TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S IMPACT REPORT 4/1: Abyss nearly drowns Christian, seven minutes of wrestling
Apr 3, 2006 - 1:31:00 AM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
April 1, 2006
Taped March 28, 2006 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
- We began with Team Canada celebrating their destruction of Team 3D the previous week. Brother Ray and Devon attacked Canada. So much for selling last week's beatdown. They took Canada through the stands as Scott D'Amore could only watch. Devon rolled Eric Young into the ring. The fans chanted for tables. Devon hit the diving head butt between Eric's legs. They grabbed a table from under the ring. Ray went for a powerbomb on D'Amore near the table, but Roode clotheslined Ray. Canada's numbers advantage allowed them to beat down on Team 3D...again. Roode gave Devon a Northern Lariat. Eric hit a top rope elbow drop on Devon through the table. D'Amore draped a Canadian flag over Ray. D'Amore played up the so-five-years ago U.S.-Canada rivalry. He spit on Devon.
- After the intro, Don West screamed in Mike Tenay's ear that Sting would be on the show. He did it again. Then, he did it again. Then again. And one more time.
- Jeremy Borash was backstage with Jeff Jarrett and company. Jarrett said TNA management reinstated Sting. He said Sting might be able to dictate matches, but they would dictate the outcome. Scott Steiner he's going to hurt people. Next on Thunder...
- The Global Impact segment contained footage from the first TNA house show in Detroit.
1 -- AMERICA'S MOST WANTED (CHRIS HARRIS & JAMES STORM w/Gail Kim and Jackie Gayda) vs. KIP James & B.G. James -- NWA Tag Title match
Before AMW came to the ring, B.G. did his repetitive mic work. He said they were going to "climb Brokeback Mountain" to get the titles. At least he didn't say "mount". Capitalizing on the homophobia associated with wrestling, B.G. led the crowd in a chant of "Brokeback Mountain" at AMW. Gail forced Jackie on her knees then poured Storm's beer on her head. Storm grabbed the beer because he didn't want it wasted. Harris and Storm were caught in a compromising position in the corner. AMW took control at 1:10. The fans wanted a comeback at 1:30. Jackie slapped Harris near the ropes. B.G. took a hot tag and cleared the ring. Gail slapped Jackie across the face. Kip hit the Fameasser on Harris. Storm tried to break up a pin with the beer bottle, but the referee stopped him. Meanwhile, Konnan ran into the ring and hit Kip with the slapjack. Harris made the cover for the win. Afterwards, Bob Armstrong made threats to Konnan and AMW. Tenay said Bob and Konnan would have an arm wrestling contest next week.
WINNERS: AMW at 3:05 to retain the tag titles.
- We saw footage from James Mitchell and Alex Shelley stalking Christian Cage's wife from last week. Tenay said this week's footage is disturbing. Mitchell led Abyss to the ring. Tenay said Styles would face Abyss next week. Jeremy Borash stood in the center of the ring and asked Mitchell about the invasion of privacy. "Mission accomplished," Mitchell said. He said Christian ran off to do movies (instead of selling the PPV beat down) and did not remain in Orlando to defend the title or his wife. Mitchell said they are deadly serious about getting Christian's attention for an NWA Title match.
Mitchell introduced footage from Part 2 of their series on Christian's wife. Christian was taking out the trash when he spotted Mitchell and Shelley. He knocked over the camera then Abyss jumped him from behind. They fought through the front door to the living room. Christian slammed an empty water cooler bottle over Abyss. Abyss threw Christian across the TV area then took him outside to the pool. He threw Christian into the pool then dunked him under water several times. Mitchell told him not to drown him because he couldn't win the title from a dead man. Well, actually, he could have drowned him, TNA would have stripped the title, held a tournament, and Abyss could have won it that way. Abyss dragged Christian to the edge of the pool. Christian gasped for air. "To be continued...April 23?" the text on the screen read. Mitchell commended Alex Shelley for his directorial work. He told Christian that it would only get worse if they do not get Abyss's title shot. Shouldn't he just go to Larry "the match maker" Zbyszko and request the match?
2 -- SAMOA JOE vs. ALEX SHELLEY SONJAY DUTT vs. CHRIS SABIN -- #1 Contender's match to X Division Title
Christopher Daniels joined Tenay and West on commentary to discuss the match that makes no sense with Joe involved, considering he was taken out of the X Division two weeks ago. It's time to actually define the X Division or get rid of it all together. Joe ignored Shelley's high-five before the match. Shelley grabbed Dutt by the crotch off the ropes to put a halt to his offensive attack. Shelley went to tag in Joe, but Joe just stared at him. Shelley realized his error and switched to his non-crotch grabbing hand. Joe made the tag. Alex Shelley is the man. Great comedy spot. Sabin took offensive control over Joe. Too much selling from Joe. Dutt hit a head scissors on Joe.
Shelley tagged himself in and feigned kicking Joe, who wasn't pleased with the blind tag. Joe kicked Shelley square in the leg to a big pop. Did I mention Shelley is the man? Joe was a bit dazed on the ring apron. Daniels said he wanted Joe to win so he could break his unbeaten streak. Shelley and Dutt went back and forth on offense. Don West said the other three guys in the match - other than Joe - have been forgotten in the X Division and they are hungry for an opportunity. Dutt shoved Shelley off the top turnbuckle. Joe cleared Sabin out of the ring then hit the Muscle Buster on Dutt for the win. Afterwards, Joe went over to Daniels and jumped him. Daniels slapped him back. They had a pullapart brawl. Tenay said they would meet on April 13 when TNA moves to Thursday nights.
WINNER: Samoa Joe at 4:15. TNA should be pushing other guys into that third spot on the top of the X Division if Joe is going to be moved to the heavyweight division. Someone else needs to be in that April 13 match to show the X Division is more than just Joe, Daniels, and Styles. The pullapart was fine, but it was over too quickly.
- Jeremy Borash caught up with Jeff Jarrett and company walking through the backstage area. Jarrett said they were going to call out Sting.
- Jeff Jarrett and company came to the ring. I thought TNA was about less talk and more action. Jarrett told Sting that they should have their fight now. The lights out. Rhino was spotlighted at the top of the stands. From the opposite side of the arena, Ron Killings was with Shark Boy, Chase Stevens, and Norman Smiley. Killings did the "what's up?" gimmick over Jarrett's voice. From the top of the video screen, A.J. Styles playfully called out Jarrett. He was standing in front of Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, and Chris Sabin. Styles said he was going to have a war on his hands. The lights went out again. Sting - in full Sting attire - was behind Jarrett, Steiner, and AMW. He took out AMW with the baseball bat. He beat Jarrett over the back with the bat after the rest of Jarrett's army hit the ring. Babyfaces hit the ring to support Sting. The heels bailed. Sting pointed his bat at Jarrett. Tenay speculated who Sting would pick for his tag partners and said Sting would speak next week. Seven minutes and twenty seconds of wrestling this week. 17.5 percent of available TV time was wrestling inside the ring.
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.
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