KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
DECEMBER 5, 2011
TAMPA, FLA.
LIVE ON USA NETWORK

[Q1]

-The show opened with, of all things, the Raw opening with music by Nickelback and then pryo in the arena. It seems rare these days. Then Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show.

-John Cena made his full ring entrance as Cole and Lawler talked about last week's Piper's Pit. He said, "Well, well, well, it must be that time again, Monday night Raw."

(WK Reax: This sounded like the start of 75 percent of Sting interviews over the years when he had nothing to say or forgot what he was supposed to say.)

Cena said fans tell him how they feel about him, and that's what Piper did last week. He said, "If you don't watch, we don't work," so that makes it okay for fans to boo him. He told fans he respects them if they want to boo him. He thanked those who cheer him for staying loyal.

(WK Reax: By inviting boos, Cena is making is uncool to boo him. It seems less rebellious and more like you're playing right into Cena's hands. I wonder if that's the psychology behind this? It could work the other way, empowering those who boo to keep booing him.)

Cena said some people also chant Fruity Pebbles at him. He said he's been dealing with reactions like this since he got to WWE. He said it's no big deal even though people keep talking about it. He said what mattered last week was a hand slap, but not Piper slapping him; it was C.M. Punk beating Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Title. A "C.M. Punk" chant broke out. He said Punk needs a new no. 1 contender, and the only thing bigger than Cena vs. Rock at WrestleMania would be Cena vs. Rock at WrestleMania for the WWE Championship. Del Rio interrupted.

Del Rio walked onto the stage and told Cena to stop. He said last week John Laurinaitis said if Punk got himself intentionally DQ'd he would become WWE Champion. Cena said that didn't happen, so it doesn't matter. Del Rio threw to a clip of Cena dropping Del Rio over the top exposed turnbuckle before pinning Del Rio. Del Rio said Punk cheated and it was illegal and it wasn't his fault the referee didn't see it. (Actually, it was Ricardo Rodriguez's fault.) Del Rio said thus he should still be no. 1 contender. Vickie Guerrero then interrupted.

"Excuse me!" she said as she marched to the ring with Dolph Ziggler. She said she is standing next to the only Raw Superstar who deserves a title shot. Ziggler asked if they disagree with him. He asked which one of those two has the most entertaining match each week on purpose. Cena said he's not Dolph anymore, apparently. He said he's "The Caddy, The Cheerleader, Mitch Cumstain." Yes, he said that, although he mumbled slightly at the end. He then said he's The Showoff now, and he knows that because Michael Cole said it 25 times last week. (True.) Cena suggested they replace Show with Jerk. Ziggler invited Cena and Del Rio to fight each other to earn a shot at his U.S. Title. Cena asked if he will fight the one person who deserves to compete for the U.S. Championship. He said the title shot belongs to Zach Ryder. Ziggler asked if "beating a dead horse" or "been there done that" or "boring" is trending right now. He said he is "everyone's favorite hash-tag heel" and he gets the next title shot. The Miz then interrupted.

[Q2]

As Miz walked out, Cole and Lawler narrated Miz attacking R-Truth. Cole said Miz has been taking out the trash. Then a clip aired of Miz injuring John Morrison last week, his former partner. Cole said on top of all of that, Morrison was released by WWE by Laurinaitis afterward. Miz said, "Really? Really? Really?" He said The Slammys are next week, and he's the man who beat Cena at WrestleMania and he had a title reign that was actually longer than a month. He said he doesn't need Vickie Guerrero to actually get a reaction. Ziggler tried to take exception, but Miz kept talking and declared himself Superstar of the Year. He said therefore he deserves the next WWE Title shot.

Laurinaitis interrupted and, as always, introduced himself and his various titles. He said he's been falsely accused by Punk of being a boring executive figure-head unable to make decisions creatively. He said he's going to prove that wrong now. He said he's going to put each of them in matches tonight, and if they win, they'll be entered in the WWE Title match TLC in two weeks. He said they'd also have a contract signing with Punk later tonight. He said he's all about giving opportunities. He said Cena will wrestle in a match that he calls a "social experiment." He told Cena to come see him for details. He told Miz, Ziggler, and Del Rio that if they win, they're in. He then introduced Randy Orton as Miz's opponent. Cole called it an awesome way to kick off Monday Night Raw.

