WWE Smackdown TV report
March 9, 2012
Taped 3/6 in Uncasville, Conn.
Report by Michael Cupach, PWTorch contributor

[Q1]

-WWE open.

-Last Monday, Teddy Long called the shots on Raw. Tonight on Smackdown, his counterpart, John Laurinaitis, is taking over Smackdown! What will Mr. Excitement have planned and how will it affect his standing with the Board of Directors?

-Josh Mathews welcomes everyone to Smackdown as a cage lowers over the ring. David Otunga and John L. are in the ring as David introduces Laurinaitis. He thanks the Board for his opportunity tonight and he maintains that it is his destiny to run both Raw and Smackdown. Tonight, he will start the show with a cage match for the U.S. Title and show Teddy how it is done!

-A replay of last Monday's Raw shows how Santino won the U.S. Title. Santino makes his way to the ring and humps the announce tale while playing the imaginary trombone.

1 - U.S. champion SANTINO MARELLA vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler) - U.S. Title match - steel cage match

Since Wade Barrett stopped brushing his hair, Jack thought he would steal his fourth-grader hairstyle! Swagger pounds away at Santino in the corner. Powerslam by Swagger gets a two count and Swagger shows some frustration and elbows away at Marella’s rib cage. Jack repeatedly sends Santino from one side of the cage to the other, driving him face-first. Marella tries to sneak out of the cage, but Swagger stops him. Marella kicks Swagger in the face and tries a crossbody, but Jack catches him and slams him. Swagger showboats as the announcers wonder why he doesn’t just put Santino away. He uses a breather to mount a comeback. Santino sets up the Cobra, but Ziggler tries climbing the cage and the Cobra “bites” his hands and sends him back to the floor. Jack tries a back body drop, but Santino hits him with the Cobra in the eye as the ref kicks Ziggler out of the arena as Smackdown takes a break!

(Commercial)

Swagger whips Santino into the cage as Smackdown returns. Jack rips the Cobra off Santino's arm and tosses it from the ring - a genius move, in my opinion! Santino tries a few quick roll-ups, but comes up short. Swagger then takes control back with a Swagger Bomb. Both men attempt to climb out and end up trading blows on the top rope, but Swagger wins that exchange. More showboating from Swagger and Santino hits him with a DDT out of nowhere.

[Q2] Santino calls for the door to open and starts to crawl out, but Swagger applies the anklelock and drags him back in. Vickie starts arguing with the ref to close the door while Santino is still halfway out. He reverses the anklelock and Vickie ends up slamming the door on Jack’s head unknowingly and Santino exits the cage, much to her chagrin!

WINNER: Santino Marella via escape in 10:00.

-Teddy Long meets Santino on the ramp and gives him a big hug to a nice pop.

-Tonight, a Michael Cole Exclusive, he interviews Sheamus and Daniel Bryan in the ring. Also, Sheamus, Big Show, and Randy Orton team against Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, and The Miz!

(Commercial)

-They show a shot of the casino at Mohegan Sun as the announcers recap what happened in the previous match between Swagger and Santino.

-Backstage, Otunga asks Laurinaitis to calm down and John says he is calm. Just then, Teddy Long enters. John says that last week he promised a match between Kane and Long’s girlfriend, Aksana. Long asks him to reconsider and put their differences to the side. John says that last Monda,y Teddy pushed him down on his butt and now he wants to be friends. Teddy pleads with him to not put her in harm's way, but Laurinaitis starts bullying Long by saying they didn’t hear any pleases and no apologies for what happened. Teddy does as they ask, but John instead wonders if they should settle things like men in the ring. And, if Long wins, the match between Aksana and Kane will still happen.

-Recap of last Monday's Raw and the development between Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and The Undertaker.

[Q3]

(Commercial)

-Drew McIntyre is out in his wrestling gear and he has a smirk on his face. Josh Mathews shows events from last week where Drew lost a match with his Smackdown spot on the line. Drew, in the middle of the ring, says that he was fired last week. But, this week, John Laurinaitis has given him the opportunity to win his spot back against a mystery opponent. Great Khali makes his way out. David Otunga comes out before the match starts and he asks Khali to take a seat at ringside because he is not in the match. Otunga introduces Drew's real opponent – Hornswoggle!

