TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S RAW REPORT 11/27: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live show
Nov 27, 2006 - 10:11:00 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist
WWE Raw Alternative Report
November 27 in Pittsburgh, Pa.
- We start with Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introducing the show. They talked about the Hardys challenging Team RKO for the tag titles tonight.
- Ric Flair was in the ring dressed to wrestle. Whoos. Whoos. More Whoos. He said he probably shouldn't be here tonight because a bunch of male cheerleaders beat the crap out of him despite him being victorious. They rolled footage to accentuate the point. Boos. Flair said that because of that attack, he wanted the feud to end for good tonight. He said he has partners with him to compete against every member of the Squad. Their music hit and out came all five Squadsters. They did a cheer on a hot mic. They encouraged Flair to retire because he's older than God. That's all that was audible. Squad then walked to the ring and confronted Flair. Suddenly, DX's music hit. Squad bailed as Triple H and Shawn Michaels slowly walked to the ring. Ross acknowledged the history between Flair and DX. Hunter took the mic and asked Squad ant Pittsburgh if they're ready. After the cheers died down, Hunter said he's not ready. "How many times do we have to kick your asses?" Hunter asked. He asked the fans if they're sick of DX beating up Squad. Cheers. Hunter guaranteed that it would be the last time we ever seen Squad. Before Hunter could do his Michael Buffer intro, Squad jumped him to jump-start the match.
After things settled down, Hunter worked on Mikey in a neutral corner. Flair then HBK tagged in and worked on Mikey. Poor Mikey. Finally, they caught Flair in the heel corner and worked in him. The action broke down with DX clearing Squadsters to the outside. HBK then hit a cannonball flip dive onto all five members on the outside. Back in the ring, DX and Flair did the Flair strut. We cut to break. Thank goodness for some action rather than a 15-minute opening promo.
HBK fought out of a headlock by Johnny into a side suplex. Mitch then tagged in and worked on HBK before the Squad quintuple-teamed HBK in the corner. Kenny then snapped off three rolling arm drags while maintaining contact with HBK. Suddenly, HBK fought out of the Squad corner, but Mitch cut him off. Kenny then tried to plant Mikey onto HBK from the top rope, but HBK moved and tagged in Hunter. Hunter took it to everyone before dropping Mikey with a spinebuster. Flair took the tag and tried to apply the Figure Four, but Squad cut him off. Mitch then took Sweet Chin Music. Flair, HBK, and Hunter applied a triple shot Figure Four and they tapped out furiously. HBK and Flair embraced post-match. Hunter and Flair then shook hands. They did the simultaneous DX crotch chops in center ring, with Flair just a second slow on the pause before the final chop. Ross said DX made Flair an honorary member. Flair fought back tears as Hunter and HBK hugged him. Ross said it was an emotional moment for Flair.
WINNERS: DX & Flair in 12:00. Another "feel good" match. Perfectly fine to start the show. The post-match ending was good TV, but it felt odd. Unless Flair is retiring, there seems to be a few missing chapters in this story, especially when WWE hasn't acknowledged Flair's former relationship with DX before this match.
- They aired home video footage of the Hardys starting out on the family trampoline in the woods behind the Hardy home. Not exactly the best message to present in front of young kids who are watching the show and might consider going in the backyard tomorrow afternoon and performing moves on a trampoline.
- They aired footage from during the commercial break when Triple H pulled out his sledgehammer from under the ring. He chased Squad up the ramp with the hammer.
- They went back live backstage where Hunter and HBK dumped Squad members into a storage box and locked it. They slapped a sticker on the box that read "Destination: OVW, Louisville, KY." A guy from "OPS" instead of UPS walked up to DX. Hunter asked why HBK got the shipping service. HBK said it was the cheapest he could find. Hunter said that was cool. The OPS guy then asked if they wanted shipping insurance and when they wanted it to arrive. Hunter made sure it wasn't going to be overnight and he said they don't need insurance. He said it could be a few weeks or by Christmas, that it doesn't really matter. HBK then signed the shipping slip. The OPS guy said, "OK, Mr. McMahon." HBK and Hunter grinned, then they rolled the trunk away. HBK fought back tears. He said it was an emotional moment as they realized the end of an era. Hunter said it was tears from a glass eye.