(WK Reax: I don't mind from time to time segments where one wrestler after another marches out to stake their claim at something important, and they all wanted a title shot. Plus, Ziggler being in the mix with past PPV singles main event wrestlers helps elevate him to the top tier in WWE and be seen as someone who can headline shows. It's also novel to see heels takes digs at one another. Miz's insults of Ziggler stand out. Ziggler has stolen Batista's title as Best Dressed. Is that a Slammy Award?) [c]

1 -- THE MIZ vs. RANDY ORTON

Cole plugged #Raw on Twitter. Lawler wondered if everyone won tonight if it'd become a Fatal Four-way match at TLC. It'd be a Fantastic Five-Way, wouldn't it? At 3:00 Miz countered Orton's second rope DDT attempt and backdropped Orton to the floor. Miz then charged at Orton at ringside, but Orton scoop powerslammed him. Suddenly Wade Barrett walked out and distracted Orton. Orton threw Miz onto the ring apron, but glared at Barrett and chased after him. The ref then counted Orton out.

WINNER: Miz in 4:00 via countout to earn a title match at TLC.

(WK Reax: That finish makes sense. Neither Miz nor Orton are going to do a clean job in this type of TV match. Miz needs a win to get to the PPV. It forwards the feud between Orton and Barrett. It saves Miz vs. Orton as a full-fledged match for another time down the line when it matters more.)

-When Orton turned to walk back to the ring, fuming over his situation, Barrett charged back out and hit him from behind with his forearms. [c]

-Cole and Lawler announced that the "WWE Network" is coming. Lawler said an important announcement was up next. [c]

[Q3]

-They showed the skyline of Tampa, Fla. as Cole threw to an announcement about the WWE Network.

-A video package aired that said: "In 2012 something is coming that will expand the WWE Universe into a new dimension. Introduced the first and only network featuring live in-ring action plus travel through time with exclusive classic programming." They showed the logos of the NWA, AWA, World Class, the WWF, and WCW. Then it said reality shows are coming that will star iconic Superstars living under one roof called "Legends House." It said:"This is no ordinary network, this is the network The Universe demands."

(WK Reax: It was well-produced, although it may have triggered some seizures.)

-Zack Ryder walked up to Laurinaitis and said he can't wait for The Network. He said the Legends House has to feature Iron Sheik, Hillbilly Jim, and Papa Shango. He said he has over 124,000 signatures so he deserves a title shot. Laurinaitis said signatures don't mean he deserves a title shot. Cena walked in dressed up as Ryder. Laurinaitis smiled as Cena did a full on Ryder imitation. Laurinaitis said he's going to put Laurinaitis in the ring with a very popular act, Mr. Ryder. Cena was against it. Laurinaitis tried to stir trouble. Laurinaitis said if he wins the match, he gets a future U.S. Title match against Ziggler. Laurinaitis reminded Cena that if he wins, he will get in the WWE Title match at TLC.

(WK Reax: That's an intriguing match-up since Cena and Ryder have been pals, but so much is at stake for both men in this match, they'll presumably fight hard to win.)

-David Otunga told Kevin Nash that Laurinaitis made it official that at TLC he's facing Triple H in a ladder match. Nash asked if Triple H is cleared. Otunga said he expects to be cleared in time. Nash said, "The only problem is I don't do ladder matches." Otunga said it's not a typical ladder match. He said whoever climbs the ladder first can use the sledgehammer until there's a winner. Nash nodded and said, "I could do a ladder match." Otunga added that tonight he'll be in action. Nash turned and began to walk away. Otunga asked if he cares whom his opponent is. Nash asked if it was Triple H. Otunga said no. Nash said it doesn't matter, then.

-At ringside, Cole and Lawler talked about this being the first time in eight years that Nash has been in action on Raw.

-Ricardo Rodriguez introduced Del Rio, then they cut to a break before revealing his opponent.

2 -- ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodrigues) vs. DANIEL BRYAN

Cole said this will be an easy win for Del Rio after what happened last week on Smackdown. Bryan's ribs were taped and Lawler said he's in no condition to be in a match like this. Trending on Twitter is "WWE Network" and "Kevin Nash." Del Rio countered a Bryan submission attempt and applied his cross armbreaker for the win.

