comes out. He nods sadly at the Titantron. Cody Rhodes, his "partner," comes to the ring. Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Hass, festooned in sissy-blue pajamas (they must have come straight from the hotel room) are their opponents. Rhodes throws a nice standing dropkick, just like his "mentor." The fans are so impressed they chant "Y2J!" Rhodes pins Haas and looks longingly at his "partner" for approval, but "Hardcore" plays hard-to-get and walks away.
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler hype the cool footage from last week where Candice Michelle broke her collarbone in two places. Beth Phoenix tells Todd Grisham she hurt Candice Michelle to make a statement. The crowd is so excited they chant "Y2J."
Mickie James thanks Trevor Murdoch for saving her from Lance Cade's clothesline last week. She starts to come in to him, but a jealous Cade interrupts. He wants Murdoch focused for that match later.
Actually, I'm a little unfair. Both guys do a nice, low-key job of playing their parts here.
Raw GM William Regal wants Mr. McMahon to call off the Umaga & Randy Orton vs. Triple H handicap match because they can't afford any more injuries to the roster. McMahon says no, it's personal with Triple H.
He tells Regal to send Hornswoggle in. Regal does that creepy thing where he treats HS like a child because he's small.
He tells him his philosophy of what it takes to be a man:
"Every grown man should be knocked on his ass by Bret Hart once in his life."
A fired up Hornswoggle heads to the ring to face Jonathan Coachman.
The longer viral video airs. Anytime now, Jericho.
Hornswoggle faces Coach. Lillian Garcia intones, "and the special guest referee is..."
Big Fat Mick Foley.
I remember when Foley used to do stuff like this in Philadelphia to get the big heel heat. Coach and HS do the old-time midget stuff, then Coach accidentally pops BF Foley, then cracks him one on purpose.
Coach gets a chair, but Foley grabs the chair and cracks him back. A Big Fat Socko and a Little Socko to the nuts and everybody leaves with smiles on their faces.
Todd Grisham interviews the toughest man in the history of the world, Triple H, about his handicap match with Umaga and Randy Orton. The TMITHOTW says he has an ace up his sleeve and he is The Game.
It's time one of the guys pulled out a nine-millimeter. Nahh, it'd just bounce off his overly muscled-chest or his ego-swollen head......
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