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CALDWELL'S ONE NIGHT STAND REPORT 6/3: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV

Jun 3, 2007 - 9:45:00 PM

By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

June 3, 2007
Jacksonville, Florida
By: James Caldwell, Torch columnist

Tonight, the only rules are Extreme Rules. They recapped the top feuds on the PPV, then went live to the arena for a big pyro show and crowd shots. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler opened the show before kicking it to Joey Styles and Tazz, who talked about Vince vs. Lashley. Michael Cole and JBL pulled up the rear discussing Edge vs. Batista.

Randy Orton came out first for the stretcher match and we got a glimpse of the entrance set, which looks like the WWE Hardcore title belt design extrapolated over several yards of fencing. They went to the same video package on Orton's destruction of HBK and RVD. RVD then slowly walked out and passed the finish line.

1 -- RANDY ORTON vs. ROB VAN DAM -- Stretcher match

RVD and Orton went nose-to-nose after the bell sounded, then RVD did the thumbs-to-the-shoulder pose, but kicked Orton straight in the face on "Dam". Orton then slumped down as if he had a concussion. RVD followed up with ten punches in the corner, working on Orton's cranium. Ross said Orton's long past due a trip to the woodshed. RVD then dropped a leg across Orton's neck while Orton kept checking his head to see if he was still in one piece. RVD continued to nail Orton right in the face with kicks and punches, but Orton blocked a kick and landed a forearm to the face. RVD, who wasn't selling the concussion angle to this point, suddenly collapsed to the mat and had the faraway look in his eyes. Orton tried to capitalize with the RKO, but RVD landed another kick to the face. RVD then tried to hop up top for Five Star, but he fell right off the top rope and crashed to the floor. Orton slowly picked up RVD on the outside and rolled him into the ring before landing a high dropkick. Orton followed with the Orton Stomp to the head, methodically working on the forehead. He then picked up RVD with a side grip and landed a suplex slam. On the outside, RVD suddenly picked up a burst of energy and rammed Orton hard into the ring steps. The ref checked on RVD's condition, then RVD picked up Orton and placed him face-first on the stretcher. He then went to the apron and tried to balance himself for a highspot before hitting a windmill kick to Orton's back. Orton fell off the stretcher, while RVD crashed to the floor. Lawler questioned why RVD didn't just push Orton across the finish line to win the match.

At 11:00, RVD took Orton back into the ring and built up a head of steam for a round of clotheslines. Orton suddenly countered with a hard powerslam to counter Rolling Thunder. Great counter. Orton took RVD to the ropes and tried to suplex him onto the stretcher, but RVD blocked and drop kicked Orton off the apron to the floor. RVD then placed Orton on the stretcher again, and went back into the ring. He went for a somersault flip dive onto Orton, but Orton moved off the stretcher and RVD crashed hard onto the stretcher. Sick spot. Orton then picked up RVD like a small child and placed him onto the stretcher. He began rolling RVD down the aisle toward the finish line, but RVD showed life a few feet from the line. RVD then kicked Orton in the face and Orton collapsed on the stretcher. He then pushed Orton the final ten feet across the finish line to win the match. Well, isn't that a shocker.

But, wait, there's more. Orton got up off the stretcher and jumped RVD from behind as he did the Rob-Van-Dam salute. He then gave RVD a kick to the face and RVD fell over the guardrail right into the lap of a fan. The fan pushed him to the floor in self-defense, then Orton hopped the guardrail and stared down at RVD, who wasn't moving. Ross and Lawler went into serious mode about RVD's health, then Orton pulled RVD across the guardrail and gave him a spike DDT head-first onto the floor. Trainers then flocked to ringside and a second stretcher entered the picture. RVD was placed in a neckbrace, then rolled onto a backboard. They replayed the highpoints of the match, then we saw RVD being stretchered from ringside.

WINNER: RVD in 15:00. A surprise match finish, but the end result was what we all expected for RVD. A good match with plenty of action and an easy storyline to follow. (**1/2)

Backstage, Vince McMahon talked to Shane McMahon about his match with Lashley. Vince said tonight, they end Lashley. He then told Shane to come in close as he told him that he has a bad feeling about what's going to happen tonight. Shane asked if Vince was serious. Vince said the bad feeling isn't about the match tonight, though. Shane said it's probably just something Vince ate. Shane left after telling him not to worry about the match, then Vince continued to ponder his pain.

