TV REPORTS KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 8/25: Batista & Lashley vs. Regal & Finlay & Booker
Aug 27, 2006 - 2:22:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
AUGUST 25, 2006
-They opened with Summerslam highlights, then went cold to the ring with Booker T and Sharmell as Michaels Cole and JBL introduced the show. Booker T said he proved at Summerslam that Batista cannot beat him. Sharmell announced that Finlay and William Regal were bestowed the official titles of Royal Knights Extraordinaire. JBL reacted as if he just heard the most amazing good news ever. Booker pulled out a huge sword and knighted them Sir Finlay and Sir William Regal. A terribly boring segment, if only because of overkill of this type of thing with Booker et al over the past two months. It was like a bad YouTube skit filmed by a group of 12 year olds on a rainy day. Lashley livened things up by attacking Finlay out of nowhere. As the three heels attacked him, Batista ran to the ring and made the save. Batista cleared the ring. Teddy Long walked out and announced a three-way tag match later. What did the babyfaces do wrong to deserve being a man short?
1 -- MR. KENNEDY vs. MATT HARDY
Kennedy is becoming more and more the new Mr. Ass every week. Gregory Helms joined JBL and Cole on commentary. Cole brought up Jeff Hardy's return to Raw. Helms said in the tag team era for the Hardys, Jeff was the sizzle and Matt was the steak. Helms said Smackdown is where it's at with sports entertainment. Helms said he is underutilized and overworked. JBL asked why he hasn't been on a major PPV or defending the title every "Monday night, I mean Friday night." Helms said his championship has no competition. He said he's considering moving up a weight division. He pointed out his defeat over Tatanka. Cole said Tatanka was robbed and the ref blew the call. When Cole said it would be an upset if Hardy beat Kennedy, Helms disagreed. JBL said he's said all along that Matt Hardy is "a main event waiting to happen." At 4:00, Hardy dove over the top rope onto Kennedy at ringside. They cut to a break.
They showed Hardy missing with a moonsault during the break, so Kennedy was on offense. Kennedy whipped Hardy into the ringside steps. "Matt Hardy has too many extraneous things going on. He cares about his fans. He cares about his love life," said JBL. Kennedy worked over Hardy's left arm. Helms said he's a big fan of JBL and he used some of his tips to "turn a little of cheddar into a whole lot of cheese." He said he should give him a little percentage, but he won't. They continued a back and forth match with a good energy level. Hardy made a full comeback with a couple of strong kneelifts and a running boot to the face followed by a clothesline in the corner and a running bulldog for a near fall. Hardy hit a second rope elbow and set up a Twist of Fate. Kennedy shoved his way out of it and then went for a dropkick. Hardy avoided it, but Helms got up and dropped his neck over the top rope. Kennedy then finished Hardy with a quick neckbreaker. JBL noted that there is a rivalry between them because they grew up together.
WINNER: Kennedy in 15:00.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Good TV match. Helms and JBL were also solid interacting on commentary.
-Backstage, The Miz chatted with Ashley backstage about Layla winning the Diva Search. Miz said he should have been hosting the Divas Finale. Ashley asked Miz what a Mizfit is. He said a huge Miz fan as he made wild gestures and facial expressions and old movie references.
-The Miz introduced Layla. She ran out excitedly, kissing fans and slapping hands. Miz congratulated her for her win and said it must be a dream come true. He barely let her get a word in as he interrupted her answer and said he had huge news. JBL asked if he's happy with his haircut. He said next week would be the biggest debut in Smackdown history as he'd have his first match. "Hoorah!" he screamed. Layla applauded. JBL said: "I'd rather see Star Jones topless in my bedroom or a root canal with no novocaine or have something stuck up my butt than watch him wrestle." Cole said the point of that segment was to interview Layla. The question is: Will Miz be a heel or a face? Those few in the crowd who cared booed his announcement.
2 -- TATANKA vs. SYLVESTER TERKAY (w/Elijah Burke)
JBL said Tatanka needs to quit looking for excuses when he loses. Terkay brushed off an early flurry of Tatanka offense. JBL said everybody in the locker room is watching the monitor to try to figure out a solution to Terkay. He said twice that he beat someone in MMA in 13 seconds. Tatanka made a full comeback at 4:00 and came off the top rope with a flying axe handle which finally took Terkay to the mat. He saved himself from a pin with his foot on the rope. Tatanka complained to the ref, then turned around and met a met a roundhouse kick to the face.
WINNER: Terkay in 5:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
-A video recap aired of the Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero match at Summerslam. They showed Vickie Guerrero heading toward the entrance tunnel.
-The trailer for The Marine aired.
