TV REPORTS KELLER'S ECW ON SCI-FI REPORT 11/14: Punk vs. Knox, Lashley vs. Holly, Daivari vs. Dreamer
Nov 15, 2006 - 4:39:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
ECW ON SCI-FI
NOVEMBER 14, 2006
TAPED IN MANCHESTER, ENGLAND
AIRED ON SCI-FI NETWORK
-Clips aired of last week's main event featuring RVD & Hardcore Holly vs. Paul Heyman & Big Show. They showed a clip of RVD hot-tagging Holly into the ring, then immediately Holly turning and attacking RVD. The post-production work was over the top, but added to the effectiveness of the story.
-After the ECW opening, Joey Styles introduced Elijah Burke as the one-week replacement for Tazz, who was back in the U.S. recovering from knee surgery. Sylvester Terkay stood behind Burke in a bodyguard stance. Burke refers to him as "the man bear," which frankly sounds more like a pet name for a lover than an intimidating nickname. How about "The Grizzly Grouch" instead? No, that's no better.
-In the ring sat a desk and a chair. Big Show and Paul Heyman walked out. Heyman introduced himself to the crowd. When they booed, he said, "Thank you for your irrelevant opinion." He said he had good news and bad news. Hey, he's stealing Lita's material. He said RVD would not be at the show tonight. He said that was for his own well-being. He said the good news is that tonight he has (say it along with me) "the honor and the privilege" of presenting to the fans, the most dominant champion in ECW history, Big Show. Then he talked about the Extreme Elimination Chamber match. He said Sabu, Test, Rob Van Dam, C.M. Punk, and Big Show were already entered. He said the last slot hasn't been filled. He said it could be someone from Raw, Smacckdown, or ECW. He held up a contract on a clipboard and said it's time for the sixth person to sign to enter. Hardcore Holly's music played. Styles said it's not surprise that Holly would be the final entrant since he sold his soul last week for the opportunity. As Holly was about to walk through the entrance tunnel, Bobby Lashley attacked him. Heyman and Show looked upset.
Lashley then walked to the ring. Show met him on the rampway. Lashley speared him, then entered the ring. He picked up the clipboard and signed the contract to be the final entrant. Heyman threw a fit at ringside. Styles said that made it official: "Bobby Lashley is the sixth and final competitor in the Extreme Elimination Chamber for the ECW World Title." Lashley stood in the ring, grabbed the ECW belt, held it in the air, and stared down Show and Heyman.
-They showed a scene fro the streets of Manchester, England. They showed a rainy street and a drab office building. What they do, poke the camera out of the lobby of their hotel? Couldn't they have found something flattering, like they do on Monday Night Football?
-Heyman talked to Test, Big Show, and Holly backstage. He said he's going to lawyer up because there's no way what he did could be legal. He said if Lashley wants to be in ECW so badly, they'd welcome him with a singles match against Holly so he could get revenge for Lashley stealing his spot in the Chamber. Big Show looks like he hasn't had a good night's sleep in a month. He looks like he needs that time off he's got coming sooner than after December's ECW PPV.
1 -- C.M. PUNK vs. MIKE KNOX (w/Kelly Kelly)
Burke said Kelly is already with a man, so why is she showing interest in another. "Is she a tart, is she a snapper (or slapper?)" he said. Styles said he doesn't know British vernacular. Punk slide out of the ring after Knox when Knox bailed out at 1:00. Punk reverse sidekicked Knox, who bumped into Kelly. When Punk checked on Kelly, Knox attacked him and threw him back-first into the ringpost. Back in the ring, the crowd enthusiastically chanted "C.M. Punk" a half dozen times. Knox catapulted Punk into the top turnbuckle. At 5:00 Punk made a comeback. He dove through the ropes onto Knox at ringside with a spear. Styles reminded us of Punk's "Straight Edge" lifestyle. Knox returned fire a minute later with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a two count. Punk returned fire with a spinning backfist, roundhouse kick to the head, and unanagi into the Anaconda Vice, prompting a tapout. Kelly clapped and smiled at the finish, which Styles noted. Kelly, though, left with Knox.
WINNER: Punk in 9:00 via tapout.
STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Good match.
-Styles plugged the Lashley vs. Holly main event. I think the main thing holding back Holly is that name, "Holly." It just doesn't sound tough. There's a reason Lex Luger changed his name from Larry Pfohl. If he was Hardcore Hansen or Hardcore Hammerstein or Hardcore Hoover or Hardcore Halderman or Hardcore Henderson or Hardcore Hickenbottom, he'd be a main event star by now.
HALF-WAY POINT OF SHOW
-Backstage, Matt Strikerr stood in front of a chalk board and talked about famous political statements. He incorrectly used the term "whom" to try to sound smart. He said, "Those whom ignore history are doomed to repeat it," in reference to those entering the Elimination Chamber without studying its history. A video feature aired on the Chamber.
-In a backstage interview, Punk talked about being in the Elimination Chamber as a great opportunity. He said he likes competition. He said the best part, when that door closes, it's every man for himself.
-The video feature on WrestleMania's ticket launch that aired on Raw also aired here.
2 -- DAIVARI (w/Great Khali) vs. TOMMY DREAMER
Daivari yapped on the mic on his way to the ring. Daivari was introduced as being from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Khali and Dreamer had a staredown in mid-ring, Daivari clipped Dreamer from behind. Dreamer came back with an overhead suplex, then stomped Daivar in the corner. Daivari fired back with a low dropkick to Dreamer's knee. Daivari dove off the top rope, but Dreamer moved and then got up and threw a barrage of punches. Daivari again went after Dreamer's knee. Khali then yanked Dreamer's legs out from under him and yanked him crotch-first into the ringpost. The ref called for the DQ. Khali then threw Dreamer around the ring afterward. Burke said Khali lifting and slamming Dreamer to the mat is like falling from the Empire State Building. Actually, it's more like falling off the top of a step ladder, but he was close.
WINNER: Dreamer via DQ in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not much to it, but okay.
-A promo aired for the Roddy Piper DVD.
-They replayed Lashley's surprise appearance earlier in the show.
-Holly's ring entrance took place
3 -- BOBBY LASHLEY vs. HARDCORE HOLLY
The match was joined in progress with Lashley shoulder-ramming Holly in the corner. Heyman, Test, and Show watched from ringside. Burke slipped up and called Holly, "Hardcore Harley." Yeah, that works, too. Holly came back and settled into a chinlock that nearly put Lashley to sleep. When Holly came off the top rope, Lashley met his face with the bottom of his boot. Lashley then lifted Holly into a torture rack and dropped down, leading to a near fall at 4:00. Lashley went to the top rope. Holly leaped onto the top rope, knocking Lashley off balance. Heyman smiled at ringside. Holly superplexed Lashley. Holly leaped off the top rope right into Lashley's arms. Lashley slammed Holly, then charged at him in the corner with a clothesline. He finished with a running powerslam for the apparent win. Big Show yanked the ref out of the ring during the count. The ref called for the DQ. Test then attacked Lashley. The Heyman Security Force joined in the attack. Punk and Sabu ran to the ring to make the save. They clotheeslined Test over the top rope to the floor. Sabu flipped onto them at ringside. RVD then ran out with a chair and cleaned house. Lashley speared both security guys. The crowd chanted "RVD, RVD, RVD." Burke, in the understatement of the night, said, "I don't think that worked out how Paul Heyman expected." Lashley signalled that he wants the belt around his waist, while looking down at Show.
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