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WWE Smackdown Report
CUPACH'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 3/16: Alt. Perspective review of Jericho-Sheamus, Bryan greatness, latest WM28 hype, Mike's Reax

Mar 18, 2012 - 11:34:48 AM
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WWE Smackdown review
March 16, 2012
Taped 3/13/12 in Columbus, Ohio
Aired on Syfy
By Michael Cupach, PWTorch Contributor

SD_140_41.jpg

-WWE open.

-Smackdown open followed by the usual fireworks. Josh Mathews welcomes everyone to Smackdown, which is three weeks away from WrestleMania.

-Lilian Garcia introduces the return of Christian, who comes out to a good pop. It looks like The Peep Show is starting the show tonight. Christian welcomes everyone to the return of The Peep Show. He said on WWE's website it was reported that at WrestleMania there will be a 12-man tag team match between men representing Teddy Long and John Laurinaitis and that each team is fighting for their G.M. to gain control of both Raw and Smackdown. Christian then welcomes out his guests today. First out is John Laurinaitis and his team captain - David Otunga. They come out and Christian says that he is glad to have Mr. Excitement on his show tonight and then he introduces a man who has no honor – according to him – Teddy Long, who is out with Aksana.

Christian says that the stakes at WrestleMania are huge and unheard of. So, Christian says he should do something unheard of and put his feelings to the side and let each man try to convince him why he should join his team at WrestleMania. Christian gives Teddy the first chance to convince him. Instead of saying anything, Teddy gives Christian a crooked eye and Christian dresses him down. Teddy starts to talk and Christian cuts him off and says that instead of putting him on his team he should give Christian what he deserves and that is a World Title match in Columbus! Teddy says that he got what he deserves already and he respects what Christian has done in his career, but he will not beg Christian to join his team. Teddy does say that if Christian or any other wrestler wants a World Title match, he will have to earn it and will not be given anything as a hand-out.

John interrupts Teddy and says that if Christian joins his team and Team Johnny wins, then he will guarantee him a chance at the World Title whenever he wants. Christian thanks him for the chance and says he will not fail like Teddy has failed tonight. He said that Teddy failed to bring Christian onto his team and tonight was the night that sealed his fate. Christian officially joins Team Johnny!

Laurinaitis pulls out a Christian shirt and before he puts it on Teddy interrupts and says that it is time for action and he wants Christian to be in action tonight, but John says that Christian is still on the shelf because of Teddy Long. Instead, Teddy puts David Otunga in a match right now against the newest member of team Teddy - Kofi Kingston! Kofi comes out with Santino, who is scared of Kingston’s pyro!

-Up next, Kofi takes on Otunga.

(Commercial)

1 - KOFI KINGSTON vs. DAVID OTUNGA

Otunga is in control when Smackdown returns with the match already in progress. He is pounding away at Kofi in the corner until the ref pulls him off Kofi and Kofi starts unloading on Otunga. David uses his strength to tie Kofi up and slam him to the mat as Teddy and John bicker on commentary about Christian being able to compete tonight. Otunga uses his dress shoes to choke out Kofi and then drops a big elbow across his sternum. In the middle of the ring, Otunga mounts Kofi and clubs him across the chest as the ref counts to five.

Dropkick by Kofi gets a two count. Kofi is getting ready to give David his Trouble in Paradise finisher, but Christian trips him from the outside. Otunga clotheslines Kofi down and Teddy has a few words with the ref, who sends Christian to the locker room. Otunga takes off his belt and wraps it around his fist while the ref is getting rid of Christian and before he can hit Kofi, Santino takes the belt. Otunga knocks Santino off the apron to the floor and Kingston takes out Otunga with Trouble in Paradise for the victory!

WINNER: Kofi Kingston by pinfall in 5:00.