2 - DREW MCINTYRE vs. HORNSWOGGLE

Hornswoggle is clean-shaven and looks like he lost some weight. Drew is elated with his opponent. Drew toys with him to start. He bodyslams him and goes for a pin, but picks Swoggle up at two. He slams him again and pulls him up again. Michael Cole says how ridiculous this is - Drew should put him away because his job is on the line. Drew powerslams Swoggle and the ref says that Hornswoggle is out cold, so he calls the match.

WINNER: Drew McIntyre by TKO in 2:00.

-Post-match, Khali gets in the ring and lays out Drew, then checks on Hornswoggle. I wish I could hear what he was saying to Hornswoggle!

-Backstage, Teddy is lacing his boots as Aksana comes in without knocking. She says she is scared, but Teddy says that he has to be a man and won’t let Johnny walk all over him and he has to make an impression with the Board.

(Commercial)

[Q4]

-Laurinaitis is warming up in his office as Otunga comes in and says that he checked on Kane and he is one angry monster.

3 - EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. MARK HENRY

Josh notes that Mark Henry was inducted into the International Sports Hall of Fame earlier this week and Cole goes over a few of Henry's accomplishments in weightlifting. Henry and Jackson go face-to-face and slug it out to start. Jackson powers Henry into the corner and pounds away. He goes for the Torture Rack early, but Henry fights his way out. Henry proceeds to slam the heck out of Jackson, then talks some trash to him. Mark bodyslams him and misses when dropping an elbow. Both men are slow to get up and Jackson splashes Henry in the corner, but comes up short on a second attempt. Henry goes for the World's Strongest Slam and it connects for the win.

WINNER: Mark Henry by pinfall in 2:00. A nice strong win for Henry after a few weeks of impressive losses.

-John Laurinaitis is making his way to the ring, as is Teddy Long. Cole declares that this will be a wrestling clinic!

(Commercial)

-Both GMs make their way to the ring and they look like they mean business! Lillian Garcia does the introductions like this is the main event of WrestleMania or something! This is great!

4 - TEDDY LONG (w/Aksana) vs. JOHN LAURINAITIS (w/David Otunga)

John has a microphone as the bell rings and he tells Teddy that Kane is ready to come out as soon as the match is over. He tells Long to be a man and do the right thing - not to put Aksana in harm's way. He tells Long to take a dive for him.

[Q5] Long says he is going to fight, so John motions for Kane to come on down. Kane makes his entrance as Aksana looks terrified. Randy Orton then comes in out of nowhere and RKOs Kane, taking him out of the equation. Teddy Long then rolls up Laurinaitis for the win!

WINNER: Teddy Long by pinfall in 1:00.

-Backstage, Teddy Long and Aksana are heading back to the dressing room while John is in the ring, livid and pacing. Orton continues to stand over Kane, proud of his work.

-Still to come, the six-man tag match!

(Commercial)

5 - WWE tag champions EPICO & PRIMO (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH - non-title match

Epico and Kofi start things. Monkey flip by Kingston, then a tag to Truth, who randomly does the splits, then drops a fist on Epico. Wristlock by Truth and he tags Kofi back in. Sidekick by Kingston gets a two count. Epico whips Kofi into the ropes and Primo hold the ropes open, sending Kofi spilling to the floor. Back in the ring, the Colons isolate Kofi in the corner, making fast tags and keeping Kofi down. Abdominal stretch by Epico, but the heels refuse to cheat by grabbing the ropes.

Kofi tries to make a tag and makes it, but the ref didn’t see it, so the ref calls it off, allowing Primo and Epico to double-team Kofi some more. Kingston tries fighting out of a sleeper by Primo, but Primo grabs the hair to put Kofi back on the ground. Kofi manages to kick Primo in the face and break away to make the tag. Truth is a house of fire, taking out both opponents with Lie Detectors. Kofi sends Primo packing from the ring and Rosa tries interfering, but to no avail as Truth puts Epico away with a front face slam!