Six-man tables match up next. First man through a table loses the match for his team. The Sandman made his entrance through the crowd as if he were on The Price is Right, then Tommy Dreamer came out followed by C.M. Punk. Burke and Cor Von led out the New Breed, with Striker bringing up the rear.


Cor Von and Dreamer started things off and went to a standoff. Striker then distracted Dreamer, allowing Cor Von to punch Dreamer in the back and begin the heel attack. Burke came in and lost control, then Sandman tagged in and dropped Striker with a hip toss. Punk took a tag and landed a high knee lift on Striker before landing a running bulldog. The action broke down and Punk hit Cor Von with a suicide dive on the floor, but he came up holding his left shoulder. He shook that off, though, and hit a springboard clothesline onto Burke in the ring. Sandman, bleeding from the forehead, then chased Striker to the floor with a cane. Sandman and Dreamer tried to send Striker through a table on the floor, but Burke moved the table out of the way just in time. The heels went back on the advantage and Striker slid a table into the ring before setting it up against the corner turnbuckles. Dreamer then saved Punk from taking a running slam through the table, and the ECW Originals went back on the attack. The action broke down before Cor Von dropped Punk with the Alphabomb. He then re-set the table in the corner and placed Punk flat on his back on the hardwood. He then went up top for a Vader bomb, but Sandman caned Cor Von off the top rope. Back in center ring, Dreamer dropped Burke with a piledriver and placed him on the table. Punk then superplexed Striker off the top rope through Burke and the table, giving the Originals the win. Nice spot. The Originals celebrated the victory by taking a victory lap around ringside before posing on the stage.

WINNERS: Punk & Dreamer & Sandman in 8:00. Nice match. Definitely a brawl, but it was kept in control and there was space in between each highspot so it didn't all run together. Nice finishing spot. (**)

Backstage, Randy Orton talked to Edge. He said his two former partners - Batista from Evolution and Edge from Raw - are battling it out tonight. Edge wanted to know what Orton's agenda is. Orton said he doesn't care who wins tonight because all that matters is that he's taking people out and he's gunning for the World Hvt. Title if he gets traded to Smackdown. Edge said that if Orton does make it to Smackdown, he would wind up just like Batista later tonight. Edge then left ringside.

Ringside, Ross and Lawler gave us an update that RVD has sustained another concussion and he's been taken to the hospital.

The Hardys came out for the tag title ladder match, surveying the ladders ringside. Haas and Benjamin then followed out talking smack.

3 -- MATT & JEFF HARDY vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHARLIE HAAS -- World Tag Title match -- ladder match

The Hardys, well-tanned, took control to start things off. I don't remember ever seeing Jeff as big in his upper body as he is tonight. Suddenly, they had a four-man stand off with all four men holding ladders. Hardys made the first move and dropped their ladders before dropkicking Haas and Benjamin's ladders into them. Matt then set up a ladder sandwich on Haas before ramming Shelton into the stack of ladders. Jeff followed by flying off Matt's back and leg whipping the ladders and Haas & Benjamin. He then started climbing a ladder, but Haas pulled him off the ladder to the mat. Haas and Benjamin started working on the Hardys, but Matt cut off Haas and dropped him with the electric chair from a ladder. The Hardys both climbed a ladder and got fingertips on the belts, but Benjamin threw a separate ladder into the Hardys, knocking them to the mat. This is all in the first four minutes with enough action to fit a 15-minute match.

At 7:00, the Hardys double clotheslined Shelton over the top rope to the floor. They retrieved the big momma ladders from ringside and set up one of the ladders across the edge of the ring and guardrail. They slammed Haas across the edge of the ladder before Matt flipped Shelton over the top rope onto the ladder and Shelton crashed wicked hard onto the ladder. Jeff then went up top for a potential splash onto Shelton, but Haas cut him off. Haas then went for an overhead suplex from the top rope and nearly slipped off the top to crack both men's necks. Back in the ring, Matt started climbing a ladder for the belts, but Haas pulled his foot and shoved him off the ladder across the top rope. On the outside, Haas struggled to set up some sort of ladder spot, so he simply placed Matt on a 90 degree angle against one ladder. In the ring, Shelton climbed a ladder and flew to the outside with a big splash onto Matt's back, sending Matt crashing to the floor. Yeoch. Back in the ring, Haas started climbing a ladder, but Jeff cut him off. He then superplexed Haas off the top of the ladder hard into the mat. Haas writhed in pain on the mat and Lawler said that's an example of a grown men crying. Ross said these type of matches shorten careers. "Why do they do it?" Lawler asked. Ross said they're not Team Extreme because it makes for a nice t-shirt.