-Backstage, Daniel Bryan is waiting outside the Divas locker room for A.J. She comes out and tells Bryan that she doesn’t care for the dress he bought her; she said it doesn’t fit right. He asks her to turn around for him and he says that she is right and that the dress looked better on the mannequin in the store. Daniel says that he wants them to be a power couple like Savage and Elizabeth, Hunter and Stephanie, or Bradgelina, and that they should both be champions. He said he pulled some strings to put her on the path to the Divas Title and she has a match next. He tells her to get ready and gives her a kiss.

(Commercial)

-The Divas make their way to the ring for the next match. Daniel Bryan doesn’t come down with A.J. Instead, he makes a separate entrance! Beautiful!

2 - NIKKI BELLA vs. A.J. (w/Daniel Bryan)

Bryan has some words of wisdom for A.J. when the match starts and A.J. clotheslines Nikki down to start. But, she gets distracted by Bryan and she is blindsided by Nikki. Nikki puts A.J. in a chinlock and Bryan yells at A.J. to fight out and that she better not submit. A.J. gets to her feet and punches Nikki in the gut to get out of the hold. She kicks Nikki in the head to knock her down and then she botches a cross body. Nikki tries to switch with Brie, but Bryan yells at the ref, who puts a stop to Twin Magic. The ref yells at the Bellas and tells Bryan to get off the apron. While his back is turned, Brie pulls A.J. by her hair to the mat. Nikki picks up A.J. and A.J. ends up rolling up Nikki for a quick win!

WINNER: A.J. by pinfall in 3:00.

-Post match: Bryan’s music plays and he celebrates like he won the match. Booker and Cole argue over who gets credit for the win – A.J., who was in the match and got the pin, or Bryan, who prevented Twin Magic.

Mike’s Reax: I am loving what is happening with Bryan and A.J. Bryan's “managing” of A.J. was tremendous, as he stole the show with his bravado and the over-the-top celebrating. Wherever WWE decides to go with A.J. will put her in the position of being either the biggest babyface when she stands up to Bryan or the biggest heel when she reveals that everything she has been doing was an act.

-Still to come, Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho for the first time.

(Commercial)

- Josh Mathews thanks Flo Rida for “Wild Ones,” which is one of the theme songs for this year's WrestleMania. Is it just me or is a Flo Rida song the theme for just about every PPV these days? I’d guess Flo witnessed Vince eating a slice of pizza or sneezing or something, and getting his songs air time is how Vince buys his silence.

-Raw Rebound featuring Rock and Cena’s promos from last Monday's Raw in Cleveland.

-The announcers debate who had the better songs, Cena or Rock, and they segue into Cena taking on Mark Henry this Monday on Raw.

-Backstage, Matt Striker is with Cody Rhodes and he asks Cody who he can continue to upset Big Show and expect to successfully defend his title at WrestleMania and walk out with the belt? Cody says that Big Show has never won a one-on-one match at WrestleMania and doesn’t expect him to change anything this year. Cody also says that 364 days out of the year he would be afraid of Show, but not at WrestleMania, where Show always chokes. As for how to defeat a giant, Cody is taking on Great Khali tonight and he will show everyone how he intends to take out Big Show!

(Commercial)

3 - Intercontinental champion CODY RHODES vs. GREAT KHALI - non-title match

Cody circles Khali to start, sticking and moving. Khali takes a swing and Cody ducks, kicking the side of Khali's leg, but Khali chops Rhodes and backs him into the corner and chops away some more. Headbutt by Khali and more chopping in the corner commences. Khali tosses Rhodes across the ring and Rhodes is quick to get up and take Khali down with a single arm DDT. Cody tries working Khali's arm, then switches to the knees. Khali clubs his way back to his feet and sends Cody flying into the turnbuckle. Cody tries a cross body from the top rope, but catches a chop to the chest. Khali calls for the chop, but Cody ducks and hangs Khali up on the top rope. Rhodes missile dropkicks Khali in the leg then connects with the Beautiful Disaster Kick for the win.

WINNER: Cody Rhodes by pinfall in 3:00.

Mike's Reax: Good credibility-raising match for Rhodes showing off how he can compete with a much-larger opponent.

-Randy Orton is backstage; he is making his way to the ring, next!

