MITCHELL'S TAKE MOJO MITCHELL'S 11/19 WWE Raw Stream of Would You Hurry Up And Save Us Already? Nov 21, 2007 - 12:14:17 PM

CLICK FOR BIO

Email This Article - Contact Us - VIP Sign-Up - Back to Home Page

|

This is normally a VIP-exclusive feature, but presented here as a very special Thanksgiving treat for loyal PWTorch.com readers courtesy of your friend and Torch senior columnist Bruce Mitchell...

Note: I watched most this show Monday night while I was writing my newsletter column, but let's all just pretend I'm reacting to this as I see it for the first time as I rewatch it as I write this Mojo. I am curious if I'll have the same reaction to the big reveal at the end of the show as I did last night, though.

We start with a guy running down the street holding a Torch. Uh, oh, that won't work. I know from experience, nothing good comes from a Torch.

Shawn Michaels is in the ring. "Last night, the better man won." What a sport. He invites Randy Orton out so he can shake his hand.

Orton is up on the Titantron. He's not buying it. He's got a big ol' bruise on his head. Very realistic - nice touch. He's not going there to get kicked in the head yet again.

Michaels admits that's what he would have done. "If it makes you feel any better, champ, I wasn't going to do it until I challenged you for the WWE championship." Michael's delivery is tongue-in-cheek funny, but there is a sense of yeah, we've done this a million times, haven't we?

Orton says he's not coming, he's the better man, and he beat Michaels and Triple H, and took out John Cena.

He explains that the runner is coming to the show to symbolize the passing of the Torch to him and that Michaels's day is over. This won't end well for Orton. Usually when the Torch arrives, it's somewhat of a disappointment.

Mr. Kennedy comes to the ring and stares at HBK, who punches him.

"You want an opportunity, you got one by jumping on the Showstopper."

"Don't flatter yourself. What are you best known for? Losing an epic ladder match. Losing to John Cena at WrestleMania, (uh, oh, don't say it)... Losing your smile? (What was Kennedy back then -twelve years old?)... Let's face it, Shawn, you're a loser."

See, this is why don't do jobs.

Kennedy can both learn from, and be elevated by, working with Shawn Michaels.

Hey, where's losing to Hulk Hogan? I wonder if Michaels ever told Vince "I told you so" on that one. Then again, maybe he shouldn't. You know he'll be back.

They fight outside the ring. Raw GM William Regal arrives, sends out a ref, and the match is on.

They brawl outside the ring and then head to the ring. Nothing seems to work for Kennedy, so he goes back outside the ring, gets a chair, and brings it back again. Not exactly a ring general, because as soon as he gets in, HBK Superkicks the chair and sends him flying back out of the ring. Ouch.

Santino Morella faces Jerry "The" King Lawler. Brief "Jerry!" chant. Jim Ross says Lawler has won a record 126 titles in his career. Guaranteed that number is made up and/or inaccurate because there's no way every title Lawler won and lost back and forth every other week in Memphis and a cornucopia (Happy Thanksgiving!) of other southern towns for 30 years could possibly be counted.

Morella gets an advantage, then goes to the announce table and steals the King's crown. He does his malaprops - "government dog," "knocker-slobbers" - then rolls back in the ring to mock Jerry "Stupid" Lawler so more. Morella is a lot of fun.

So, of course the cagey King ends up taking advantage of Morella's showboating and rolls him up for the pin.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Chris Jericho... I mean... Randy Orton RKOs Lawler. Morella runs away. Orton checks on the Torch. It's late again. That's so aggravating. Maybe Orton should follow the Torch on-line.

A hurt, embarrassed, and furious Mr. Kennedy cuts a really good "young punk lying heel can't admit the other guy is still better than him" promo.

Regal and Jonathan Coachman blow smoke up Mr. McMahon's ass about how set up Hornswoggle for the beating from The Great Khali. McMahon gets mad when they bring up Finlay.

Poor Carlito comes out. He's still there. They write some lines for him to say about how his legendary father Carlos used to beat him up as a kid so he likes how Mr. McMahon is handling his new son.

McMahon, of course, makes a match for tonight so overconfident Carlito can lose to Hornswoggle.