- Ross and Lawler discussed the ECW PPV. Ross talked about the Hardys issuing an open challenge to anyone for a match at the PPV. They went backstage where Nitro and Melina were waiting to address the challenge. Joey Mercury then popped in the picture and accepted the challenge on behalf of Nitro. Sporting braids in his hair, Mercury said MNM was back. Just when Nitro was breaking out as a singles star.
- Mickie James walked out to commentate on the Diva Battle Royale to determine the next contender to Mickie's Women's Title. Melina and Candice Michelle walked out before they cut to a break.
2 -- MELINA vs. CANDICE MICHELLE vs. MARIA vs. TORRIE WILSON vs. VICTORIA
Candice and Torrie double-teamed Victoria early on. I could be wrong, but I believe Candice and Victoria were an item and feuding with Torrie. Melina then pimpslapped Torrie across the face. Victoria told Melina to clothesline Torrie, so she charged the corner and Victoria nailed Melina with a hard clothesline. She then tossed Melina out. Maria saved herself from an elimination, then Victoria threw Torrie out. She then clotheslined Maria off the apron. Candice and Victoria fought. Candice tried to push Victoria off the apron, but Victoria fought back and caught Candice with a sick kick to the face. Candice flew back into the ring. Victoria then tossed Candice out of the ring to win. Afterward, Victoria got in Maria's face. She then took Candice back into the ring and gave her the Widow's Peak. Mickie said she might be crazy, but Victoria is a psycho biatch. Victoria maintained eye contact with Mickie on the way out of the ring.
WINNER: Victoria in 4:00 to earn a Women's Title match. Time for Victoria's fifteenth push as the psycho diva killer. Maybe they'll do it right this time.
- They showed footage from September '98 when the Hardys debuted as a tag team against Kaientai on Shotgun Saturday Night.
3 -- EUGENE vs. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN
Before the match, they aired footage of Eugene snapping on Hacksaw Duggan a few weeks ago. He was still wearing his jacket with the green paint stains. Duggan then walked out. He got in Eugene's face before the bell, then Eugene slapped him hard across the face. Duggan quickly came back, then Eugene bailed to the outside. Eugene dropped Duggan across the top rope throat-first. He then took Duggan head-first into the ringpost and executed a swinging neckbreaker in the ring. He made the cover for the win. After the match, Eugene took the mic and told the fans not to make fun of him or laugh at him. Boos. He said he's special. "Dammit, I am special!" he said. Eugene slipped to the outside and screamed at the front row of fans. He backed up the entrance ramp pulling out his hair.
WINNER: Eugene in 2:00. The complete polar opposite of a feel-good moment on the show. Someone needs to give Vince and the writers a tape of the show on kids with autism on the Discovery last night. They wouldn't be booking this if they didn't live inside a giant bubble where common decency isn't expected.
- DX walked up to Dusty Rhodes and Arn Anderson. Dusty said it was cool the respect DX paid to Flair tonight. HBK said they're having a big party for Flair. He said he already got the chips, dip, soda, and big karaoke machine. HBK smacked his hands excitedly and ran off. Hunter rolled his eyes. He then told Dusty and Arn he has two words. "Booze and broads." Dusty's eyes lighted up. Ron Simmons then walked in and paused. "Damn," he said. Hunter said he's in and they all walked off.
- They plugged a special edition of the Cutting Edge up next with a very special guest. Would that be Eugene?
- This Week in Wrestling history is Nov. 29, 1999 for the Stephanie and Test wedding that didn't happen when Hunter drugged up Stephanie. I still remember that I had a biology test the next day. After the clip aired, Lawler said there's a long history between Hunter and Vince. Ross acknowledged history between Hunter and Stephanie.
- Edge stormed out for the Cutting Edge segment. He opened by congratulating DX for beating Spirit Squad for the millionth time. "Riveting," he said. Edge said it might be hypocritical to complain about DX beating down Squad so many times because he's beaten up young Matthew and Jeffrey so many times over the years. He said he's going to dedicate Team RKO's victory over the Hardys to Lita. Edge said Lita's not the special guest tonight. He tried to introduce the special guest, but no one came out and no music hit. Edge said maybe he should just cancel his show. Randy Orton then appeared from around the stage area. He told Edge to come down and confirm who his guest is. Edge then peered behind the curtain and said it's definitely him. Edge and Orton then dragged Flair to ringside. Flair was covered in blood and his dress shirt was torn up.
