By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our monthly TNA Wrestling pay-per-view preview column!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Vince Russo, Eric Bischoff, Brother Love or anybody else in Carter Country. No TNA bookers have been harmed in the writing of this column. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Contestants not appearing on stage will receive a Roman Brio Men's Fragrance Gift Set. Roman Brio cologne and aftershave. Available in regular and leather scents. Any rebroadcast or other use of this column without the express written consent of Pro Wrestling Torch, Wade Keller or Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited. This is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had control over Total Nonstop Action.

The Wrestling Observer reports that TNA's total number of pay-per-view buys for the year 2011 were down almost 40 percent from the year 2010. With that in mind, Total Nonstop Action has added Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff to tomorrow night's big hullabaloo in Orlando. Thankfully, Hulk and Bisch won't be wrestling. They will be in the corners of Garett Bischoff and Gunner McHowitzer for their big match. Sting made his return to the ring Thursday night, and while his match boosted the number of viewers, the U.S. ratings for Impact fell to a 1.1. So, no Sting tomorrow night.

Before we talk about the matches, let's go on to this week's Wrestling History Lesson. Twenty years ago, on February 29, 1992, World Championship Wrestling held SuperBrawl II in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Before Randy Orton wrestled Daniel Bryan, before Davey Richards battled Eddie Edwards, and before Low-Ki vs. Pac, diehard wrestling fans were gathered around their cable boxes to see Jushin "Thunder" Liger face the late Brian Pillman for the WCW Light Heavyweight Title. For the call of the action, let's go to Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura.





Also, as a special bonus, here's the main event of this week's episode of TNA Xplosion. If you've been wondering what happened to the TNA Television Title, now you know. Here's Robbie E. defending his championship against Douglas Williams.



Five years ago, at Against All Odds 2007, we had a Prison Yard Match between Sting and Abyss. Yes, this happened.


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On with the projections!

Jesse Sorensen vs. Zema Ion (X Division Contenders Match): By the way, be sure to check out Zema Ion's appearance on the PWTorch Livecast from yesterday. Projection? Zema is able to pin Sorensen with the Bible Black to become the new number one contender.

Gail Kim vs. Tara Varon (TNA Knockouts Title): Gail got to beat up Tara in a backstage brawl on Impact, after Tara defeated Gail in a non-title match the week before. In any case, this is a nice break from the Gail Kim - Mickey James feud. Projection? Referee Earl Hebner misses blatant interference in a Knockouts match for the 307th straight time, Madison Rayne distracts Tara and Gail wins with the Eat Defeat.

Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley (TNA X Division Title Match): Alex Shelley's return to Impact has livened up a dull X Division, where the charismatic Austin Aries has been mowing down some uninteresting fan favorites. Projection? Shelley is able to finish off Aries with the shiranui, and we have a NEW X Division champion.

Matt Morgan & Crimson vs. Samoa Joe & Magnus (TNA World Tag Team Titles): Eric Magnus got to take center stage on Impact, and proved he can actually speak in complete sentences. Moreover, the British fans were a lot more interested in Magnus and Samoa Joe than they were in the tag team champions. Projection? Joe is able to surprise Morgan with the Muscle Buster, and we have NEW TNA World Tag Team champions.

A.J. Styles vs. Frankie Kazarian: Christopher Daniels is apparently blackmailing Frankie Kazarian to help Daniels in his feud against A.J. Styles. but really, as long as we get some good matches out of it, who cares? Projection? Styles survives and pins Kazarian after hitting the Styles Clash.

Garett Bischoff vs. Gunner: It's hard not to feel sorry for Garett Bischoff. Really. There are several reasons for this. 1) His parents misspelled "Garrett," and the poor fellow has to correct the spelling all the time, whether it's with the power company, his employers, or the state motor vehicles office. 2) Eric Bischoff is his father. Not that Eric's a bad parent or anything, but Bischoff made so many enemies in this business over the decades that Garett would have a better shot if he'd kept the name Jackson James and teamed with B.G. and Kip. 3) People watching Sunday's match are sure to be distracted by the fact that Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff are ringside.

Look, is there any way we can skip the next six months of failed attempts to get Garett over based on his last name, and move straight to the part where he teams up with Jesse Sorensen to form a fiery white meat babyface tag team? Nope? Very well, then. Projection? Daddy Eric's interference backfires, and Garett scores the fall over Gunner with a DDT.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm vs. Bully Ray (TNA World Title): As for as we know, this is a four-way match and not an elimination match, which makes this easier to book. Then again, the stipulations may change. After all, it's only Saturday. Projection? Storm and Hardy get distracted and start fighting each other, enabling Roode to hit Bully with the Double R spinebuster and keep the title.

Aftermath: Next month is Victory Road 2012. There's a whole lot of Sting in the advertising for this show, but Sting is unlikely to wrestle on his injured foot. Let's go with Robert Roode against the returning Ken Anderson, a rematch between Austin Aries & Alex Shelley, and James Storm & A.J. Styles teaming up against former stablemates Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian.

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Pat McNeill of Richmond, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He wishes the entire PWTorch Universe a happy St. Valentine's Day. Drop him a line at patmcneill@live.com

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