TV REPORTS 4/11 WWE Raw Report: Mallory's "Virtual Time" Alternative Perspective Coverage
Apr 11, 2005 - 10:05:00 PM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
WWE Raw "Virtual Time" Alternative Perspective Coverage
April 11, 2004
Live from Moline, Illinois
Aired on Spike TV
Report by Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
Ongoing Alternative Perspective Review of the Show
Raw was live tonight from The Mark of the Quad Cities in Moline, Illinois.
Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to the show as Trish Stratus and Molly Holly headed out for a tag team match.
(1) Victoria & Christy Hemme over Trish Stratus & Molly Holly. J.R. actually said Christy had come close to beating Trish at WrestleMania. (I guess it all depends on your definition of "close.") Lots of acrobatics in this match. Victoria tried her butt-shaking moonsault on Molly, then Christy tagged in with a medley of her move. Trish and Molly double-teamed Christy, who sold the devastating moves well. Victoria had Molly in position for the Widow's Peak, but a Chick Kick spoiled her plans. Trish was accidentally knocked off the apron, which distracted Molly long enough to be pinned by Christy.
Kane's music and pyro hit and he stalked down to the ring. He seemed to have a bone to pick with Trish because of what she'd done to Mrs. Kane last week. Trish took off running through the crowd with Kane hot on her heels.
J.R. mentioned Randy Orton's shoulder injury--allegedly inflicted by Batista. After the commercial, J.R. would have an update on Orton's condition.
J.R. cautioned viewers about the graphic nature of the upcoming footage. WWE's cameras had followed Randy Orton to HealthSouth in Birmingham, Alabama, to capture his shoulder surgery for posterity.
A gaggle of divas were talking to Stacey about the RKO Orton had given here and wishing that they could get a Batista Bomb from Big Dave. Suddenly, the door burst open and Trish ran in trying to escape Kane, who said he was going to get her.
Jonathan Coachman introduced Muhammad Hassan, a man who'd never been pinned. Hassan had this to say: Blah, blah, Shawn Michaels, blah, blah, get even, blah, blah, blah.
It was time to Play the Game. Triple H said that this was going to be Batista's big night--his first interview as World Champion. (A week late and a dollar short, so to speak.) Triple H told him to enjoy it, since the rematch had already been signed for Backlash. Batista might have been awesome at WrestleMania, but Triple H said Big Dave's eyes told him the one thing he should have already known. He'd seen fear of the Pedigree in Batista's eyes.
"Holy ass-kickings!" Triple H was confronted by Hurricane Helms, who commented on Triple H's mask last week--the crimson one. Helms wanted to get even for the beatings he and Rosey had taken recently from Triple H. The Hurricane was in fine form.
(2) Triple H beat Hurricane & Rosey. Triple H wasn't expecting a handicap match, but that's what he got. Triple H wanted to bring a steel chair into the ring as an equalizer, but the referee took it away.
Back from the break, and Triple H was holding his own. Head scissor take-down by Hurricane on Triple H, then a scoop slam by Rosey. Pay back's a bitch, as the saying goes. Hurricane with a near fall. Rosey found himself tangled up in the ropes, and Triple H took the opportunity to give Hurricane a Pedigree and pinned him for the win.
But Triple H wasn't through. He went over to Rosey, who was still hanging upside down from the ring ropes, and stomped on him. The ref tried to come to the rescue, but Triple H shoved him out of the way.
Triple H had a message for Batista. He would Pedigree the Champ before the evening was over. And to emphasize his point, he Pedigreed Rosey on the hard floor.
(Commercial break) "The Lance Krall Show" will debut after Raw next week. And this from a network that wants to dump wrestling for being too low brow. Go figure.
Highlights of the Australian tour were shown.
Batista was backstage with Chris Benoit, and the two were smiling and chatting.
(3) Chris Masters over Somebody In Blue Tights (Skyfire?). A puff piece on Masters aired before he started to take apart his anonymous opponent, toss him around like a rag doll, and submit him with the Master Lock. Loud "BORING" chant from the audience. Next week Masters will put his own money on the line and challenge anyone to break the Master Lock. I'm sick of this guy already.
Last week Shawn Michaels had taken a gratuitous beating from Hassan and Daivari. Michaels had demanded a match with Hassan.
(Commercial break) Good grief, there is going to be another Diva Search Contest. Well, I guess it will give Kamala something to do.