WINNER: Del Rio in 2:00 to earn a title shot at TLC also.

[Q4] [c]

-A commercial aired for WWE Tribute to the Troops.

-Did You Know? WWE has over 42 million followers on Facebook.

(WK Reax: Did you know the PWTorch Livecast, available at BlogTalkRadio.com and in iTunes, is the most listened to pro wrestling audio show in the world? Millions of listens and counting in our first two years. Did you also know it's aired every single weekday, including holidays, since its debut? Did you know this Friday will feature a 50 minute interview with TNA's "Cowboy" James Storm? And scheduled guests the rest of the Fridays in December are: Diamond Dallas Page (16th), Bobby Lashley (23rd), and Lanny Poffo? (30th). Join us live or listen on delay at http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/pro-wrestling-torch or subscribe in iTunes for free by searching "pwtorch"!)

-A Natalya & Beth Phoenix vignette aired. It was interrupt by another video aired about the Second Day of 2012 when a prophet will emerge to destroy the weak and be the end of the world as you know it. The screen said "Look Within." Then it transitioned back into a vignette on Natalya & Beth Phoenix.

3 -- BETH PHOENIX & NATALYA vs. KELLY KELLY & EVE TORRES (w/Alicia)

Kelly surprised Natalya with a small package a minute in. "What an upset!" said Cole as Lawler laughed. Cole said it's the first loss in months for Phoenix & Natalya.

WINNERS: Kelly & Eve in 1:00.

-They showed footage from "WWE '12" of Cena vs. Ryder.

(WK Reax: Some day those graphics will seem awful and ancient.) [c]

-A generic ad aired for Smackdown asking how long Mark Henry's title reign will last. [c]

[Q5]

4 -- JOHN CENA vs. ZACK RYDER

Cena went into an early headlock. Ryder escaped and we saw an actual criss-cross leapfrog sequence in a WWE ring. Ryder came out ahead and settled into a headlock himself. The "Let's Go Cena / Cena Sucks" battle-chant began. Cole and Lawler continued talk about whether the fans boos are getting to him. Cole wondered if it's getting to Cena that fans are booing Cena against Rock "who hasn't been here" lately, whereas Cena "pours his heart out every night." Lawler said Cena says no. Cole read some fan reaction from WWE's social networking page. Ryder scored a two count at 4:00. They cut to Ziggler and Vickie watching on a monitor backstage. At 6:00 Cena countered the Rough Ryder with a flying shoulder tackle, and another, and then the back suplex and the You Can't See Me routine, which drew boos and cheers. Cena went for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ryder held onto the top rope. Cena charged Ryder in the corner, but Ryder boved. Cena flew into the corner. Ryder then gave Cena a running boot to the side of the face. Cole said Ryder might be closing in on a historic victory, the biggest of his career. Ryder went for a Rough Ryder, but Cena countered into the Attitude Adjustment for the win. They cut to Ziggler and Vickie backstage, who looked relieved.

WINNER: Cena in 8:00 to earn a title shot at TLC.

-Ryder yelled at Cena afterward, "This is all I had!" Cena asked Ryder to give him a second to try to fix the situation. Cena walked quickly to the back. [c]

-A commercial aired hyping next week's three-hour Raw featuring the Slammy Awards including clips of past awards shows.

-At ringside Cole said Slammy season is his favorite time of year. He showed off two Slammy Award trophies and said he'll become a three-time winner. Then they plugged a poll for Superstar of the Year. Candidates are Orton, Del Rio, Punk, Henry, Miz, and Cena.

[Q6]

-An angry sweaty Cena walked up to Laurinaitis and Otunga backstage. Cena said, "If they don't watch, we don't work." He said "that kid" Ryder has worked his ass off and deserves an opportunity. Laurinaitis said he can be very creative, so he'll give him one more opportunity and he has to win. Cena said finally he's listening to the people. Laurinaitis said it's on one condition. He said Cena has to give up his WWE Title opportunity at TLC as a result. Cena went into actor mode and reinterated what Laurinaitis said and then thought out-loud about his options. He said he's a ten-time champion because he worked hard, but also because he was given opportunities. He said Ryder has worked his ass off and nobody in the office gives him an opportunity. Cena said Ryder deserves at least one chance. He shook hands with Laurinaitis. Cena asked who the opponent would be. Laurinaitis said he'd have to wait and see.

