By Greg Parks, PWTorch columnist

Ten of us gathered in our apartment for the Royal Rumble and the Royal Rumble jackpot. My numbers this year: 14, 18, 30. The folks gathered: Me, Lindsey (my gf), Kurt and Gonzo of "Gonzo and the Greg," Tim, Phil, Dan (a special guest on G&TG this week), my sister and defending Rumble Jackpot winner Ashley, and Justin.

As we ate pizza before the show, we switched back and forth between Scott Stanford in the pre-show and the Pro Bowl.

(1) Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. The Big Show Ashley commented that the World Champion "looked like he got pulled off the street." Mark Henry looks decent considering how his injury looked on Smackdown. Gonzo first pointed out the "Daniel Bryan" chants from the crowd. Dan complained about how slowly Bryan sauntered to the open door, and was cut off by Henry. Tim asked what happened to the blue bar cages that WWE used to have. Bit of an anti-climactic ending, as cool as the spot looked. **1/4

(2) Beth Phoenix & Natalya & The Bellas vs. Eve Torres & Alicia Fox & Tamina & Kelly Kelly: Tim took issue with Beth Phoenix's looks, and we all went silent and looked to Kurt, who loves her. I hate that "jump off the top rope onto a group" spot, when half must fall down without getting hit. Match was better than I expected. Ashley and Tim agreed that this was more entertaining than the first match. *3/4

(3) John Cena vs. Kane: Michael Cole pimping up Cena's Facebook numbers was just pathetic. Not much talk about the actual match DURING the match. Among the items discussed: Asian stuntmen, Chris Benoit, and Happy Gilmore. "Are you kidding me?" was Kurt's response to the finish. With that finish, I expected some major post-match happenings. And we got it. So Eve's acting was critically panned on Monday, so what does WWE do? Why, give her more acting opportunities, of course! **

(4) Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay: Tim: "Is he Flash Funk?" I'm surprised they wasted Clay's entrance on a one-on-one match and didn't save it for the Rumble. Kurt was in the bathroom and missed the best part of the show so far: Clay and McIntyre's entrances. DUD

(5) Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk: "Who is that ugly woman?" Ashley asked of Vickie Guerrero. Interesting twist off the bat with Johnny Ace being at ringside. We discussed CM Punk's sexual conquests at the outset. I think I like "Hi, I'm Dolph Ziggler" better than "Show Off" Dolph Ziggler. Gonzo predicted Ace would pull the ref out of the ring after Punk hits the GTS. The ref bump was way too convenient with Ace at ringside. Ace still had plausible deniability at that point though. Thought a pissed Ace would pull the ref out after Punk nailed him with Ziggler. So Ziggler had four wins over Punk coming into this match, and Punk beat Ziggler four times in this match. Coincidence? ***

(6) Royal Rumble Match: Strangely, the first four numbers were had by Doug, Dan, Doug, Dan. Ashley said Alex Riley and Miz look like the same person. How am I supposed to believe this is a random draw given the first three guys out? Gonzo predicted Epico at #6...he was close. Justin had the two joke characters back-to-back at 8 and 9. Holy jobbers early on here. Dan thought we might have a tag team with Rhodes and Miz at some point. Everybody seemed to sense something big happening within a pick or two after Kingston came in. Jinder Mahal was my first pick.

Still mid-carders through 17. Cole was shocked that Booker was in the Rumble, yet the fact that he wasn't wearing pants should've been a tip-off. Kurt thought for sure Duggan would skin the cat on his elimination. I thought Kharma's music was Boogeyman's at first. Tim couldn't get over how pale Sheamus was. Dan said Wade Barrett looks like Mr. Potato Head. Gonzo, who has won our Jackpot twice, had #29 and I had #30, having never won - we both wanted Jericho. And of course, the rich get richer. But wait! The Brogue Kick eliminates Jericho! Ashley wins - two in a row! Rumble stunk. **3/4

Overall: Thumbs down show, with the World not quite ending as Jericho had promised. I'm surprised at the love the Rumble match is getting elsewhere online. Oh well...guess we'll have lots to discuss this week!

PWTorch VIP members have first-look access to all of Torch columnist Greg Parks's latest blogs in the VIP Forum. His blogs are published first in the PWTorch VIP Forum, and Parks interacts with other VIP members and Torch staff and contributors in the blog comments area afterward. Some of Parks's blog entries will be exclusive to the VIP Forum. Parks can be reached via e-mail at g_man9784@yahoo.com and on Twitter @gregmparks

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