At 14:00, Jeff started climbing, but Shelton kicked the ladder and Jeff fell off the ladder across the top rope. Shelton started to climb the ladder, but Matt cut him off. Matt then set up two ladders in center ring. He climbed one ladder and got his hands on the belt, but Shelton cut him off. Jeff came to in the background, as did Haas. We have a four-man spot on top of the ladders at 16:00, with Shelton and Haas getting the worst of it. Jeff then hit the Swanton Bomb on Haas and Matt climbed the ladder to retrieve both belts to win the match and retain the belts. Ross said the Hardys have to be considered one of the greatest tag teams in history.

WINNERS: Hardys in 17:00. Well, two ways to look at this. Tons of actions and spots and people falling and crashing and burning. Very exciting. Hardys continue to just have great matches, no matter the circumstances or opponents. At the same time, though, this is exactly why wrestlers are dropping like flies with injuries because of wrestlers taking too many risks in the ring. (***1/2)

They aired a DX DVD promo before Great Khali stood by backstage with Translator Guy. Khali cut a promo in his language, then TG told us that Khali pinned Cena last night, and he would pin Cena again tonight. TG said Khali is winning the belt and returning to his home country for a huge celebration.

Time for the lumberjack match. Chris Benoit came out to the PPV jobber theme music. Val Venis, Santino Marella (without IC Title), Balls Mahoney, Stevie Richards, The Miz, Kevin Thorn, Chris Masters, Johnny Nitro, Chavo Guerrero (without CW Title), Kenny Dykstra (w/ridiculous animal wrap), and Carlito rounded out the list of lumberjacks.

4 -- KANE vs. MARK HENRY -- lumberjack match

Henry was the first one to be knocked out on the floor, and he intimidated the lumberjacks into allowing him back into the ring. Henry went on the offensive back in the ring, landing forearm blows to the back. Kane then ran into a powerslam and Henry made a cover for a nearfall. At 4:00, Kane tried to grip Henry for a chokeslam, but he collapsed to the mat holding his back in pain. "Henry sucks" was the chant from the crowd. Henry then synched in a bearhug center ring. The babyface jacks tried to rally the crowd, with Venis going nuts like a classic babyface jobber. Kane tried to break the hold by choking Henry, but Henry collapsed to the mat and took Kane down with him. Kane suddenly shoved Henry through the ropes and the heel jacks picked up Henry. Kane then went up top and splashed Henry and the heel jacks. Back in the ring, Kane landed a top rope clothesline and teased the chokeslam. He executed the chokeslam this time, but then the heel jacks entered the ring and jumped Kane. Kenny Dykstra took a one-hand chokeslam for good measure, but the distraction allowed Henry to reapply the bearhug. JBL said the match is over, and for the first time in recorded history, an announcer calling the match over actually resulted in a finish, as the referee called for the bell when Kane was unresponsive.

WINNER: Henry in 10:00. A tainted victory for Henry to keep the feud going. The lumberjacks didn't create much movement to distract from the slow match in the ring, which seemed to be their only job on the night. (*1/2)

Backstage, Haas and Shelton were being tended to by a trainer. On the other side of the training room, the Hardys were getting treatment. Both team started arguing because Haas and Benjamin didn't like having to wrestle in a gimmick match when they're used to wrestling matches. Suddenly, a right hand was thrown and a second fight between the two teams broke out. Someone was grunting hard while officials broke up the fight.

Ringside, Styles and Tazz talked about the McMahon vs. Lashley match for the ECW Title. We saw the video package on their feud for the 1,001 time. Vince then came out with Shane and Umaga. Lashley followed out and breathed the smoke from the pyro through his nostrils ala Goldberg.

5 -- VINCE MCMAHON (w/Shane McMahon and Umaga) vs. BOBBY LASHLEY -- ECW Title match -- Street fight