Edge said it's about time for DX to make the big save. Orton said they're selfish and only out for themselves. Edge said DX doesn't care about their supposed friend, Ric Flair, and they only care about themselves. He said they should send a message to DX. Edge picked up two steel chairs. He placed one chair underneath Flair's head. He then delivered a chair shot. Orton then grabbed the chair from Edge and delivered a chair shot of his own to Flair's head. Ross said Orton and Edge know very well that DX has left the building to plan a party for Flair. Edge and Orton then walked up the entrance ramp and left Flair lying on the chair.
- Ross talked about Flair being the biggest victim he's ever seen in his life. Ross and Lawler narrated clips of the previous segment. They showed a clip from during the break when Flair was wheeled out on a gurney. Ross said what he really wants to say about Edge & Orton would get him fired. Lawler's music then hit. He said he had to take care of some business. Ross said he will never forget the night Ric Flair was physically destroyed.
4 -- JERRY LAWLER vs. CHRIS MASTERS
Masters scored with a one-hand slam to start the match. A "steroids" chant started up within the first minute. Masters then applied a standing bear hug. Lawler broke it by biting Masters on the nose. He executed a dropkick, then hit consecutive fist drops from the second rope. Masters came back with a high knee lift. Crowd's pretty quiet right now. Masters continued to work on Lawler with power offense. He then missed with a top rope fist drop and Lawler came back with left hand blows. Masters complained about Lawler hitting him in the face, ala the big anchor brawl in Anchorman. Masters then applied the Masterlock. Before Lawler could fade out, Carlito's music hit. Carlito slowly walked out on stage. Masters released the hold as Carlito walked up to the ring. Carlito then spit apple in Masters's eyes and Lawler rolled him up from behind for the win. Carlito raised Lawler's hand after the match as Masters threw a fit in the ring.
WINNER: Lawler in 5:00. Slow, prodding match. The crowd has been trained not to respect Masters as a wrestler or a threat to a babyface, so they don't take him seriously when he's on the offensive. WWE reinforced that training with the finish of the match.
- They showed another Hardy Classics clip, this one from No Mercy in October 1999. They showed the Hardys defeating Edge & Christian in a ladder match. After the clip aired, Ross said he's pulling for the Hardys to beat Edge & Orton tonight after what they did to Flair.
- They showed Pittsburgh Steelers sitting ringside. No horsing around from the players this week. Chalk it up to a shutout loss yesterday.
- Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada walked out. Armando said only one man was unstoppable last night - Umaga. They showed footage of Umaga smashing RVD, Sabu, and Cena with a TV monitor. Of course, what they failed to show was Cena completely recovering to give Big Show the FU at the end of the match. We'll forget about that. Armando said no one has been able to present a challenge to Umaga thus far on Raw. He said it's time for Umaga to become WWE Champion. Armando called out Cena and said he's being put on notice that Umaga is officially challenging for the belt. Cena's music hit. He walked into the ring and went face-to-face with Umaga. Cena opened by accepting Umaga's challenge. He then held up his title belt. Umaga then flashed his dental work and grunted as Cena ripped off his t-shirt. Armando backed Umaga up. Ross said Armando wants Umaga to pick his spot. Cena continued to stand his ground in the ring. Armando said it would be when he says so. Cena's music hit as Umaga and Armando left. Nice opening chapter in the official feud between Cena and Umaga.
- They're plugging Big Show vs. Lashley on ECW tomorrow night.