-Back at ringside Lawler said it's very unfair. Cole praised Laurinaitis for being fair. Lawler disagreed.

-The Kane vignette aired again, hyping his return at an unspecified time. [c]

5 -- ZACK RYDER vs. MARK HENRY

David Otunga walked to the ring and told ring announcer Justin Roberts something. Roberts then announced this would be a no-DQ, no countout match to assure a winner. Then Mark Henry was revealed to be his opponent. Cole said Lawler should be happy because Henry is badly hurt. His left ankle was still heavily taped. Ryder charged at Henry at the bell, but Henry forearm bashed him to the mat. He stomped away at Ryder and then headbutted him, sending him rolling across the ring. Then he stomped him hard to the mat, then choked him. Ryder stomped on Henry's bad ankle, then clubbed away at him. Henry fired back with an elbow to take Ryder down hard. Henry threw Ryder head-first into the corner turnbuckle, then reached through the ropes to get at him. Ryder dropped to the floor and yanked Henry's ankle into the ringpost. He hit his running boot to the side of Henry's face next. Henry came back again, though, and shoved Ryder hard to the mat. Cena then ran out and applauded Ryder. Ryder attempted to give a distracted Henry the Rough Ryder, but Henry blocked it. Cena interfered with an Attitude Adjustment, then Ryder covered Henry for the win. Ryder celebrated with front row fans. Cena raised Ryder's arm on the stage.

WINNER: Ryder in 4:00 to earn a U.S. Title shot.

-Backstage outside of Laurinaitis's office, Vickie Guerrero walked out looking disappointed and frustrated. Ziggler, with Jack Swagger, asked Vickie what happened. She said she couldn't get the decision reversed. She revealed his opponent would be Sheamus. Swagger said he'll be at ringside to assure victory. Ziggler said he didn't want him there.

(WK Reax: Swagger makes Ziggler look like a featherweight sized wrestler standing next to him. They should probably keep those two apart unless they want to draw attention to Ziggler being undersized for a top tier heel. It's not like Swagger is pushed as a giant.)

[Q7] [c]

-A graphic touted Raw as the no. 1 show in social media activity last Monday night.

-Lawler and Cole at ringside reacted to fan comments at WWE.com's InterAction page.

(WK Reax: At least WWE is turning all of the attention paid to Twitter and Facebook into something that can drive traffic to their website, and thus ad revenue. So if that was the masterplan, as annoying and distracting as it was, there is at least a profit motive. Plus, generating social buzz can help WWE rally their fans to push for clearances for WWE Network in the spring.)

6 -- KEVIN NASH vs. SANTINO

Nash walked out with a sledgehammer as the NWO music played. Cole called him "one of the menacing, controversial Superstars history." He said his last Raw match was Aug. 19, 2003. Santino approached with determination and enthusiasm, quick extinguished with a knee and a side slam. Nash looked like he almost lost his grip on Santino when he lifted him for the first side slam. "Brodus Clay" and "Masked Kane" are trending on Twitter at this point. Nash then gave Santino a big boot, then lowered his strap. Lawler didn't acknowledge that's gimmick infringement. Nash then gave Santino his Jackknife for the win. Nash managed to be methodical in his pacing and still win in about a minute. Then he picked up a sledgehammer and carried it into the ring. "This is not good," said Cole. Lawler said there's no need for that. Santino backed down and begged off as Nash threatened to strike him with it. Instead, he raised it into the air as his music played again.

WINNER: Nash in 1:00.

-They showed Punk and Evan Bourne chatting backstage. [c]

7 -- SHEAMUS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Vickie Guerrero)

After back and forth action early, at 5:00 Ryder came out. His music played as he charged to the ring. In a replay of Barrett and Cena interrupting matches earlier, Ziggler was distracted. That opened up Sheamus to give him his big boot for the win.

WINNER: Sheamus in 6:00.

-Afterward Ryder gave Ziggler his Rough Ryder, then showboated over Ziggler as Vickie yelled at him.