WINNERS Kofi and R-Truth by pinfall in 5:00.

[Q6]

-Up next, Michael Cole interviews Bryan and Sheamus!

(Commercial)

-Obligatory update of what happened between The Rock and John Cena last Monday on Raw.

-Michael Cole introduces Sheamus.

(Commercial)

[Q7]

-Michael Cole introduces Daniel Bryan.

-Cole calls Bryan “champ” and Bryan takes heed to Cole calling him that now. Michael starts off by asking him how much luck has come into play as champion. Bryan responds by saying that he hasn’t had any luck in a long time. He goes over every opponent he has had and has beaten since becoming champion and he says that luck had nothing to do with those victories; it was the fact that he uses scientific wrestling combined with a healthy vegan diet that makes his success.

Cole says that Sheamus had some luck in winning the Rumble this year and Sheamus says that everyone needs a little luck. He says he is lucky to be in front of the WWE Universe. He says that while he has luck, he has never had to hide behind a 99-pound little girl. A.J. starts to give her opinion, but Bryan tells her to shut up. He says that she has done nothing but get in the way. Sheamus says that Bryan should be wearing the skirt in the relationship and finishes by saying that at WrestleMania he will beat him for the World Championship!

-Cody Rhodes and Big Show make their way to the ring for the six-man match and Smackdown takes a break!

(Commercial)

6 - SHEAMUS & RANDY ORTON & BIG SHOW vs. World Hvt. champion DANIEL BRYAN & IC champion CODY RHODES & THE MIZ - six-man tag match

Sheamus and Cody start things off. Sheamus grabs Cody and tags in Orton, who unloads on Cody in the corner with ten right hands.

[Q8] Rhodes quickly tags out to Bryan, who whips Orton in the corner and follows up with a running dropkick. Orton gets a dropkick of his own out of nowhere and he tags in Big Show, who overpowers Bryan in the corner and chops him all over the ring. Bodyslam by Show and Bryan makes a very quick tag to The Miz, who is reluctant to get into the match. Miz tries sticking and moving, but Show grabs a hold of him and chops him in the corner. Miz escapes Shows clutches and tags in Cody, Show can’t wait for him to get into the ring, but Cody quickly tags back out to Miz, who gets brought into the ring by Big Show as Smackdown takes a break!

(Commercial)

Sheamus is dominating The Miz when Smackdown returns and he nails him with a big clothesline for a two count. Miz fights out of an armbar and unloads on Sheamus in the corner. The ref calls for a break and Sheamus pops up to clotheslines Miz. Double-team behind the ref's back does nothing to Sheamus, as he decks Rhodes and nails Miz with an Irish Hammer. Sheamus tries tying Miz up in the ropes and clubbing him on the chest, but Miz gets a dropkick and sends him out to the floor. On the outside, Bryan hits him in the temple with a flying knee.

Bryan gets tagged in and he kicks away at Sheamus and drops some knees to Sheamus's face. Tag to Miz, who takes Sheamus out with a running boot to the face. Tag to Rhodes to continues the assault on Sheamus. After some more tags, Rhodes gets a two count after a side Russian Legsweep, and he puts Sheamus in an armbar. Sheamus starts to mount a comeback again, and this time he uses a backbreaker to get the advantage and make a hot tag to Orton.

Orton clears the ring and Big Show goes to put his hands on Cody, who flees to backstage. Hangman DDT by Orton to Miz, then he tries one on Bryan, but Bryan hangs him up on the ropes. Sheamus and Bryan start brawling on the outside as The Miz attempts a Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton turns it around into a RKO for the win!

WINNERS: Orton & Sheamus & Show by pinfall in 14:00.

Post-match: Kane sneak-attacks Orton and both men brawl around ringside, doing the normal spots where one guy gets thrown to the steel post and into the barricade. Both men start fighting into the crowd and up the stairs as Smackdown abruptly fades out mid-brawl.

Thanks for reading, please check me out on Twitter @MJCupach as I tweet live during Raw and WWE PPVs!

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