(4) Daivari pinned Shawn Michaels. As if Hassan hadn't said enough already, he came out with a microphone and seemed to be trying to weasel out of the match. It seems Hassan had convinced Eric Bischoff that Michaels should beat Daivari if he wanted to get his hands on Hassan tonight. Daivari showed talent that the audience was not expecting. Hassan kept interfering, so Michaels invited him into the ring...the hard way. With Hassan's help, a ref bump, and a low blow, Daivari pinned HBK. "Hell has frozen over," agreed J.R. and the King.
Backstage, HBK was in Bischoff's face, demanding a handicap match against Muhammad and Daivari. Bischoff said that at Backlash he could give him a tag team match. HBK did not want a partner; he wanted them both for himself. "No partner, no match," insisted Bischoff. "Booo," said the audience.
Chris Jericho came out for the Highlight Reel. Jericho said he'd been in a funk ever since he'd lost the Intercontinental Championship to Shelton Benjamin, and Jericho had something to say to Shelton who, coincidentally, was tonight's Highlight Reel guest.
Benjamin came out and Jericho said he wanted redemption. Benjamin played him a teeny crying violin and said he had no intention of losing the belt so that Jericho could redeem himself. Jericho was not impressed, since he'd been the IC Champ seven times. He'd made that championship, he said. Shelton said he could do things in the ring that no one else could do. Jericho asked if he could take the title belt and shove it? (In a less polite way, of course.) Benjamin countered with a Fozzy insult, and the fists started flying.
Smackdown Rebound: The Cena Era began on Smackdown.
Kane was still searching backstage for Trish. He ran into Lita, who was happy to see her hubby and the two locked lips in a passionate smooch.
"Sexy Boy" hit and Shawn Michaels came out to make an announcement. He said how much this country means to him and how proud he is of his father, his brother and his nephew for their military service. Michaels got down on his knees to ask someone special for a favor. Hulk Hogan was HBK's choice for a partner, and the crowd went nuts. (It sucks to be Hassan and Daivari right now.) "Just one more match," started HBK, and the crowd picked up the chant.
Edge and his brief case were walking around backstage.
Edge came out with a folding chair and his briefcase and joined J.R. and the King.
(5) Christian (w/Tyson Tomko) over Chris Benoit. Edge blabbed on and on with his "poor me" story as the match was virtually ignored. Edge said he'd been screwed. (I won't go there, but that was such an ironic thing for him to say tonight.) Benoit was in control of the match and at one point Christian was about to head over the guardrail and leave. Back and forth it went, and just as it was time for a commercial, Benoit and Edge locked eyes.
Returning from commercial, Christian was concentrating on Benoit's injured arm. Edge was still running off at the mouth and J.R. called him pathetic. Christian was so desperate to win, he was biting Benoit's hand. Benoit battled back, as J.R. noted that the fans had a lot of respect for Benoit, but had lost a lot of respect for Edge. (Double meaning?) Edge whined that Benoit had gotten all his opportunities when he was out with a broken neck. Benoit put Christian in a Sharpshooter and followed that up with a series of German suplexes. Nobody was home for Benoit's flying head butt. With distractions from Tomko and Edge, Christian with an Unprettier on Benoit for the pin and the win. Edge laughed as Benoit silently vowed revenge.
J.R. said that the first interview with Batista was coming up next. It's about time.
J.R. was in the ring and introduced the animal known as Batista. He got a huge pop from the crowd and some huge pyro to go with it. Batista had heard Triple H threaten a Pedigree, so he said he'd come out in his gear. J.R. asked if Batista was concerned about Triple H and Edge and the others gunning for him. Batista said he refused to be anyone's victim. He was the man, the predator and the top of the food chain. If anyone had any bright ideas about taking the championship belt, Batista said he'd chew them up, spit them out, and enjoy doing it. It was HIS jungle. And if Triple H saw fear in his eyes, it was probably just his own reflection. He cautioned Triple H about underestimating him, and said that would be Triple H's downfall. It was a good, effectively delivered promo.
Triple H's music hit and he hurried out to Pedigree Batista. Except Batista reversed it and back body-dropped Triple H over the ropes and onto the cold, hard floor instead.
J.R. held up Batista's hand in victory, as Triple H grabbed a mic and seemed to be calling out Batista for next week in Madison Square Garden. Batista was licking his chops, but then Triple H continued. It would be The Game vs. J.R.
It's all about the game and how you play it, but J.R. didn't look like he wanted to play.
Stay tuned following Raw for an encore presentation of "The Ultimate Fighter" finale. If you missed it Saturday night, now's your chance to see one of the most awesome UFC matches ever...and it ended with an amazing twist.
I love feedback and you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.
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