PPV REPORTS KELLER'S ECW DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER REPORT 12/3: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage
Dec 3, 2006 - 9:24:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
ECW DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER PPV
DECEMBER 3, 2006
-Joey Styles and Tazz introduced the show.
-They showed the Extreme Elimination Chamber hanging above the ring.
1 -- MNM (Mercury & Nitro w/Melina) vs. MATT & JEFF HARDY
After several minutes of basic action, they went to a series of dives outside the ring. From there, they went to a sustained beatdown of Jeff. At 18:00 Jeff hot-tagged Matt who worked over both members of MNM in rapid-fire fashion leading to a two count on Nitro. Jeff tagged back in a minute later. Nitro interjected himself on a top rope move attempt by Jeff on Mercury in the corner and went into a strange flip sequence leading to a two count. Four-way action resulted with stereo superplexes by the Hardys from opposite corners. The crowd was pretty quiet, though, as the match seemed to drag a bit, as they seemed to be just filling time. Jeff scored a near fall after schoolboying Nitro after Nitro mistakenly dropkicked her in the head off the ring apron. Melina took a nasty bump to the floor. Mercury returned to the ring and MNM hit Jeff with a Snapshot for a near fall. MNM set up an apparent top rope Snapshot on Jeff, but Matt returned to the ring and gave MNM each simultaneous neckbreakers off the top rope. Jeff then hit MNM, as they were stacked on top of each other, with a Swanton Bomb for the win.
WINNERS: Jeff & Matt Hardy in 23:00.
STAR RATING: *** -- Some stretches were better than others, and it lost some momentum about half way through, and some of the double-team moves took too long to set up, but overall a good to very good tag match.
2 -- BALLS MAHONEY vs. MATT STRIKER
Striker listed his rules for the match. In the first few minutes of the match, they built slowly and deliberately. Striker at times seemed to just stop and think about what he wanted to do next. Thousands (or hundreds, depending on how many people bought this thing) of fans across the world asked the person next to them, "How long is this pay-per-view? Two hours, right?" Balls came back at 5:00 with a series of punches which the crowd didn't shout along to with much enthusiasm, then finished him off with a sidewalk slam.
WINNER: Balls in 5:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2*
-A commercial aired for the Brian Pillman DVD.
-They showed the Extreme Elimination Chamber hanging above the ring again.
-They showed C.M. Punk warming up.
-They cut elsewhere backstage to Sabu being tended to by paramedics. He was KO'd as he was strapped to a stretcher. Paul Heyman looked on concerned. The crowd chanted "Bullsh--! Bullsh--!" It wasn't aimed "at the heel who beat up Sabu," but rather at Vince McMahon for booking Sabu out of the main event, leaving very little that feels like authentic ECW. Tazz and Styles wondered what happened, but offered no insight.
3 -- THE FBI (Little Guido & Tony Mamaluke w/Trinity) vs. ELIJAH BURKE & SYLVESTER TERKAY
Before the match, Elijah did mic work. He said they were about to see the Elijah Experience. "We have not only arrived, but like a wild animal in heat, we will leave our mark." The crowd chanted "Where's our pizza?" That's right up there with "What?" and "I've got two words for ya'" for being dated and played out. Burke tossed Guido onto a Mamaluke at ringside at 3:00, easily overpowering them early in the match. The FBI made a brief comeback at 4:00, but Burke gave Mamaluke out of nowhere with his Stroke-like Elijah Experience finisher for the three count. Terkay then gave Guido his finisher after the bell.
WINNERS: Burke & Terkay in 6:00.
STAR RATING: * -- There was an audible "TNA" chant during the match. WWE's ECW shouldn't leave fans any chance to do that, but this event has been booked so WWE-like, but with C-level talent and unadvertised matches, that there's been plenty of chances.
-Backstage, Sabu was being rolled into an ambulance on a stretcher as RVD and Punk wished him well. Considering he was destroyed by Umaga, I'm surprised any ECW fan would care he was out of the match since it was made clear he's not considered a main event level guy by McMahon.
-A commercial aired for Raw plugging the return of DX.
4 -- DAIVARI (w/Great Khali) vs. TOMMY DREAMER
The dozens of ECW faithful began a "F--- him up, Tommy, f--- him up" chant early. Tazz and Styles continued to wonder what the fallout would be of Sabu being knocked out of the main event. When Dreamer ran into the ropes, Khali yanked the top rope down. Dreamer spilled to the floor. The ref ordered Khali to the back. As Daivari settled into a chinlock, the crowd chanted, "We want hardcore." Good for them. This PPV is not delivering what the majority of fans probably expected. It feels like a bland WWE house show, nothing close to the energy level of the first two ECW One Night Stand events. It's just amazing that this is considered "smart for business." Dreamer hung Daivari upside down in the corner, then gave him a running dropkick. Daivari won with handful of tights out of nowhere right after that sequence. After the match, Dreamer chased Daivari to the back. Khali dragged Dreamer back onto the stage and slammed him onto the metal grating. Dreamer didn't move afterward, and the announcers went into their low-volume "this is serious" voices. Dreamer eventually crawled away.
WINNER: Daivari in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2*
-Paul Heyman approached Hardcore Holly backstage. He said, as usual, he had to do what was best for ECW. He said therefore he was putting Holly in the main event as Sabu's replacement. Holly smiled.