(Commercial)

-Lilian Garcia introduces Randy Orton. He oh so slowly makes his way to the ring to address what is going on lately with Kane. It looks like Orton is sporting a dapper new shirt. Orton has a microphone in the middle of the ring and the lights are low around him. He starts off by saying his name and gets a small pop for remembering his own name. He says that when he has a problem with someone, he doesn’t talk about it; he hunts him down. But, lately, he is the one who is being hunted, by Kane. Orton says that they are leading each other down a path of self-destruction and he wants to know why Kane is targeting him. Orton says that unlike Cena, he embraces hate and in return hate embraces Orton. Randy calls out Kane and he wants an explanation because when he has to put Kane down he wants to know why he had to do it.

Kane makes his way out, almost slower than Orton. Almost. Kane stands on the stage and he asks Orton if he is uncomfortable living in the unknown. Kane says normally he would enjoy watching Orton twist in the wind, not knowing why he is being attacked. Kane says since he asked nicely he will clue him in. A clip of a Street Fight between Orton and Kane from last summer is shown. Orton beat Kane and, after the match, Kane shook Orton's hand and showed him some respect.

Back live, Kane says that he watches that footage every day to remind himself of what he became that day, a wretch of humanity. Kane says that that man is gone and what is front of Orton is the monster that always should have been that has no humanity left. Kane then says WWE isn’t big enough for the two of them and on top of that, Kane wants closure and he won’t get that until Randy gets decimated.

Orton thanks Kane for that and invites him to the ring to finish what they started. Kane starts making his way out, but stops halfway and says that he wants to end Orton at the biggest stage possible, WrestleMania. Kane sets off his pyro and both men stare each other down.

-Still to come, Sheamus and Jericho go one-on-one.

(Commercial)

-The David Otunga ambulance chaser commercial from Raw aired again.

-Drew makes his way to the ring and they throw to a clip of Drew beating Hornswoggle last week and getting his job back. Teddy Long then appears on the Titantron and says that Drew now has a one-year, no-cut contract and he is happy because he can now put Drew in matches with guys like…Big Show!

4 - BIG SHOW vs. DREW MCINTYRE

Show aggressively goes at Drew to start, punching and chopping him in the corner. Bodyslam by Big Show, followed up by another. Show backs Drew into the corner and tries a splash, but Drew gets his feet up and takes Show off his feet. Show is up quickly and spears Drew. Chokeslam by Big Show, but instead of pinning him, he lets Drew get up and he knocks him out with a WMD. The ref checks on Drew and declares that he can no longer compete.

WINNER: Big Show by knockout in 1:30

-Cody Rhodes is shown backstage watching the match.

(Commercial)

5 - MARK HENRY vs. YOSHI TATSU

Jobber entrance for Yoshi tonight. Dropkick by Yoshi starts thing off and it doesn’t phase Henry, who headbutts Yoshi off his feet. Henry proceeds to choke Tatsu on the bottom rope and then kick him in the ribs while berating him. Big right hands by Henry in the corner on Tatsu while the ref tries to get a clean break. Running powerslam by Henry a la British Bulldog, then he lets Tatsu up and gives him the World’s Strongest Slam for the win.

WINNER: Mark Henry by pinfall in 1:30.

-At the announce table, the announcers discuss Team Long vs. Team Laurinaitis. Josh then plays a message from Zack Ryder from his True Long Island YouTube show. Ryder blames John for what has happened to him and he tries politicking his way onto Teddy's team. Josh Mathews says that Zack is trying to put a rally together on Raw with the fans to get a spot on Team Teddy.

-Chris Jericho is backstage making his way to the ring. The main event is next!

(Commercial)

-Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring. Before his match, he wants to address his comments about Punk from Raw. He says that he has received thousands of tweets and emails demanding that he apologize. He says that many have accused him of going over the line, but that is not possible when telling the truth. He says that Punk is a fraud and a scared little boy who is the product of an alcoholic father. The alcoholic genes of his father runs through his veins and by putting a little “X” on his hands doesn’t make him straight edge. Jericho says that he figured out C.M. Punk and that every time he drops a so-called pipe bomb on an opponent he really wishes he were saying it to his father. When he is being sarcastic and the crowd chants his name, it allows him to forget about his father and his upbringing. Punk claims to be the best in the world, but he is just a Chris Jericho wannabe and a Jeri-clone.