- Ross and Lawler stood by the announce table to discuss an upcoming piece of video footage that was based on recent insensitive remarks by a comedian. Ross did the serious intro before they went to a knock-off video on Michael Richards blowing up at the Laugh Factory two weekends ago. And here I thought this was over. A white male did a bad stand-up routine while plants in the audience booed and heckled him. He then snapped on one guy and repeated Richards's lines. They bleeped out the profane language. One guy stood up and left. Cryme Tyme's music hit. They emerged from each side of the stage. The stand-up guy became quiet and said he was uncomfortable. He said he's sorry. J.T.G. didn't think that was sincere. They then tried to teach him a handshake. The dude who walked out sat back down. J.T.G. said it's all right that he isn't picking up on the handshake because a lot of white comedians don't get it. Shad then blindsided him with a big boot to the face. The "fans" clapped and whopped it up. J.T.G. did a brief routine and did the old "Can't we all get along?" line. They stole the guy's wallet on the way out. After the video aired, Ross said a lot of people feel that should have happened to Michael Richards after the remarks he made. Lawler laughed and said that was great. Oh dear.
- Jeff Hardy was getting warmed up backstage. Edge then walked up to him and asked Jeff if he saw the beating they put on Flair. He asked if it brought back bad memories to when he used to beat up the Hardys back in the day. Edge called Matt the most over-rated piece of crap on the roster. He said Matt is the albatross around his neck. Jeff said the only thing that will be weighing him down will be the second title belt he'll have around his waist. Randy Orton then walked into the picture. Matt followed into the shot and asked if there was a problem. Edge and Orton backed down and said there was no problem. Matt said they would see them in the ring.
- They aired a video package on the Cena-Federline feud to set up their New Year's match.
- Edge & Orton walked out. They aired a recap clip on the beating on Ric Flair. Lawler said that he was backstage when the medics were still working on Flair and he hasn't been taken to a medical facility yet. The Hardys then walked out to a big ovation.
5 -- EDGE & RANDY ORTON vs. MATT & JEFF HARDY -- WWE Tag Title match
Orton ran over Jeff early on, then Jeff came back with an arm drag takeover. The Hardys exchanged tags working on Orton. Edge tagged in and clotheslined Jeff. The heels went to work on Jeff. Very methodical opening three minutes. Jeff then countered a double-team back body drop attempt into a double DDT. Matt took the tag and ran over the heels with clotheslines. The Hardys executed a double suplex on Orton, then went to opposite corners. Edge shoved Jeff off the top rope, which allowed Orton to recover and go after Matt on the opposite corner. However, Matt shoved him off and went for a moonsault, but Orton moved out of the way. Edge set up for the spear as they cut to commercial.
Orton had Matt in a rear naked choke out of the break. Matt fought out, but Orton knocked him down with a knee lift. They showed footage from during the break when Edge speared Matt, but Jeff broke up the pin attempt. Back live, Edge applied a seated sleeper, but Matt broke out of the hold. Edge came back with a flapjack for a nearfall. Edge and Matt then exchanged standing blows before Edge caught him with a smart drop toehold to tag out to Orton. Matt took clubbing forearm blows to the chest. Orton went back to a trademark mat hold to ground Matt. Edge tagged in and tried to work on Matt in the corner, but Matt fought him off with back elbow smashes. He executed a desperation moonsault for a nearfall. Orton then took another tag and cut off Matt before he could make a tag. They started to exchange blows, then Matt flipped out of a suplex and jumped to Jeff for the tag.
Jeff immediately ran over Edge, who was on the apron. Jeff hit the Whisper in the Wind on Orton for a close nearfall. The Hardys then hit a dual Side effect on Randy, then Jeff made the cover for another nearfall. They followed with a combo leg drop to the crotch and top rope guillotine leg drop. Jeff splashed Edge on the outside, then missed with a corner leg whip when Orton moved. Orton set up for the RKO, but Matt caught him from behind with the Twist of Fate. Jeff hit the Swanton Bomb on Orton as the crowd exploded. He had one, two, and then Edge smashed Jeff in the head with the tag title belt. The ref called for the bell. "Dammit!" Ross screamed. Edge beat down the Hardys, then Orton gave Matt the RKO on one of the tag belts. Edge and Orton stood together in the ring as the Hardys were laid out on the mat. Ross said DX would be back next week and business would definitely pick up. Yep, the only babyfaces who can stay on their feet at the end of a show are Hunter and HBK.
WINNERS: Hardys via DQ in 16:00. Methodical tag match. Slow in some spots, especially when Orton relied on his favorite mat holds. The finish was exciting and should help boost the over-run rating. Of course, it's all about DX in the end, but a good main event match to cap off the show.
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