Jeff Hardy faces Umaga. This match may not have been perfectly executed at points, but for emotion and drama this was a hell of a deal. Hardy is at the very height of his Jeff Hardyness. He's really over. Umaga is a serious threat, and lots of times he seemed to have crushed the littler guy. People were worried for Hardy and at the same time wanted him to pull the upset. Lots of very good near falls both ways.

Finally, Hardy somehow sends Umaga crashing from the ring to the announce table and it looks like he's going to win by countout.

Suddenly Snitsky jumps Hardy and the two monsters beat Hardy's ass. Kind of too bad they pushed Snitsky off-and-on as a jobber or this might be better. The fans rejoice more when Triple H makes the save. Even though he's heavy-handed in beating up both guys easily while Hardy winces in pain and helps out a little bit.

Triple H's promo in the back is kind of heelish at first, then he turns it by saying he made the save to show he's the real badass and that he and Hardy have nothing in common but mutual respect. Then he does the gay-baiting stuff with Todd Grisham so we know he, without a doubt, isn't gay, no way.

Bob Holly faces Cody Rhodes. Jim Ross basically says the two tag team partners now facing each other for no reason is poor booking. Well, the chapters in this story are out of order. Rhodes wins. This should have been a big moment, or at least a medium one, and it's not much, because they rushed the story and lost control of it.

Also Randy Orton has an update on the Torch. It just goes and on. Make your point, well ya?

Mr. McMahon and Finlay have a conversation about being Irish and not liking surprises. Vince won't admit being from North Carolina. Finlay makes fun of McMahon's age. This stuff is supposed to be funny but it lays an egg.

The Greatest Of Them all returns on Raw in Charlotte next week. Well, we'll see how this all goes.

Melina & Jillian Hall face Maria & Mickie James. Jillian Hall cuts a promo on Jon Secada, who sang a duet with Lillian Garcia on her latest CD. It's pretty much the purpose of the segment. Secada doesn't seem to know what's going on part of the time. Jillian gets kissed and pinned by Mickie James, to the delight of Garcia and Secada.

Poor Carlito works, and loses, a midget-style match to Hornswoggle, thanks to Finlay's help.

Randy Orton is still waiting for the Torch to arrive.

It never gets there. Which figures.

Chris Jericho clotheslines the runner.

You know, I was really looking forward to seeing a rejuvenated Chris Jericho pump some energy into Raw. He did a very good job on his new book and he really seems to understand the business. At first, this is really exciting and Jericho gets the big reaction.

And then...

Holy crap!

The guy starts twitching and grinning insipidly and he's just so pleased with himself and he starts making those arm gestures like he's the lead singer in a David Lee Roth cover band. He's such an entertainer with his little Siegfried and Roy outfit and Randy Orton can't compete because he' talks in an monotone voice (Jericho's little tribute to He Who Shall Not Be Named) and Orton has child-bearing hips and this may or may not work but the guy makes John Cena seem like the Undertaker and I just want Randy Orton to beat the hell of the over-the-top, preening jerk.

Maybe Jericho's just a little over-excited. We'll see how it goes.

Score 7.0

This was a big event and Chris Jericho's return was a really big deal, even if I wish Randy Orton and Umaga and Snitsky and Mark Henry and Khali and Finlay and Edge all would have run right out and whipped his ass right there in front of God and everybody.

I really liked the Jeff Hardy match with Umaga, co-starring Triple H. Kennedy did a nice job starting his big program with There was energy there, too. Santino Morella remains a reliable highlight of every Raw. I don't what WWE does to get Cody Rhodes back on track.

Comment on this Article Below

(CLICK FOR COMMENTS RULES OR TO REPORT ABUSE) [an error occurred while processing this directive]

(CLICK FOR COMMENTS RULES OR TO REPORT ABUSE)

ALSO DISCUSS MORE SUBJECTS IN OUR PWTORCH FREE FORUM

For more BREAKING NEWS on WWE, TNA!
VISIT OUR AFFILIATE - PROWRESTLING.NET

For UFC NEWS & BLOGS:
VISIT OUR SISTER SITE - MMATORCH.COM

Upgrade to PWTORCH VIP: DETAILS & SIGN-UP INFO

(c) 1999-2009 TDH Communications Inc. - All rights reserved.