The bell sounded and Lashley flew over the top rope with an attempted big splash onto Umaga, but he caught his boot on the top rope and didn't quite catch Umaga as he wanted. Lashley seemed to injure himself, so Shane picked up the scraps and landed forearm blows before rolling him back into the ring. Lashley then press slammed Shane over the top rope onto Umaga, but he couldn't get his right arm all the way up. Vince was left in the ring to take a pounding from Lashley. Shane tried to use a chair, but Lashley kicked the chair away. He measured Vince for a running powerslam onto the chair, but Umaga cut him off with a Spike to the throat. Shane then DDT'ed Lashley onto the face of the chair. The heels began working on Lashley, which begged the question of why they don't just call this a three-on-one handicap match re-run. At 3:00, Vince got in his licks before awkwardly kicking Lashley in the gut. On the outside, the heels worked on Lashley and tried to KO him, but Vince only scored a nearfall back in the ring. Vince then speared Lashley while Shane and Umaga held him up, but it was good for a nearfall only. Vince then choked Lashley around the throat. Shane and Vince then stretched out Lashley for Umaga to hit a big splash, but Lashley broke free and pulled Vince in the line of fire to take a huge splash from Umaga. Lashley then made the huge comeback and dumped Shane and Umaga to the floor. Lashley then picked up a chair and cleaned Vince's clock. "That’s a receipt!" Styles screamed. Lashley followed by slamming Vince repeatedly with the chair, with Styles describing what each chair shot was for. He then picked up Lashley and hoisted him up in the air for the Dominator. He had the pin, but Umaga pulled Lashley out of the ring to stop a three count. Lashley then took a thrust kick to the throat from Umaga. With Vince KO'ed in the ring, Umaga landed a big splash on the floor before clearing the ECW announce table. Umaga placed Lashley on the table while Shane climbed up top. He then came off the top with a traditional flying elbow smash, taking himself and Lashley through the table to the floor. Umaga then rolled Lashley into the ring and told Vince to make the cover, but Lashley kicked out just before three.

At 11:00, Umaga entered the ring and landed right hand blows on Lashley. He then built up a head of steam for the charging rear splash and Lashley couldn't get out of the way of the big caboose coming down the tracks. Shane set up his favorite spot by placing a trashcan next to Lashley's head, then he went to the opposite corner for the coast-to-cast, but Lashley moved and Shane dropkicked the can into the bottom turnbuckle. Lashley then measured Shane and gave him a big spear. He followed with a spear on Vince and made the cover to win the ECW Title. After the match, they tried to replay the high points, but cut back to live action when Lashley suddenly speared Vince again.

WINNER: Lashley in 13:00 to capture the ECW Title. They used enough tricks in their bag to prevent any slow points in the match, all building toward the two big moments of Lashley bashing Vince's head in and scoring the pin to capture the ECW Title. (**1/4)

They plugged the Vengeance PPV where every title belt will be on the line.

Backstage, Santino was sweetalking Maria. Todd Grisham cockblocked and asked Maria about the pudding match up next. Maria said she loves pudding. Grisham asked Maria for her insight on the pudding factor. Maria broke down the temperature, ability to navigate the pudding, etc. as factors that will play into who wins the match. Candice Michelle then interrupted and asked for a kiss for good luck. She meant Santino, but Maria kissed Candice on the lips. Candice thanked Maria, then walked off. "I love America," Santino said. He walked off. Ron Simmons then walked into the shot and stood next to Maria before saying, "Damn!"

Candice Michelle came out for the pudding match and went over to the pudding ring. Melina came out in a bikini and goggles. She checked to make sure everything was in place, then placed the goggles on.

6 -- CANDICE MICHELLE vs. MELINA -- non-title pudding match

Candice dumped Melina into the pudding to start the match, then they brawled to the area outside of the pudding. Candice then speared Melina back into the pool of pudding before they spilled outside of the pool again. Candice then covered Melina on the floor, but Melina kicked out. Back in the pool, Melina applied a headlock, but Candice shoved her away. She then executed a DDT. Candice tried to drown Melina by dumping her face into the pudding, so Melina eventually tapped the pudding, giving Candice the win. Afterward, Maria walked out and interviewed Candice, but Melina threw a fit. Maria then splashed Melina in the pool. They started brawling before they pulled the ref into the ring. Melina escaped, then fell down on the floor. Candice and Maria shared a post-match hug in the pudding.

WINNER: Candice via submission in 3:00. This got old real quick. (n/a)

The cage was lowered to the ring, then we saw a video package on Edge vs. Batista.