5 -- KEVIN THORN & ARIEL vs. MIKE KNOX & KELLY KELLY
Styles said that Thorn and Ariel frequent bite clubs all over the world. Tazz said at times he goes to them, too. At 5:00 the women tagged in and kinda wrestled for a minute. Ariel wouldn't let Kelly tag out at first, but when Kelly finally got within reach of Knox, he backed off and walked away. Some fans applauded Knox walking away, sympathizing with him since Kelly has clearly been flirting with other men. Ariel slammed Kelly to the mat for the win.
WINNERS: Thorn & Ariel in 6:00.
STAR RATING: DUD -- Styles said the match "mercifully ended" which is always code for the announcer empathizing with the fans.
-Afterward, Sandman came out through the crowd and caned Thorn all the way up the ramp and to the back.
-They went to a prerecorded plug by Michael Cole plugging WWE Armageddon. He talked up Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy in a Last Ride match, Kane vs. MVP in an Inferno Match, and Batista & John Cena vs. King Booker & Finlay. They had to mute the crowd as there were signs of early booing of Cole. Who is less of a fit on an ECW show other than Cole?
-Rebecca interviewed Bobby Lashley. She read her memorized lines, introducing a clip of Lashley vs. Show on last week's ECW show. Lashley then spoke briefly.
-They showed Big Show backstage, followed closely by Test, Heyman, and Holly.
-They went to a video package on the Extreme Elimination Chamber.
-Heyman and his enforcers stood in the ring under the Chamber. He said it will be the main event of the evening. He didn't have any bravado in his demeanor about the show so far. Someone shouted, "You suck, Paul." Heyman said Hulkamania dies when Hulk Hogan dies, and the Whoos will die after Ric Flair dies, "but long after my death, ECW will live on." Tazz said, "Maybe we should put that to the test." That's the line of the night. Harsh. But the line of the night. Heyman said it would have been nice if Sabu were in the match, but added, "Let's be honest, the day of Sabu and Sandman and Rob Van Dam has come to an end." He said if we fast-forward to 2006, Big Show is leading the new era of ECW. Heyman said this match would be the crowning achievement of Show's career. He called for the lowering of the EEC.
6 -- EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER: BIG SHOW vs. HARDCORE HOLLY vs. ROB VAN DAM vs. BOBBY LASHLEY vs. C.M. PUNK vs. TEST -- ECW World Hvt. Title match
Ring intros took ten minutes. The match still began at 9:51 p.m. RVD and Holly started the match. Holly got the better of RVD early. He threw him out of the ring. When he threw him into the cage, RVD gripped it like Spiderman. After five minutes of Holly on offense, Punk was let out. It might be the first time in history that a high profile progressive entrance match of this type included the advantage going toward the babyfaces. Since it's not a team situation, though, it's the time to do it. Punk flew out of his pod and gave RVD a flying dropkick. RVD returned fire with a Van Daminator and a monkey flip. Punk ducked an RVD wheel kick and then legdropped his face into a chair on the mat. Punk and RVD took turns beating on each other as Holly rested. Punk threw RVD head-first through a chair. RVD was bleeding already. Holly then swept in with a cover on Punk as Heyman cheered him on.
The crowd chanted "C.M. Punk" as Holly worked over Punk, scoring several two counts. Test was the next out, and he had a crow bar with him as a weapon. He went right after RVD's forehead with it. RVD came back with chairshots to everyone, then hit Punk with the Five-Star Frogsplash to eliminate him. That gave the heels the advantage, except Test showed it was every man for himself when he surprised Holly with a big boot. He went for a pin, but only got two. Or so it appeared. The ref rolled Holly out of the ring, indicating he was eliminated, even though Tazz and Styles both noted that it was only a two count. The ref also stopped half way before hitting the mat, giving the impression it was less than three. Holly didn't return, though, so that was a messed up pin sequence.
RVD then surprised Test with a top rope sidekick. RVD climbed to the top of the pod that Show was in. He gave Show the finger. Show reached up and grabbed his foot. Test then climbed to the top rope and smashed RVD across the leg and then the head. Test threw RVD to the mat, set a chair on his face, and then went to the top of the pod. He flew off with an elbow onto the chair on RVD's face for the pin at 14:00.
That put Lashley in position to be cheered since he was the only babyface left. Had they left RVD or Punk in the match, Lashley might have gotten a mixed response. Lashley was the next one to legally be allowed to enter, but Heyman had his guards throw the ref down before he could unlock the door. Lashley used the table in his pod to break the chain roof, then he climbed the table and crawled out through the top. Lashley then went to work on Test, throwing him into the plexyglass walls of the pods. Lashley speared Test at 23:00 and scored the pin. That left just Lashley and Big Show, but Show had a full minute before his pod would open. Lashley brought his table into the ring. Heyman gave Show a pep talk.
After the fans counted down the final ten seconds, Show entered with a barbed wire baseball bat. Show got the bat, but then it got stuck in the side of the chamber. Lashley hit Show with a chair, and then threw Show through the wall and into a pod. Show bled from the forehead. Show threw a fit and broke through the pod wall. Heyman shouted, "Fight for survival!" Show tossed Lashley into the ring and flattened him with a clothesline. Show went for a chokeslam, but Lashley countered with a DDT. They cut to a concerned Heyman at ringside. Lashley then hit his spear and scored a relatively sudden pin on Show to win the title.
WINNER: Lashley to become ECW World Hvt. Champion at 25:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- The match ended at 10:16. The event was such a letdown overall, that it really dampened the mood and thus the occasion of Lashley winning the title. They went off the air with Lashley celebrating as pyro shot off.
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this event for a "PPV Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on the PPV, click here.
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