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MITCHELL'S TAKE
MITCHELL: Pro Wrestling Paradise - The winner in TNA's formula for big contract and TV time Jan 23, 2008 - 2:50:54 PM
Say what you want about actually watching TNA or leaving your career in their hands, for a certain type of wrestler at a certain time in his career ,TNA is pro wrestling paradise. Hell, there may be no better place in the history of the business for you, if only you fit certain criteria.
So, what are these criteria, these keys to pro wrestling paradise?
--It's a matter of timing: You need to have been a WWF main-eventer either when Jeff Jarrett was strutting his stuff as "Double J" Jeff Jarrett in the mid-'90s or when Vince Russo was Vic Venom, heel columnist in the pages of Raw Magazine.
That, though, just gets you a better deal than your past-your-prime yesterday's-news-ass might deserve in a competitive market. That's nothing new.
--Which reminds me - another of the criteria to enter pro wresting paradise is that you not really need paradise - that you saved enough money from your glory days that you can take or leave this nirvana.
That, too, has certainly has its precedents in the business. One of the keys to controlling your career in this business and not getting jerked around by power-crazy promoters is to always have other job options.
It's the next criteria, though, that has turned your usual cushy late-'90s-WCW-style job into wrestling heaven.
--TNA doesn't care whether fans buy their pay-per-views or not. They care about their Spike TV ratings increasing incrementally, even though their audience growth has had no real effect on revenue coming in by any known measures.
So, what do these criteria mean for you, say, if you're Samoa Joe? Not much.
But if you're Kevin Nash, who learned how to ride a gravy train in WCW, those criteria are something of a perfect storm. Haven't had a sustained run on TV in ten years and worried that the new generation of John Cena fans might think you're an old (albeit handsome) man? No problem. Jarrett, Russo, and TNA Head Dixie Carter are there for you - writing skits that feature your too-cool-for-the-room persona to its best effect. Their hottest homemade young star, Joe, gets completely swerved by you and still wants to be your pal. (It serves him right for making all your admirers nervous by saying those means things about you when your buddy no-showed, the one who should be right there with you in pro wrestling heaven.). The interview gal is so smitten with you after one promo she wants dinner later.
Best of all? TNA doesn't care about pay-per-view buys, which means they don't care about those things that drive pay-per-view buys, things like main event matches. If you're Kevin Nash, 48 years old with eighteen-plus knees operations on his health chart is getting main-event money without having to work main event matches.
TNA is perfect for Nash. Carter, Russo, and Jarrett let him build a match for months against Alex Shelley. It never happened. How could those two even have a match? Then there was the big push for Nash to take on TNA Champion and top star Kurt Angle. Remember? Karen Angle offered to sleep with Nash? Nash power-bombed Angle in the center of the ring? Remember the match? It never happened, either. Even "bumping himself," how could Nash have a credible match with Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle? And what about Joe? Didn't that monster promo set up a match? What about Nash talking Joe into teaming again then walking out on him and leaving to take a beating from the TNA tag team champions? How about a match then? Aren't these all never-before-seen main-event matches that might draw pay-per-view buys?
TNA doesn't care. They don't need main event matches because, remember, pay-per-view doesn't count. Nash is giving them, for the most part, what they want.
Main event money, main event push, and no main event matches - that's why Kevin Nash is in wrestling heaven.
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