7 -- EDGE vs. BATISTA -- World Hvt. Title match -- cage match

Edge tried to escape the cage five seconds into the match, but Batista pulled him back into the ring. Edge tried to climb out of the cage, but Batista pulled him back in again. Batista then went on the offensive, working on Edge's back. Batista tried to climb the cage to escape, but Edge took advantage of the mistake by crotching Batista across the top rope before spearing him into the cage. Edge tried to escape through the door, but Batista pulled him back in. Edge then pulled off a top turnbuckle pad and tried to throw Batista into the exposed steel, but Batista blocked. Both men then collapsed to the mat following a mid-ring collision. They fought in the corner, then Batista went for a top rope dive, but Edge met him with a dropkick to the face. Edge then set up for a spear, but Batista charged him and they collided in center ring again. Batista seemed to injure his right arm, as he tried to shake some life into the arm. After a recovery period for both men, Batista speared Edge into the cage and landed a clothesline for a nearfall. Batista then slingshot Edge into the side of the cage and had a pin, but it was good for a two count only.

At 12:00, Edge recovered to his feet with his busted lip on full display. He then side stepped Batista and landed a spear, but it was good for a two count only. Edge pulled himself up in the corner, then started climbing the cage, but Batista picked him up and dropped him with a spinebuster. Batista then tried to give Edge the Batistabomb, but all we got was a shot of Edge's thong, and Edge grabbed the cage wall while up in the air. He tried to slip over the top of the cage, but Batista grabbed him and took a mule kick for good measure. Batista then slipped off the ropes and crotched himself across the top rope. Edge landed on the mat, then he started climbing again. Meanwhile, Batista crawled for the door. He got both hands on the floor, but Edge dropped from the cage and landed on the floor before Batista could actually get both feet on the floor.

After the match, Batista covered his head with his hands. He then heard the announcement and ran after Edge on the other side of the ringside area. Edge bailed, though, and left through the crowd. Batista pounded the announce table, then stared at the title belt that Edge left behind. Batista grabbed the cage in frustration.

WINNER: Edge in 16:00 to retain the World Hvt. Title. Slow 10 minutes, but a very dramatic final five or six minutes. Batista keeps chasing the belt, and Edge picks up a credibility-boosting victory. Batista was either doing a heck of a sell job with the right arm or his arm was messed up on the double spear collision in center ring. (***)

They aired a brief Summerslam PPV video for August 26. Ross and Lawler talked from ringside about there being no need for more than one ONS PPV per year because of the brutal nature of the event. They cut to a video package on the Cena vs. Khali feud.

Khali walked out first with his translator. Ross said hurricane season has officially begun, then he asked if Cena is ready to weather the massive storm that is Khali. After a long pause, Cena's music hit and he came out for the superstar pop.

8 -- JOHN CENA vs. GREAT KHALI (w/Translator Guy) -- WWE Title match -- Falls Count Anywhere

Cena tried to chop down the tree with kicks to the back of the leg, but Khali knocked him down with a big headbutt. Khali then rammed Cena head-first into the corner turnbuckle before landing a back elbow smash. Cena tried to build a comeback, but the air surrounding Khali's leg knocked down Cena with a back leg whip. He tried to drop a leg, but Cena rolled out of the way. Cena then went up top, but Khali chopped him off the top rope to the floor next to the Smackdown announce table. Khali then placed a boot on Cena's chest on the floor, but Cena kicked out. Something happened where Cena ended up on the ring steps, but we couldn't see since the camera was too close to the action. Khali then smashed Cena's head into the TV monitor after clearing the announce table. Cena blocked a big chop, but Khali tossed him over the guardrail to the floor. Khali stepped over the guardrail, then landed a right hand blow. Cena fell down on the floor as he tried to crawl away from Khali, who threw him into the production set-up below the 100 level seats. Cena then rammed a monitor into Khali's face and went for the FU, but Khali blocked. They brawled toward the area below the stage, then Cena grabbed the roving camera and rammed it into Khali's forehead. He then lifted up Khali for the FU, but Khali landed an elbow to the chest to block the move. Khali then press slammed Cena onto the base of a crane vehicle. Oh dear. At 9:00, Khali climbed onto the crane, but Cena surprised him with the FU off the floor of the crane vehicle to the concrete floor below. Big crowd pop for the highspot they've been building up for two months. Cena then jumped off the crane and covered Khali on the floor for the win.

WINNER: Cena in 10:00 to retain the WWE Title. From the TNA main event formula of a walking brawl through the crowd and to the stage area. Match reminded me of the Cena vs. JBL "I Quit" match at Judgment Day 2005 with the props used near the stage. They built up to that FU for so long that it was a nice pay off for Cena fans. Could have used a few more minutes out of good faith to Cena and Khali, who both proved they could have a good match last month. (**1/2)

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "WWE PPV Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of To contribute your thoughts on the PPV, click here.

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