Chris says that he will beat Punk at WrestleMania and he will do it on the grandest stage of them all and he will walk out as WWE champion! He says that after he beats Punk, he will go to the after-party and make a nice, stiff drink for himself and he will toast C.M. Punk and his pathetic father! He tells the crowd that they should chant Punk's name tonight because it will be one of the last times they will be able to. The crowd follows his suggestion and Jericho chants C.M. Drunk over them and then drops the microphone after saying “pipe bomb.”

(Commercial)

6 - CHRIS JERICHO vs. SHEAMUS

Collar and elbow tie-up to start and Sheamus overpowers Jericho. Jericho with a kick to the midsection to get the advantage, but he runs into a back elbow from Sheamus. Sheamus threatens a clothesline, but Jericho puts on the brakes and escapes to the outside. Sheamus chases after Jericho, who rolls back into the ring, but he ends up running into a catapult shoulder block from Sheamus that gets a two count.

Sheamus backs Jericho into the corner, Jericho reverses, and whips Sheamus into the far corner. Jericho follows with a splash, but Sheamus ducks and Y2J goes flying outside the ring. Sheamus pulls Jericho up to the apron and ties him up in the ropes and pounds way on his chest ten times. Booker calls that Musical Chairs. I hope that doesn’t catch on! Standing suplex by Sheamus gets a two count. Sheamus then tries clotheslining Jericho to the outside, but Jericho ducks and sends Sheamus out of the ring. Baseball slide from Jericho as Daniel Bryan and A.J. make their way to the ring as Smackdown takes a break!

(Commercial)

Jericho catapults Sheamus into the bottom rope when Smackdown returns. Jericho chokes Sheamus with his boot in the corner and then puts Sheamus in a reverse chokehold. Sheamus fights out, but runs into a knee from Jericho. Bryan and A.J. have a seat at ringside and are watching the action. Back suplex by Chris gets a two count. Jericho then dropkicks Sheamus in the face when he tries getting up. Rear chinlock by Jericho as the crowd has dueling chants of “Y2J” and “Y2J Sucks.” Sheamus powers out of the hold, backing Jericho into the corner. Jericho goes for a bulldog, but Sheamus launches him into the far turnbuckle. Both men are slow to their feet. Jericho is up first, but he runs into an Irish Hammer from Sheamus. Irish Curse backbreaker by Sheamus gets a two count. Sheamus goes for his new finisher and connects, but Jericho kicks out.

Jericho thumbs Sheamus in the eyes and tries the Codebreaker, but Sheamus blocks it. Both men are slow to their feet again. Sheamus gets up first and goes to the top rope for his flying shoulder block, but Jericho trips up Sheamus and goes to the top to slug it out with him. Sheamus knocks Jericho to the mat and hits him with the battering ram for a two count. Jericho reverses a Celtic Cross into the Walls of Jericho, and Sheamus makes it to the ropes and Jericho can’t believe it. Another Celtic Cross attempt gets reversed and Sheamus clotheslines Jericho to the outside in front of Bryan.

Leading to the finish, Sheamus whips Jericho into Bryan. Sheamus rolls Jericho into the ring, but Jericho shoves Sheamus off the apron into the announce table. The ref turns his back to tell Jericho to get in the middle of the ring and that allows Bryan to kick Sheamus in the head to knock him out. He ends up getting counted out.

WINNER: Chris Jericho by count-out in 15:00.

-Post-match Sheamus chases Bryan up to the stage. Sheamus then nails Jericho with a Brogue Kick while Jericho was celebrating. That was uncalled for! End Show.

Thanks for reading, please follow me on Twitter @MJCupach as I Tweet live during Raw and WWE PPVs!


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