-Cole said that means it will be a Triple Threat match with Del Rio and Miz challenging Punk for the WWE Title, now that Ziggler lost to Sheamus and Cena bowed out of the match. [c]

-The Contract Signing for the Triple Threat WWE Title match at TLC took place next. Laurinaitis walked out and said so many exciting things are happening such as the introduction of Brodus Clay and also that he had signed Cena vs. Henry next week on Raw. With Del Rio and Miz already in the ring, Laurinaitis introduced Punk. Punk said this is such a cliche - WWE contract signing that ends in a pier six brawl. He said he wants that to trend on Twitter.

(WK Reax: Punk is too cool to be pandering to "trend on Twitter," considering Justin Gabriel trended on Twitter last week.)

Punk said they haven't had a peaceful contract signing since WrestleMania 3 when Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant battled. He told Laurinaitis to play the role of Jack Tunney and they can sign the contract and then get to fighting. Laurinaitis said he is Mr. Excitement, and so he's not going to have a traditional Triple Threat match at TLC. He said it'll be a Triple Threat Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match. Punk said that means he has still merely has to beat the guy he pinned last week on Raw and the guy who lost at Survivor Series, so he's okay with that. Miz said he took out Truth and John Morrison, so he shouldn't underestimate him. Punk said, "You took them out? On a date? Where'd you take them?" He made fun of his faux-hawk and his hot pink tie. "I'm gonna guess you took them to see that new 'Twilight' flick, not that there's anything wrong with that."

(WK Reax: Okay, anyone who thinks it's clever and cool to infer being gay is something to be ashamed of and made fun of, then adds "not that there's anything wrong with that" - a line from Seinfeld back in the Clinton Administration when Newt Gingrich was a national political figure and "The Muppets" were still known by children everywhere… oh wait, forget it.)

[Q9]

-Miz - who's facial reaction to Punk's lame gay joke were priceless - then said: "Actually I took them up to that stage and face-planted them onto that grate." He said he hurt Morrison so bad, Laurinaitis released him. Laurinaitis interjected that he wishes Morrison all the best in his future endeavors. Miz said he will make the WWE Championship interesting again. He said he is the most must-see WWE Champion of all time and at TLC he'll take back what's his. Punk said, "That was a lot of information. I appreciate it." He said Miz is right they're not friends because he doesn't do red carpet events and have TMZ on speed dial so they can hopefully get to LAX to ask him stupid questions when he arrives. Instead, he concerns himself with being the best wrestler.

Del Rio said he sees two little girls arguing, but he is the best wrestler standing before them. He said in 2011 he won everything - Royal Rumble, Money in the Bank, and the WWF Title. He said he'll end the year doing the same thing and become WWE Champion again to end his year. He said Miz and Punk can't stop him. Punk said, "If you say because it's your destiny, I swear I'm gonna start drinking."

Miz interjected that he and Del Rio aren't friends and they're going to tear each other apart if that's what it takes to win. He said they can agree that no matter what happens at TLC, Punk won't walk out at WWE Champion. Miz and Del Rio signed the contract. Punk asked if after he signs it they can fight. Punk signed it. Laurinaitis then reiterated the stops for the match. He said he wished each of them good luck and, on a personal note, he said he's looking forward to the match. He asked the photographer to take a picture of all of them. Who does he think he is, David Stern? Punk didn't participate and exclaimed, "Come on? Even your contract signings are boring. They're supposed to end in violence."

Punk said if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. He kicked Miz, who bailed out, then attacked Del Rio. Rico went after Punk, but Punk lifted him for a Go To Sleep, although barely. Del Rio attacked Punk before he could execute it. Del Rio then moved the table to mid-ring and set up Punk. Miz reentered the ring and tried to give Del Rio his Skull Crushing Funale on the table. Del Rio backed Miz into the corner. Punk gave Del Rio a running knee in the corner, then gave Del Rio a running bulldog through the table. Punk then gave Miz the Go to Sleep and Miz landed on Del Rio. Cole asked, "Will this be the scene at TLC?" Punk had a bloody nose. Punk's music played as he held his title in the air and stared down Laurinaitis, who stood on the stage and glared at him.

(WK Reax: That felt like a final angle six days before a PPV, not one two weeks before a PPV. Overall, a solid episode of Raw that felt like it moved swiftly from one segment to the next without any dead spots. Nothing classic, but solid PPV hype with most matches having ramifications.)

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