-Vickie walked out and said she loves hearing Eddie Guerrero's music and it always puts a smile on her face. She said it's the last time you'll hear the music because it's time for her to move on. She said at Summerslam she did some terrible things - slapping Chavo and hurting Rey by accident. She said before she goes, there are some things she has to do and say. She said she apologized for interrupting their matches and asked fans to please accept her apology. Some fans actually booed her. She said before she left, she wanted to apologize to the two most important men in her life. Rey Mysterio walked out. JBL called it the craziest relationship triangle and everyone thinks they're doing the right thing. He said it is insane. Vickie apologized for hurting him by accident and asked for forgiveness. They hugged. Vickie then called out Chavo. She asked for forgiveness from him. They hugged. The crowd heckled the segment. Very awkward. As Vickie and Rey turned to leave the ring, Chavo attacked Rey from behind. Vickie stood by and screamed. She stepped between them, then yanked a chair away from Chavo, then turned and swung and hit Rey - officially turning heel. Chavo gave Rey a brainbuster suplex on a chair. "What is going on?" asked Cole. Chavo and Vickie left him lying in the ring.
-A recap aired of the Vickie turn.
3 -- PAUL LONDON (w/Brian Kendrick) vs. K.C. JAMES (w/Idol Stevens, Michelle McCool)
When London climbed to the top rope, the Pitbulls ran out and shoved him off. All three teams ended up in a brawl. JBL said the Pitbulls are to the right of him politically.
WINNERS: No contest in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Too short and no finish didn't add up to much, but a good start. We still know nothing about these teams other than their names. Good post-match pullapart brawl.
-The MVP, Montavius Porter, headed to the ring with a woman on each arm. Cole begged him to sign a contract already and get past the negotiation stage. MVP sat in the front row.
-A Boogeyman vignette aired. JBL said Boogeyman has no business in WWE and wondered what his driver's license says.
4 -- KRISTAL vs. JILLIAN HALL
A pre-match inset interview featured Kristal doing a bit of trash-talking. An inset interview with Hall said, "We've had our problems in the past, and tonight I'm going to solve them." Kristal jumped Hall from behind to jump-start the match. Hall hit a cartwheel elbow for a two count. Hall hit a handspring elbow a minute later. She followed with a crossbody block, then stood up and shook her body. Hall lifted Kristal, but Kristal slipped out and sunset flipped her and with a yank on the tights scored a pin.
WINNER: Kristal in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- For a two minute WWE Title match, pretty good.
-A vignette aired with Jimmy Yang introducing himself as a Japanese Cowboy. "There ain't no yellow about me, but I've got a little red. That's right, I'm a redneck," he said. Then he let out a yee-haw! Ohh boy. I think a typo by an intern on a TV format sheet may have led to this by mistake.
5 -- VITO vs. SYLVAN
"Vito was in D.C. last week. I think he was the only thing in a skirt Clinton didn't hit on." Bill or Hillary? As Vito and Sylvan began, JBL said, "The amount of testosterone in the ring right now is infinitely small." Vito opened up with a flurry, causing Sylvan to bail to ringside. Vito followed him and punched him. JBL said there should be a standard for gear that is worn in the ring. Cole said Vito has been successful in hitting on women in bars. Sylvan came back and hit a top rope dropkick. Vito came back with a series of jabs, then he flashed the crowd by flapping his dress. He hit a series of clotheslines, then danced. He missed a splash in the corner, but avoided a Sylvan shoulder charge. He then finished Sylvan with his armbar finisher with his dress over his head. Sylvan tapped. JBL got through the match without a gay joke aimed at Sylvan or a French joke.
WINNER: Vito in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2*
-After the match, Vito got on MVP's case for laughing at him. He said if he's so tough, come get some. Vito taunted him. MVP headed into the ring and grabbed the mic. He got a call in mid-sentence. He said his agent told him something about big money. He said his agent says he doesn't have a contract yet, so "no contract, no contact yet." He said they'd have to do it some other time. JBL defended him.
-They showed Booker, Regal, and Finlay preparing for their match by comparing the lengths of their rods.
-They recapped the show-opening angle.
6 -- BATISTA & BOBBY LASHLEY vs. KING BOOKER & WILLIAM REGAL & FINALY (w/Sharmell)
Batista opened with offense, then tagged in Lashley who knocked both Finlay and Regal out of the ring. JBL said Lashley has "it."
The heels took over. They took turns beating on Finlay. Batista broke up a pin attempt on Lashley at 10:00. Finlay then let the little green guy out from under the ring and threw him off the ring apron onto Lashley. The green guy went after Cole briefly. Finlay dragged him away and shoved him back under the ring. Cole was slow to get up and said, "That little bastard bit me! On my ankle!" Lashley hot-tagged Booker at 12:00. He beat up all three heels as they came after him one after another. He gave Lashley a jackhammer, then slammed him onto Regal. Booker hit Batista from behind. Batista, though, blocked his scepter swing and spinebustered him for the win.
WINNER; Batista & Lashley in 13:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Basic predictable formula tag, but passable action.
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show. To contribute your thoughts on Smackdown, click here.
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